Post: #1

This isn't about SNL tactics, this is for dudes like me who prefer the mini or LTRs.

Most "dating" follows the "three date kate" rule, where some dinners, chit chat and a long walk on the beach is required before getting into panties.

Occasionally I strike a "need to be friends first" or "take it slow" woman who tries to hold out for 4-12 dates. You never know when them panties are going to drop - and there is always the risk they never will...

Looking for tactics you have used to lower the date count or turn this around.

All women are different, and of course it depends on your SMV differential.

I don't want to hear the "next and date other girls" response - thats a given. This is a game forum, and I want tips on tactics to get the bang from these women.


I've tried:

Being distant and uninterested - this works on some, but some see this as proof you are a "player" and double down on extending the no pussy period as a counter punishment.

Setting up the burning platform - a special event that I know she is really wants to go, but the only option is out of town accommodation. This is a gem

Psyops - asking her what her "issue" is with intimacy... making out she is "not open" or "has baggage" and that I can't be with a woman like that.... Sometimes works.

Soldiering on - Sometimes the pussy is worth the long hard grind, but you need to set a limit, 4-6 dates is mine.


What is your experiences and tips and tactics?

Post: #2

1. Looking for tactics you have used to lower the date count or turn this around.

Re: Next her and date other girls. If she makes you wait, you are not that attractive to her. You might be attractive but at the appropriate moment (she has another guy). Next her, keep her number and she may look for you in some months, it happens.

2. I don't want to hear the "next and date other girls" response - thats a given. This is a game forum, and I want tips on tactics to get the bang from these women.

Re: Next her and date other girls. If she already has you on the "waiting list", she is getting a qualitative and quantitative benefit from your time and attention, while you are wasting your time and attention on a woman that has already selected you for sentimental benefits, not sexual ones. Unless you receive qualitative and quantitative benefits from being with her in a non-sexual relationship.

3. I've tried:

Being distant and uninterested - this works on some, but some see this as proof you are a "player" and double down on extending the no pussy period as a counter punishment.

Re: Next her and date other girls. No pussy and punishment are for the several dozens of betas that are providing her with free attention, time and validation. If she rejects your advances for being a player, she might also accept the advances of other guy the following day, where she liked that he is a player.

Modern dating is a numbers game. Always be ready and move on.

4. Soldiering on - Sometimes the pussy is worth the long hard grind, but you need to set a limit, 4-6 dates is mine.

Re: No pussy is worth a long, hard grind. Some pussy you might wait, where you are attractive but she had logistical issues or where she was with his other main guy. In such case, you will know by the second date, and then she might search for you in some weeks/months.

The same woman that may put one guy on the freezer and receive a dozen dinner, movies or other dates, is the same woman that can and will fuck one guy within the first 3 hours of meeting him.

Post: #3

I think the key to making it happen sooner is just having the right dating logistics.

If I am going on multiple dates and we end up isolated in a place conductive for sex (my place) then it's bound to happen sooner or later.

I've been told the "take it slow" phrase and I usually ignore it or acknowledge without making a big deal out of it, eventually when we are making out and they are excited their rational decision takes a backseat.

I think the only scenario where this is really hard to overcome is when she refuses to come to my place under any reason. (Too smart to be "fooled" by that).
In that scenario I would try making her feel more comfortable around me and letting her know we can hang out at my place and how it doesn't mean we need to fuck (Of course I would still escalate there and apply LMR tactics)

If she refuses to come to my place after 3-4 dates then I'm honestly lost on what to do with the girl other than nexting her.

The one thing that I have come across from talking to girls online is the ones who look for "friendship", I just scratch my head and move on. Perhaps someone could enlighten me on what these girls "looking for friendship" are actually thinking when they say that.

Someone more experienced with this should chime in.

Post: #4

I hate to break it for you , op . You are not going to get the answers you are hoping for .
90% of forum members will tell next her , you are not her priority,.., etc . They Just don’t seem to understand that some women really want it to take slowly , even if they dig you .

