Post: #1

Hey Guys

Regarding leaving home for the first time, there's been a growing trend of millenials that are staying at home with their parents longer and a growing number of home leavers returning home to live with their parents for a short stay before moving back out again.

My background is; I still live at home and I'm planning on moving out in 12 months time.

Would just like to hear the experience from some fellow RVF'ers to get a sense of what you guys experience was like.

What age did you move out?
What living arrangements did you move into?
Why did you move out?
How long did you remain out of home before returning?

And finally any advice you guys have.

Cheers.

Post: #2

How old are you?

Post: #3

(07-21-2017 09:58 PM)Dunder Wrote:  Hey Guys

Regarding leaving home for the first time, there's been a growing trend of millenials that are staying at home with their parents longer and a growing number of home leavers returning home to live with their parents for a short stay before moving back out again.

My background is; I still live at home and I'm planning on moving out in 12 months time.

Would just like to hear the experience from some fellow RVF'ers to get a sense of what you guys experience was like.

What age did you move out?
What living arrangements did you move into?
Why did you move out?
How long did you remain out of home before returning?

And finally any advice you guys have.

Cheers.

I moved out when I was 19. Went to culinary school. Worked at Trader Joe's.

I moved in with a fat Mexican dude named Raul that sold ADT security system contracts in a bad part of L.A. I paid something like $400/month rent and lived on a mattress with no frame or proper bedding. My first meal in L.A. was at a Yoshinoya where I frequently ate. I had no friends or contacts, had no goddamn clue what I was doing. Drove a beat up '93 Buick LeSabre.

I did that for roughly the next 10 years, each move improved my situation (and cars) somewhat. Sometimes living with a girl, sometimes not. Went deeply into debt several times.

There was a brief period where I was sleeping on a friend's couch (actually I brought the couch and just left it at their apartment) for $50/month but the couch had some sort of disease that would make your skin itch uncontrollably and all my buddies there would be up until 5am taking hallucinogens and playing NES while I had to wake up and work at a deli in Malibu at 7am. I couldn't take it anymore so I moved in with my mom for a couple months before getting into huge blowout fights with her and finally got a better job at a high end resort cooking really good food and could afford my own studio, albeit one that had mold contamination and was infested with fleas due to some crazy bitch in the complex that insisted on feeding pigeons which attracted the fleas. Anytime I wanted to have a girl over I had to bomb the apartment with RAID, god knows what all those chemicals did to my immune system.

It's important to struggle. This trend of waiting to move out is horseshit. I've been working since i was 15, at jobs where I was completely miserable, in order to pay my own way through life even though I grew up decidedly middle class. Doing those things builds character and teaches you lessons beyond just earning a paycheck.

Don't wait to move out. Just fucking do it. Get a dead end job flipping burgers and stay in a 2 bedroom apartment with 3 roommates. If you're young, it could be the time of your life. Some of my happiest moments in life were being in my early 20s, broke, no girlfriend, living with a bunch of dudes and partying our asses off. Fuck comfort, go roll around in the mud.

I'm 35 now and own a house and manage 60 employees, many of whom I help with their own struggles. I've got a 17 year old cook right now that reminds me a lot of myself at that age, and I feel good knowing I can set him up on a successful path to avoid a lot of the mistakes and struggles I went through.

All that said, seeing as how I feel like I've "made it" to some extent, I would have no problem asking my dad to crash at his place for a few months if I needed to relocate or go through some logistical shit to rent my house out.

Post: #4

Veloce makes a good point about struggle. It is essential for a man to struggle.

Without trying to be a dick to the first time poster, too many people make posts like yours to seek comfort.

Life isn't meant to be comfortable. And take it from someone who strategies for a living, there is a great sense of living when you do stuff without planning.

I assume you have few resources OP. I don't mean that to be cruel. You are in a great position to live without worrying about consequences. Once you have assets, you actually need to be more responsible. Especially in the West, where people are eager to so over nothing. I've never really had the freedom that you have now. Enjoy it while you can.

Live life, make mistakes and learn from them.

Post: #5

If you're asking, you are probably too old to be living at home.

Post: #6

@suits I'm 22. My current situation is pretty darn good but I live pretty far from the city.

My main reason for moving out is to give myself some sort of pressure, a sort of back up against the wall mentality.

I'm a big fan of grant Cardone and previously planned to spend my first year out of university in a professional job at home and build up a huge savings account before purchasing a home and renting it out to have a passive income and pay my rent for me but I'm tossing up in between options for now.

Post: #7

(07-21-2017 11:06 PM)Dunder Wrote:  @suits I'm 22. My current situation is pretty darn good but I live pretty far from the city.

My main reason for moving out is to give myself some sort of pressure, a sort of back up against the wall mentality.

