How do you deal with an increasingly lone wolf lifestyle?

I think lone wolf lifestyles are a product of American culture. Most cultures outside the U.S. are very group-oriented, but there's a culture of aloneness in the states which relates to our hyper-consumerism. Being a lone wolf means you spend more cash on things that would have been done for free by your close friends or family (babysitting, car repairs, helping someone move, etc). Being alone is very good for capitalists, but not so good for you as an individual.

I don't think loneliness is a normal part of being a man, but being able to be alone is if circumstances call for it. A man understands the importance of having allies in a hostile world who he can help and be helped by.

I think men who spend too much time alone and who are too flippant with their friends & family are vulnerable in all sorts of ways.

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(03-14-2019 06:46 AM)marcusdivincenzo Wrote:  Glad I struck a chord with you. It means you must be grappling with these issues too.

1. You are probably not Tesla
2. Even Tesla had friends (eg he was close friends with Mark Twain and others)

Doesn't matter what I am or even what Tesla was. He was just an example of a lone wolf, go for Oliver Heaviside if you thought Tesla was such a bad example of a lone wolf (which he isn't though).
The point is that a few lone wolf guys have probably provided more value to the world than most extroverts all together, who are just constantly around people.

It is wrong to say lone wolf guys don't provide value. I know plenty of nerds who provide a tremendous amount of value for companies and society as a whole. And that's what we've seen in history with computer geeks, engineers and scientists, and entrepreneurs sitting in their basement all days to come up with new ideas that improve the lives of others.

Besides that, I don't think that only a life lived for others is worth living. For some, it can be, but not everyone works the same. Not everyone feels joy by just living their lives through someone else and don't have as much of a need for human connection.

I know some guys who know nothing better than to spend a Friday night alone at home and read an interesting book because they're intellectuals and love intellectual stimulation. Meanwhile, there are other guys who would see more meaning sitting in a sports bar with the lads.

In my early 20's I craved new friends but as I grew older my need has practically vanished since I realize most people are boring and are less interesting than the internet.

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(03-14-2019 01:22 PM)Deepdiver Wrote:  I look back on my life and even though I was at times naive in the ways of women and in my younger years exhibited blue pill white knight tendencies I was a Natural Red Pill in one key area - the moment someone disrespected me I cut them out of my life - and I have built upon that to the point of being a true Red Pill Silver Fox Jedi in life and with women.

The best advice I was ever given was basically the 11th commandment of ancient wisdom; Never intentionally make a mortal enemy of another man or woman and never allow him or her to make a Mortal Enemy out of you. Because if you do - if it takes them their entire lifetime they will eventually even the score with you often at a low point where you may be at your weakest (Health, Legal etc).

The flip side is never allowing anyone to make a mortal enemy out of you EVER - friendship and relationships among acquaintances are fine but the moment they Disrespect you in a way that you would not have disrespected them is time to keep them at arms length and if a serious form of disrespect cut them completely out of your life. I had a good friend who needed to finish a project and borrowed $2k from me years ago and when I needed the cash back told me "I'll give you your money back when I think you are starving to death". I wanted in the worse way to put a 357 Slug between his eyes but decided as much of a backstabbing scumbag he was - bad on me for trusting him and that he was simply not worth a bid in the State Pen. So I cut him out of my life completely and never looked back.

This is doubly so with women - anyone on RVF for any period of time learns the true nature of women and that the only form of control that works with them is Dread game - that you can and will walk off to your next best or better spinning plate the moment they Disrespect you.

So absorb the red pills of wisdom men have shared with you and shake off the nostalgia of the seemingly good times you may thought you have had with leftist blue pill SJW "Friends" and then MAN The Phock UP and Build a life, your own tribe and castle - Home and Family on your terms and pick a woman who NEVER Disrespects you and keep business associates, clients and lifestyle acquaintances at arms length until they prove they are respectful and can be trusted like a team or tribe to get your back.

Anyone who was a fan of the Godfather trilogy remembers Michael ordering the killing of his own brother Fredo for a betrayal. If they violate-they gotta go, simple as that. A lot of Americans (especially Anglos) don't understand this concept as well as immigrant cultures. Even the Mafia, the biggest Italian crooks, would go to jail for life before snitching on their associates.

Regarding money: I always felt the $100-400 range was a perfect price for eliminating a snake out of your life. It sucks losing the money, but I've been able to drop a few weasels for this price and it always felt good that they weren't able to cause more damage.

