Post: #76

I've been in situations before where I've been seeing a woman for a few weeks and then out pops the "I was raped" declaration. Because of the current climate where victimhood has been fetishised thanks to third-wave feminism, I treat all such declarations with a pinch of salt. But let's say she's not lying (or, at least, grossly exaggerating) for victim credits, and let's say she's telling the truth, either way this girl is not mentally sound enough to continue with the relationship - let alone marry.

Same with a girl who was sexually abused as a child. Absolutely tragic she had to suffer that, and she has nothing but my sympathies, but I'm far too selfish to put half of her trauma into my backpack to carry around with me for the rest of my life.

Post: #77

(01-25-2017 08:31 AM)kosko Wrote:  If OP has had that many relationships with women who have been through the meat grinder of sexual assault and rape I would question your ability in being able to vet women. Are you a reformed beta? I ask this because beta men are prime targets for emotionally dangerous women. As a reformed beta myself I can speak on this as the line up of basket case women has stopped since I stopped being a teddy bear with broads.

Excellent observation. The short answer is I kind of am, though I've been largely aware of female nature since I was around 20 (in my mid 30s now). Have definitely been taken advantage a couple of times, but have also done a good job of cutting women off as soon as they start treating me like a simp (I immediately called out two of the four rape victims as soon as they got manipulative, they both snapped back that I was being abusive).

I'm more of an Omega than a Beta. I don't really serve women, although I try to be good to the people around me. I learned early on that people would take advantage of my sensitive nature. Basically I'm too nice to be an Alpha but too aware and handsome to be a Beta (just being objective), this forced me to the periphery for much of my life.

(01-25-2017 08:31 AM)kosko Wrote:  I feel for them as women but it is a tall task to ask one man to attempt to rebuild a woman's soul. It is a job too large for one person and should be a group effort of family and community. This is why you see so many men balk at this idea because we see the realities in its age that it would be a solo project and you would have to out in considerable effort for very slim rewards. Plus the gamble of her in a content nurotic mental state which can be problematic for children who grow up in that setting.

Yes...

(01-25-2017 08:31 AM)kosko Wrote:  I struggle with this question (just a bit) because I don't cast women to the flames for some thing they did not cause. I don't want to deny any woman who is reasonable and makes an effort to do well to a life alone due to a reality of he'll she lives in that she did or cause. It is a harsh punishment on top of another punishment she already has to deal with. More attention has to be made to incubate women emotionally so they can attempt to heal fully.

Yes. This is why I feel compelled to give damaged women a shot. Well, one of the reasons. The male sense of justice makes it hard to completely disregard someone who's been through something horrific that (most likely) wasn't their fault. You want to make things right as best you can, but the support network isn't there. As men we're expected to be responsible for every relationship, with no regard for the shit we're inheriting. It may be someone else's mess but it's our responsibility.

Post: #78

Would I marry a woman who'd been raped?


Most likely not, unless she really wanted to work through it beforehand.
(Assuming she really was raped. One never knows these days...)

Post: #79

No.

If she's been "forcibly raped", where the man used violence, drugs, or a weapon to hold her down and force his way in, then she's likely to suffer emotional trauma from it, and a psychologist would be better suited than me to do the job. I don't want to deal with all the drama that'll come with it. I fucked an ex-rape victim once, and she started crying through the sex. She said it just made her remember "that time". Don't want to deal with that.

If she's been "assaulted", such as ass grabbing, boob grabbing, etc. and calls it "sexual assault" or "rape", then she's a feminist. You know what happens next.

Post: #80

OP's question is like a bad distraction from a greater issue. By marry I assume look for and commit to a woman as lifelong partner.

Whether the woman is a false accusr, or was really attacked I cannot say it better than The 48 Laws of Power:

10. Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

***

Can anyone tell me any reason to violate this law?

Post: #81

(01-25-2017 10:48 AM)R_Niko Wrote:  

(01-25-2017 08:31 AM)kosko Wrote:  If OP has had that many relationships with women who have been through the meat grinder of sexual assault and rape I would question your ability in being able to vet women. Are you a reformed beta? I ask this because beta men are prime targets for emotionally dangerous women. As a reformed beta myself I can speak on this as the line up of basket case women has stopped since I stopped being a teddy bear with broads.

Excellent observation. The short answer is I kind of am, though I've been largely aware of female nature since I was around 20 (in my mid 30s now). Have definitely been taken advantage a couple of times, but have also done a good job of cutting women off as soon as they start treating me like a simp (I immediately called out two of the four rape victims as soon as they got manipulative, they both snapped back that I was being abusive).

I'm more of an Omega than a Beta. I don't really serve women, although I try to be good to the people around me. I learned early on that people would take advantage of my sensitive nature. Basically I'm too nice to be an Alpha but too aware and handsome to be a Beta (just being objective), this forced me to the periphery for much of my life.

