Post: #1

Most often I'm the one who talk a lot more on the date. Girls rarely find the topics or talk much. Sometimes I will allow for some silence but after 10 seconds I will brake it. Also when there are luls in the conversation I will try to increase the energy because I'm afraid if I do not talk date will become boring. Basically I try to keep date fun but in the result of that I'm the one who is investing more. So how much do you talk and do you keep the silence until girl breaks it?

Post: #2

Early on (during initial approach, first few dates) it is lethal to run into silence. The issue is that silence feels awkward, awkwardness feels uncomfortable, and they will associate that uncomfortable feeling with you. The second things go silent, you have to be able to come up with something. Silence only becomes okay post-bang. If you feel like you are talking too much, work on your conversational style, and find ways to open them up. Similar questions can get very different results based on how they are worded. You always want them to be more open-ended (can't be answered by a yes or no or single sentence) and then even if the initial response isn't much, follow up and dig deeper. Watch some good interview shows like Charlie Rose and see how he structures questions and draws things out of people. A lot of this is calibration, you have to get a feel for which topics have the most juice for a particular girl, and how to squeeze the juice out.

Post: #3

You can always ask her a question, then another question based on her answer, then interject a bit about how it reminds you of so and so, that time you did ___, ect. It's a basic formula to keep her mouth moving.

If she's not chatty it usually has to do with lack of attraction or comfort.

Some girls are just dull or have anxiety issues with strangers. I don't recommend dealing with these types of women.

Post: #4

It depends on your own personality and style. I'm m the total opposite to the OP, I talk a bit here and there but mainly it's the girls doing the talking.

I just sit back and listen, smile, nod, make good eye contact, I tease them a fair bit, talk a bit, ask some questions here and there to keep them going, make animated jokey facial responses to certain things to keep them laughing etc.

Not afraid of the odd bit of silence at all, just look them in the eye and smile, they will break it with something.
If you show you are relaxed with it, they usually will be.
But if you show your flapping, they will feel awkward.

It certainly seems to be unusual judging by what girls say but it works for me.

The most common things I hear them say at some point on a first date (In a lighthearted way) is that I make them feel either "a bit nervous", "like a giggly school girl again" or like "I'm analysing them".

Post: #5

I felt the same as the OP and began resenting it. I really hate it when I feel like I'm doing most of the work, especially for a bish who's not all that.
I followed some great advice from Rudebwoy in another thread and similarly mentioned above. Just smile and look them in the eye. Silence is only awkward when you are. When you're confidently quiet & pleasant they began to entertain you.

Post: #6

Didnt Roosh say something about rambling?

Post: #7

I used to blab a lot on the date because I feared that if there was any - God forbid - silence, then she would rationalise that means there was no chemistry™, whatever the fuck that is.

But now I don't mind, if there's silence I just let her re-engage and do some of the work. But, needless to say, too much silence is of course going to be a negative.

Post: #8

After I open a set, I keep talking for a while. Then, stop intentionally. Silence... If the girl starts the conversation, it is an IOI. She is interested, and don't want you to leave. I use this especially with the ones that I thought get hooked.

Post: #9

I consider it a good thing to get to a point on the first date where sitting silently together enjoying each other's company isn't awkward.

Once I decided that silence didn't need to be awkward, it wasn't any more.

Silence goes very well with handholding and other light, mutually initiated exploratory kino.

Post: #10

Yeah - silence doesn't have to be a bad thing.

I actually enjoy it sometimes because I don't feel like the ball is in my court, I feel like it's in theirs. I often see silence as a chance I give them to lead the interaction for a moment, start a subject they're interested in, touch my hands, whatever. It's a thermometer of the interaction.

Having said that, sometimes it doesn't work. Maybe the girl is shy or awkward, maybe the chemistry is off.

Off the top of my head, these are some ways that I break the silence:

- Tell a story. It can be about literally anything as long as it's endearing or funny - by that I mean actually funny, not like that time you and your buddies did some weak shit. You can tell any story if you preface it right: "I was walking here and for some reason I thought of a time I..."; "I was watching TV today and saw an old lady like my grandma. This one time...", "You know, I had a weird dream tonight...", etc.