I'm a big fan of grant Cardone and previously planned to spend my first year out of university in a professional job at home and build up a huge savings account before purchasing a home and renting it out to have a passive income and pay my rent for me but I'm tossing up in between options for now.

My brother had the same exact plan. He just turned 28.

Post: #8

@veloce thanks for your response the summary was good.

@wi30 why didn't your brother follow through??

Post: #9

(07-22-2017 01:11 AM)Dunder Wrote:  @veloce thanks for your response the summary was good.

@wi30 why didn't your brother follow through??

Colleague of mine had similar plan, he's 34. Still living at home and that isn't going to change any time soon. Drives brand new BMW, gets his meals cooked for him and has no bills. Just too easy to have no rent and spend all your cash instead of save it.

For me I was 22 when I moved out and looking back I wish I did it earlier.

What age did you move out?
I was 22 years old when I moved out.

What living arrangements did you move into?
Shared house with strangers, I'm on my 3rd shared house now. First house was okay, too expensive and in the wrong location (hour commute each way) depleted my savings living there but it was all new for me was there for 6-7 months. Second house I hated, it looked vaguely like a crack house. Was next to work so I walked and cheaper than first house too. Current house is easily the best. Central location with park and 10-15minutes town drive to work. I moved here because I got a new job.


Why did you move out?
I wanted to move out before but my mum n step dad separated (now divorced) and thought of having to live with my mum was not very appealing I chose to move.

How long did you remain out of home before returning? No, they've since moved away and it would take too long to commute to work. Besides I quite like where I live.

Post: #10

Do you get along well with your parents?

Post: #11

Left home at 16 to work on a farm. I remember thinking forty quid a week rent for a bed and meals was expensive

Post: #12

"Colleague of mine had similar plan, he's 34. Still living at home and that isn't going to change any time soon. Drives brand new BMW, gets his meals cooked for him and has no bills. Just too easy to have no rent and spend all your cash instead of save it."

True. I see how that can go wrong now. Personally I don't think I'd ever allow myself to live like that but maybe you just get greedy.

Also moving this thread forward I didn't intend it for it to be specific to myself. I think it would serve better as a data sheet sort of thing, just everyone's general experiences. That way we can discover what's worked for most people...

Post: #13

(07-21-2017 09:58 PM)Dunder Wrote:  Hey Guys

Regarding leaving home for the first time, there's been a growing trend of millenials that are staying at home with their parents longer and a growing number of home leavers returning home to live with their parents for a short stay before moving back out again.

My background is; I still live at home and I'm planning on moving out in 12 months time.

Would just like to hear the experience from some fellow RVF'ers to get a sense of what you guys experience was like.

What age did you move out?
What living arrangements did you move into?
Why did you move out?
How long did you remain out of home before returning?

And finally any advice you guys have.

Cheers.

I moved out when i was 26. Late compared to some but i get along well with my parents and we have a nice size house where i had my independence even though we're around at the same time, they also traveled a lot so i'd have weekends to myself back then to have parties and mates around.

I bought a house and moved into it, it was always the plan to save for a house and at the time i had a gf but it didn't last.

Lasted about 5 years and then sold it and built another larger house while i was living back my parents place. Then sold that after two years and now back home again! Renting out my third place and looking at option to either keep renting it out and move overseas or sell it off and invest more of the money and move overseas.

Lots of my friends moved out earlier then i did and they did fine also, it just takes longer to save for a place that's all but there are perks to moving out and it is good for personal growth.

Post: #14

22 and I'm moving out of my parents' very soon.

I was supposed to do it way earlier but I was such a fuck up for the past years that it took quite a lot of time to get my life back on track.

As much as I appreciate the comfort that has been provided to me, I can't wait to finally live on my own.

Post: #15

I had this same conversation twice yesterday, once with the chick that cuts my hair and later that evening with my brother over drinks...

The day after my high school graduation ceremony I moved out of my parents house and into the bachelor quarters at a Forest Service ranger station where I worked. It actually was quite glorious not to mention educational to be able to live with a dozen older men at that point in my life.

In addition to OP's question, yesterday the question kept coming up of what do you do as a parent if your kids don't seem to want to move out? As a father how long am I expected to take care of my kid after they turn 18? Both my kids are in their teens and show no desire to leave home both stating that being over 18 and living at home gives them the ability to do whatever they want but not have to have any responsibility.

Post: #16

When I was sixteen I moved to Europe to live with a host country and study at a local high school, this was in the late 90s so internet was basically non existent and there were definitely no smart phones with translator apps so I had to learn the language the old fashion way. It was tough and it took me a few months to even like the place but I made some good friends and learned the language and by the end of the year I didn't want to leave, it was by far the best decision I ever made.