(01-25-2017 08:31 AM)kosko Wrote:  I feel for them as women but it is a tall task to ask one man to attempt to rebuild a woman's soul. It is a job too large for one person and should be a group effort of family and community. This is why you see so many men balk at this idea because we see the realities in its age that it would be a solo project and you would have to out in considerable effort for very slim rewards. Plus the gamble of her in a content nurotic mental state which can be problematic for children who grow up in that setting.

Yes...

(01-25-2017 08:31 AM)kosko Wrote:  I struggle with this question (just a bit) because I don't cast women to the flames for some thing they did not cause. I don't want to deny any woman who is reasonable and makes an effort to do well to a life alone due to a reality of he'll she lives in that she did or cause. It is a harsh punishment on top of another punishment she already has to deal with. More attention has to be made to incubate women emotionally so they can attempt to heal fully.

Yes. This is why I feel compelled to give damaged women a shot. Well, one of the reasons. The male sense of justice makes it hard to completely disregard someone who's been through something horrific that (most likely) wasn't their fault. You want to make things right as best you can, but the support network isn't there. As men we're expected to be responsible for every relationship, with no regard for the shit we're inheriting. It may be someone else's mess but it's our responsibility.

What Kosko is describing and Rniko is yessing isn't related to "rape." The "rape" is just a device or prop in the story used by a borderline woman to get her next victim. Most likely the woman started with stories of a "verbally abusive" ex and when she gained the appropriate response (discovered she had a man that serves women) she escalated the stories. It would have come out "later" because she didnt want to "scare" you. But the rape story used effectively is like superglue to make some men stick to her to prove thet they are different. These men are the ultimate Knights, but will learn in time that the woman is not the princess in the story, rather she is the dragon.

Post: #82

A few years ago I met a smoking hot hapa girl. I took her out twice, and turned down the sexualization the second time, because I was trying to be gentlemanly and go for the long term.

She was in perfect health, and I swear I would have produced NFL quarterbacks with her. We had plans for a third meet up and I was gonna bang. I was all excited, and she was too.

I was talking to someone about her, and this girl told me she had been raped when she was 16. And not date rape brutal random shit that the guy is in jail over.

At that point I started to feel sorry for her, and cut it off.

My rationale was that I couldn't see myself ever getting over that sorry feeling. I figured I would wind up doing things for her not out of genuine happiness or whatever the fuck but because I'd always feel like I had to be in protector mode.

Aloha!

Post: #83

(01-27-2017 05:35 PM)Kona Wrote:  My rationale was that I couldn't see myself ever getting over that sorry feeling. I figured I would wind up doing things for her not out of genuine happiness or whatever the fuck but because I'd always feel like I had to be in protector mode.

Aloha!

We are talking about marriage in this thread.... I don't care how "red pill" or "alpha" someone is...... I think you should always be in protector mode of your wife, and your kids.

Post: #84

(01-25-2017 08:31 AM)kosko Wrote:  I dated one and that was all I needed to know in how to avoid them as the signs they give out are all the same in a nurotic level in their projections and outburst emotionally. Every now and then I come across them and their traits and I immediately eject from the situation and won't address it further. I don't care how hot or how nice she is. Women have a biological need to cover up as many mental flaws as possible and if she already displays cracks to let out very known emotional triggers and behaviour in early stages you can bet that more lurks behind the curtain.

I feel for them as women but it is a tall task to ask one man to attempt to rebuild a woman's soul. It is a job too large for one person and should be a group effort of family and community. This is why you see so many men balk at this idea because we see the realities in its age that it would be a solo project and you would have to out in considerable effort for very slim rewards. Plus the gamble of her in a content nurotic mental state which can be problematic for children who grow up in that setting. It is known for children to take on some traits which can make children grow to not being to openly handle emotions well and also being more introverted as result of so much drama hanging in the home.

I was about to reply to Leonards silly argument but what you've said was better written than the argument I was going to make.

Well said.

+1

Post: #85

I did not answer the question properly.

A woman who has gone through a rape may or may not be traumatized after this. In fact in some minor cases she may be a more devoted and attached wife who latches on to a good man with everything she has. I know that you may think that this is impossible, but I have had this experience with some.

You have to realize that trauma for a woman is not trauma just the same as with men. One man walks through Mogadishu killing and slaughtering enemies, seeing his comrades die terrible deaths and then 6 months later being fine. The other guy is troubled with it to the end of his life and ends up a homeless drug addict.

In contrast women can be traumatized now by Trump winning, by Return of Kings posts and they can be psychotic due to that. They may even concoct some idiotic rape story which is not true either.

So you need to be a well-versed experienced Red Pill man with Game to see what is going on with that woman. She may have become a stronger person due to that or even a more positive one. This claim that you should instantly discard her because she was dragged into the bushes by a stranger and raped at gunpoint (very rare) could be also used as an argument to discard a US army veteran who has seen terrible things in battle. Yes - he or she may be damaged - or he or she may have become better persons afterwards.