Post: #5

(04-23-2019 06:05 PM)Ternarydemonite Wrote:  2. I don't want to hear the "next and date other girls" response - thats a given. This is a game forum, and I want tips on tactics to get the bang from these women.

Re: Next her and date other girls. If she already has you on the "waiting list", she is getting a qualitative and quantitative benefit from your time and attention, while you are wasting your time and attention on a woman that has already selected you for sentimental benefits, not sexual ones. Unless you receive qualitative and quantitative benefits from being with her in a non-sexual relationship.

Ha I told you I don't want that advice, it's a given. I was looking for quality player tips on overcoming the frame of "take it slow". Not abundance theory.

True abundance is converting the high SMV women that have "take it slow" frame - not just giving up and banging quick, easy, junk food, low value women.

You don't know much about women (or date only a certain type) if you think all women will let you choke and anal on the first date "if they are interested", or have a "waiting list" of dudes to choke and anal them.

Some women actually want to take it slow, with a single candidate, and need time and comfort to work up to the bang. These are generally the more classy and hygienic women I prefer to the type of women you are chasing...

So like I said, I don't want "next her and bang a slutty tinder 5" advice - I want tips on getting past the barriers from the pros.

Post: #6

(04-23-2019 06:36 PM)Anchor Man Wrote:  I hate to break it for you , op . You are not going to get the answers you are hoping for .
90% of forum members will tell next her , you are not her priority,.., etc . They Just don’t seem to understand that some women really want it to take slowly , even if they dig you .

You got proven right real quick :-)

Post: #7

Is she really into you and attracted but wants to take the physical slow?

Or is she unsure and wants to take it slow until she decides if she likes you enough?

Post: #8

Why do you assume SNL tactics are different from guys who prefer mini LTRs?

Post: #9

I have one of these right now.

Super hot, but she's a FOB from Iran. It's been four or five dates so far and absolutely zero.

I asked her what we are, she said: "people on planet Earth." I pretty much mentally nexted her right there.

She's gotta give me something, I'm shelling out too much time and money for that kind of answer.

Post: #10

(04-23-2019 06:09 PM)Tinder Scientist Wrote:  The one thing that I have come across from talking to girls online is the ones who look for "friendship", I just scratch my head and move on. Perhaps someone could enlighten me on what these girls "looking for friendship" are actually thinking when they say that.

I guess they say that to rationalize for themselves to not being a slut while being registered on a dating site. I cant really tell from experience but I assume those are amongst the most hungry girls for cock. I think I met once a girl with the same line in her bio and banged her the first date. They will most likely use that excuse though if they dont like you enough to bang. "Im not that kind of girl. Just looking for friendship"


I agree with the thread opener, some girls do look for getting to know somebody before having sex. Those girl you usually dont find in clubs or tinder. And I again assume this heavily depends on where you live. While you will find less of those girls in America or Great Britain, they are more likely to be found in more conservative places. Of course you can never watch into a girls mind and some might just play the Madonna, but Im also pretty sure, that people on this forum who have experienced a lot are shocked about behaviour of girls that theyve seen or heard of. It needs to be considered though, that you most likely experience extreme cases, while this is not a mirror of the whole society. Of course you meet sick girls in parties with loads of alcohol, but Im sure in most cultures there still exist "good girls". They have just become much more rare and thus are extremely difficult to track. Chances would be in day-game or social activities.

