Post: #1

I'm finding it a little stressful to have a g.f. and game on the side.

Do others find gaming stressful, and more specifically, gaming other girls while you have a girlfriend (not openly).

Maybe it's partially this:

In psychology, cognitive dissonance is the mental stress (discomfort) experienced by a person who simultaneously holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values; when performing an action that contradicts one of those beliefs, ideas, or values; or when confronted with new information that contradicts one of ...
Cognitive dissonance - Wikipedia

What's a good mindset or frame for more peace of mind?

Post: #2

Don't do things that are against your values.

If you're gonna cheat you better enjoy it, otherwise what's the point?

Post: #3

How do women feel about their bf/husband when they are exercising hypergamy? Answer: They don't.

Adapt that mindset.

Post: #4

If you've identified someone as being gf-worthy, why the need to cheat? Conversely, if you're interested in hooking up, why be with a gf?

Post: #5

I had a 2 year LTR- during that time I had 2 mini LTR's and slept with a bunch of women.

It's NOT for the faint of heart - but I didn't have any qualms about it.

As fucked up or hypocritical as it sounds - my love was only for my LTR and the other girls were just fun or a convenience for me.

And YES it can be stressful - making sure your phone is locked down, always having to recon your room to make sure the last girl didn't leave shit or hair behind, etc.

It's always been a risk/reward situation. Typically the rewards always outweighed the risks.

I only got caught, but I matched my LTR's old friend on their, she hit up my LTR to give her a heads up.

I parlayed that into saying it was a "crazy stalker ex" who was trying to ruin my life, I got random texts because she gave my number out, etc.

It worked - because my LTR gave me the "what are we" and put me in an even better position.

We broke up because she wanted kids and marriage - I ended it on my terms.


Like I said, some stress will come from this, and you will worry a bit.

If it really bugs you - take a break - focus on your GF for awhile and see how you are.


Not all men are built to have a main girl and bang on the side - some don't have the bandwidth for it.

Post: #6

If you are going to play the game like this....

Get off social media.

Use a fake name.

Get a pimp phone OR get this app "Private SMS and Call" for android.

Post: #7

I have met girls who were OK with me sleeping around. Didn't end up being with them for long because I didn't like them that much.

Post: #8

Here's my two-cents:

Cheating while in a relationship provides you with the best of both worlds. You'll have the comfort and stability a long-term relationship provides whilst also getting to experience the novelty and excitement that comes from sexing some strange. One of the most important rules when it comes to relationships, is always be willing to walk away. When you're a man with options, you won't fear one (or more) women leaving you because you know they can be easily replaced. This allows you to operate from a position of strength not weakness.

Also, when you get in arguments with your main bitch, you won't stress so much because you realize how trivial it is anyway. It almost becomes theater where you have to act like you give a fuck to a certain extent, but you really don't. She can either get with your program, or she can fuck off. Same goes with dealing with your side bitches.

Girls like to say guys can't commit. This is bullshit. I'm fully committed to myself.

Post: #9

(05-05-2017 01:58 PM)LeoneVolpe Wrote:  Here's my two-cents:

Cheating while in a relationship provides you with the best of both worlds. You'll have the comfort and stability a long-term relationship provides whilst also getting to experience the novelty and excitement that comes from sexing some strange. One of the most important rules when it comes to relationships, is always be willing to walk away. When you're a man with options, you won't fear one (or more) women leaving you because you know they can be easily replaced. This allows you to operate from a position of strength not weakness.

Also, when you get in arguments with your main bitch, you won't stress so much because you realize how trivial it is anyway. It almost becomes theater where you have to act like you give a fuck to a certain extent, but you really don't. She can either get with your program, or she can fuck off. Same goes with dealing with your side bitches.

Girls like to say guys can't commit. This is bullshit. I'm fully committed to myself.

Great! + 1 from me.

Post: #10

(05-05-2017 02:07 PM)Freebird Flying Wrote:  

(05-05-2017 01:58 PM)LeoneVolpe Wrote:  Here's my two-cents:

Cheating while in a relationship provides you with the best of both worlds. You'll have the comfort and stability a long-term relationship provides whilst also getting to experience the novelty and excitement that comes from sexing some strange. One of the most important rules when it comes to relationships, is always be willing to walk away. When you're a man with options, you won't fear one (or more) women leaving you because you know they can be easily replaced. This allows you to operate from a position of strength not weakness.

