Post: #1

On most of my approaches I really struggle with making conversation and when I do get a decently long conversation of about 8 minutes or so, you can tell that really it is the girl giving us things to talk about - the source of the conversation is her, not me. So I was wondering if anyone has a good source or material, really anything useful to help me improve this area, or really just your thoughts on making conversations if you feel like contributing. I have watched videos on YouTube that are useless and found some books that are completely useless.

Given the critical importance of making conversation I'm really shocked the pick up/game industry doesn't seem to have solid, great stuff in this area.

Post: #2

There's a ton written here, maybe you're just entering the wrong terms in the search box.

Lessons in storytelling
Storytelling Resources & How do you tell a story
How did you become "more interesting"?
Turning Conversation into a interesting one
On Being Interesting

Off the cuff:
- Read "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie. This book is one of the best resources for any human. Lots of information on how to hold someone's attention, make them feel comfortable, build rapport.

- If you're doing day game, it's okay to ramble on longer - you just have to steer the conversation to an area you are comfortable with. If you're doing night game, you shouldn't have to talk too much. Be witty and communicate sexuality with your body language and eyes, tease them like they're your little sister (shoutout Kaotic) and escalate. Talking their ear off can be done if you're rejected for the kiss early on, but the talking is just building more comfort to try again - so keep the goal in mind.

- If you have hobbies or cool life experiences, those are good resources to expand upon. But a cool story is only cool if you tell it well. Just look at how girls tell stories - they're horrible. They pause at the wrong time, give you useless details, spoil the ending before the right time, emphasize dumb moments.

Take a few key stories or moments you've had and use them over and over with girls, honing the way you tell the story and paying attention to how the audience reacts every time.

- When you're talking, never go for logic, always go for feeling. That's my #1 way to build emotional rapport.

(04-26-2017 04:12 PM)Ringo Wrote:  Instead of asking a question the way people usually ask ("What's your favorite food?"), I'll start by dropping something about me ("I was walking here and for some reason I started to think about food. My grandma used to make the best lasagna, my family and I would eat it every Sunday at her place."), and then I'll pose an emotion eliciting question ("What did you enjoy eating the most when you were a kid?").

Instead of asking "So, what do you do for a living?", I'd ask "So, what did you want to be when you grew up?". And start exploring scenarios, tease them, and so on.

It's a subtle difference in intent and wording but it causes a very different response because you're always touching on emotion rather than just logic or straightforward thinking.

When you talk to people coming from emotion rather than linear/logic thinking, they tend to share intimate information with you which you can use to cold read them or tease them.

Post: #3

I'm not much a talker and never have been. But I learned early on that most people just like talking about themselves. And they are just waiting for their chance to talk.

So...find out what their interests are. Ask them about those. LISTEN to what they say. Ask questions about what they say. Even though you're not doing most of the talking, you're still leading the conversation by getting them to talk. Being interested (you'll have to fake this a lot) in what they say. They will be happy just to talk about shit they like.

Of course you'll have to talk at some point. Learn to be a good storyteller (like the links Ringo listed above). Most guys talk about the boring shit like how much $ they make or how much they can bench press. This is fine I guess, just make a good story from it.

And don't give her your life story in 1 hour. Keep it a little mysterious.

Post: #4

Thank you both for the help, especially Ringo, will check the listed links.

Post: #5

I've learned a lot from Bobby Rio and Juggler about communicating with women. Check them out. The key is to practice by approaching approaching & approaching more! The main thing about communicating with women is to constantly remain attractive in convo... while not ever getting to the point before getting her attracted just a little bit! To dangle that carrot in her face! You're probably a Point A to Point B type of guy if you struggle that much with Rambling.

Even after you read about it; you'll have to practice to get really good. A nice way to start is by going back and forth between making statement, and asking questions after your approach. Making statement puts your personality out there, and doesn't make the girl invest right off the bat in the conversation. Within that first 8 minute... ideally you'd like to talk for about 85 to 90% of it with no silence