Post: #1

At 44, I made my last attempt to get pregnant, on my own

Elana Rabinowitz
Yahoo LifestyleMarch 20, 2018

I was 44 that summer three years ago, the crossroads of midlife, at which point I finally decided after much trepidation that I would try to have a child on my own. I would be a single mother by choice, but it really wasn’t a choice at all. It was a consolation after failed love and heartbreak, it was the kiss at 11:59 on New Year’s Eve, it was the last chance I had at having a baby of my own.

I knew two women, both in their 40s and in my writing class, who had done it. There must be a link between loneliness and writing, I thought. One of the women, with a toddler, lived close by, and the other had twins by herself. They did it, I thought, so perhaps I could too.


Still, I was terrified — the needles alone almost did me in. Injecting Lupron twice a day felt like self-injecting quills into my thighs and buttocks. Then I had to add the medication Gonal- F and doses of estrogen, begging friends to help with the final trigger shot on nights before the procedure. Like a dress I couldn’t button, the angle of the horse needle was as awkward and as hard to reach as the pregnancy. Still, I devoted myself to the fertility treatments.

I knew I would be a great mother. I knew this in my bones. I wasn’t a particularly talented girlfriend, sort of clumsy in that department, but with children, I was a superstar. I could make the shiest ones come out of their shell, the introverts roar with laughter and the ones who hate adults my best friend. I always could. They used to make fun of me at summer camp, saying that I would rather be with the kids than hang out with the cool teenagers. Maybe they were right.

As an elementary school teacher, I thought it cruel to still be working closely with young children and not have one (or two) of my own. I was always running into other teachers with protruding stomachs and young mothers comparing bedtime rituals and birthday party planning. I was surrounded by kid talk all day but left out entirely of the conversations.

That year, my entire spring was filled with hope. Among the blooming flowers and humming of birds I came close to pregnancy, but I never conceived. I got to the clinic before 7 a.m. on monitoring days. I made sure to wear loose clothing so the ultrasounds could go quickly. I did everything to the letter: I gave up sushi and coffee, I didn’t have a sip of alcohol, I didn’t even lift my Amazon packages for fear of strain, but still no baby. My summer was devoted to trying to conceive. I forewent the beach and weekend trips for fertility procedures. I worked real estate to help fund the costs.

By fall I had tried five times and exhausted the possibilities. I tried one last time and somehow a miracle happened. I was 44 and pregnant. I felt a tingle in my body and rubbed my tummy as if to hear a murmur. I was energized and had never felt so normal in my life. All my fears dissipated. I would have the strength of two parents. I would hold my baby up. I would teach him to ride a bike and how to be kind but still tough.

I got the call at work. The same warm nurses who screamed for joy to tell me I was pregnant now made the somber phone call. The pregnancy lasted less than a week and microscopic traces of human life, blended into my body and washed away. Like a cleanse I did not want to partake in, I never was whole after that. After coming so close to motherhood I didn’t know how to move forward. I met with my doctor to discuss, and he too cried when I told him all I had been through. All I had lost. He too was saddened that I had endure this alone.

“You can produce the eggs, but for some reason they won’t stay,” he said, obviously frustrated on my behalf. Maybe I could still try. Day in day out, more needles more pinpricks. I became stronger each time, even learning how to take the thick needle and press it firmly into my buttocks at the exact moment necessary for conception. I was doing everything alone and was fine with it.

But eventually I wasn’t. I couldn’t take it anymore. No more needles. No more letdowns. No more fighting the impossible. I still had all the hormones in my house. Some dry and in boxes others needing to stay cool and placed in the bottom shelf of my refrigerator next to the Bonbel cheese. For three years the hormones sat there, I couldn’t throw them away. It felt as if by dumping them, I would be admitting that they did not work — I did not work.

At 47 I decided it was time. I reached into my fridge and grabbed the sealed boxes on last time — the swabs, the alcohol, the hormones sealed tight, the red plastic bin to dispose of the needles. I grabbed them all and walked. I walked the same path I used to on those early appointment mornings, and I returned all the boxes to the clinic. Someone can use these I thought. They can still give life.