I have dated a German girl f.e. for 2-3 months a couple of years back, she was member of a Christian society and she was down to fuck after approx. 6-8 dates, but wouldnt do it before I agree to be in a relationship with her. Never done it though, as I knew her through a good friend and didnt intend to stay with her for long, so I didnt get the bang in the end, but heard that she was left heart-broken for longer period from my friend. I had a similiar experience previously with a Latvian girl, who came across conservative. Escalation proceeded really slow over dates, but it proceeded. After date 6 or so we had heavy make-outs, foreplay and slept at each others places. She wouldnt give the bang though. I realised that she was down to fuck after the next 1 or 2 dates, but her a-sexual behaviour turned me off eventually plus I got to know her as a person and I didnt see me banging her just for the sake of the bang. You shouldnt bang those chicks if you dont intend to stay, because this is exactly how sluts become sluts. So I broke up and from her response I could tell she was heart-broken.

Post: #11

If you're already spinning plates and getting pussy, and she seems cool/quality/genuine and not just stringing you along, why not see what happens? Might mix things up and give you a puzzle to crack, so to speak.

For me personally, I would do 3-4 dates at the most, IF she is hot and has quality traits. Any more than that and it's just dumb, there's plenty of girls that are down for SNL or fuck on the 2nd date.

Post: #12

OP, what do you want?

I know you aren't looking for SNLs, but mini short term relationships are completely different from LTRs.

Do you want flings, or do you want a LTR/wife?

Post: #13

I'm starting to become 'team rat' even before getting the player phase out of my system. So I definitely can see where rat is coming from. First of all, I'm assuming that we are talking about what some people on here call post wall, single moms.

Secondly, I think you should persue these women, but you should also be banging other women, and or at least working other leads.

Thirdly, there has to be some physical contact eg. Ideally bj, but at least making out with some groping.

Fourthly, you should keep costs low. You are not seeking to be a provider. So no dinner dates. The trouble with dinner dates is that you open the foot in the door technique, and set a precedent.

It's a gamble. You will try to convince yourself that because she is accepting more dates that you have a chance. You will also subconsciously think that she is higher value because of this. You will be also get emotionally invested.

The truth of the matter is that you will probably unwittingly end up giving her reasons for her to disqualify you, but she will likely rationalize keeping you on the hook.

Women tend to forgive men's transgressions after sleeping with you, but not before.

You are older and don't like casual sex, so this puts you in a tough spot. Good luck.

Post: #14

(04-23-2019 10:22 PM)Conquistador Wrote:  Women tend to forgive men's transgressions after sleeping with you, but not before.

One of the truest of truisms

Post: #15

Is there a way to "accelerate" the process so she gets comfy with you more quickly? I don't have the patience for the long and slow game for girls that are taking longer than usual for me. I would wonder if one can speed things up and do mini-dates? An example would be like to to the gym together, grab a quick bite, make out, and then you would dash out to go do something else solo.

I would count that as a "date" even if it was only 3 hours in duration. It anchors something within whatever you are trying to build with her, builds more comfort, but doesn't follow the typical "friend" pattern.

Could that be a strategy? I have done the gym thing once and I followed it up with a Gallary Opening the next week. Both activeities were 3 hours but I kept things fun, active, and quick to not fall into "friend" traps.

Post: #16

(04-23-2019 11:07 PM)nek Wrote:  

(04-23-2019 10:22 PM)Conquistador Wrote:  Women tend to forgive men's transgressions after sleeping with you, but not before.

One of the truest of truisms

Nothing is final until the deal closes.

Post: #17

(04-23-2019 06:41 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  I was looking for quality player tips on overcoming the frame of "take it slow".

In my experience women can only really get away with "take it slow" as long as they enforce a strict physical boundary. Once actual makeout starts (and it should if it's supposed to be "dating") they will become putty in the hands of a guy who knows how to work it. Since she'll be reluctant to come over your place, escalate in the car.

If you're having problems with physical escalation, please explain how you've been going about it. It's a pretty deep topic.

Post: #18

If she is making you wait, you're probably not very attractive to her or she is not afraid to lose you or she doesn't feel like she found something amazing.

You should aim to bang every girl as fast as possible, see SNL. Successful seductions happen very quickly.

