Post: #1

I know we have a few threads about this already, but I was looking for some basic information about how you should get started on sites like POF, Okcupid, etc. I'm gonna be broke for the next month or two so I really can't go out and spend money drinking so I figured I would try these sites out. I've already noticed that average attractiveness level of the girls on these sites is at least 2 or 3 points lower than what I'd find walking around outside. I'm also pretty sure that the girls who are actually attractive are getting swamped with hundred of messages a day, so they're pretty much a lost cause. I added a poll because I'm already feeling like this may be a dead end, but I'll give it a shot for awhile.

I'd be interested in information about how to get started, what techniques work, what behaviors are a waste of time, and what percentage success rate you should expect. I know it's lower than in person game.

I know some of the old posts about this topic have some good information, so if you remember anything specific you contributed, please link to the specific post and not just the whole thread.

Post: #2

I think it's a waste if someone just spams "hi" or "u wanna cyber" over and over, but unfortunately that's exactly what most people are doing there. Many girls there are quite dull to talk to, and it can sometimes disappoint greatly. But overall, it costs so little (i.e. no money and little time) to run some online game, that getting even one bang from it makes it a nice option to keep around. I still haven't had any success, but I live in a town with only a few users, and maybe less than 100 total in my country.
(talking mainly about OKCupid here)

Post: #3

It's as much a lost cause as not going out and talking to hot girls just because there are other guys out. That is where game comes in. You have to set yourself apart.

Post: #4

(11-20-2011 12:55 PM)Gmac Wrote:  It's as much a lost cause as not going out and talking to hot girls just because there are other guys out. That is where game comes in. You have to set yourself apart.

I know you've written about this topic in some other threads. What do you think I should be doing to get started? Just link me if you already have a good post somewhere.

Post: #5

...

Post: #6

http://theprivateman.wordpress.com/2011/...rt-primer/

Post: #7

Dont do this:
/thread-8169.html

Post: #8

Online game, if done right, has a better success rate and will save you money. Its only a waste of time if you approach it halfassedly and expect it to fail.

Chef In Jeans
A culinary website for men

Post: #9

i think online dating is a waste of time if you dont already know her in real life

considering theres millions of beta males online who want the same thing,
youll only be one in a million in a fat chicks date menu, think about that, and
all your game will fall down to copy/paste, and theres no game like real game.

plus better quality girls are not gonna be on the online market, why would a
sexy chick be doing in an online dating site, that should set an alarm by itself.

i dont think being on budget is an excuse, you can meet girls anywhere,
it doesnt have to be a night club in my opinion, you should try day game.

Post: #10

(11-20-2011 08:32 PM)StraightMackin Wrote:  i think online dating is a waste of time if you dont already know her in real life

considering theres millions of beta males online who want the same thing,
youll only be one in a million in a fat chicks date menu, think about that, and
all your game will fall down to copy/paste, and theres no game like real game.

plus better quality girls are not gonna be on the online market, why would a
sexy chick be doing in an online dating site, that should set an alarm by itself.

i dont think being on budget is an excuse, you can meet girls anywhere,
it doesnt have to be a night club in my opinion, you should try day game.

Of course you are welcome to your opinion, but don't talk out of your ass when you obviously have no idea what you're talking about.

You're never going to know a girl in real life first with online dating. That's the point.

Online dating is just another of many venues to meet women. The quality is there in major cities, it just requires different methods to get good results. It also puts you straight into the date setting unless your online game is tight enough that you're going straight to her place (or her to yours).

There's the preparation aspect of online game, and then there's the real world application: What you do once you actually meet her is where real game takes over.

Your mentality is that of someone stuck in the year 2000. Wake up, it's Dating 3.0.

Post: #11

(11-20-2011 08:32 PM)StraightMackin Wrote:  online dating is a waste of time if you dont already know her in real life

WTF? Are you suggesting that if you knew a woman in real life, then you might contact her online for a date instead of just calling or meeting her? You must have never had even one online date, much less an online seduction.

You probably don't believe in using Amazon, Ebay, or Google either. You can always buy books in a store and search things in a library.

Post: #12

(11-20-2011 10:34 PM)kimleebj Wrote:  

(11-20-2011 08:32 PM)StraightMackin Wrote:  online dating is a waste of time if you dont already know her in real life

WTF? Are you suggesting that if you knew a woman in real life, then you might contact her online for a date instead of just calling or meeting her? You must have never had even one online date, much less an online seduction.

You probably don't believe in using Amazon, Ebay, or Google either. You can always buy books in a store and search things in a library.

Hey Bay- Bay you lookin fine yo! Let me git dat e-mail

Post: #13

A month ago, I went out on a Saturday to my usual haunts and didn't pull. Got home at 4:30am, went online, chat w a girl I've never before spoken to, we're fucking within the hour.

This is a fluke, but if it weren't for online stuff, I wouldn't have had the option.

Post: #14

Getting back to the OP, here's my two cents:

1. Playful teasing in your message is what will separate you from the pack. But don't be a moron and tease about something the girl's likely to be sensitive, or else you'll get read the riot act.

2. No matter how innocuous you think your message was, a certain portion of girls are incredibly angry for no reason and are going to take whatever you say the wrong way. Ironically if you turned to online dating to avoid the risk of rejection in person, you're going to find out that girls are nastier when hidden behind the internet. If you never get a hostile response, you probably aren't teasing enough.

Post: #15

A few things I've been pondering:

1. Do you guys think it's best to just send out as many messages as possible? Or does it get to a point where you're sacrificing quality? I'm thinking when I have the time I should just spend a half hour and send out like 20 messages on nights I don't have anything else going on.