Post: #17

(07-22-2017 01:11 AM)Dunder Wrote:  @veloce thanks for your response the summary was good.

@wi30 why didn't your brother follow through??

Inertia.

Having no bills and stacking 80% of your salary in the bank tends to make one risk-adverse.

I moved out at 18 and spent 3 summers or so back home due to living in various states and 9-month leases in college.

I prefer my freedom and independence over having $70k in the bank. I'm working towards it of course, but it takes longer on your own.

Post: #18

What age did you move out?

23. I had an argument with my mother and left the house for 2 weeks, sleeping in the car. One of those weeks was a work vacation, so I went to the mountains for that time and during it I realised that I had to depart. I was paying my mum rent anyway, so it wasn't worth paying her money to have zero freedom. When I got back, she was supportive about my decision.

What living arrangements did you move into?

I moved in with just one girl, she was a bit older than me, was obese and put up a nice front. Tried to be friends with me, invite me downstairs to watch TV, eat take out but I wasn't interested. She took it personally and became a bit of a bitch. She was also one of those chronic "I'm going to diet" types that never stick with it.

Things came to a head when her druggie boyfriend moved in, he got her on the stuff and I essentially locked myself away in my room. 6 months after I moved in, she asked me to move out and even on the last night she came in my room after a night out, drunk as hell and started insulting me - at 1am. I'm literally gone the next day and she just couldn't leave it.

Why did you move out?

Answered above.

How long did you remain out of home before returning?

I came back 4 years later, because I needed a simple arrangement before moving country and my things would already be at her house waiting to be flown over on return visits. By then I had already been in another two living arrangements - one with a much chilled guy (he had his own personal problems, but was a reasonable landlord to his tenants), and another with my best friend. Which came to an end when his wife moved in.

And finally any advice you guys have.

Depends if you're living alone or with others. If the latter, don't share with fat western archetype women. And if you like your isolation, tell them in advance in case they expect you to hang out with them in the common room or go into the city together.

Post: #19

Moved out at 18 and joined the military. Moved around the US several times, learned a lot. Volunteered for every opportunity that presented itself when it came to travelling around the world.

The best personal growth I've ever had always came in times of adversity and putting myself in uncomfortable or uncertain situations. I highly recommend leaving home sooner rather than later.

Post: #20

18... went to college.

parents helped me until I graduated at 23. After that i've been on my own & successful ever since...

Cue 24 about to turn 25 in a successful career, starting a real estate biz with my dad, and 2 others by myself.

Post: #21

People make fun of you if you still live with your parents after 18 in U.S.

If you are doing something constructive while living there, you dont need to worry about 'you live with parents? Lol' type of people.

I met few very well behaved girls and they were living with their parents. When they were embarrassed by it, I tried to assure them it's not bad thing at all.

Post: #22

I lived with my parents until I completed my BA. I got along well with my family, paid a rent that made me not feel like a POS moocher, but it was under market enough and the house came with food.

It really depends on your home life, I get along great with my family, so it wasn't a drag. As well, college roommates at best are a good time, but they'll definitely distract you.

After college I got a job far away, moved in with a friend in that town temporarily until I found a permanent spot via Craigslist.

I never moved back home after that, though I did effectively have to rely on debt to further my education

Post: #23

It is an important stage for any man. Living with parents is a constant challenge to your frame and this seeps into other areas of your life. It is difficult nowadays, especially with the housing situation in the U.K and student loans etc; but it is a necessary change.

Post: #24

When I was 15, I went to military high school and spent 4 years at dormitory. My university was in the same city I come from, but I still lived at dormitory. I visited home on weekends, but I never could live with my mother long-term.

A year ago I rented my first flat, but I let it go in May, because I spent two months on courses and now I am enjoying long holidays. When I see my savings with and without paying rent, it makes me think about sleeping in my office. I had no personal life in my work place anyway.

Moving away is really good thing, and it doesn´t matter how you do it. It´s of course a question of finance and lifestyle. When I rented my own flat, I thought finally I have my own home and place, where I can take girls. But it never became my home, just 4 white walls with bed I need to sleep in. There also wasn´t any girl in it, because I found LTR and never stayed in that city during weekend anyway. Now I am thinking about what will my housing situation look like in upcoming year and still can´t decide.

Post: #25

Move out or you will end up there much longer than you plan or want to. Your desire for freedom and building your own as a man should be much stronger than the desire for comfort at this point.

I have 3 siblings. My sister moved out at 18. I moved out during college. Moved back in for a month while I saved for a place from my new job. Was back out. I was 22 like you.

My older brother and lil sister stayed much longer. Older brother moves out a year ago at 33(in his defense he has been out before while traveling). My lil sister is still there at 23 and probably will be until my parents pass.