Post: #1

For the purposes of this thread, a "car city" is defined as a city where one needs a car to get around (e.g., LA, Houston, Miami), and a "non-car city" is one where a car is unnecessary (e.g., NYC, Chicago, Boston).

Question

Do you handle things any differently when setting up the logistics of a first date in a car city versus a non-car city?

Background

I live in a non-car city and do not own a car (by choice). When arranging my first dates, I always have the girl meet me out at the venue I've chosen. This has never been a problem. However, recently I met a girl who just moved here from Miami. She's very sexy and we hit it off. A few days later I successfully executed my standard texting routine, and got her to enthusiastically agree to a date the following evening. I told her to meet me at Venue X at 9pm. She responded saying she was new to the city and didn't know where that was. I responded with the intersection and a nearby landmark for reference, and added something along the lines of "think you can find it?" She never responded after that. I didn't follow up with her, we didn't have our date, and we haven't spoken since.

When thinking about why this may have happened, the idea came to mind that since she's accustomed to living in a car city, perhaps she's used to the guy offering to pick her up for the first date. Maybe she was turned off by the fact that I was going to make her drive herself or take a cab to the date. I also thought that perhaps her comment about not knowing the location of the venue was just a cue for me to offer to pick her up. It's also extremely possible that she just wasn't into me and just liked the attention, but I wanted to explore all possibilities in case I encounter more new arrivals to the city.

What do you guys think? Do you ever offer to pick the girl up in certain circumstances, or do you always have her meet you out? If the former is recommended, I'd have to pick her up in a taxi and just say I don't drink and drive, haha.

-LS

Post: #2

It's possible that she wasn't that serious about seeing you in the first place and used a "i dont know where it is" type of excuse to let you down easy.

Otherwise I don't think this one case should cause you to change a game that has been working for you. I would let it happen at least two more times before considering to change tactics.

Post: #3

Just about every time I've left my spot for a first date, I've regretted it.

A girl like that is slippery as hell - if you did meet up with her, God knows if you'll get a second date, unless you bang her. And to get a bang on the first date, your logistics have to be top notch. At least in my experience, inviting yourself into a girl's place on a first date, when you're both sober, doesn't work. It's easy peasy to invite her into yours, if she digs you. (I say sober because I just won't drink much if I've driven.)

I live in a car city. I'm convinced you're throwing away bangs if you don't meet at a venue nearby:
1. She parks at your house: She has to come back to your place.
2. She drives to you, you can drink as much you god damn well please, and make her do the same.
3. You know exactly where to take her, where you can talk amiably, kiss, and discreetly finger.
4. On your walk back, you entice her into your house with that new Jack Johnson album on your $10 PC speakers.

Good Logistics = Escalation friendly settings + Smooth transitions

Mack, attack, move. Spit that game, touch her, then effortlessly move somewhere you can touch more. Rinse and repeat.

Post: #4

Thanks for the feedback. Yes I was pretty much under the impression that she just wasn't as interested as I'd thought, but this other notion came to me so I figured I'd at least solicit some other opinions. You'd think if she were truly interested she wouldn't mind taking a cab or whatever, but some broads (especially very attractive ones) can be very stubborn and set in their ways.

basilransom,

My typical tactic is very much like what you've proposed here. If it's a suburb girl who I know is driving into the city to meet me, I have her park on the street by my place then we walk to a lounge nearby. Obviously we then have to later come back by my apartment and I invite her up for "one last drink" or whatever it may be. If it's a girl who already lives in the city and is likely not driving to our date, I have her meet me at the lounge, then propose a little walk afterwards where we, of course, walk right by my building. Either way it's usually pretty effective.

The moral of the story is that I won't change any of my tactics and will just assume this particular broad wasn't interested. Onward and upward!

-LS

Post: #5

First mistake you made has nothing to do with the topic of the thread. "She never responded after that. I didn't follow up with her, we didn't have our date, and we haven't spoken since."

I was just looking at a girls phone a little while ago and she had over 40 unread text messages. She may have very well not seen your text. If she is really busy (she just moved so likely yes) or is a little unfocused she's going to miss your text. May be she noticed it a couple of days later and then felt to shy to text you back. I do text -- no response, 2 weeks later text -- is everything alright, I haven't heard from you? (once a girl was actually in a car accident.) Make sure that second text sounds urgent. After that I let things wait for a while, generally will do a facebook or email after that second one.

I've said it in other threads and I'm going to keep saying it until other people say it. Girls miss their text messages. Sometimes your text don't make it through the network. Girls lose their cellphones (always note if a girl uses a prepaid phone.) Girls drop their phones and break them. Girls get arrested and spend a few nights in jail. Half the time a girl doesn't respond to me, its because one of those 3 issues.