2. Has anyone had any success with this "meet me" feature on POF? Last week I said yes to pretty much every girl that came up on there for like an hour and it generated absolutely no response at all. I think I need to stick to messaging.

3. Are girls who already viewed your profile without any provocation more DTF, receptive, or generally easier pickings?

The stuff that Gmac and Private Man posted is really helpful in getting started, so I recommend that everyone else check out those links if you haven't already.

Post: #16

(11-23-2011 06:00 PM)Vitriol Wrote:  A few things I've been pondering:

1. Do you guys think it's best to just send out as many messages as possible? Or does it get to a point where you're sacrificing quality? I'm thinking when I have the time I should just spend a half hour and send out like 20 messages on nights I don't have anything else going on.

2. Has anyone had any success with this "meet me" feature on POF? Last week I said yes to pretty much every girl that came up on there for like an hour and it generated absolutely no response at all. I think I need to stick to messaging.

3. Are girls who already viewed your profile without any provocation more DTF, receptive, or generally easier pickings?

The stuff that Gmac and Private Man posted is really helpful in getting started, so I recommend that everyone else check out those links if you haven't already.

I used to play the numbers game, now I have a system. Much of it is in what I linked, the rest will be included in my book.

Post: #17

Btw. I am a tech freelancer currently working for a client in the online-dating industry. While privacy laws and policies prevent us from reading people's messages, sometimes we do have to take a look for debugging reasons. While I won't post some of the ridiculousness I've read I'd say that the average girl will reply to about 10% of messages and my personal conclusion is that it's based on looks. My tip is to put up some good, interesting photos.

Another personal opinion: These websites make a ton of $$$ and it seems like every second guy is on there. If that is true, then it's almost as if everyone is doing it, and then it can't be good for us. Also, the women I like to date are not on there. (Ok, I've seen one hot, rich, young girl that I had the pleasure to date some time ago on my client's site. I guess she needed a hit of validation..)

Finally: An interesting place to read about online-dating is: http://blog.okcupid.com/ Nice stats etc. (Looks like you shouldn't smile and look into the camera on your picture: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-...-pictures/ )

Some guys here seem to have a lot of success online though. I'm not one of them (I tried), so it can't hurt to try.

Post: #18

These sites really can be a parade of horribles. Mostly single mothers expecting you to "be a man" and raise some other dude's kid or fatties that no one would want to be seen in public with. The girls who don't fall into one of those categories usually have such ridiculous shit in their profiles it's easy to see why they need to resort to online dating.

Post: #19

First...there is NO stigma attached to working online. Those days are past.

I don't disagree that there are a decent amount of fuglies and fatties out there, but don't assume that there aren't attractive women on these sites. Plenty of attractive women complain about not meeting decent men in their daily lives and the circles they move in, and are "tired of the bar scene." Those women start dipping their toes in the online world. If you're looking for models, no, you won't find them online. But there are lots of chicks out there looking.

Other posters noted that there are lots of lame-ass betas online, coming at chicks with weak messages. This is true. Don't be that guy. Put some real work into your profile. Give them a taste of who you are (or are pretending to be...HA HA!). Have some good, interesting pics. Some pics of you with other chicks chillin' are good. Travel pics are good. Activity pics are good. Just make sure they're quality, and no pics wit red-eye or out of focus. Write in clear sentences with punctuation, and show some humor.

Those "meet me" (I'm on Tagged, but I guess other sites have a similar feature) features are how I scout for what I want. You find a pic you like, open the profile and see what's in there. I don't click "YES" on a pic before I look at the profile and see if she's got anything other than looks going on. If she has a private profile, then maybe you'll click on it and see if she responds. If I like the profile, I may not click yes at all. I'll just go ahead and write her a message based on what I see in the profile. You don't know what chicks are really looking for, so there are no guarantees that she'll respond. All you can do is put your best out there and see who bites. But JUST clicking yes is too passive. The same with winks if she has a public profile. I only do the more passive stuff if her profile is private and she's limited the ways she can be contacted.

I first start goofing around online in the mid-90s I think. The first online pussy I got came from the MSN chat rooms (when they were free). I started chatting with a couple of regulars in a particular room, and I ended up banging a married chick in Cali for YEARS. Smashin'. At the time, I didn't really see it as gaming. I started clicking with this chick, and she was open and looking for "something." I told her I came out there a lot because I have a cousin and a lot of friends. She was open for a meet, and I took it from there. But then I realized there was a PLETHORY of pussy out there, just searching to get stuck. So then I started hitting sites actively looking for chicks, and I've been doing it ever since. First I just started looking at states/cities I wanted to visit, but then realized the WORLD was open for me to do the same thing.

I have a good friend that STILL thinks online is weak, and that somehow it's a "replacement" for meeting women in person. I try to explain that it doesn't replace anything - it's merely a first step that actually makes those next steps EASIER. You do the whole "getting to know you" out of the way, build certain comfort, and when you actually meet you aren't total strangers trying to figure certain things out. And if you know how to build attraction, you advance to phone, webcam/videocalling, etc. so by the time you meet, it's time to fuck. Everytime I tell him about a chick I've met and fucked from online, he says, "I have to give you credit man...I don't know how you do that. I wouldn't do it." And I'm thinking to myself, "You keep THINKING AND TALKING about meeting chicks and fucking...I'll just go ahead and put in some work and BUST NUTS WORLDWIDE."

Post: #20

Thanks Timoteo, there are a lot of guys who just don't get it (mostly older men). There are plenty of reasons for regular, non-crazy good looking girls to get into online dating. If you disagree with this then you probably aren't spending enough time around them. I live with two.