Post: #1

Hello, my name is Donovan Fitzgerald but many call me Don. I'm 25 years old, 5'10 fat, balding and boring. OH AND I AM THE VERY DEFINITION OF A BETA SIMP CUCK

I started this Journal because I don't want to flood this forum with questions and I would love to track my progress. I'm tired of being like this and I feel that if I work hard enough I can drastically transform!

A Little About me (skip if needed)
Simply put I lack discipline. I fail in life because I don't have the discipline to change! All the people I look up to are Alpha Males. I know HOW to be cool calm and collected, I know how to lose weight and become more attractive, I know how to relieve stress but I just don't have the energy or the willpower to do so. However, a big change occurred that might give me a push to change (ill get into that later)
My notch count is around 13 with only 4 of those being above a 6, 1 is a 9 (10 to me). Club game isn't for me. When I do talk to girls they're from cold approaches/day game. I've been called charming, funny, VERY intelligent, very ambitious and witty, But for reason's I will get into later I simply don't feel the same way.

Important Bit
OK to put it out there I was in a [i]VERY[/i] emotionally abusive relationship with a girl who was an 8. I was always kinda a yes man but became really codependent once I met her. Anyway we were "friends" for 3 years, in those 3 years she fucked 14 guys. said every evil thing imaginable, did every stalkerish thing imaginable and I wasted thousands of dollars on her (it's 100% my fault).She's super jealous and I feared for my life (since she owned a gun). She begs me to be her boyfriend but I deny her and that makes her act even worse.
Long story short, she was going juggling me and this guy last month and got pregnant by one of us. The dude ran off and left me to have to pay for the clinic visit. She wanted an abortion and as much as I'm usually pro-life, I wanted her to get one way more. The test showed that she got pregnant around the 10th-15th which means it's still a coin flip to see who baby it is.....Anyway, this ended up killing our "friendship" because the hormones made her even worse. I drove over 400 miles and spent nearly $900 on this abortion. We came to an agreement yesterday that we are not compatible.

So where do I go from here? I want to go Bruce Wayne/monk mode for a while, while I increase my money, status, charisma, and looks.

I don't masturbate but that's because I got very consistent sex from her. I fear this may make me go back to her.

I want to do a search but its hard to tell what threads are golden and what are flops. There are many golden threads with only 1 or 2 replies where there are flops with pages worth of replies.


Also, I want to start a workout journal also, or should I keep everything on here?

Post: #2

To start, admitting all these things is a great first step.

Second of all, good on you for getting away from that toxic human being you were dating (if you call it that). A relationship does not consist of your woman fucking other guys. You were essentially a cuck. Don't fall into that kind of thing again. You're better than that, and you need to be the one who tells yourself that.

To get over this woman, write your thoughts in the No Contact Thread.

If you ever feel like texting, emailing, calling this woman, go to that thread immediately. Reaching out to a girl who is this horrid of a person will only suck you back in by either guilt tripping you, or coming up with a ridiculously long apology.

She may say some things that'll cut you to the core and make you want to go back. Don't fall for it. If you do, you will have maybe a week or two of bliss, then everything will go back to where it was. You will be in even worse shape than before. Save yourself some sanity and dignity.


When it comes to your lifestyle, you are the only one that will be able to change it. Willpower and motivation will come once you develop a routine for your self improvement. Everything will become a habit and you will eventually get to the point where you're excited to go to the gym or go for a run.

You won't get jacked over night, but you will be able to see your results over the long term.

When it comes to it, here is what I experienced in regards to levels of progression:

Month 1: You will begin to notice a difference in your body.

Month 2: Your friends and family will begin to notice a difference in your body.

Month 3: Everyone will begin to notice a difference in your body.


It all comes down to your attitude and your desire to work hard to achieve your goals. If you approach the gym with a half ass attitude, you won't hit your goals.

When it comes to setting your goals, make sure they are measurable AND obtainable. Start small and work your way up.

Once you change your attitude and start seeing these changes in your body, your self confidence will boost drastically. You will feel unstoppable. This will help you with your overall outlook on life as well as with women.


Keep your progress in this thread and document what you are doing. It can be anything from your gym routine, your diet, how you dress, the approaches you have made with women, etc.

This forum has a vast amount of knowledge. Explore as many threads as you can and ask questions. There are plenty of men here that will offer their advice.

Post: #3

Thank You for all the information. I Love the gym, my problem is nutrition.

My stats weight wise are

Bench=335
squat=395 (used to be 495)
pull ups=12 (6 with a 25 pound weight)
deadlift=495
preacher curl (one hand)=65
Rows=245

Plays basketball religiously but I can't run a mile straight

I weight 235 at 5'10, and really want to do a Major cut and ultimately get down to 175-185.

Post: #4

Yesterday was a very hard day. I lost a lifelong friend in a car accident, known the guy for 20 years and saw him pretty much every day for at least 15 years.

The girl i mentioned above wanted me to come over and I told her about my friend. She decided that I deserved for my friend to die and was happy he did die. She later told me to come over and when I refused she did her typical banter degrading me and such.