One of the things I like to do with a thirsty acquaintance: dangle a date of yours that you don't particularly care about and watch to see what they do. If they start hitting on her, adding her on instagram, anything sketchy: perfect. You trade a bitch you don't care about and eliminate one more snake from your life. I've been able to drop two guys with this method and still end up banging the girls.

Another thing to watch-how a friend acts when someone else disrespects you. I've seen guys try to play both sides during a conflict with a woman or an acquaintance-no good. If I've made sacrifices for that person during a friendship, I expect my enemies to go on their shit list. Luckily my experiences have been first world social politics type of situations where the fallout hasn't been too bad. Best to get rid of these types of people before they get closer to you and cost you seriously financially or relationally.

It's funny to observe loyalty across different social classes. As I've gotten older and elevated my social class, the real penalties for disloyalty have gotten smaller. You lose a few hundred bucks or a plate. Guys who grow up with brawls, gangs, and police don't have any patience for sketchy behavior. This is where I developed my ruthlessness towards disloyalty whereas guys from a higher social class almost expect you to tolerate it. Loyalty isn't as much of a necessity in cushier environments as it is in a rough-and-tumble situation where you need to count on your boys in order to survive.

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Relevant to this thread:
https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_walding...happiness/
Key takeaway: Relationships are very important for your wellbeing.

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@Manbeline

I absolutely know what you feel and understand it as I've gone through it myself to some degree.

Most people out there are extremely naive and have their own different habits and ways. I definitely have friends who are more liberal in their views and habits than i am. For instance one is a smoker while the other is a drug user. Even though i dislike both things and think they're bad for me, I don't moralize them or shove my disagreement with their habits down their throats. Likewise, they rarely try and brag to me about how great drugs and cigarettes are. Simply, find a group of people or a few guys with similar or common values. At least those who are open enough to consider new perspectives, or won't be hysterical or silently resentful at you for your views and status.

Another word of personal advice, if you have a friendship group, ABSOLUTELY KEEP ANY WOMEN OUT OF IT.

Any remotely attractive woman is enough to cause petty jealousy and desire among your friends and collapse a solid group. This is exactly what happened to my solid group of high school friends. I'll spare boring you too much. Basically, at least 4 of my friends who were close from their youngest years, fought over and began to viciously hate each other over some semi fat bitch trying to get laid with her. She eventually left the group anyway, after 3 years of hardcore drama. The semi fat bitch even offered to have sex with me at a house party, even though she knew full well that my then closest friend was into her. I rejected out of loyalty and respect for him, although given how things turned out in hindsight, i may as well have gone for the bang. Before she came along, we were literally close and tightly nit that it seemed like nothing could break us apart, those were the good times.

A few years later, I basically split with the same guy, because i got drunk at a house party he was hosting, and told the truth that a bunch of other random guys were trying to sleep with some other thinner girl he was into, as there were at least 2 of them with her, in his room lol. Even though i saved him from getting cucked, he then made up a rumor that i slept with his "girlfriend" because he was too blue pill and beta to understand something like this could actually happen. Our friendship is obviously over now, as all my high school acquaintances now believe this rumor. Even though its not true, the truth doesn't matter when rumors come out. Ironically enough, many people are even praising me for something i didn't even do. I suppose he was a hippy shitlib bugman anyway.

Just get a small group or a few people you chill with occasionally 1-2 times a week. Family is really the most reliable bond that you can have with other human beings. Although sometimes people are stuck with shitty family members. You should try to get or keep in touch with extended family, so cousins (close enough compared to strangers but not too awkward like siblings). If you're some kind of migrant from East Europe or elsewhere in the west, chances are you at least have some extended family in another country and a place you can call home or feel at least a little rooted in.

I personally have exactly that. If you're an Anglo or West Euro, i suppose you're just stuck with what you have or you can either try leave permanently and assimilate into East Europe, Latin America or Asia. Otherwise, listen to all the other guys on the forum actively pursuing on permanently building their lives long term in the West.

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Thank you for all the wisdom. I am sure this will be helpful not only for myself, but for others like me who battle with the change of life that comes from essentially being mentally and financially independent. I also will have to inevitably accept that friends do not exist in reality. Simply passing acquaintances. I lived a huge lie throughout my life, and it is only now that I have to realize it. Fortunately, I am strong willed enough to not have to turn to bad vices or suicide to cope with it. Thank God I never went down that rabbit hole, though in the recesses of my mind, similar thoughts dared to surface.

