Post: #26

If you're already anxious about banging, have serious porn issues and struggled to get it up in the past, I'd 100% recommend buying some Viagra and keeping 1 pill on you at all times you have a remote chance of pulling. Even if you don't get so far with these approaches it will put your mind at rest. If not, you'll be thinking about not being able to function which will affect the interaction with any girls you talk to. There is pretty much no way you won't get hard after you drop a V so you'll at least have that worry gone from your head.

Obviously this isn't a long term solution and once you get more comfortable you won't need it any more, but speaking from similar experience it does help. Lots of other good advice for you in this thread and all over the forum but it's up to you to take action. Good luck.

Post: #27

I'm 15 years older than you and with a bit more experience of approaching women on the street, but I'm still relatively new to the game and - like you - approach anxiety is the No.1 problem standing in the way of me getting laid.

Given that you suffer from social anxiety, I cannot recommend highly enough that you stick with the no-fap - I'm currently on day 31 and going from strength-to-strength with every passing day. There is a good chance, if you stick with your other resolutions to work out and eat better, that you'll experience the increased attention from women that many men experience whilst on a no-fap streak and that I have also experienced over the past few weeks. In fact, when you do it might well blow your socks off in its intensity - it certainly has for me. My problem, though, is having the courage to capitalize on these newly found IOIs.

But the biggest benefit you'll notice with the no-fap is the increase in confidence. It might not remove all the approach anxiety, but it will certainly alleviate a good part of it and should make it possible for you to get started and build up from there.

So stay strong, bro and the best of luck to you.

Post: #28

Like others have said, I don't think you need to go "no-fap" for however long--just talk to girls. No need to wait until you complete some self-imposed program. Get out, meet people, and work on yourself in the meantime. Good luck

Post: #29

Visit a few prostitutes or maybe the same one a few times, get some experience with a woman in bed. Your anxiety will reduce and you will no longer be in panic mode if you are close to getting the bang.

The first time is generally not so good, you have no idea what you are doing and are a little bit panicked the girl might find out she's deflowering you.

This solution gets rid of this problem in your case, if its shit so what, shes getting her money, everyones a winner. I'd also ask her for some pointers and tell her its your first time.

Post: #30

+ 1 for just saying hi to girls as they walk by. In addition to the practice there's a good lesson here - you'll see how often the resting bitch face turns into a warm smile and it's a good reminder not to be intimidated because there can be many explanations for a sour facial expression such as being distracted or bummed out by whatever's going on in their lives.

Here's what I've told myself: if you wanted to start playing piano from scratch would you just sit down and start playing a Rachmaninov concerto? You'd start with scales, arpeggios, and learn to play "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." Work on the rudiments and when you master or at least improve one skill start on the next.

Post: #31

Man, the simple fact that you decided to be posting your message here shows that you want to find a solution, this is great ! Most people wouldn't ever do it.
And the fact that, as a Brazilian, you come here and write in great English proves that no, you are far from a loser. Lived 3 months in your country (Rio <3 ) and really NOT many people can write/speak as you do.

Be confident, follow the advices of all our friends here, fuck off porn of your life, ...
And well, from my Brazilian experience, there are TONS of women that want to meet some nice local guys. Not the super model ones of course, but anyway, almost all women between 18 and 28 years old in Brazil look good. Oh, and last but not least : Your age is an advantage. Women in Brazil prefer guys your age MUCH more than 18 years old kids. Make it your advantage and show your confidence !

Cheers

Post: #32

OP- Honestly the VERY first thing you should do is realize there is an entire Newbie section of the forum.

It's where your post should have gone.

Post: #33

It took you years to get to where you are, so the path to improvement will be long. Accept that and be patient. Plus, fast changes usually lead to relapses. Go slow and sure.

Nofap leads to being hornier and having naturally healthier interactions with girls. The gym will help you eat better, get disciplined, improve your confidence. These things start compounding into your momentum. One approach/day is good too.

If you can get access to a local RVFer I'm sure that would be helpful. Do you live in SP?

Post: #34

OP:

1. Get a mass-gaining gym routine going. Compound exercises. You'll benefit from a quick "burst" of new muscle, which will make you look better and start rebuilding your confidence and masculinity.

2. Shut down the porno now, take whatever measures you have to do so. Block websites and delete anything you've downloaded.

3. Treat yourself to fapping one evening per week.

4. Say "hello" to every female, young or old, hot or ugly, that you pass by, anywhere. Start running Cashier Game when in stores, ask the check-out girl at Walgreens "How's your day going?" while giving eye contact and a subtle smile. Have some colorful response (even if it's canned/not true) when she asks you the question back. See where that goes in conversation.

5. Create a resume (if you haven't already) and start pumping out resumes on careerbuilder, attend a job fair event, and whatever other networking channels relevant to what type of job(s) your going to pursue getting into.

6. Find an outlet where you can consistently meet young people on a weekly basis. Running club, hiking club, Martial Arts group, Salsa dancing, I don't know, pick a hobby that involves other people, even if it's all guys, that's okay for now. You need routine social interaction to get out of your head and to make a few new friends.

7. Limit your time spent online, studying Game, or even reading forums like this one. Forums like this are great for some tid bits and inspiration, but reading too much manosphere/game/internet will drain your time and make you cynical and depressed. Don't overthink this stuff, just follow the steps above and stay positive.

Post: #35

Lots of good advice in the thread, OP. And the most important thing is you are here and you know what you need to DO.

Now it's up to you to DO IT.

And you're 27. My roommate lost his virginity when he was 30 (he's 36 now) and he's sitting on about 21 notches at the moment. I didn't know him when he was 30, but I'd be willing to bet he was a very different man than the one I know today.

It's never too late to improve yourself.

Post: #36

(03-04-2017 08:57 PM)Helvegen Wrote:  Hello, everyone.

I've been a member of this forum for quite some time now and all I've ever done is lurk and live vicariously through you guys (and the manosphere in general) so I decided it is time to stop with this bullshit and start to walk the walk instead of just talking the talk. As the title says I'm a virgin even though I had quite a few opportunities to bang, but didn't because quite frankly with all the porn and masturbation I just couldn't get it up to real women. Yeah, I know, WTF right?

I recently started going to the gym and I'm doing the NOFAP 90 days challenge before I can start approaching; I figured that it'd be useless to start approaching when my sex drive a social anxiety are fucked due to years being a fucking recluse playing video games and masturbating on my bedroom.

Not sure if I'm even being coherent here, but I'd like your opinions on this. How should I go about it? For all intented purposes I'm a loser; no job, no pussy, no muscle, no money.

Anyway, that's it.

Well for starters get a job; other than that practice mindfulness meditation, it's the best relief for social anxiety as most anxiety and fears are caused by not living in the present, and being too caught up in thought.

If you are in a relaxed state of mind and living in the present then you tend to naturally do better with women and social situations without having to consciously "think" about it, since much of social interaction is just the result of human's natural instincts running their course; when one is actively thinking and planning this represses their natural instincts; while this is useful for problem solving or dealing with machines; it's ineffective in social situations.

Basically any "game" you try to learn is something you should be doing in private; when you're actually in a social situation you shouldn't be consciously thinking about "what to say", you should just be letting you instinct guide you naturally.

I believe Sun Tzu said a successful general wins first before going into battle; this should be your mentality in social situations; you should do all of your planning before hand, rather than actively think while in the moment.