Post: #1

Hey guys,

I'm a Indian guy in my late 20s.

I've only recently stated to become successful and they know it.

These guys know me as the 'quiet guy who doesn't talk" although they can't say that now as I communicate a lot over the past 2 years. it's just disrespect.

The Aunty:

-she doesn't want me to do better than her sons
-she's gossips and exaggerates a lot about me

The son:

-is an arrogant man
-wants to be better than me
-he's put me down and tried to bully me in front of others

The youngest Son (who's 21)

-I respected him a lot before and he was a decent guy
-He's now starting to disrespect me and I think he's influenced by his older brother and mother who constantly chat crap and mock me behind my back.
-He said before and again I can't get a girl (he doesn't know me and he can't justify this).
-They are calling me a liar (they don't think I'm developing websites)-but who is/they to say?

The dad

-Said one time "if my dad doesn't help out, how can I get a wife". I don't need my dad to help out lol

I've been told by my other cousin (who went to their house yesterday) the mother and those 2 son's who I mentioned above was mocking me because they think I'm lonely, single and I can't get a girl. The youngest son said "yeah right, as if he can".

Once again, they saying this out of their own arrogance, they don't know me.

How can I keep the power, reply back?

This is affecting my self esteem.

They have the arrogance to say that, what is the best way to reply back, if not reply, keep the power? (by being happy?)

Thanks for replying!

Post: #2

You need to develop your own emotional intelligence.

This will help you to both ignore others opinions, and deal with them effectively.

The gift of not being emotional affected by what others say or think of you is the greatest self development you can do on yourself.

NLP is good for this as well.

Post: #3

This may be upsetting or controversial to some, but I'm trying to tell the truth as far as I know. If you disagree, maybe something can still be gleaned from this. The way to have permanently proper self-esteem is to base your worth on being a son of God, and on growing to become more like Him. If you base your worth on talents, money, women, a career, looks, being a "nice guy," or anything else, you will find your self-esteem to be temporary and hollow.

Post: #4

I see this a lot in the Indian community.

I don't want to be racist, but having dozens of Indian friends who are business majors/engineering majors from a semi-ivy league school, the beta-ness and just having bad fundamentals of social skills seem to be pretty common.

I would say this...Why are you even trying to have power over them?
Why can't you just focus on yourself and reduce contact from those people or even cut them off?
Sure, you can draw STRONG BOUNDARIES, but people don't change usually.
If you don't have anything to gain from them especially by proving/supplicating to them, why even bother trying to look GOOD in front of them?
Why even associate yourself with them?

I remember there is a saying, "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes" - William Gibson

Sometimes the only winning move is just not to play...Don't try to win them over.
If you are doing your shit and focused on your business and become successful, they will comeback, but then at that point you wouldn't even want them because you will have HIGHER QUALITY of social circle, who cheer you up, encourage you, etc.

Remember, "Less people, less bullshit", not everybody has to know about your life/business.
Make money, not friends. Stay low-key, keep yourself aloof/nonchalant/blase and people will perceive you as higher value and you will create a mysterious vibe about you especially when you speak only when necessary.

The less you reveal, more they will wonder. Choose people who chose you. Surround yourself with people who bring you up, not down. Bringing someone down, disrespecting them, disparaging them,tThat's some low-behavior and peasant mentality right there.

Hope that helps man...I feel you cuz I been there, I am Korean and a lot of Koreans who are not Americanized tend to be really passive-aggressive.

Lastly, fuck what they think dude. Live your life. Go do your thing. You don't need them right now if you have a job and can be independent. Yeah..they are your family, so what? What tangible value are they really bringing to the table?

Post: #5

Do you live with these people? If so, you should move out.

If not, how much time do you spend with them, that this is such a bother? You should develop a separate social circle with close friends.

Post: #6

Dupe

How to keep the power from your family who think they control you
I'm ignored and treating me like the black sheep of the family
How is the best way to deal with a bully?
Are my family haters?

The best advice in the world is not going to help if you don't apply it. You've already been given actionable advice. Have you tried any of the advice that you've been given on this forum? If you haven't then it's totally pointless posting here.

On the other hand if you have taken advice from here, post in those old threads, let them know if their advice worked or it didn't. If you don't, you're just wasting everyone's time.

Post: #7

-delete-

Isn't worth the time on an IRT

Post: #8

(12-22-2017 04:29 PM)FireStarter Wrote:  Dupe

How to keep the power from your family who think they control you
I'm ignored and treating me like the black sheep of the family
How is the best way to deal with a bully?
Are my family haters?

The best advice in the world is not going to help if you don't apply it. You've already been given actionable advice. Have you tried any of the advice that you've been given on this forum? If you haven't then it's totally pointless posting here.

On the other hand if you have taken advice from here, post in those old threads, let them know if their advice worked or it didn't. If you don't, you're just wasting everyone's time.

Holy shit, OP had these many posts on this particular topic?

Grow some fucking balls, OP. Seriously? =/

If you can't follow your intuition and gut, you will never be successful with girls/business and in life. At this point, people are not going to take you seriously cuz couple months from now on, you just going to post another thread that resembles what you posted previously without any updates, which indicates that you haven't taken MASSIVE ACTION.

Seriously, drop these people who are burden to your life. Sometimes you have to SUBTRACT things so that you can get to the next level. Minimalism bro. Travel light so you can have more stamina.
It seems like "crab mentality" to me and they are scared/insecure that you will be more successful and better than them.

Why would a person hate?

A hater legitimize one's success.
- Grant Cardone

It's not always the case, but they are hating because they ain't got nothing else to do. They are below you, jealous, that's why they are hating.

Fail faster & harder.

Once again, people are not going to take you seriously when you consistently start a new thread without giving us any updates.
Take all of these advices to your heart and really cement them on your brain. I have seen these kinda of behavior from a lot of Indians and it's really making me pissed off as Indian woman think they have so much power over man when their tits are sagging and they don't even work out.