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(03-18-2019 05:09 PM)Manbeline Wrote:  Thank you for all the wisdom. I am sure this will be helpful not only for myself, but for others like me who battle with the change of life that comes from essentially being mentally and financially independent. I also will have to inevitably accept that friends do not exist in reality. Simply passing acquaintances. I lived a huge lie throughout my life, and it is only now that I have to realize it. Fortunately, I am strong willed enough to not have to turn to bad vices or suicide to cope with it. Thank God I never went down that rabbit hole, though in the recesses of my mind, similar thoughts dared to surface.

Interesting thread.

How much of your lone wolf style of living comes from financial independence vs some kind of independent political or social "red pill" views? There is no need to reveal exact specifics but is your financial independence thinly above the neighbors, like you are in a good job that you won't easily lose, or have made a pile of cash on bitcoin, or inherited money? Or is it serious, awe inspiring amounts of capital which invite so many players and ideas as to open whole worlds of opportunities? Are you pushing yourself for the next level whatever that is? Unfortunately, most of the red pill / alt right areas of focus - while they do contain many, many important truths - are one giant video game or intellectual porn session. The player consumes content and mentally masturbates and messages other players in response to it, while the owners of the game play whackamole against individual players, messages or content they don't approve of. Everyone returns for another jerkoff session the next day but few shut the digital session down to go hammer a nail, or hammer a pussy.

I remember once when I was in jr high, my father gently chided me when I made straight A's for not trying and not putting effort into school. It took me many many years to realize he was right and that putting no effort wasn't an acceptable way to go about things even if the scale used by others (the grades) could be topped with literally zero effort.

Another man doesn't know exactly what you should do but is there a pursuit that matches your red pill values that you can go after next?

The new peer group you seek does exist but it will take a lot more bold failures and successes on your part to gain it's confidence. The invitation will be delicately audible, and you might not hear it if you have too much noise in the background.

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This thread is perhaps the core of being a red pill man, or what being an independent thinking man comes down to.

You can take as many red pills as you want, you can improve your life as much as you want, you can chase truth as much as you want, but eventually - you have to get to a point where you accept what you likely can and cannot change (this includes the people around you, but also obviously the external environment at large).

Every single man reaches this point, and different guys react differently. You can even go in cycles trying different things - but you always end up back at the exact same point.

The more you resist and get angry, the more you sink into the black pill.

Acceptance, I've found, is the key, and then working with what you've got based on that foundation of acceptance.

All men have to figure out what balance of creating change or awareness, and forming personal relationships suits them.

Guys all choose to deal with acceptance in different ways - some guys turn to religion, some get involved in volunteer work, some get involved in their community and sports, some start a family, some get deep into business. Some guys even practice avoidance and go travel, meet lots of different people and girls, and then arrive straight back in the same spot a decade or two decades later as where they were when they left off.

My advice would be:
1) Really take some time to process the world and people around you. Accept it right now as it is.
2) Figure out what is really important to you individually in terms of what you want to do in this world, and how important personal relationships are to you, and in the long term a family.
3) With what you accept the world and people to be, and with what is important to you, come up with short term and long term plans on how you think you can approach life. Reflect on these plans periodically and ask if you are living accordingly to what is important to you, and how your actions are impacting your happiness/fulfillment. You may need to keep adjusting until you find a balance that suits you

A few things I've learnt over the last few years are:

- Every choice has a list of pros and cons. Nothing will be perfect or give you 100% satisfaction. Don't get stuck in that line of thinking though that guys with friends and social connections are doing the right thing. One of my friends like this has admitted to me many time that he regrets not being harder on himself to do more to help society or to pursue worthwhile things, instead of endlessly drinking, going to parties and social events, and doing short term 'dopamine' rush type things... these are often the people that get to 40 and have a mid life crisis.
So, you're damned if you do or don't with almost every decision you make. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

- Things that cause you stress, anxiety, and cause you to be skeptical and negative in the long term only wears you down (it can actually drive you to insanity) and damage your personal relationships. Chasing truth and self improvement is good - but, if you want to be a healthy human in the long term, you do have to practice relaxation and having some forms of personal relationships with other people that you trust that are a mutual exchange of laughter and positive energy. You guys don't have to agree on everything, but having people that you can just let your guard down with and talk bullshit is vital to long term mental health.

We don't get to decide the rules of life - we can only play with what we've been given to the best of our knowledge/ability.

No one out there will have the final answer for you. You have to keep adjusting things to suit your particular situation until you find that balance that allows you to sustainably give and receive from the world.

