Post: #1

I have a "main" I've been seeing for almost 4 months. She's 23 and I'm a few years older. I know she's really into me. For example, I tried to joke that I annoyed by her a few weeks ago and she started crying and everything cause she didn't want to lose me. She wants a relationship.

And until this Tuesday I had never heard of any male friends of hers beside one guy she grew up with.

Suddenly she told me that she was going to hang out with this other guy she hadn't seen in one year and grab a coffee or something. Apparently they went through the equivalent to high school together.

She said that she had told him a few times that it was never going to happen something "more" or sexually between them, they were just friends. This apparently made him upset so he decided to break their friendship and they haven't been in touch for a year. Then suddenly he called her up and apologised for his earlier behaviour and told her that he has changed, and matured and she agreed to meet up with him.

When she told me I just calmly explained to her that I saw no real point in her having this guy around, because at least men are always going to have something in the back of their mind and can't be friends with women.
And giving up contact with her showed his true intentions and it's very unlikely that he has changed so much in just a year and that she should have more self-respect than that.

She eventually became super nervous and was talking about how it was not worth seeing him if it could ruin something between us. So she flaked on him.

But what is the best way to handle this?
In one way I obviously don't want to come across as insecure/needy but in another way I don't want her to grab drinks with some random dude who will try to fuck her. I would not be okay if she was going to start going over to his to watch Netflix or some shit on Friday nights.

She said guy friends could be more fun cause they can talk about more interesting stuff than women and she feels like there's no need to be competitive. She also referred to him as very selfish and social.

I don't get it, what are your thoughts?

Post: #2

She's shit testing you, and, worse....

She's shit testing him.

Women are creatures of attention. She likes the attention this guy gives her. However she's also slightly curious if he has better game and can get her wet.

Now, he may not have game. BUT, he did get her to agree to hang out with him. Think about that.

....

And, remember, technically they're not friends anymore either.

Tread carefully, my friend.

Post: #3

Idk. You have to know him personally and listen to your gut.
I have a female friend that many guys consider pretty But i dont feel any excitement. We used to grab beers in her apartment and i even couldnt touch her (sexually), because is my friend.
And it happened few times that her current BF got jealous by me, thinking I want something else with her.
But not at all. Even sometimes people think we are dating because we have chemistry, But nothing has happened between us. She is just crazy like a mare and am just having fun.
So, it depends and you have to screen what your instincts say.
Perhaps he is really a friendzoned guy.
There is other possibilities of course But i wouldnt be worried by default.

Post: #4

(11-03-2018 07:37 AM)No More Mr. Soy Boy Wrote:  But what is the best way to handle this?

Tell her you're going to meet a girl off Tinder that night.
She has another date, you have another date ...... that's fair.

Post: #5

(11-03-2018 07:37 AM)No More Mr. Soy Boy Wrote:  I have a "main" I've been seeing for almost 4 months. She's 23 and I'm a few years older. I know she's really into me. For example, I tried to joke that I annoyed by her a few weeks ago and she started crying and everything cause she didn't want to lose me. She wants a relationship.

And until this Tuesday I had never heard of any male friends of hers beside one guy she grew up with.

Suddenly she told me that she was going to hang out with this other guy she hadn't seen in one year and grab a coffee or something. Apparently they went through the equivalent to high school together.

She said that she had told him a few times that it was never going to happen something "more" or sexually between them, they were just friends. This apparently made him upset so he decided to break their friendship and they haven't been in touch for a year. Then suddenly he called her up and apologised for his earlier behaviour and told her that he has changed, and matured and she agreed to meet up with him.

When she told me I just calmly explained to her that I saw no real point in her having this guy around, because at least men are always going to have something in the back of their mind and can't be friends with women.
And giving up contact with her showed his true intentions and it's very unlikely that he has changed so much in just a year and that she should have more self-respect than that.

She eventually became super nervous and was talking about how it was not worth seeing him if it could ruin something between us. So she flaked on him.