Saw a very beautiful girl at Walmart yesterday. I was afraid to talk to her. I need to get out my comfort zone and actually do it.

decided tomorrow im going to start my actual cutting cycle. I want to train like a Navy SEAL even though im not going to BUD/s. That means a lot more running, a lot more swimming and a lot more being uncomfortable.




To end today I found an interesting Quote from Seneca

“Were all the geniuses of history to focus on this single theme, they could never fully express their bafflement at the darkness of the human mind. No person would give up even an inch of their estate, and the slightest dispute with a neighbor can mean hell to pay; yet we easily let others encroach on our lives—worse, we often pave the way for those who will take it over. No person hands out their money to passersby, but to how many do each of us hand out our lives! We’re tight-fisted with property and money, yet think too little of wasting time, the one thing about which we should all be the toughest misers.”

—Seneca, On the Brevity of Life, 3.1–2

Post: #5

I know this belongs in the weight lifting forum but I FINALLY hit 225 10 reps in flat bench...

Game wise, I’m still a little bitch but this gave me a slight boost in confidence.

Plan on going out today, to work on my day game

Post: #6

Did my first real approach last night. Made a redhead with a perfect body blush all over. I could tell I really made her day. She was obviously in a rush so I stopped the conversation, but I could tell she wanted to talk

Besides that the weight room was horrible. Couldn’t even squat 275 nor 135 for reps.

Post: #7

The good day's workout at the gym definitely boosts confidence. And is good for the long-run. Going NoFap is also definitely a good thing, also you'll have to supplement that with actual sex (not from this LTR girl you're seeing tho). Overall its good, it gives you that animal "I must score" instinct.

Keep it up bro.

Post: #8

So it has been a LONG time since I posted but here's a recap of what happened

1. So as a sign of weakness I took the girl back. She was sad about the abortion and I fell into the trap like an idiot

2. I paid for it in the worst way. We were texting and the guy she's messing with (technically her boyfriend) said he was coming over and was going to kick her door down and she sounded REALLY scared. So I rushed over her house called her and basically, he took that as a sign to humiliate me and had sex (honestly raped her) on the phone. I know her Pain screams and orgasm screams very well. He came before I could even hang up the phone and I blocked her. 3 weeks later she called me from all her family cell phone until I answer and begged me back Like a dumbass I took her back

3. Approaches have been great but horrible. My approaches and openers are great, no rejections but I have a very bad sticking point. I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO DO AFTER I GET THE NUMBER. The gym I go to is also a problem, the only girls that tend to flirt with me are under 18 so I can't even approach them and the closest girls to my age besides them are at least 40 (15 years older than me)

4. I started 48 laws of power and will feature a chapter of it in my journal every day. This will help me learn and master the laws

5. Nofap has been GREAT although I believe its the reason I keep going back to my ex. 40 days strong with few urges, cold showers help ALOT.

6. Dropped down from 235 to 220 without any real changes to my diet, I will try the Keto diet and supplement it with Zinc and other supplements.

7. Learned ALOT from this site. Obviously, I need to do something better to implement it in my life but I'm making notes that I will study every day, I will Share them on here as well

8. My brother is back from Maryland and we are both on this self-improvement lifestyle. he has done nofap for 2 weeks now and already had a one-night stand. He just turned 21 so its the perfect time

9. I'm very motivated and plan on deleting Instagram and other media apps that mess with dopamine receptors. I'm not ready to show off my status so whats the point in having the app?

10. I'm learning how to control my emotions and use them to my advantage, my ex-did some really scandalous things today which would usually make me mad but instead I'm very happy and ready for tomorrow, So I can work harder on improving my life. Planning on blocking her again and figuring out a way to keep her out my life.



So thats been my update, pretty disappointing but i will at least try to do better. I'm still a beta simp bitch right now but I know one day I will be great.

Post: #9

Look man some guys enjoy being dramatic and telling their dad stories and omg I can’t stop failing but I’m trying.

If you’re gonna take the girl back with the guys cum still inside her, at least do us the favor to shut this thread down.

Some situations require guidance and support, youRs doesn’t. Your solution is simple and either u do it or not.

Post: #10

(07-26-2018 08:03 AM)Beirut Wrote:  Look man some guys enjoy being dramatic and telling their dad stories and omg I can’t stop failing but I’m trying.

If you’re gonna take the girl back with the guys cum still inside her, at least do us the favor to shut this thread down.

Some situations require guidance and support, youRs doesn’t. Your solution is simple and either u do it or not.

Just the type of reply I wanted to hear. Not really much support on this site, but when there is it's brutal and honest. You're 100% right.....I'm trying and there's NO EXCUSE for taking her back but everyman has moments of weakness, mines is just weaker than most.

You're right it is simple.

Post: #11

Dude nothing is worth fucking with a girl like that. She has clear mental issues and whatever game she is playing with the dude who "raped" her and you it's designed to fuck with you. Go ghost for your own sanity. Internalize that she is trying to fuck your life up. It's not a joke man this is your life you're better than that.

Keep up the good work, keep trying. Try stuff for a while and if you aren't seeing results try other stuff. Not every style of game is for everyone and it's important to be realistic and learn what you excel at and what would take 1000 hours to become a novice at and make a call if it's worth it.