Post: #1

I came upon this post via Google and I agree with the OP's assessment on unconditional love. I personally believe as humans unconditional love doesn't exist. Love either between husband/wife or even child/ parent have to be worked at between two parties willing to overcome them.

Here's the post:
https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/co...onal_love/

Quote:
Hello all,

Today I'd like to focus on the romantic myth of unconditional love, the love that remains the same through poverty and wealth, in sickness and in health, unconditionally, just the way you are.

TL;DR, it's a lie. It doesn't exist.

Okay, let's start from the beginning. Loving thyself.

A healthy person will love themselves unconditionally. However, many people today struggle with this. Whether it's eating disorders, body image issues, poor self esteem.... and the list goes on and on. Today, there are many who have a hard time loving themselves unconditionally, how in the world can they or anyone else love someone else unconditionally?

Answer - they can't.

Now let's analyze the formation of a romantic relationship.

Relationships are complex and often complicated. There's almost never one single motivating factor that drives any given relationship. Nevertheless, there are often several key elements which are the core motivators while everything else is merely of secondary importance. If you have it, great, if you don't, it's okay. When something is a core element, if you don't have it, the essence of the relationship is lacking and the foundations shaken.

Male and female sexual biology and the drives that come as a result are very different, often opposite from one another. In simple terms this means that what drives a man to seek a woman may be different or even opposite to what drives a woman to seek a man. Understanding these different motivations affords us a better chance of working together towards building an everlasting edifice and a happy family.

Let's take sex and commitment as an example. It's no secret that men as a whole desire sex a lot more than women do and that woman desire commitment a lot more than men do. It's not to say that women don't desire sex or that men don't desire commitment, it's just that the desire for sex is a lot stronger for men and the desire for commitment is a lot stronger for women. It's men who will stoop to paying women for sex and it's women who will stoop to trapping men with commitment through various means such as "forgetting" to take the pill etc.

In a society where sex outside of marriage is shunned and shamed, a man needs to provide commitment if he wants to have sex. This is a bonus for the female sex imperative. This is balanced out with at fault divorce laws which will punish a woman who causes a divorce by refusing sex. I'm not going to argue these specific points. The point of this post isn't to argue whether these are good or bad. The point is to point out that this is a trade off and has always been seen as such throughout history. This is just one example of a trade off, but there are many more.

Along came TV and the movies and others who convinced the masses that marriage as a business partnership is just wrong. That the fantasies of romance novels written throughout history can be your reality. People began to expect these fantasies to the point that they'd throw away otherwise great marriages which don't live up to the romantic fantasies.

One of these fantasies is the notion that you could be loved as is, for who you are, unconditionally.

Let's take John and Jane Doe as an example. John wants sex, sexual intimacy, children, a wife to care for him with cooking and cleaning etc, and a family home to live in. The home must be according to budget, he'd rather live in a small home which he can afford than a large one which he can't afford. John's priorities are in this order. He seeks a suitable mate to be his wife. Being that it's in this order, he looks for sexual appeal first, intimate connection next, desire for children after that etc. Buying a house is hardly even on the radar for him.

Jane has a different set of priorities. Even the priorities which she shares with John are either higher or lower on her list. She wants children, companionship, stability, commitment, sustenance, a large house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, an emotional rock, a captain and to be sexually desired and fulfilled.

All of these things are conditions. John and Jane enter into a romantic relationship with each other because they think that the other is a suitable match for what they need. By definition, these are all conditions whether John and Jane are aware of them or not.

What happens when Jane becomes pregnant and is constantly nauseous and moody, she isn't up for sex and she will lash out at him with emotional outbursts and insults. He will also have to pick up her slack around the house. This in it's own right may not kill the marriage because it's temporary. John knows that all this is a temporary shit storm which will soon pass and he'll have his loving wife back. She'll come back with extra appreciation for all that he's put up with and done for her.

However, what happens if she never does appreciate what he's put up with and done for her? What if the baby is a year old and they still haven't had any sexual contact, not even non PIV? What if she belittles him for even wanting sex when she's so tired from dealing with the baby all night?

What happens is that John will feel taken for granted and he will begin to resent Jane. We can argue from today to tomorrow whether John or Jane or both are being reasonable or unreasonable. I don't want to get sidetracked with that. The point is that the number one item on Johns list for which he got together with Jane to begin with is the very thing she now categorically refuses to engage in and shames him for. He will therefore be unhappy and contemplate leaving.

Same is true with regards to any other major priority that John or Jane have of each other. If John suddenly doesn't want children, if he stops working, if Jane gained 100 pounds, if John took up smoking, If Jane neglected grooming and the list goes on and on. When the conditions for our love cease to be there, we'll struggle to love. When multiple conditions change, we will feel more inclined to separate.

Bottom line is that unconditional love is a myth and therefore an unrealistic expectation.

Post: #2

One of the biggest red pills I had to swallow is that there is a distinct difference between "romantic love" and "maternal love".

Romantic love is conditional, and fleeting, whereas the love between a mother and her child I believe is unconditional. Women do not love men like they love their children, and as a young boy growing up in this cold, ruthless world you don't have the knowledge or experience to realize this. You believe that the unconditional, maternal love benevolently bestowed upon you in your youth is the truth of all women.

Most men who were coddled like this in their adolescence - including myself - where raised up to be betas with no game. On the flip side, I know guys who had no mother's, or never received love from her and are arguably the biggest players. They become game aware at a much early age.

I personally believe human's are capable of unconditional love. I love my mom (and Dad), and I know she loves me - and I'm certain that will not change during my lifetime.

Post: #3

Unconditional love is what parents give their kids, and dogs give to you.

A relationship with the opposite sex is more like an armed truce. You both battle to get you needs met.

You wouldn't have anything to do with a woman unless she met (some) of your needs.

Notice society has had to legislate to extract the male benefits of a relationship (resources, security, protection etc) from men not in relationships to give to women who give nothing in return.

Imagine a divorce settlement that decreed a woman has to give three blow jobs to the ex-husband for the rest of his life instead of him giving her all his cash!

Post: #4

You can try to convince yourself that your girl is the most loyal girl in the world - that she will walk through fire for you. Girls are very good at that scam... making you think that they will always be there.

But that's whoreshit. As soon as things aren't peachy dandy, her ass will be gone like the wind. Count on it.

Women aren't loyal like men. Your bros will stick with you thick and thin. Women won't.

Post: #5

via Imgflip Meme Generator

Post: #6

I believe unconditional love is closely related with religiosity, transcendence and pair bonding in general. It is reasonable to say that with the paradigm shift in cultural attitudes, feminism, secular beliefs, hedonism and other social degeneracies make unconditional love harder to find.

I see y older family members with marriages lasing 50/60 plus years that exhibit unconditional love. What did they have that our generations don't. Again female notch counts were kept to a minimum. Social shaming prevented "empowered" women from destroying the nuclear family with divorce. Marriages were earlier, women were not as pressured into careers or the labor force in general. They had religious mindsets and domestic talents.

Nowadays we have attention whores with double digit notch counts, mental illnesses, drug problems, useless liberal degrees and yoga is as spiritual as they get. These kinds of social ills have been hashed out a hundred times on this forum.