Also, when you get in arguments with your main bitch, you won't stress so much because you realize how trivial it is anyway. It almost becomes theater where you have to act like you give a fuck to a certain extent, but you really don't. She can either get with your program, or she can fuck off. Same goes with dealing with your side bitches.

Girls like to say guys can't commit. This is bullshit. I'm fully committed to myself.

Great! + 1 from me.

Thank you sir.

Post: #11

There is no need to cheat. Even for LTRs, I make it clear to the girl that I am fucking other chicks on the side, and will continue to do so.

In my opinion, the idea that you have to promise exclusivity in order to have an LTR betrays a weakness in your inner game. If the girl likes you enough, she should agree to the relationship on whatever terms you set out.

Promising exclusivity and then cheating results in a lot of extra work on your part--so why would you do that if it's not necessary? If you want to bang other girls, just tell your main that you're gonna bang other girls.

Post: #12

I've cheated in the past but i did it because i love the thrill of hunting new pussy.
I was using an app that was a gold mine for me. It has since been changed and doesn't work properly
I was thinking " it's never going to get better than this, so i better take advantage"

I didn't want to hurt my gf because i do care about her a lot.
I bought a pay-as-you-go sim card and put it in my old iphone that i use as my ipod in my car.
It demanded a lot of discipline on my part but i had fun fucking strange pussy that i normally wouldn't have a chance to meet in my everyday life.

Looking back i'd probably do it again, it made me realize and appreciate how rare a solid ltr gf is. Most women are fucking useless for anything other than a few fucks.

Post: #13

(05-05-2017 11:12 AM)kaotic Wrote:  I had a 2 year LTR- during that time I had 2 mini LTR's and slept with a bunch of women.

It's NOT for the faint of heart - but I didn't have any qualms about it.

As fucked up or hypocritical as it sounds - my love was only for my LTR and the other girls were just fun or a convenience for me.

This is not fucked up at all, it is perfectly normal. Often, side girls make you appreciate (and love) your LTR MORE.

Post: #14

If you want to have your cake and eat it too, explain the game plan to your plates.

Be as OPEN and HONEST as possible about it. Sexpositive, that's what the libtards all want right?

The irony is and in my own experience doing this is that it goes in one ear and out the other with women.
"He's a guy, it's hard for guys to get dates so why should I care?"

Even the most hardened of sluts get jealous if they find out you're banging other women on the side.

So take your pick on how you want to proceed, but understand when it comes to stuff like this that women will and undoubtedly do get jealous and cause all sorts of issues.

In other words: Your mileage may vary.

Post: #15

There's a difference in my mind between spinning plates and cheating. Cheating is about breaking an agreement of exclusivity. Spinning plates is what it is, dating multiple women without seriously committing to any of them. There are pros and cons to each no doubt.

The primary benefit to cheating, as far as I can tell, although it's admittedly very hypocritical, is getting to have your cake and eat it, too. You don't have to worry about your main girl cheating because she's committed to you and only you. You, on the other hand, have the ability to go and do whatever you want.

If you're spinning plates, you'll have the ability to bang as many sluts as you want, but you won't have the same comfort and stability of knowing you've got someone waiting for you at home. Now perhaps that doesn't sound like a big deal to you. Perhaps you're just in it for the sex, but after a while of just sexing random bitches, you'll develop player fatigue. It happens to the best of us. It all starts feeling somewhat "empty" and you'll long for something more substantial. Cheating is a way, albeit a very dirty one, of not having to compromise your paradoxical need for stability/excitement.

Post: #16

(05-05-2017 02:35 PM)Menace Wrote:  

(05-05-2017 11:12 AM)kaotic Wrote:  I had a 2 year LTR- during that time I had 2 mini LTR's and slept with a bunch of women.

It's NOT for the faint of heart - but I didn't have any qualms about it.

As fucked up or hypocritical as it sounds - my love was only for my LTR and the other girls were just fun or a convenience for me.

This is not fucked up at all, it is perfectly normal. Often, side girls make you appreciate (and love) your LTR MORE.

This actually became very apparent in the middle of my relationship with my LTR - the 2 mini LTR's became emotionally unstable after they realized I wouldn't commit.

(05-05-2017 04:19 PM)LeoneVolpe Wrote:  There's a difference in my mind between spinning plates and cheating. Cheating is about breaking an agreement of exclusivity. Spinning plates is what it is, dating multiple women without seriously committing to any of them. There are pros and cons to each no doubt.