After that I kept walking. I meandered through a nearby park; I wandered streets. With every step my load felt lighter and I began to breathe more easily. I would have to make a new life of my own somehow, but now there was finally room.


https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/44-made-...38804.html

Post: #2

Good one

Post: #3

Rabinowitz.

Post: #4

(03-20-2018 02:45 PM)RIslander Wrote:  Rabinowitz.

Sounds Irish.

Post: #5

Writes for NYT and WPT... she might as well not reproduce. Darwin usually wins.

Post: #6

As has been a trend lately, the commenters don't appear to be very scared about keeping things real:

Quote:This woman has serious issues and I feel sorry for any child born to her. I'll tell you as an only child born to a single mother, it sucked. I learned boy things the hard way and later in life. My mother was so wrapped up with herself and then in finding a guy, I didn't know which way was up. She found some real winners who beat her, me, and made me scared to grow up because I didn't want to be them. So, don't just think about yourself, think about the child and what they'll miss by not having an active father.

Quote:Chances of a successful pregnancy drop significantly after 40. It's already hard at 35. OP started 10 years to late.

Quote:Give me a call. I get broads pregnant even when I try not too.

Quote:She hit the wall and is now trying to find a purpose for her life since she's given up on heterosexual love. The time has to be now since her supply of eggs is dwindling and the ship is about to sail.

Quote:i absolutely DESPISE women that do this kind of stuff. look, if it didn't work during your younger years, it didn't. i personally know 3 older ladies that have gone full retard with this and have ended with down syndrome babies. congratulations, now you're old and responsible for a very special child that will outlive you and the care you're responsible to provide. yay! UGH.

Quote:no one wants to hear it, but single mothers are terrible parents. if the kids grow up normal and decent, it's a fluke. it takes a man and a woman to make a baby and to raise a child. women can't replace a father.

Quote:I read this article and was struck by how focused the writer was on HERSELF.
Me, me, I, I........
What kind of crazy does it take to WANT to be a single parent? Why would you subject a child to that voluntarily? Most people I know that are single parents do it out of necessity, and certainly wished things had worked out in their families for it to stay intact. But to start out this way?? I don't get it.

Quote:seems like she is more focused on having a child for the sake of having a child (kinda like a pet, all her friends have one and she wants one too...) maybe she should be a little less focused on herself and that might lead her to a relationship where having a child would be a blessing and not just the trying to keep up with her friends thing to do.

Quote:So for 44 long years you gave up on men

Post: #7

Gives new meaning to the phrase, "Go fuck yourself."

Post: #8

I know everyone wants to know what she looks like. She looks like a classic SIF who is fairly good at looking presentable while hiding her bulk behind clothing.

http://narrative.ly/feels-biggest-woman-clothing-swap/

Post: #9

Actually, even at 30 nowadays most women need serious pharmaceutical help to conceive. They are all working and stressed out and their husbands have low test low sperm count so even when they’re young it’s difficult. So at 45...

Post: #10

The comments under this article give me hope for the future of Western Civilization.

Quote:Give me a call. I get broads pregnant even when I try not too.

Liberal propaganda. You see many of those fake stories, about women giving up on family or becoming Lesbian or cheating on their Husbands and etc...

If only all liberals would stop reproducing.


no one wants to hear it, but single mothers are terrible parents. if the kids grow up normal and decent, it's a fluke. it takes a man and a woman to make a baby and to raise a child. women can't replace a father.

This article should be sent to every cat lady you know.

Post: #11

Also written by this woman:

My thick brows taught me I don't need to change how I look for anyone
IT HAPPENED TO ME: My Date Dumped Me For Being Jewish
IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Got Addicted to Psychics While Looking for Love
My modern Cinderella moment was nothing like the fairy tale
Could I turn my Facebook flirtation into a face-to-face relationship?
You don't have to be a 'real runner' to enter races



Sounds like a real winner here folks...

