Post: #1

I'm speaking from experience.

Do not get into a serious, committed, monogamous long term relationship before you've decided to settle down forever.

Post: #2

(01-26-2012 09:27 PM)mofo Wrote:  I'm speaking from experience.

Do not get into a serious, committed, monogamous long term relationship

Fixed it for you.

EDIT: So I wont be that asshole, real content. You're right. Giving up the game too early or before your ready will end up hurting you and the other person a lot. A hell of a lot.

Post: #3

(01-26-2012 09:27 PM)mofo Wrote:  I'm speaking from experience.

Do not get into a serious, committed, monogamous long term relationship before you've decided to settle down forever.

Wise words.

Post: #4

Good words, but don't help guys who have their brains hijacked by Vasopressin/oneitis. They will think they're ready to settle down forever even when it might not be in their best long-term interests.

Post: #5

Truth. I had a six year relationship all through college (I'm a slow learner lol). Great girl, just not in me to settle down. I tried, but it was like being a caged animal. Always knew it wasn't for me, but didn't want to hurt her. Looking back, I hurt her worse by staying with her for so long. She, and I, would have been hurt much less and been better off had I ended it several years earlier when I realized it wasn't for me. If you have serious doubts with your LTR, end it now. It will seem very hard to do, but it never gets any easier and people just get hurt worse. Take it from me, end it ASAP.

However, I look at it as one of those million dollar life lessons. I am glad that it happened because now I will never have to make that mistake again. Which means I will never end up marrying some girl and then having to get divorced with kids when I am 40. Six years was a small price to pay compared to many men out there. Looking back, I am sure many men would have paid one million dollars to learn this lesson before they fucked up and got married/had kids.

Post: #6

Interesting

Post: #7

(01-26-2012 09:27 PM)mofo Wrote:  I'm speaking from experience.

Do not get into a serious, committed, monogamous long term relationship before you've decided to settle down forever.

I'm curious about what made you bring this up to us.

Post: #8

(01-26-2012 11:50 PM)Amour Fou Wrote:  

(01-26-2012 09:27 PM)mofo Wrote:  I'm speaking from experience.

Do not get into a serious, committed, monogamous long term relationship before you've decided to settle down forever.

I'm curious about what made you bring this up to us.

I was reading some old emails from my ex.

I felt that I have to share my advice on this topic with the forum.
If even one person benefits from this advice then it was worth it to post it.

Post: #9

/raisehand

(had the first two showings of my house today as I'm forced to keep it clean and sell it due to the settlement. Marrying too early == Real Bad Idea)

(actually, marrying insane woman who needs seven years of depression therapy before flipping out and taking half of everything == Real Bad Idea, but she seemed sane at the time)

Post: #10

(01-27-2012 12:16 AM)mofo Wrote:  

(01-26-2012 11:50 PM)Amour Fou Wrote:  

(01-26-2012 09:27 PM)mofo Wrote:  I'm speaking from experience.

Do not get into a serious, committed, monogamous long term relationship before you've decided to settle down forever.

I'm curious about what made you bring this up to us.

I was reading some old emails from my ex.

I felt that I have to share my advice on this topic with the forum.
If even one person benefits from this advice then it was worth it to post it.

Hah! I was thinking about this today too because I had my buddy text my ex to get my boxing gloves and headgear back.

Post: #11

(01-26-2012 09:27 PM)mofo Wrote:  I'm speaking from experience.

Do not get into a serious, committed, monogamous long term relationship before you've decided to settle down forever.

Talking about kicking in an open door.

Post: #12

Well this is a recurring theme without a doubt.

My question is, why the hell are you reading old emails? Stop torturing yourself man!

Post: #13

(01-27-2012 04:37 AM)Fisto Wrote:  Well this is a recurring theme without a doubt.

My question is, why the hell are you reading old emails? Stop torturing yourself man!

You're right. I did that for 2 minutes, then I stopped.

Post: #14

(01-27-2012 09:04 AM)mofo Wrote:  

(01-27-2012 04:37 AM)Fisto Wrote:  Well this is a recurring theme without a doubt.

My question is, why the hell are you reading old emails? Stop torturing yourself man!

You're right. I did that for 2 minutes, then I stopped.

To remind yourself & become aware of bad patterns .. to avoid now??

Post: #15

(01-30-2012 05:08 AM)xmlenigma Wrote:  

(01-27-2012 09:04 AM)mofo Wrote:  

(01-27-2012 04:37 AM)Fisto Wrote:  Well this is a recurring theme without a doubt.

My question is, why the hell are you reading old emails? Stop torturing yourself man!

You're right. I did that for 2 minutes, then I stopped.

To remind yourself & become aware of bad patterns .. to avoid now??

Yes.

Post: #16

True words.

I can take it a step further and say if your in a LTR and you break up because your not ready to settle down, don't go running back as soon as you get a bit lonely or because you freak out about being single again. Those "caged animal" feelings are only going to come back and come back even stronger.

Hell I joined this forum back in 2009 after the first break up of a LTR, then had a massive freak out and went back to her and didn't look at this site again for ages. Now we've broken up for good and I couldn't be happier doing what needs to be done before any man should settle down.

Post: #17

My father, very much the old-school alpha, once said (and I quote), "Son, don't ever trust a woman with anything important. If I wouldn't trust a child to manage my money, why would I trust wife's name removed?"

As harsh as it sounds, it's true. Women are, by and large, irrational and overly emotional. They're like 13-year-olds. I'd advise anyone considering an LTR with a woman to look at her mother (window into the future), look at her mental history, and think long and hard.

Post: #18

Im gonna chime in.... I just got out of a 8 year LTR (i was cheating thru out the realtionship) But she was my best friend, extremley hot an good in bed, cooked, cleaned made bank, let me do whatever i wanted..... But still those lil flings on the side i thought was what life was all about an i thought id have way more of them if i was single (not really the case!!) So we are broke up an over an im okish with that im ready to be single an slay trolls an what not....

But in 10 years when im done bangin randoms an wanna settle down am i gonna kick myself for what i gave up to bang random hookers? I fear the answer is yes......

Post: #19

(01-31-2012 01:44 PM)Cr33pin Wrote:  Im gonna chime in.... I just got out of a 8 year LTR (i was cheating thru out the realtionship) But she was my best friend, extremley hot an good in bed, cooked, cleaned made bank, let me do whatever i wanted..... But still those lil flings on the side i thought was what life was all about an i thought id have way more of them if i was single (not really the case!!) So we are broke up an over an im okish with that im ready to be single an slay trolls an what not....

But in 10 years when im done bangin randoms an wanna settle down am i gonna kick myself for what i gave up to bang random hookers? I fear the answer is yes......

Bro, I've seen you post this or variations several times. I can tell its something that's really bothering you. The truth is, you may have had a special relationship but you didn't have a special girl. There are plenty of girls out there that are amazing in bed that you will have a special connection with. If I had to guess, you were banging chicks that weren't as hot as your girl, you just wanted to nail them because they were different from your LTR and now you're worried you won't get better.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking the best is behind you, there's no reason to think that. Let's say she was a one in a billion type of chick, don't worry! You still have 5 more of her wondering around ; )

Post: #20

Thanks Fisto, i actually talked to her on the phone tonight for a few hours. it was supposed to be about her taking the cats an such as im leaving the country, but we bull shitted for a while. The more i talk to her the more i realize we are surely over a even if we did get back together it wouldnt work. Im just getting more an more excited about leaving the country an moving on with my life