Post: #1

Here I post about my approaches so that I can get your advice.

So, I traveled (alone) to Spain for Christmas.
I went to a castle with a fantastic view. I was taking photos and a lone girl was sitting looking at the vista. I was thinking of approaching her when she asked me for a napkin. I searched and gave her one.
Me: Where are you from?
Her -Italy but I live here.
: It's great to live in Barcelona. I'm just visiting for Christmas.
-Christmas greetings.
: Thank you! to you too. Could you take a photo of me?
She did.
Are you a student?
- No I work here.

She was not beautiful but for an isolated guy like me that shouldn't be a problem. However the vista was weighing heavier than her. The place was closing in 2 hours. Yes, two long hours but I was anxious to look around. One reason that I am not very sociable is that I have a lot of tension inside . (This is different from social anxiety).
I took some more photos while being close to her. I thought that would also work as "cat and string theory" to her. [This is one thing I'm good at!] I thought I would tell her that she must have seen all in Barcelona however I'd like to see around the castle.
As a part of my dumbness I didn't think, at that momemnt, that I could have told her "Hey, do you want to sit here all the afternoon? I think the view from the top is more spectacular."

But when I turned back to her she was wearing her earphones so I swallowed what I wanted to say. So I went on, anxious about exploring the place. Another reason that I'm not very social is that people are not that real to me. (Have you heard of "derealization"? But of course people feel real when they are annoying, which is the case most of the time.) After walking some distance and taking some more photos I thought "I have two more hours for taking photos and haven't I been looking for an opportunity to hit on a girl all along"? But she was no longer there. Me, son of a bitch. I spend the rest of my time enjoying the vista and watching the couples.

Post: #2

First of all, Merry Christmas.
Second: Don't be so hard on yourself.
This one social interaction is a drop in the bucket, a crumb in the bread bin.
Each day, each year, stronger and stronger. Anything is possible

Post: #3

@penisofgod

I think you might be spacing out your approaches too much, you should consider making a discipline out of it, at your own pace.

Say x approaches a week, and try and stick with it.

For what you write, you seem to approach girls during the day when you seemingly run into them. You should try making a more conscious effort to be in places where there are plenty of girls you can approach, and not simply hope to run into them.

Do you go out at night at all? Hit some bars, somewhere you feel comfortable? Those are places you should consider going regularly, for there will be more girls to approach than just running into them randomly during the day.

Keep on practicing your conversations, be more concerned with actually saying/talking about something than being coherent and go for the number nevertheless, just for the practice.

happy hunting

Post: #4

OK, I try to approach more often [although I don't write about all my approaches here]. And no, I don't go to bars. I go to bed early. (Nerd!) But I can/should go out on Saturday nights.
I'm curious. Is the Game just about the bar/club scene? Am I the only one here who approaches random girls in the day?

Today I was sitting next to a girl in the plane. I didn't want to "open" her because she looked so young. However she kept talking to her friends who were sitting in the next row even though there was an empty seat in that row. I asked her why she didn't sit next to her friends. Her English was not so good. I talked to her some. She was 18 and her family had moved to Spain recently. I thought I'd be like a pervert if I try to number close a girl that young. (I'm 31.) There were some AFC reasons too.

Post: #5

There are plenty of guys that game during the day, plenty that do it exclusively, over here in the forum included.

I just think that night game, in bars etc, is good for some hardcore practice, as people go there with the intent of hooking up, and approaches can be less spaced out. It might make your learning curve rise faster, that is why I reccomend it.

It might do you good to try it out some time. You don't need to go party frenzy like some people here (myself included) that go out 3-4+ times a week, but it is an idea you might want to slowly incorporate in your routine, say 2-4 times a month initially. Things might progress faster.

Feeling like a pervert or a creep is something that slowly gets rooted out of your system. I find myself nowadays doing things with girls, being pushy, aggressive, trying for the bang in the same night... things that a while ago would make me feel creepy. Nowadays, as I don't find it creepy, they don't also. It is all in your head.

Go for the number, just for the practice. Crash and burn till you feel comfortable with it.

Post: #6

Thanks for the advice. I did a quick browsing of some of the bars here. Most of them have a small interior with most of the clients sitting at the tables outside. Doesn't seem very suitable for approaching (taken into account that I'm solo).

Is there anybody here familiar with (or living in) Nantes?


Today I was in a cafe deep in thought (my work is theoretical research) when I saw a girl outside who was my classmate in French class. I waived at her and we talked a little. She had told me before that her life here was "sad" which gave me good clues. At that time I didn't manage to get her contact info because of being a bit slow. Not so different this time. Firstly I was taken by surprise and secondly she was standing in the doorway when talking to me and I was concerned that cold air was coming inside. Self consciousness and excessive consideration which are beta traits. Shortly after she left I realized i wanted her contact info.

Post: #7

I don't know what to do with her. She is a Korean girl attending the language course. I make my way to home longer after the class to talk to her. We have meaningful conversation which is about emotions sometimes. She says she has a boyfriend back in Korea. Not very motivated for # closing her as I see her twice a week. Last time I asked if she'd seen the 3D Star Wars movie. She wasn't interested (although I didn't explicitly ask her out). She seems to be a nerd (like myself!)

I wanted very much to go kino last time but was afraid that I may disgrace myself.

Post: #8

(02-14-2012 04:00 PM)penisofgod Wrote:  I don't know what to do with her. She is a Korean girl attending the language course. I make my way to home longer after the class to talk to her. We have meaningful conversation which is about emotions sometimes. She says she has a boyfriend back in Korea. Not very motivated for # closing her as I see her twice a week. Last time I asked if she'd seen the 3D Star Wars movie. She wasn't interested (although I didn't explicitly ask her out). She seems to be a nerd (like myself!)

I wanted very much to go kino last time but was afraid that I may disgrace myself.

Hello,
I think you are worrying way too much about the situation. My opinion on the subject is that you should explicitly try to take her out, if you really like her (despite theoretical boyfriend back in Korea). If she's interested, she will take your offer, if not you carry on to a different one. Always remember this when questioning if you should or shouldn't do something:
If you don't try you will NEVER know...

Post: #9

Is almost funny how you can just pick out the trolls by their username. Not saying these guys are but usually a ridiculous name or one with many numbers is a sign on the wall.

Post: #10

(02-16-2012 02:03 PM)Neil Skywalker Wrote:  Is almost funny how you can just pick out the trolls by their username. Not saying these guys are but usually a ridiculous name or one with many numbers is a sign on the wall.

You caught us!!!