Post: #12

There are countless men in this world between the ages of 18-40 who are decent and hardworking. There are others who are underachievers who are just a lot of fun.

If you're a woman and you can't find any one of these men worthy or willing to sire a child, you should not be having a child. It means you can't get along with people in general.

Children are people with distinct personalities. They're not amorphous blobs of clay you can mold or control. If you don't do well with people, you won't do well with children.

And I don't wanna hear "But I'm a great teacher!" Someone is paying her to do that. At the end of the day she gets to go home.

Speaking of parenting, how did the U.S. produce a generation of women like this? Did the whole "girl power" thing breed women who really thought they were too good for any man and had to hit the sperm banks? Sad!

PS: Kudos to the OP for posting the byline of this woman. She needs to be immortalized by this article. She sure won't be achieving immortality through any offspring.

Post: #13

I bet if she went somewhere where things were skewed in favor of females (I am thinking: UK, Scandinavia, Germany, etc) she could find someone! Even at her age.

Post: #14

(03-20-2018 03:19 PM)TheUsual Wrote:  Also written by this woman:

"I Feel Guilty for Being Able to ‘Pass’ as a Person of Color"

Quote:He called me negra.... what translates to “black woman.” I wasn’t offended...The thing is, I’m really just a white Jewish girl from Brooklyn.

Junot Diaz came to give a book talk and I was awestruck by the man who stood in front of me, waxing poetically in a black hoodie sweatshirt. Would that have been the time to correct a genius?

Junot Diaz is Dominican, and when he says a Spanish word to me, I know he ... relating to me as one person of color to another. I enjoy the warmth of being talked to in Spanish–included in a group. Sometimes I like it better. Sometimes it goes too far. Not in a Rachel Dolezal way, but a lie just the same.

She appears to be an accomplished writer of fiction, perhaps she can better serve peoplekind this way.

Post: #15

(03-20-2018 02:38 PM)CallSignBigRed Wrote:  “You can produce the eggs, but for some reason they won’t stay,” he said, obviously frustrated on my behalf.

For some reason. Yes it's a real mystery. At 44 you aren't supposed to get pregnant.

I'm glad it didn't work out for her, choosing to be a single mother is selfish and not in the best interest of a child. Adoption or fostering would have been a much better option.

Post: #16

(03-20-2018 02:56 PM)C-Note Wrote:  As has been a trend lately, the commenters don't appear to be very scared about keeping things real:

Quote:This woman has serious issues and I feel sorry for any child born to her. I'll tell you as an only child born to a single mother, it sucked. I learned boy things the hard way and later in life. My mother was so wrapped up with herself and then in finding a guy, I didn't know which way was up. She found some real winners who beat her, me, and made me scared to grow up because I didn't want to be them. So, don't just think about yourself, think about the child and what they'll miss by not having an active father.

Quote:Chances of a successful pregnancy drop significantly after 40. It's already hard at 35. OP started 10 years to late.

Quote:Give me a call. I get broads pregnant even when I try not too.

Quote:She hit the wall and is now trying to find a purpose for her life since she's given up on heterosexual love. The time has to be now since her supply of eggs is dwindling and the ship is about to sail.

Quote:i absolutely DESPISE women that do this kind of stuff. look, if it didn't work during your younger years, it didn't. i personally know 3 older ladies that have gone full retard with this and have ended with down syndrome babies. congratulations, now you're old and responsible for a very special child that will outlive you and the care you're responsible to provide. yay! UGH.

Quote:no one wants to hear it, but single mothers are terrible parents. if the kids grow up normal and decent, it's a fluke. it takes a man and a woman to make a baby and to raise a child. women can't replace a father.

Quote:I read this article and was struck by how focused the writer was on HERSELF.
Me, me, I, I........
What kind of crazy does it take to WANT to be a single parent? Why would you subject a child to that voluntarily? Most people I know that are single parents do it out of necessity, and certainly wished things had worked out in their families for it to stay intact. But to start out this way?? I don't get it.