- Look at her for a while (scan her upper body) and say "Let me see your hands". Grab them, turn them upside down, like you're studying them. Take you time with it. Then do a cold read. It can be serious, funny, absurd - it's up to you.
"Your hands are so soft. You're probably not good a very good carpenter"
"Wow rough palms. Do you work out much?"
"You have some mad long fingers. Like an alien. How do you like Earth so far?"

- This is my favorite: stare, cock your head to the side and squint. Think DiCaprio in Inception, but less intense:



They will 100% start talking:
"What is it?"
"What are you thinking?"
"What's wrong?"
"What are you looking at?"

I love it because it puts them on the edge for a moment. Just a little touch dread.

Then you go:
"I can't believe it", with a serious tone.

They'll freak out.

And then you pull something from earlier on during the interaction:

Girl: Oh my God, what is it?? Did I do something wrong?
Ringo: *Long pause to build suspense* I still can't believe you prefer tea over coffee.

If you get a laugh and/or punch to the shoulder, you're doing it right. Tension and release.

Post: #11

Sounds like the thread-starter was a troll. Regardless, this was an interesting discussion. I am a strong conversationalist and rarely run out of things to say, so never really had to explore silence in an interaction, it's great to see how other guys are utilizing silence in a non-awkward way through kino and non-verbal communication.

Ringo, I love your tension and release move, will start testing it out.

Post: #12

@Ringo Great post!

Silence should be welcomed only to turn it to your advantage...

The old ROK article about the dominance experiment is one of them (worth the the read)

Quote:When she arrives, continue doing something for about 30 seconds or so such as checking email or typing on your phone. Let her start talking, sit down, walk around, anything. What she’s doing is irrelevant. Get up and walk towards her and WITHOUT SAYING A SINGLE WORD, start kissing her. She will likely say things like “What are you doing?” or “What’s going on?” or “I thought we were doing ____, are we not?” or whatever else her now confused mind will blurt out. The key is again to NOT SAY A SINGLE WORD DURING THE ENTIRE TIME. Continue kissing her, then groping her, then move towards sex. Rip off her clothing. Be a fucking caveman. By now she should be flowing like a waterfall. Bang her hard and well.

I want to thank Law Dogger for this golden nugget, I used it multiple time and each time it worked more than well.
Now for those who'll take it litterally, read it multiples times you might find that silence is part of the trick and how to use it to your advantage.

Post: #13

I actually want to experiment with going on first dates based on the agreement that we won't say a word to each other.

Post: #14

This weekend I've experimented with vacuming. I allowed silence in conversation while keeping intense eye contact. Mostly girls break the silence themselves. It make them work and allowed me to chillout. VACUMING HAS IMPROVED MY INTERACTIONS ALOT!

Post: #15

Ringo dropping fire.

I went on a date this past weekend. I am an extremely slow eater. She was done within 10 minutes but I ate for an additional 20-30 min. I made it clear that I was there to eat. She had to sit there while I finished my meal and drank water. Fucked afterwards.

Post: #16

If you're talking about a date in public, I usually break the silence after 10 seconds. If I run into a girl who has clearly no personality and says nothing except nodding and acknowledging, I break the boredom by taking her to a movie (and making a move).

Post: #17

I've never been on a date with a girl who wasn't talkative. Usually they all like to chit-chat and ramble about various things in their life, you just have to learn how to steer the conversation. It's not difficult to do, just follow the technique Roosh outlined in his day game guide.

However, after you've kissed her on the first date, extended periods of silence are quite normal and won't harm your efforts.

Post: #18

Why should silence be a bad thing? Its quite the opposite. I love silence.
Its something you have to learn, specialy as a man to be okay with a moment of silence. Doesnt mean you have a date and you guys talk nothing, but being okay with 2-3mins just doing nothing creates a tension. I used to hate that tension cause it feels "akward". Meditation helped me a lot to be okay with it and women (at least in my case) liked it. One girl even said to me that she likes men that can be quit for 5min because most of her dates just talked for the sake of it. My dates even skyrocket since i create this sexy tension with silence and sometimes a girl even kisses you cause she cant stand the feelings silence does.

Edit: Read the book: "Sparks of Attraction" from Nick Sparks. Helped me a lot to talk less and get more results working with tensions a silence moment gives you.

Post: #19

Think about how you would communicate to a girl without saying anything that you are strongly attracted to her and want to have sex her.

What would you do with your eyes?
What would you do with your hands?
What would you do with your body?

That is much more powerful than words.