Post: #1

I apologize for the following wall of text, but I need some advice from the experienced guys on the board.

I live in a relatively small town, so I see the same 50-60 kids everynight in the bars around here. I'm in the college-bar scene and I go out about six nights a week.

The obvious downside to such a limited-population bar community is that getting blown out bears near-fatal repercussions. An animated and publicly advertised blowout will add you to the no-sex-blacklists of several females.

One upside (I think) to these communities is that you are afforded more time to build attraction through indirect means over an expanse of a month or so. Since you know you will see a particular girl at least one night a week, you can DHV to her without even initiating a conversation--i.e. be seen with attractive females and display alpha behavior while acting oblivious to her existence. You are afforded a temporal bubble between attraction and approach so that you can open on a girl when the set is at least near-optimal. Yes, I understand that a girl can get snatched up fast if you wait too long, but I've fucked enough college girls with "boyfriends" to know that relationships don't mean jack with a lot of them.

Theories aside: I met a girl last weekend who I number-closed on in a bar parking lot at the tail-end of a Wednesday night. I never called/texted her because it felt obvious to me that I hadn't built enough attraction to prevent a flake, and that I might as well put my seduction attempts on her on the backburner. It was near-certain that I'd see her again, after all.

Lo' and behold, we met the following week at another bar. She hardly remembered who I was (didn't matter, since I got her name wrong anyway), and we had a decent conversation that saw me receive several IOI's (touching my arm, she never broke eye contact, a subliminal feeling that she wanted to get fucked). Admittedly, I performed poorly here, but I felt as though I built enough rapport that I hadn't completely ruined my chances for the future.

Fast forward a week later to tonight and I notice her at the bar, but she's with a cavalcade of male admirers who are all relentlessly hitting on her. Nonetheless, I see her staring at me from across the room. The set, in my opinion, would have made for a terrible approach: there were five guys for me to try and out-alpha in a relatively small frame of time. Given the situation, I make a point not to make eye-contact with her and carry on with my conversations as if she's not even there. I know she's riding high on the outrageous level of attention she is receiving from these mopey shits jockeying desperately for her pussy and I was unwilling to be cast as beta #18 of her night.

Bar closes and I'm outside having a cigarette with a couple of friends. She walks out with about five girls and a small following of 2-3 male fans. Again, I make sure not to acknowledge her. She seems to have two modes of social existence:

1. Completely alone and hilariously easy to approach
2. Surrounded by an army of attractive female friends and beta males

At one point, she steps up behind me, about a meter away, and just lingers for a moment, talking in a raised voice in an obvious attempt to capture my attention. I don't play into her hands as, again, the set would have made for an awful approach: my physical positioning was terrible and would have required me to implicitly acknowledge that I had been observing her all along if I made the abrupt 180 degree turn to face her. I earnestly believe that she was shit-testing me.

Given the fact that she bore enough demonstrated interest to try and shit-test me, I think that I will wait until the next time I see her to approach. I feel like if I don't approach upon the next time she sees me, then I will have waited far too long and permanently fucked my chances.

I am not sure if I fucked up or not in this situation. As you can see, I am (perhaps desperately) rationalizing my behavior. I'd like the opinions of the more experienced guys here.

Post: #2

Dont think of it as fucking up, think of it as learning. If you think negatively about it you're gonna feel bad about it, and that'll ruin you from the inside out.

If I were you I'd use that phone number she probably forgot she gave you.

Chef In Jeans
A culinary website for men

Post: #3

Upon further review of my night, I realize that the problem that I had in the OP was a relatively minor issue. I had a pretty horrible gaming performance. I went out solo, but since I know a lot of people at any given venue on almost any given night, I end up using (male) friends, as a crutch. I'm not quite used to solo'ing yet.

Set #1: Three male friends, one Brazilian girl (6/10), one white girl (6/10)
I start out talking to the Brazilian, who immediately begins to demonstrate IOI's. I am not particularly attracted to her and one of my friends was counting on getting birthday sex from her, so I didn't push the situation. About halfway through the set, one of the guys in the set calls over a braying blonde who insists she can speak Spanish with the Brazilian girl. The blonde blatantly ignores all of the guys in the group and slobbers her way through a conversation in Spanish with the Brazilian (yes, the Brazilian knew Spanish). I drop several negs regarding her Spanish-speaking performance, which she ignores. At one point, she says she minored in Spanish to which I reply, sarcastically, "money well spent." She finally acknowledges me and gives me a cold glare.