But what is the best way to handle this?
In one way I obviously don't want to come across as insecure/needy but in another way I don't want her to grab drinks with some random dude who will try to fuck her. I would not be okay if she was going to start going over to his to watch Netflix or some shit on Friday nights.

She said guy friends could be more fun cause they can talk about more interesting stuff than women and she feels like there's no need to be competitive. She also referred to him as very selfish and social.

I don't get it, what are your thoughts?

No, unless its a woman who you are "actually" friends with (but u occasionally fuck) Don't give them advice on other men in their life.

I'm wondering why you sat around to hear the full details of their situation? Why do you care? you should have dismissed it when she brought it up and changed the convo. And if she insisted on talking about him, tell that bitch u could care less what she does when she isn't with you, and he isn't your concern.

BUT YOU HAVE TO MEAN IT WHEN YOU SAY IT. If she senses you getting emotional about it, then she knows her plan is working
She's trying to bitch you up by making u jealous, hoping you will make her your girlfriend

Post: #6

(11-03-2018 09:09 AM)Zoso Wrote:  Idk. You have to know him personally and listen to your gut.
I have a female friend that many guys consider pretty But i dont feel any excitement. We used to grab beers in her apartment and i even couldnt touch her (sexually), because is my friend.
And it happened few times that her current BF got jealous by me, thinking I want something else with her.
But not at all. Even sometimes people think we are dating because we have chemistry, But nothing has happened between us. She is just crazy like a mare and am just having fun.
So, it depends and you have to screen what your instincts say.
Perhaps he is really a friendzoned guy.
There is other possibilities of course But i wouldnt be worried by default.

Your situation is different because you CHOSE to be in the friendzone.

I'm talking about guys that DID NOT want to be in the friendzone, BUT they are there because the girl PUT them there.

In this context, do friendzoned guys stay in the friendzone forever and accept it? Tough for me to say as there isn't data or analysis done on this shit. However, it is a good question.

Guys that have not taken the red pill in my opinion see the friendzone as a compound with 50 foot barbed wire. I think they're usually struggling to escape and get the poon.

That said, if he decides to take the red pill like "Red" did from Shawshank Redemption at his parole hearing, then, yes it's possible. However, it took Red years after years of failed parole hearings to get there

Be like Red and take the red pill but don't automatically expect that other men have.

I have found this out in the hard way as I have gotten older.

Post: #7

(11-03-2018 07:37 AM)No More Mr. Soy Boy Wrote:  I have a "main" I've been seeing for almost 4 months
.....
I don't get it, what are your thoughts?

You handled it just fine. Textbook

Post: #8

(11-03-2018 07:37 AM)No More Mr. Soy Boy Wrote:  But what is the best way to handle this?
In one way I obviously don't want to come across as insecure/needy but in another way I don't want her to grab drinks with some random dude who will try to fuck her. I would not be okay if she was going to start going over to his to watch Netflix or some shit on Friday nights.

She said guy friends could be more fun cause they can talk about more interesting stuff than women and she feels like there's no need to be competitive. She also referred to him as very selfish and social.

I don't get it, what are your thoughts?

She's got beta orbiter baggage. Part of her probably wants to bite the guy's balls off to keep him from reproducing, but she's not completely sold on that.

If you want to keep her as a plate, keep her as a plate. She's clearly got mixed loyalties though. He is likely pushing her at least as hard as she is reporting to you and likely far harder. You hint that you and her have different cultural backgrounds, without offering enough information to be useful.

You handled the situation fine. You kept a plate and there wasn't any move from her that would have justified a plate to ltr reclassification by you. If you decide to promote her at a later time, her having already abandoned this baggage should be low on your list of considerations. How do you like her cooking? Does her standard of home cleanliness meet or exceed yours? Does she absolutely adore you (This is distinct from whether or not she wants the sex more than you, of course she does. All the mind games flow from there)?

Post: #9

I cant help but feel that you helped the guy become more of a sexual interest in her eyes