Otherwise you're getting friendzoned, and good luck getting out

Edit: If this could help, I suggest you date women via text message i.e. spend a lot of time chatting by sms everyday over an extended period in order to do the get to know you phase, this means constant texting over a 1-2 week period and then run SDB or SNL or SDB recipe.
This saves you from going on excessive dates and gets the girl prepared emotionally if she is a slow grind type. Push to meet fast for bang but if you sense she is a slow grind, date her over sms, don't do excessive dates with her, it costs time and money you should be using on other girls

Post: #19

It's usually a sign of disinterest (as opposed to not interested) and she's still figuring out if you're worth it or not.

No matter what, you should be spiking emotions.

If you're going on other dates or living your life, I would send her a pic with 'you should be here'.

Anything humourous with inside jokes but most importantly, include a pretty girl in the pic.

This is your litmus test to see if you're wasting your time or not. Any semi-interested girl will pick up the bait.

From there, you can spin a story, spike emotions and then go a bit cold for a day or two or take a while to respond before you hit her with a date.

On the date, you can siphon out a bit about other dates or whatever but always from the screening frame instead of player frame. Really, it's the same shit, it's just how present it.

It's the 'nail technician' phenomenon. Girls present themselves as nail technicians, not toe nail cutters; well you're a complicated guy looking for some fun with a suitable girl, not a player looking to fuck multiple girls (even though they can be reduced to the same thing).

From the above...
- push pull
- spike her emotions
- showing you're pretty cool and other girls (even hotter) make time for you and you make time for them
- you're human and not just a player i.e. you have fun and sex happens

Ensure the attraction is increasing as is comfort. There's a pace to this whole thing and it sounds like the pace is off.

Comfort is important when you're about to bang. Attraction is important to giving her incentive to open up. This is common knowledge so place this in your timeline and figure out how to get the desired result.

Fear of loss, pre-selection etc. basically ramps up attraction but you need to then bring her in and make her comfortable with 'giving it up'.

If this sounds like work, it's because it is and this is why the most common answer is NEXT.

I would just tell her straight up, 'I dig you, I really do but I think we are better suited as friends.'

An interested/competitive girl will ask why. If not, she's not interested -> another litmus test.

When she asks why, say you've been on some dates with another girl and she seems really cool.

You decide if you want to use it in conjunction with the previous option.

Friendzoning them before they do (when you see it going that way), usually works by challenging their ego.

Post: #20

I have a fair bit of experience dating these women, as I have the same preference as the OP. You need to be on your tightest Game including logistics. You need to be chilled (for real) and not at all in a rush to get physical with them (it actually happens way faster than you or they think). You need to convey this attitude that they know you are in no rush, but you are gonna fuck them well and own them in ways they can never dream of. And most of all, do not take their rule seriously, because it means nothing when they are highly interested in you.

Exhibit A of this is my wife. Growing up, she kept telling her family that for her future husband, she wanted to get to know him as friends first for around five years, then date for two or three years, and finally marry. She was a virgin too. Well, there was never any "friends first" stage, she was head over heels into me right away, we got physical very quickly, and by the time we announced our engagement, her family asked her in actual shock "what about your 5-year rule?" She just laughed. Now we are married with a newborn baby, and we're only almost 4 years in, well ahead of her 5-years-then-3-more-years plan!

As for how you game a woman like this, you simply spend time with her as if you two have been dating for 6+ months. I take her on long walks, cheap / zero cost dates, and other activities I'd like to do with a LTR. It's the same Comfort Game tactics that PUAs use on their quick bangs, called venue bouncing, which creates the illusions of you two having known each other for a long time. However, you are doing this for real, over a longer period, and not an illusion. You are seeing how she fits into your life, and she can imagine being your woman. You want to see if she follows your lead and submits to you outside the bedroom. If she does, the bedroom activities will quickly follow. If she doesn't, it will never happen, next her.

