Post: #26

I see why you're BadKing.

Post: #27

I have one very practical tip for becoming irrationally self-confident if you're not experienced in life.

BE BRAVE.

That's it. It doesn't take any preparations or effort. No self talk no affirmations no mind fucking yourself. None of that shit. Be brave. Approach challenges head on whether you feel good or bad or confident or self conscious. It doesn't matter what you "feel". It's not a factor. You can be brave without logical reasons or abstract concepts to back you up. Just because.

Bravery will get you real life experience which will give you certain level of confidence.

Post: #28

(07-14-2018 05:55 PM)XXL Wrote:  I have one very practical tip for becoming irrationally self-confident if you're not experienced in life.

BE BRAVE.

That's it. It doesn't take any preparations or effort. No self talk no affirmations no mind fucking yourself. None of that shit. Be brave. Approach challenges head on whether you feel good or bad or confident or self conscious. It doesn't matter what you "feel". It's not a factor. You can be brave without logical reasons or abstract concepts to back you up. Just because.

Bravery will get you real life experience which will give you certain level of confidence.

This should form the backbone of your Game, especially when running Daygame. It's not for nothing that several of the world's most important cultures prized courage as the highest virtue, for without it all of the other virtues are impossible to consistently attain.

Post: #29

while fighting my AA last year, I actually tried to solve the very problem which you are posing. This is what helped me change my mind set to be more "arrogant" I would say. I came off as too nice. I was raised as a southern gentlemen by fairly stricter parents, so I decided to do this.

I went into word, and I typed a 1" by 2" slip with these statements:

- when people fish for compliments, bust them.
-tell stories about people trying to get things from you and you ignoring this
-disagree with people
-quit being a white knight!

Every day for almost a month, through out the day I would pull that out of my wallet and remind myself of that. I would pull it out if I failed miserably on some approaches, when I woke up in the morning, during my lunch break, before going into a bar/club/shopping mall.

This helped me be more assertive, so much so I got past the sweet spot, and had to reel it back. Worked for me.

I just went on a date, which was the best date I ever had now, where I feel I was overly assertive especially over the phone. Where as a year ago I would have been super nice, and gotten nothing out of the date. So next date I am in a position where I will calibrate backwards.

Post: #30

@Anarchist101

That's a great tip about using flashcards to become more arrogant. I'm from the South as well, and also grew up with all of the Southern gentleman mannerisms. So I've been intensively using self-talk to become a wild stallion once again. I had a massive winning streak earlier in life, so I'm in the process of reconnecting with the champion mindset that I know I have.

Just in case anyone is wondering:

The Paul McKenna Instant Confidence Guided Hypnosis that Noir mentioned earlier works fucking wonders.

I also had one of the best dates of my life last night, and I don't think it happened by chance.

I'm now discovering that the quality of my self-talk is directly correlated with my confidence levels, game and overall success in life.

I still can't thank Noir enough for writing his post in this thread.

It's unbelievable how a simple tweak in your thought process can have a major impact on the direction of your life.

Post: #31

After reading this,

I've added Paul McKenna's Guided Hypnosis daily. 3 days in! Looking forward to update y'all.

Post: #32

in my early 20's i was needy, obsessed with women and dated ugly fucks, had sex with more than one that i regret so much

i would have never imagined that i would be on this whole new level right now, where i am who dumped my ex's on relationships, i reject girls who chase me and if i feel lazy right before going on a date i will just cancel it and not caring if the girl disappears forever because i know there will be more others

My advice would be:

This is like anything in life... you fail so you learn from it and improve. There is no magic formula, no book, no nothing, other than experience.

You wont always be ready for any situation, but that is fine, because you will fail only once, with time and maturing, you will become better, and the better you are, the more confident you will be.

Post: #33

Some tips

- Act as if...
- Imagine yourself as a leader and millions of people are following your acts.
- Think about how unpredictable and certain death is.
- Imagine that your life is on screen and everybody is watching.
- Do things that challenge you on a daily basis.
- Think of life as a game that you only have one shot to make the highest score.
- Think of a day as life itself, you born in the morning to die later.
- Detach from the physical. Grab a picture of yourself as a kid, imagine that kid inside of your head with the joystick playing life.
- Talk to yourself as you were your father/trainer/coach " Hey XYZ, today I want you to approach that 10, just do it ".

I hope this helps

Post: #34

Self confidence doesn't come from "looking good" or "having great style" - truly self confident people are confident when they are fat, dressed like a slob and we all know that ugly dude that has sky high self confidence that till scores with the ladies. Not that I am advocating being fat and dressing badly.

What we are talking about here, is INNER GAME and if you master that, you will automatically exude outer game.

The thread title is self defeating - if you think your self confidence is "irrational" then you are not doing it right, and it isn't authentic confidence, is it now?

So now for the million dollar question - how to be confident?

If anyone had a all singing, dancing works for everyone answer to that, they would be rich.

I will tell you what I know:

(expert from Uncle ratties "maxims for life")

Self Confidence:

It’s taken a very long time to understand that most people have none. It’s one of the biggest single factors in preventing people from being happy, taking risks, and winning at life. I was blessed with a way of looking at life right from birth, which has always meant I never lacked any self-confidence. I will try to explain it: You are truly the only person that knows who you are, and what you can do. If you have values, and remain true to them.

You are the only person that has observed your whole life, known your every thought, and seen your every victory and defeat. You know your strengths, your weaknesses and motivations behind your every move.

What the hell would anyone else know about you? They have known you for 5 minutes, and presume to call you fat/stupid/weak or useless? What the hell would they know about the real you? Almost nothing. Why would you even listen to them? Have a look at the mirror and remind yourself who really knows you? It doesn't matter what anyone else says about your values, when you face yourself, you can't hide from the things you have done.


This only works if you live true to your values - which may be the secret answer to self confidence - live in alignment to your inner values.

Post: #35

(03-06-2019 04:29 AM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  This only works if you live true to your values - which may be the secret answer to self confidence - live in alignment to your inner values.

I think this is the backbone of it all

Have strong values and boundaries. Stick to them. Not just with girls, but with everything in your life.

Go to the gym because it's the right fucking thing to do and you said you would, regardless of how you feel

Speak your mind because you value honesty, not because you're expecting any kind of result from the shit you say. Do it even if it might piss them off if you believe it to be the right thing to do.

Never. Ever. Change your behavior for the sole reason of getting laid, if it goes against something you believe in. Even if it'll get you pussy in the short term it will kill your confidence in who you are and self-esteem long-term

Forcing yourself to act in this way leads you to build a lot more self esteem. It makes you value things above the opinions of others, making it way easier to act in a confident way.

I do think there's an element of situational confidence there also. I wouldn't at all be confident snowboarding. There's no reason to be - I suck. I have no idea what I'm doing.

Post: #36

I am confident around girls now because I have fucked a lot of girls.

Confidence comes from experience, not reading something

Don't get into your head about this shit. Just make the right moves, get the results, and the confidence will come