If you gave up after she didn't respond to one text, you fucked up.

Post: #6

(08-28-2011 09:35 PM)babelfish669 Wrote:  Girls get arrested and spend a few nights in jail.

99.99% of girls over a 7.5 never spend more than 1 night in jail, and usually it's only a few hours.

I say if a girl stops communicating abruptly, I don't care if it was on the news that she got run over by a truck while texting you specifically, do not try to contact her ever again. This has only been my policy recently and the five that I've tried it on since putting it into motion have called me within a week. They want you to send them "Hey are you ok" type messages because women are crazy.

In non-car cities, I've gone to wherever girls are and picked them up at their door. Bring an umbrella or something else and leave it at her house. Be cool about it and don't make it obvious that you just want to go back later. Make it something not that valuable though in case you want to bail on her.

Aloha!

Post: #7

I would say that it is a mixture of both. Maybe she was not that interested and maybe the fact of you not having a car messed up everything, i believe more in the second one.

Hot women from car cities usually associate a ''a good looking guy" (a guy they may want to fuck in other words) with a guy that drives. They come from a city where every guy that hits on them drive, even the brokest ones.

This is one of the reasons many guys go to places like brazil and dont hit a lot (or at all in many cases), i just think to myself is because you were not driving, them bitches aint giving you ass if you aint driving (that particurlaly goes to salvadorian bitches).

If a car doesnt really make a difference where you live i would just forget this girl and move on and even if the car was the factor, i wouldnt go to her house and pick her up with a taxi. I would just move on.

But rent a car when you go to a car city home boy.

Post: #8

(08-28-2011 11:23 AM)basilransom Wrote:  Just about every time I've left my spot for a first date, I've regretted it.

A girl like that is slippery as hell - if you did meet up with her, God knows if you'll get a second date, unless you bang her. And to get a bang on the first date, your logistics have to be top notch. At least in my experience, inviting yourself into a girl's place on a first date, when you're both sober, doesn't work. It's easy peasy to invite her into yours, if she digs you. (I say sober because I just won't drink much if I've driven.)

I live in a car city. I'm convinced you're throwing away bangs if you don't meet at a venue nearby:
1. She parks at your house: She has to come back to your place.
2. She drives to you, you can drink as much you god damn well please, and make her do the same.
3. You know exactly where to take her, where you can talk amiably, kiss, and discreetly finger.
4. On your walk back, you entice her into your house with that new Jack Johnson album on your $10 PC speakers.

Good Logistics = Escalation friendly settings + Smooth transitions

Mack, attack, move. Spit that game, touch her, then effortlessly move somewhere you can touch more. Rinse and repeat.

Leaving in the same car city I completely agree. Too many variables kick in if you dont manage to enforce your dating routine. I have been trying to keep my mind open to be able to adapt and improvise and meet girls in other places, but overall I cant deny the evidence: every time I step away from my consolidated dating routine, in a car city, I never seal the deal. Logistics are too important in a place like LA.
And girls are FULLY AWARE of it and act accordingly, depending on what they want (validation-date or a bang).

Post: #9

(08-29-2011 05:16 AM)Kona Wrote:  

(08-28-2011 09:35 PM)babelfish669 Wrote:  Girls get arrested and spend a few nights in jail.

99.99% of girls over a 7.5 never spend more than 1 night in jail, and usually it's only a few hours.

I say if a girl stops communicating abruptly, I don't care if it was on the news that she got run over by a truck while texting you specifically, do not try to contact her ever again. This has only been my policy recently and the five that I've tried it on since putting it into motion have called me within a week. They want you to send them "Hey are you ok" type messages because women are crazy.

In non-car cities, I've gone to wherever girls are and picked them up at their door. Bring an umbrella or something else and leave it at her house. Be cool about it and don't make it obvious that you just want to go back later. Make it something not that valuable though in case you want to bail on her.

Aloha!

This is pure gold, especially true with not contacting them again.

Post: #10

Great thread topic. Being in a massive car city as I am, I can barely remember the last time I met a girl who lives within a 30 minute one way drive. A girl is much more likely to flake if she has to get on the freeway and drive half an hour for the first date. Whatever you do you have to makes logistics very easy for them at the beginning. When I meet up for the first time I always set up a date at a spot near her house so she doesn't have to get on the freeway, which here means traffic during all waking hours. One less major reason for her to flake.

On a similar note I'd say to all guys who are considering relocating to a car city...logistics, logistics, logistics. Pick a neighborhood in a central denser part of town where you are in walking distance of nightlife. It'll make your life so much easier. Can't emphasize that enough.