It was pretty pathetic that two, mediocre-looking girls were essentially able to shut four guys out of a conversation. In hindsight, I would say that I was being too reactive by sticking to negging the attention whore of the group. The guys I with weren't making things any better. For every neg I gave her, she was able to find immediate supplication from my beta-male companions who never spoke up except to giggle at my negs or shower the blonde with praise. I think having had a prepared story would have also worked wonders in this situation, and I came to realize that I should always have three or four of these stories on-hand.

Set #2: One male friend, white female (6.5), white female (7.5)
I leave the bar where set 1 took place and had to an adjacent venue a few meters away. Outside, I see a guy I know standing with two relatively attractive girls. I open the set by talking to the kid I knew, and I see the 7.5 "check me out" from head to toe in a rather obvious manner. The friend never bothers to introduce me to his female friends, despite the possible IOI the hotter one was giving me (or maybe that's why he didn't introduce me), and we had a brief conversation about college football. The two girls were totally disengaged from our conversation but were still facing us. If I'd paused and casually looked at them, I might have been able to draw them in, alas I think this is where inexperience hurt me.

I wasn't confident in my ability to casually look upon them and say something. I could have just said something about their dress or something equally innocuous like "so who do you think is gonna win x game"? Pretty huge mistake here.


After set 2, I entered the bar and found myself content to talk to talk to male friends I saw inside for the rest of the night until the situation in the OP occurred. Overall, a pretty pathetic performance.

What I learned
1. I need to craft some stories for awkward moments like set 1
2. Don't hesitate to engage girls in a set
3. Start with some safe cold approaches

Post: #4

Forgot to mention the following set:

Set #3: male friend, Arab female (4/10), Arab female (6/10)
Since I speak Arabic, and I overheard their conversation, I decided to open the set by saying something in Arabic to them. I jumped the gun here and was far too aggressive here and almost immediately shut the guy out and asked for the girls' names. One had a rather stupid name and I casually negged her which they seemed to find cute. The hotter one didn't seem interested in me at all, so I disengaged.

Post: #5

I would say dont neglect the male friends either. Women judge you a lot based on what their friends think of you, not just what they think of you. Plus "guy friends" tend to want to "look out for" their female friends they cant bang. I know because I used to be just that, I was big brother for a plethora of girls when I was in school. If he thinks you're a cool dude, then it can go a long way to getting the girl. Plus dudes are easier to talk to.

Chef In Jeans
A culinary website for men

Post: #6

Good points, Chad. Thanks.

Post: #7

(10-15-2011 02:14 AM)Batata Wrote:  The obvious downside to such a limited-population bar community is that getting blown out bears near-fatal repercussions. An animated and publicly advertised blowout will add you to the no-sex-blacklists of several females.

Hi buddy,

I don't know anything about sets or IOI's or the other things you talked about, so I can't help you there.

What I can tell you is that in that small community where everybody knows everybody, you need to get with one girl and fuck the living tar out of her. You need to leave her sore. She needs to put that out on the network.

It doesn't matter if she's the drunkest hood rat in the gang. The biggest slut in that little environment is the one all the girls eventually talk to about the dudes, and how well their dicks work.

Trust me, fuck one, wait a few days, then watch how many more sets and IOI's you wind up with. Just look past all the social dynamics you're so worried about and fuck a slut.

Aloha!

Post: #8

Haha. I will look into it.

Post: #9

Performed my first cold approaches tonight. Did six total. Rolled solo.

In one instance, I was totally sober and approached a couple of attractive (7/10) brunettes (Are you Brazilian?). They received me quite well, but after the first five minutes, I ran out of material, even though one of the girls invited me to come meet her friends.

One thing I learned: you can read all the theories you want online, but you don't know a damn thing until you cold approach yourself. It's one of the most exciting things I've done in a long time. I was literally fighting back physical jitters while talking to some of the girls I approached tonight. I realized that I have a long, long way to go before I'm even functional in gaming girls.