*I think the other guys in this thread have made some good points to consider too - especially putting an emphasis on not being an intolerable bastard in general conversation.

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Something else you brought up which I don't think many guys understand, is the self employed/financial independence thing.

Not every guy on this forum is self employed or has enough money to become FI, and that comes across in some of the things I read.

I agree it's a different ballgame once you reach that point.

I agree once you step out of that employee mindset and you start seeing life from the perspective of being the game maker instead of the game player, it can be very isolating and mentally hard to deal with.

You completely unplug and it can be very jarring and it can feel like your own friends and family can't relate to you anymore (you see the game unfolding in front of you and you feel powerless to communicate what is happening).

But, I do think that as the years go by, you learn to mentally process and deal with it better for sure (it's all about acceptance - accept yourself for what you are, and others for who they are, and figure out how to just have positive interactions without trying to go deep about everything). Have to give it time, and have some patience to allow your brain and mentality to adapt.

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The way of the gang is the way of men.

The only friendships ive ever had with any intrinsic value revolved around a common mission, hobby or sport. Often, these friendships involve a small "gang" of men. Creating a hererarchy based on Strength, courage, Skill and honor is a defining attribute.

For example when I was young I rode bulls in TX. I had a crew and we traveled in an old pickup from rodeo to rodeo, pooling cash for fuel, booze, drugs and bitches. Fighting, fucking and getting our bones smashed togethor in the arena. It was bliss.

. I lived in Key West and had a small group of Spearfisherman. We pushed each other to dive deaper, hold our breath longer and kill more fish. We drank at bars and got in fights and often bailed each other out of jail.

Another example, i bow hunted with a crew of men out west USA. We met every year and lived out Of backpacks with the common goal of killing elk with a pointy stick and hauling it out on our back. We trained all year to be the toughest motherfucker on the mountain.

Ive moved on with my life amd live in eastern europe now and my brothers whom I respect I can no longer call my friends because I am no longer in the gang. I am no longer competing for status in the pack and not being tested for strength honor. courage. Thus the friendships have reached its natural conclusion.

The last years ive been living out of a backpack and suitcase in Colombia, Mexico, Europe. Ive learned game and in the process met some solid dudes but the transient nature has prevented a gang from forming. I think this is what brings me to this forum. Its a sort of virtual gang complete with a mechanism for establishing a heirarchy, developing skill, vetting honor. I look forward to adding value, learning and meeting up with forum members. Hit me up if your in or coming through the baltics.

Now that I have settled on a home base I have begun training jiu jitsu and I have found my next gang of men and look forward to developing my skill, my strength and proving my courage so as to cement a place in the heirerarchy. JiuJitsu is an amazing sport and I highly reccomend it. Rolling/grappling is brutally primal. It feels good after being a lone wolf for so many years now and finally finding a pack/gang.

A lone wolf is a wolf that has been ejected from a pack or ejected on his own choice. Long term its a very poor strategy.better to run with the pack or be searching for a pack to run with.

I think part of the red pill is accepting that superficial friendship is for betas and females. Strong, honorable Men organize themselves around other strong honorable men with a common goal.

The pack makes you a better man. Choose your pack wisely, compete for your status fiercely. If your pack is weak and doesnt test you, or your life takes you a different direction. move on but dont succumb to wandering the wilderness as a lone wolf eternally as you will never be the best version of yourself as a man without being part of a gang....

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(04-05-2019 11:05 PM)GT777733 Wrote:  Acceptance, I've found, is the key, and then working with what you've got based on that foundation of acceptance.

All men have to figure out what balance of creating change or awareness, and forming personal relationships suits them.

My consciousness started to change once I realized that friendships were not going to be a major factor in my life. I came to the understanding that friends were going to come and go, and that I was on my own in this world until I started a family.

Having a core group of friends that have supported me throughout my life just wasn't in the cards for me, and I'm ok with that.

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Like everything else you get used to it eventually.

I don't have any red or black pilled friends and any whiff of showcasing my power levels results in massive triggering.

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OP?

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I also lost some of the old friends, and made new ones.

The old ones I lost were kind of toxic. Not doing much, drinking a lot, passive life.

the new friends are likeminded. not 100%, but I have friends who are into the game, others who are into business, and other interests. no one matches me 100% (that would be impossible) but we match in more fields than not and have interesting conversations, and we are growing from our discussions. We have thing to put on the table from both sides.

Some of the old friends (few) are actually happy of my lifestyle changes, and we are still good friends even though we don't meet every weekend (that would be impossible anyway since I'm a nomad).