The primary benefit to cheating, as far as I can tell, although it's admittedly very hypocritical, is getting to have your cake and eat it, too. You don't have to worry about your main girl cheating because she's committed to you and only you. You, on the other hand, have the ability to go and do whatever you want.

If you're spinning plates, you'll have the ability to bang as many sluts as you want, but you won't have the same comfort and stability of knowing you've got someone waiting for you at home. Now perhaps that doesn't sound like a big deal to you. Perhaps you're just in it for the sex, but after a while of just sexing random bitches, you'll develop player fatigue. It happens to the best of us. It all starts feeling somewhat "empty" and you'll long for something more substantial. Cheating is a way, albeit a very dirty one, of not having to compromise your paradoxical need for stability/excitement.

These are important to point out.

Player fatigue indeed does happen, this why spinning plates are important.

You enjoy your LTR and get side bangs with the plates you have, instead of hunting for new ones.

Stability & Excitement indeed is what I was looking for.

I had a great stable LTR - but loved the hunt and sharpening my skillset when it came to banging women.

Post: #17

(05-05-2017 04:19 PM)LeoneVolpe Wrote:  There's a difference in my mind between spinning plates and cheating. Cheating is about breaking an agreement of exclusivity. Spinning plates is what it is, dating multiple women without seriously committing to any of them. There are pros and cons to each no doubt.

Cheating has never been in my dna, and I tried it last year. It didn't work out for me, it goes against my own integrity. I think it negatively affected other parts of my life too, and turned her into a vicious beast. Had someone do that to me, even slightly with flirty texts and what not, I go apeshit. And no, I dont believe all women cheat. Anyone will stray if you treat them poorly. Nothing is guaranteed, especially if you are a dick.

If you are not open and honest, you're wimping out. My policy is honesty. I always say I am seeing other women now, and that is our agreement. Almost all women will agree to this, even if they protest at first. If you are discrete and treat her well shes fine with the honesty. You dont even need to talk her into it, just be quiet and wait it out when she protests. But, however, if I ever truly commit exclusivity to a woman again, I intend to honor that and take it very seriously.

Post: #18

(05-05-2017 04:43 PM)Vaun Wrote:  If you are not open and honest, you're wimping out. My policy is honesty. I always say I am seeing other women now, and that is our agreement. Almost all women will agree to this, even if they protest at first. If you are discrete and treat her well shes fine with the honesty. You dont even need to talk her into it, just be quiet and wait it out when she protests. But, however, if I ever truly commit exclusivity to a woman again, I intend to honor that and take it very seriously.

Wimping out sounds alot like "manning up".

Here's my reasoning behind NOT being open and honest.

By telling a woman you're in an LTR with that you're opening yourself to attack.

(Keep I'm talking more than 6 months + as an LTR candidate)

Her hamster will probably tell her, "well if HE'S banging other women, that means I CAN hope on some other dick"

A loyal good woman probably won't stand for you banging other women and leave - a slutty woman will stay in and extract any value she can from you, all the while probably hopping on other dick.

RARELY, will a good woman stick around and not protest you banging other women.

If you're able to do so, goddamn, my hats off to you, and you've got some killer game.

The other part of this are the other risks you take with telling her you're banging other women and that's how you roll:

-Bring her crazy out (think Lorena Bobbitt style)
-STD risks increase twofold (you and her)
-Pregnancy (possibly being cucked), a nightmare until DNA tests
-Possible rape charges in the future
-Unnecessary drama on her part, constant fights
-Fucked up sex rythm

I mean the list goes on why I would never tell her - frankly it's never a woman's business who you're sleeping with if you take the proper precautions.

Post: #19

Vaun, I respect that, but I do believe in the concept of "to each their own." Cheating is not for everybody, and even the people who can deal with doing it, may not want to go on doing it indefinitely. Life's short. They say that on your deathbed you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did. Perhaps that's a fallacy, but it's good enough for me. If I'm in a relationship and I go out with some buddies and wind up meeting a hot blonde that's into me at a party, I'd hate to miss out on an opportunity to tag it just because I'm in a relationship. I'm fully aware this is completely hypocritical, and perhaps others might say that if I feel that way about it, why am I with whatever girl I'm with at the time -- but here's the deal, it all goes back to paradoxical need for stability/excitement.

Humans are conflicted. We have a contradictory need for certainty and uncertainty. If we have too much certainty, we become bored and feel unfulfilled. If we have too much uncertainty, life feels chaotic and scary. Cheating bridges the gap between those two states. It's not a one-size fits all approach, not everyone can handle doing it. I'm not advocating for everyone to do it, but it can work for some people. I would never say you were wrong for feeling the way you do. While I understand that from a certain viewpoint cheating is immoral, it doesn't mean it can't be useful.