Quote:seems like she is more focused on having a child for the sake of having a child (kinda like a pet, all her friends have one and she wants one too...) maybe she should be a little less focused on herself and that might lead her to a relationship where having a child would be a blessing and not just the trying to keep up with her friends thing to do.

Quote:So for 44 long years you gave up on men

I read those comments and it makes me wonder if in the future we'll be able to look back at the demographic data for the time period we're living in right now and pin-point exactly when red pill awareness started to really spread out to the mainstream.

Guys on here joke about there being a bunch of bitter old cat ladies in the future, but I'm thinking we're sitting at what will later be seen as an inflection point on a graph when it comes to marriage and family formation.

Post: #17

(03-20-2018 03:28 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  There are countless men in this world between the ages of 18-40 who are decent and hardworking. There are others who are underachievers who are just a lot of fun.

If you're a woman and you can't find any one of these men worthy or willing to sire a child, you should not be having a child. It means you can't get along with people in general.

Children are people with distinct personalities. They're not amorphous blobs of clay you can mold or control. If you don't do well with people, you won't do well with children.

And I don't wanna hear "But I'm a great teacher!" Someone is paying her to do that. At the end of the day she gets to go home.

Speaking of parenting, how did the U.S. produce a generation of women like this? Did the whole "girl power" thing breed women who really thought they were too good for any man and had to hit the sperm banks? Sad!

PS: Kudos to the OP for posting the byline of this woman. She needs to be immortalized by this article. She sure won't be achieving immortality through any offspring.

Couldn't have said it better myself. These women have a warped mind where they think they deserve a CEO with a model body and a bad boy rock star personality.

Post: #18

(03-20-2018 03:05 PM)speculator Wrote:  The comments under this article give me hope for the future of Western Civilization.

Quote:Give me a call. I get broads pregnant even when I try not too.

Liberal propaganda. You see many of those fake stories, about women giving up on family or becoming Lesbian or cheating on their Husbands and etc...

If only all liberals would stop reproducing.


no one wants to hear it, but single mothers are terrible parents. if the kids grow up normal and decent, it's a fluke. it takes a man and a woman to make a baby and to raise a child. women can't replace a father.

This article should be sent to every cat lady you know.

Its too late for the cat ladies. Articles like these should be required reading before indoctrination camp(AKA College) in or to make a difference.

Post: #19

Ever notice how all these writers sound exactly the same in their writing style? It's really boring.

Post: #20

I just feel sad for her in the end. It's like watching someone who has thrown their life away, and realizes that no matter what she does, there's no way to salvage it.

Sure it's easy to point and laugh at her misery, but at this points it's just sad.

To top it off, she may have dodged a bullet. Kids are a lot of work. I'm 29 and my wife is about to be 22 and it's definitely a lot of work with time, arranging babysitting, planning work schedules for said babysitting, figuring out finances, ect.

Not to mention getting your tired ass out of bed to quickly fill a bottle so your son will go back to sleep.

When both my boys were infants, my wife was up constantly at night. She was exhausted, but managed to pull through.

Now imagine being in your 40s and trying to do that. Most of these women who put off having kids to their 40s have no idea what they are in for in terms of how much time and energy they will have to invest.

Same thing for men who wait till their 40s. Sure, it might not be as exhausting, but you can bet your ass, you will be getting up too at night to help make a bottle, change a diaper ect.

People were meant to have kids when they are young. Our degenerate narcissist culture is too busy having fun and spending money it doesn't have to realize this. They will learn the hard way - Or just end up childless.

Post: #21

She can always become a dog mom. If she isn't already...

Post: #22

And nothing of value was lost that day.

Post: #23

When promoting natural selection / Darwinism to the nth degree.
Don't be surprised if it manifests for thee...

Some folk simply prefer to learn the hard way.

Post: #24

A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.

Hunter S. Thompson

Post: #25

(03-20-2018 06:41 PM)CynicalContrarian Wrote:  She can always become a dog mom. If she isn't already...

An hour too late to make the first dog mom joke huh? That's what I get for drinking during shitposting hours.