In the end I see it differently.
I lost some friends: people who i grew up with, and the only thing we had in common wa growing up in the same place.
I got new friends, people who I have a lot in common and whose firnedship is actually making me grow everytime we spend time.

I don't fell at loss, the opposite

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(03-14-2019 09:54 PM)Graft Wrote:  

(03-14-2019 01:22 PM)Deepdiver Wrote:  I look back on my life and even though I was at times naive in the ways of women and in my younger years exhibited blue pill white knight tendencies I was a Natural Red Pill in one key area - the moment someone disrespected me I cut them out of my life - and I have built upon that to the point of being a true Red Pill Silver Fox Jedi in life and with women.

The best advice I was ever given was basically the 11th commandment of ancient wisdom; Never intentionally make a mortal enemy of another man or woman and never allow him or her to make a Mortal Enemy out of you. Because if you do - if it takes them their entire lifetime they will eventually even the score with you often at a low point where you may be at your weakest (Health, Legal etc).

The flip side is never allowing anyone to make a mortal enemy out of you EVER - friendship and relationships among acquaintances are fine but the moment they Disrespect you in a way that you would not have disrespected them is time to keep them at arms length and if a serious form of disrespect cut them completely out of your life. I had a good friend who needed to finish a project and borrowed $2k from me years ago and when I needed the cash back told me "I'll give you your money back when I think you are starving to death". I wanted in the worse way to put a 357 Slug between his eyes but decided as much of a backstabbing scumbag he was - bad on me for trusting him and that he was simply not worth a bid in the State Pen. So I cut him out of my life completely and never looked back.

This is doubly so with women - anyone on RVF for any period of time learns the true nature of women and that the only form of control that works with them is Dread game - that you can and will walk off to your next best or better spinning plate the moment they Disrespect you.

So absorb the red pills of wisdom men have shared with you and shake off the nostalgia of the seemingly good times you may thought you have had with leftist blue pill SJW "Friends" and then MAN The Phock UP and Build a life, your own tribe and castle - Home and Family on your terms and pick a woman who NEVER Disrespects you and keep business associates, clients and lifestyle acquaintances at arms length until they prove they are respectful and can be trusted like a team or tribe to get your back.

Anyone who was a fan of the Godfather trilogy remembers Michael ordering the killing of his own brother Fredo for a betrayal. If they violate-they gotta go, simple as that. A lot of Americans (especially Anglos) don't understand this concept as well as immigrant cultures. Even the Mafia, the biggest Italian crooks, would go to jail for life before snitching on their associates.

Regarding money: I always felt the $100-400 range was a perfect price for eliminating a snake out of your life. It sucks losing the money, but I've been able to drop a few weasels for this price and it always felt good that they weren't able to cause more damage.

One of the things I like to do with a thirsty acquaintance: dangle a date of yours that you don't particularly care about and watch to see what they do. If they start hitting on her, adding her on instagram, anything sketchy: perfect. You trade a bitch you don't care about and eliminate one more snake from your life. I've been able to drop two guys with this method and still end up banging the girls.

Another thing to watch-how a friend acts when someone else disrespects you. I've seen guys try to play both sides during a conflict with a woman or an acquaintance-no good. If I've made sacrifices for that person during a friendship, I expect my enemies to go on their shit list. Luckily my experiences have been first world social politics type of situations where the fallout hasn't been too bad. Best to get rid of these types of people before they get closer to you and cost you seriously financially or relationally.

It's funny to observe loyalty across different social classes. As I've gotten older and elevated my social class, the real penalties for disloyalty have gotten smaller. You lose a few hundred bucks or a plate. Guys who grow up with brawls, gangs, and police don't have any patience for sketchy behavior. This is where I developed my ruthlessness towards disloyalty whereas guys from a higher social class almost expect you to tolerate it. Loyalty isn't as much of a necessity in cushier environments as it is in a rough-and-tumble situation where you need to count on your boys in order to survive.

File this under "Biggest Red Pills". Understanding that, if you're friends are less "aware", that they will most likely be able to be somewhat conned into overlooking what someone else (i.e. a female) did to you if said female is nice to them. When a girl does something shitty to you, and your somewhat mutual male friends know what she did, and she knows they know, she will be the nicest friend ever to them. Eventually, if crafty enough, they can turn the whole situation around so that they think you're the asshole in the situation. These guys aren't malicious, and outside of this situation are probably good friends, but there's a naivety present that requires you to keep them at an arm's length.

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Compromise or go all-in. Your call.

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