Post: #11

Yeah, I'm from a car city like speakeasy. Sometimes I'll have the girl meet me halfway and park her car somewhere where it won't get towed. I like being in my area and this is a lot easier to bring them back to my crib. "I left my wallet at home. We're going to stop by for a second"

Post: #12

(08-28-2011 09:35 PM)babelfish669 Wrote:  First mistake you made has nothing to do with the topic of the thread. "She never responded after that. I didn't follow up with her, we didn't have our date, and we haven't spoken since."

I was just looking at a girls phone a little while ago and she had over 40 unread text messages. She may have very well not seen your text. If she is really busy (she just moved so likely yes) or is a little unfocused she's going to miss your text. May be she noticed it a couple of days later and then felt to shy to text you back. I do text -- no response, 2 weeks later text -- is everything alright, I haven't heard from you? (once a girl was actually in a car accident.) Make sure that second text sounds urgent. After that I let things wait for a while, generally will do a facebook or email after that second one.

I've said it in other threads and I'm going to keep saying it until other people say it. Girls miss their text messages. Sometimes your text don't make it through the network. Girls lose their cellphones (always note if a girl uses a prepaid phone.) Girls drop their phones and break them. Girls get arrested and spend a few nights in jail. Half the time a girl doesn't respond to me, its because one of those 3 issues.

If you gave up after she didn't respond to one text, you fucked up.

If you really believe this, I think you need to stop kidding yourself. Girls are phone whores...they're on those things all day long. If they don't respond within several hours it's because they're not interested. A girl losing her phone may be the reason 1 out of every 1000 times, if that. A girl getting arrested...come on. Really?

Post: #13

(08-29-2011 05:16 AM)Kona Wrote:  

(08-28-2011 09:35 PM)babelfish669 Wrote:  Girls get arrested and spend a few nights in jail.

99.99% of girls over a 7.5 never spend more than 1 night in jail, and usually it's only a few hours.

I say if a girl stops communicating abruptly, I don't care if it was on the news that she got run over by a truck while texting you specifically, do not try to contact her ever again. This has only been my policy recently and the five that I've tried it on since putting it into motion have called me within a week. They want you to send them "Hey are you ok" type messages because women are crazy.

In non-car cities, I've gone to wherever girls are and picked them up at their door. Bring an umbrella or something else and leave it at her house. Be cool about it and don't make it obvious that you just want to go back later. Make it something not that valuable though in case you want to bail on her.

Aloha!

I've just moved to a non-car city and I'm still trying to figure it out. Interesting advice. So do you end up having to find a new date spot every time since you're going to where the girl is? Any dating success I've had before generally comes at places I've got on "lock-down". Seems like this strategy is kinda the opposite.

Post: #14

(09-01-2011 10:59 AM)Laser Wrote:  

(08-29-2011 05:16 AM)Kona Wrote:  

(08-28-2011 09:35 PM)babelfish669 Wrote:  Girls get arrested and spend a few nights in jail.

99.99% of girls over a 7.5 never spend more than 1 night in jail, and usually it's only a few hours.

I say if a girl stops communicating abruptly, I don't care if it was on the news that she got run over by a truck while texting you specifically, do not try to contact her ever again. This has only been my policy recently and the five that I've tried it on since putting it into motion have called me within a week. They want you to send them "Hey are you ok" type messages because women are crazy.

In non-car cities, I've gone to wherever girls are and picked them up at their door. Bring an umbrella or something else and leave it at her house. Be cool about it and don't make it obvious that you just want to go back later. Make it something not that valuable though in case you want to bail on her.

Aloha!

I've just moved to a non-car city and I'm still trying to figure it out. Interesting advice. So do you end up having to find a new date spot every time since you're going to where the girl is? Any dating success I've had before generally comes at places I've got on "lock-down". Seems like this strategy is kinda the opposite.

Honestly, I think that's a bad strategy. It's way way way easier to invite a girl into your own place, especially with some cheesy lure, than to wrench your way into hers, on a first date. Plus, if you're meeting up with girls you hardly know, eg from quick day game or online dating, they'll be very skittish about telling you their address.

I always tell the girl to come to me. Several times I've turned down girls because they wouldn't travel to me. It's the cost of doing bidness. Most girls will whine, and then agree to come to you.

Post: #15

In my experience, 90% of the time, girls want the guy to make the decision on when and where. This is so routine, I don't even ask for their input, or even which part of town they live in. So I make it easy for myself and have them come to a bar within 10 minutes walking of my flat.

The other 10%, I'll make concessions depending on their transportation situation, likeliness of flaking, how much time I have to spare, and how difficult of a bang I think it will be. If they get too fussy, I cancel. I think I've only gone to a different neighborhood than my own less than 5 times in the last 3 years (for a first meet.)

Post: #16

I live in a car city, and what has worked to me is meeting near my house (at mall usually), and telling her that I will drive her home. That way you have logistics at hand, and give her the security of meeting at a public place.