Post: #10

(10-15-2011 09:37 PM)Batata Wrote:  Haha. I will look into it.

This response is why it will take you so long to start doing damage in your town. Kona gave you some great advice. You're making things way to complicated. Find the ugliest college bar girl if you have to and do what Kona said. Who gives a fuck if she doesn't look that good? Get drunk, high, dim the lights and beat the pussy up like it's talking shit. Tell her to spread the word about your dick when you're done. Start from the bottom and work your way up.

Post: #11

(10-16-2011 01:48 AM)houston Wrote:  

(10-15-2011 09:37 PM)Batata Wrote:  Haha. I will look into it.

This response is why it will take you so long to start doing damage in your town. Kona gave you some great advice. You're making things way to complicated. Find the ugliest college bar girl if you have to and do what Kona said. Who gives a fuck if she doesn't look that good? Get drunk, high, dim the lights and beat the pussy up like it's talking shit. Tell her to spread the word about your dick when you're done. Start from the bottom and work your way up.

He said to find the biggest "slut," not the ugliest girl. I feel like being seen hitting on hideous girls will DLV the ever-living fuck out of me, especially in a competitive market. Feel free to clarify.

Post: #12

I am turning this into a mini-progress thread of sorts. Please give me feedback on the following conversation/circumstance. Recap:

Set #1: Two white 7/10's
I indirectly approach this pair while they are smoking outside. I ask them if they are Brazilian, to which they say they're not, and one of them breaks out into a fit of giggly laughter. I lie about having spent the summer in Curitiba, Brazil and tell them that they look a lot like the girls down there. Girls seem to associate "Brazilian" with "hot," and I don't know if I should be opening up with it because of its nebulous nature as a neg. It might be a compliment.

This is the longest, probably most "important" conversation I had. It was a pure cold approach. I was nervous the entire time and was so excited that I was near physically jittering when I achieved isolation of one of the girls. I had to fight back these jitters for the entire conversation:

[My answers in italics]

So, what are your guys then?
Girl#1: I'm just Irish and Italian
Girl #2: German, Italian, and Assyrian
Oh, cool, I'm half Syrian, not ASSyrian though
Girl#2: Oh, so you actually know what that is? We don't have a country.
You guys have Iraq
Girl#2: [jokingly] Yeah, but your people killed all my people!
Hey now, I didn't kill anybody. Take that up with somebody else. I'm an American

Girl #1 exits, says she will see her friend inside.

You hair's in style
Oh, well thanks, I guess! [laughs]
So what do you do?
Guess
Med student? Doctor? (Note: stupid question, since I look, dress, and am 22 years old)
Nah, I went to school for biology though.
So a physician's assistant?
No way, that's basically a glorified nurse.
Haha, just tell me!
I write for a fashion magazine (Note: this is half true. I do write about fashion design)
Oh my god. Wow! I love [insert some fashion icon here]
Yeah, I don't even know who that is. What do you do?
I'm going to be a law student next year.
[/i]Cool, where at?[/i]
[Insert name of toilet law school here in big city]
Awesome. I was in [big city] this summer, spent a week in an apartment in downtown. You'll love it. Too bad lawyers are shady people
Oh come on now, I'm not shady. I'm just going to be divorcing people.
Oh, so you're splitting apart families that's nice
[laughs] I mean, if they want a divorce, they come to me. I'm just there to facilitate.
I couldn't sleep at night with that job. What are you doing in [current city]?
I'm interning at a family law office in downtown
Ironic that they call it "family law." [laughter]

Girl #1 re-enters the scene, tells friend that she needs to come inside.

Girl#2 (the one I was talking to): Come with us!
Sure



At this point, I run out of things to say and I get nervous about being the only guy in a group of attractive girls, so I end up bailing. I was extremely nervous.

Post: #13

Had some moderate success last night with a Latina 7/10:

Walked the girl home, made out with her on the way (I didn't ask), and held her hand on the way back home. We get to her doorstep and she tells me "my boyfriend is here, by the way."

Big black kid opens the door with a very disappointed look on his face. I ask to use the bathroom to which the boyfriend obliges, and then tries to get me to leave as quickly as possible.

I don't know whether to be disappointed or chalk this one up as a funny story.