Post: #1

How do you overcome having a family you simply don't want to bring your girl around? It's become clear to me higher quality girls simply won't go along with a fucked up family situation.

Typical game with club sluts, fuck buddies, flings, etc... that's all good and fun but at 30 years old I start thinking about long term relationships and girls of that caliber typically come from good families.

I've finally had to admit myself I don't think a higher quality girl would want to be locked into my family. If I don't like it, why would she?

A girl gauges your social life and whether she sees herself being apart of your identity, if she fits into those people. I understand not everyone you know has to be a high value person, you can be friends with some weirdos or people she finds awkward, but overall she has to see herself fitting into your social life.

I've always had a bit of family problems that I think girls can sense something is off. I typically avoid the subject but that in itself sets off a red flag to them.

Lower quality girls, hoodrats, girls from broken homes, they don't care and it's not a big deal. But if you date a legit good girl I've noticed they care about your family situation a lot more.

I don't blame them, why would they put themselves near something they're not comfortable with? I know everyone has weirdos / black sheep in their family but she at least needs something to feel comfortable about it. I'm fairly lacking in that department.

It sucks because you can create a better social life and just about everything else about your game, but you'll notice the higher quality women care a lot about your family if they're considering being with you long term.

Post: #2

I get where you're coming from and understand how having a dysfunctional family might scare certain prospects away. However, having a dysfunctional family is one of the quickest routes to the red pill. What is a man but the sum of his experiences? You wouldn't be the man you are today if you hadn't gone through what you did. In life, you have to take the bad with the good.

As for this hypothetical "good girl"? Her shit stinks, too. Oh sure, she may act like she doesn't but rest assured she's got skeletons in her closet that she doesn't want discovered, either.

It would've been nice if you had a more functional family, but you didn't get that. So you have to learn to live without it. I know you've obviously learned to deal without it personally, but now you'll have to come to terms with it in regards to how it may impact your relationships. In short, you simply can't give someone something you don't have to give. If anything, this becomes a way of screening out girls who aren't all-in on you.

Post: #3

Just do what you can to be a better man, and have a good explanation (verbal, visual, etc.) for why you won't end up like them. There's plenty of fiction produced about men overcoming their bad family members. My mom had reservations about my dad since most of his family was divorced or had marital issues. But he had a good personality and work ethic so they've been together for nearly 30 years without major issues.

Post: #4

Own it man, agree and amplify. It is what it is and when you apply game principles running from this or trying to avoid it isn't really red pill.
I think you gotta let her know up front that you worked really hard to become who you are and who/what your family is. And let her make her decision for herself.
Control the frame, keep playing the game, you have nothing to fear imo.

Post: #5

I don't know the answer.

I've always lived 1,400 miles away from my family so it's never been an issue. I can't recall any exs ever meeting my family and my ex wife only met them after we were already married.

So if I had to give an answer, it would be distance.