Kaotic, I completely agree with what you said above. If I hadn't already given you a +1, I would for what you've said in this thread.

Post: #20

(05-05-2017 04:54 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(05-05-2017 04:43 PM)Vaun Wrote:  If you are not open and honest, you're wimping out. My policy is honesty. I always say I am seeing other women now, and that is our agreement. Almost all women will agree to this, even if they protest at first. If you are discrete and treat her well shes fine with the honesty. You dont even need to talk her into it, just be quiet and wait it out when she protests. But, however, if I ever truly commit exclusivity to a woman again, I intend to honor that and take it very seriously.

Wimping out sounds alot like "manning up".

Here's my reasoning behind NOT being open and honest.

By telling a woman you're in an LTR with that you're opening yourself to attack.

Nah, I would never shake my finger in a mans face like that. I am not calling anyone out here.

But, my belief, and experience, is not being open and honest opens you up to an EVEN WORSE ATTACK.

@Kaotic - from my experience, the crazy happens when you go behind their back and are not open and honest up front. My experience is different from yours, when I am totally honest and up front, or just refrain from promising anything, things sail along just fine. Ironically, those relationships last for years.

My thought is; once she finds out you're cheating, after you're "in love", she will fuck your life over. Hard. With a vengeance. Cold hearted shit. And then leave you when she is done. Then what if you get your main pregnant? Why even go there? No reason to sneak around, the limitless downside outweighs any benefits of comfort at home.

Post: #21

Passing up sex with other girls to remain faithful to a girl who, in all likelihood, you won't be with a year from now is something some guys don't want to deal with. Your mileage may vary. There's risks involved in everything. Some might argue that when it comes to risk, the biggest risk is taking no risks at all.

Post: #22

(05-05-2017 05:03 PM)LeoneVolpe Wrote:  Passing up sex with other girls to remain faithful to a girl who, in all likelihood, you won't be with a year from now is something some guys don't want to deal with. Your mileage may vary. There's risks involved in everything. Some might argue that when it comes to risk, the biggest risk is taking no risks at all.

Then why promise anything? And I would guess most experienced men here are promising exclusivity to wife material. Its a serious ask. I would hope at least in this day and age, you dont have to promise exclusivity just to have sex. And your premise assumes all women cheat. I know that is not the case. Is it in their nature to look when you drop the ball? Of course.

Unless you try its hard to fathom it. Women dont care if you are non-exclusive, if you dont promise otherwise. And they know when you are fucking someone else. Then they cheat on you anyway. So why make dumb empty promises?

Post: #23

I believe kaotic already covered some of the things you're asking about.

Post: #24

If your woman finds out you're seeing another woman behind her back, of course she's going to flip out. But I don't see how being honest with a woman about seeing other women after you've been seeing each other for a while does anything to mitigate a negative response.

Let's say you take the approach of spinning plates and being honest about what you're doing. If a girl really likes you, what's to stop her from dropping by your house to try and spy on you with the other girls she KNOWS you're dating? What keeps such a woman from skipping her birth control in an effort to trap you into entering in an exclusive relationship? The bottom line is -- when you're dealing with women, bad things can happen if you cheat, but bad things can happen if you're honest about spinning plates.

Being honest with a woman violates the "Conceal Your Intentions" Law of Power, by giving her information she can then use against you. A woman might eventually end up in a position to hurt you anyway, but I wouldn't be quick to provide her with a useful blueprint on how to potentially do it.

In my experience, honesty (especially as it relates to women) isn't always the best policy.

Post: #25

Some questions I have wrestled with:

1) Is cheating on your LTR immoral?
2) Does it speak to your integrity as a man if you are willing to cheat on a girl you obviously like enough to be with, considering how potentially devastated she'd be if she ever found out?
3) Is it fair that we've been cursed with a non-monogamous urge in a culture that unwisely promotes monogamy as the only real option for pair-bonding?
4) Why should I play by my culture's rules?
5) Is it possible to be emotionally committed to someone while being sexually promiscuous?

It's only about 5 months into a new relationship when my eye starts to wander. I've acted on the urge many times. On one occasion I started dating a girl and experimented with honesty; telling her I really dug her, but I have a few side plates I may not be able to give up. She blocked me a few days later.

The questions above are important ones. But I'll never be able to answer them objectively.