Post: #86

(01-28-2017 12:58 AM)Resolute Wrote:  

(01-25-2017 08:31 AM)kosko Wrote:  I dated one and that was all I needed to know in how to avoid them as the signs they give out are all the same in a nurotic level in their projections and outburst emotionally. Every now and then I come across them and their traits and I immediately eject from the situation and won't address it further. I don't care how hot or how nice she is. Women have a biological need to cover up as many mental flaws as possible and if she already displays cracks to let out very known emotional triggers and behaviour in early stages you can bet that more lurks behind the curtain.

I feel for them as women but it is a tall task to ask one man to attempt to rebuild a woman's soul. It is a job too large for one person and should be a group effort of family and community. This is why you see so many men balk at this idea because we see the realities in its age that it would be a solo project and you would have to out in considerable effort for very slim rewards. Plus the gamble of her in a content nurotic mental state which can be problematic for children who grow up in that setting. It is known for children to take on some traits which can make children grow to not being to openly handle emotions well and also being more introverted as result of so much drama hanging in the home.

I was about to reply to Leonards silly argument but what you've said was better written than the argument I was going to make.

Well said.

+1

Weak.

All I've maintained is that if the woman isn't batshit then unless you specifically ask her then you're not going to know one way or the other.

Though apparently if she's batshit but it wasn't from rape then, what, green light and full steam ahead?

Bosh. Flimflam.

If you know whe's been raped then there's obviously a reason you know. She acts batshit or she told you (huge red flag). In that case then YES, my advice is not to start an LTR with her. She should have put it behind her and not dragged it into your life or your relationship. My point from the beginning was that if you don't know you don't know, and any guy who says "I always know" is fooling only himself.

Post: #87

(01-27-2017 06:12 PM)Cr33pin Wrote:  

(01-27-2017 05:35 PM)Kona Wrote:  My rationale was that I couldn't see myself ever getting over that sorry feeling. I figured I would wind up doing things for her not out of genuine happiness or whatever the fuck but because I'd always feel like I had to be in protector mode.

Aloha!

We are talking about marriage in this thread.... I don't care how "red pill" or "alpha" someone is...... I think you should always be in protector mode of your wife, and your kids.

Though I don't want to put words in his mouth, I got the sense that Kona was referring more to always feeling like he would have to be in "emotional crutch mode".

Post: #88

(01-28-2017 03:07 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  All I've maintained is that if the woman isn't batshit then unless you specifically ask her then you're not going to know one way or the other.

Though apparently if she's batshit but it wasn't from rape then, what, green light and full steam ahead?

Bosh. Flimflam.

If you know whe's been raped then there's obviously a reason you know. She acts batshit or she told you (huge red flag). In that case then YES, my advice is not to start an LTR with her. She should have put it behind her and not dragged it into your life or your relationship. My point from the beginning was that if you don't know you don't know, and any guy who says "I always know" is fooling only himself.

Thanks for clarifying. That wasn't how I read your previous posts at all. It sounded to me like you were stating that rape doesn't necessarily cause life-long trauma and psychological damage, which even a cursory glance over any study on it would prove otherwise.

It seems we were arguing over semantics, so I'm happy to know we're in agreement for the most part.

But for the record, I still maintain that any girl who was violently attacked and raped by my previous definition (i.e. "Dragged into the bushed and raped at gunpoint" etc") is going to have some SERIOUS emotional damage that will be pretty easy to identify with average game and average knowledge of psychology.

I personally have never met a woman who's gone through any real shit in her life that didn't have a really fucked up personality because of it. Have I met girls who had a really shitty childhood (drugs, or molestation, etc) who have cute, bubbly, happy personalities? Yup, I sure have. But they also had self-destructive tenancies. Their fucked up past doesn't allow them to form proper healthy human relationships, they have some kind of need for dysfunction.

Do girls who have gone through this shit and come out "Ok" exist? Probably, but I'm certainly not going to put my emotional, financial, and genetic health on the line to find out.

Like I said, I'd bang these girls, have a fling with them (some of them are AMAZING in bed, due to a lack of inhibitions....some are the opposite) but NEVER marry them.

I just cannot imagine anyone who has knowledge of Rooshs blog, this forum, and RoK saying "Yeah, I'd wife up a girl who I know has serious emotional and psychological issues if she was hot enough." To me, that just screams that the person has not matured enough to realize what they are putting on the line when the contemplate marriage with a woman of this caliber.

No one is perfect, but that doesn't mean you should just marry any random broad no matter what her issues. Have standards. "Not being raped in the past." isn't even a high standard. It's easier to find a girl who hasn't been raped than it is to find an 8. Yet some guys here wouldn't marry a 7.5 yet would marry a girl who was an 8 yet had been raped. That's just pure craziness.

Post: #89

um, no?