One of my very early dates with my wife was telling her that I'd pick her up after work. She asked, where are we going? I said "it'll be an adventure", and she complied without knowing anything about my plan. All I did was walking with her around the city to fun spots to observe people, activities, and talking to each other. I touched and guided her around like we were already in a relationship for a while. We had some cheap sushi and went to a lovely park to make out under the night lights. She still raves and gushes about that date now. She loves that I just lead, and didn't ask.

A big advantage you can use while taking it "slow" and bringing her to your favourite activities is that if you've been running your social Game right, you two will run into a lot of your social proof i.e other women who are interested in you. When I took my wife to dancing, to certain venues, to markets etc. she could tell there were other women who are very jealous of her. Some came right up to us to flirt with me, on occasions disrupting our dinner or drinks, pretending she's not there. This created a sense of urgency for her to lock me down. However, be careful with this, as you want to convey your values as a desirable man that other women want, not that you are a pussy hound who would bang anything given half the chance.

This type of Game is based on genuine values and genuine connections, it's not for scoring lays fast. It's to identify and get a woman for LTR who has very high interest in you. When it works, you will actually end up getting sex rather fast anyway, because such a woman would not be able to resist a man she's very much into. When it doesn't work, you'll find that usually there is another man (real or fantastical) she is very into whom she can't get, and her so-called "rules" are her way to reject other men so she can stay loyal to that man just in case he changes his mind. I had a woman like that, and I found out through her best friend that she was really into this guy who chose to focus on theology college over her (I think he's a closet fag btw). She was throwing rule after rule at me not to test me, but because she was already emotionally attached to him. There could be other reasons, but at the core is this: she simply has low interest in you. Next.

Post: #21

(04-24-2019 02:14 AM)Noir Wrote:  I would just tell her straight up, 'I dig you, I really do but I think we are better suited as friends.'

An interested/competitive girl will ask why. If not, she's not interested -> another litmus test.

When she asks why, say you've been on some dates with another girl and she seems really cool.

Damn this one is bold, love it.

Post: #22

https://markmanson.net/fuck-yes

Post: #23

Noir by far has the best advice on here.

NOT wanting to hear the truth is pure hamstering and ignoring the obvious.

She ain't that into you.

A woman whose interested will SHOW that she is, she won't tell you to be just friends, or to take it super slow.

This also shows she's got options and she's SHOPPING around, there's obviously higher SMV guys she's hoping to give her pussy to first, and you're in the middle of the que at best.

I've had only ONE case in my entire life that I fucked a girl on the 8th date - we never fucked again either.

A couple of 3 date Kate's, but nothing every beyond that.

The time sink ain't worth the investment, I'm fucking and dating other girls to waste time on a girl who wants to take things slow and be friends.

These are called back burner/slow cooking girls.

You text them from time to time and push pull them to feel them out.

These girls are fillers for time slots you have open and have nothing better to do.

If you're taking it slow or friends with mediocre girls, you've got bigger issues to tackle here.

I can understand if you're aiming for higher quality girls, but usually the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

The longer you go on dates with girls without sex, the lower the probability you're going to actually hookup and date the girl.

Numbers and stats don't lie.


Bottom line is how much time are you willing to invest in a woman who gives you the "let's be friends" "take it slow" runaround?

Post: #24

(04-24-2019 02:14 AM)Noir Wrote:  If you're going on other dates or living your life, I would send her a pic with 'you should be here'.

I got send one of these...turned out was a ponzi scheme...
Something called World Ventures...I had to endure 3 hours of that crap talk ....

   

Post: #25

One of the best girls I've dated recently was a Russian girl who made me wait until the 8th date. I was ok with it because I viewed her as LTR material and was in some ways glad she made me wait. Since our dates were very cheap, like walks in the park and coffee, I didnt mind. If she was demanding fancy dinners I wouldnt have put up with it.
There is definitely some truth to what other posters have said about logistics. If you can get them at your place late and night and drunk it certainly increases your chances greatly.