Post: #1

Sadiq Khan, the pushover Muslim mayor of Londonistan, recently banned all “Are You Beach Body Ready?” advertising campaigns from public transit vehicles within the British capital, including the walls of the London Underground itself. This follows more than a year of on-and-off controversy over the advertisements from Protein World, which crybaby fatties complained about because it makes them feel physically inferior.

These ads experienced a similar backlash when they first arrived in the United States, but thankfully they have not been entirely banned from butt hurt eyes. Nevertheless, why do we live in Bizarro world, where what’s desirable is scorned and what’s slovenly and mediocre is tolerated?

This article will illustrate five very good reasons why all young women should be “beach body ready,” no matter where they reside around the globe.

1. Competitive Advantage In The Sexual Marketplace

Young women who have a very agreeable weight and overall aesthetic figure (along with their youth and a decent set of teeth) have the best competitive advantage in the sexual marketplace for attracting the highest quality male suitors.

Men of power, wealth, social prestige, confidence, fitness, etc. will not be chubby chasers unless literally no other options are available to them at a geographic location (mining towns, Toronto, etc). Most importantly, chubby women can largely forget about these high-status men wanting to put a ring around their finger and sire children with them.

2. Health And Mental Well Being

Being overweight or obese takes years off everyone’s life expectancy, reduces their energy levels, diminishes their sporting and sexual performance, and greatly increases the risk of depression and other mental disorders.

Women who are physically active and have a healthy beach body weight, generally have much higher levels of self-esteem and have a far more positive and enjoyable outlook towards life. It’s the “winner’s outlook” if you will.

Women who enjoy life and have good self-esteem are highly unlikely candidates to become militant feminists (losers). Additionally, they are also less likely (but not immune) to destroy their bodies with massive amounts of gawd-awful tattoos or piercings, which greatly diminishes their sexual market value and marriageability.

Ad Lib Coach Translation (0:10 – 0:20): “You know why there are so many empty seats here? You know why you are losing? It’s because some of you girls are too damn chunky! It boggles the mind and it’s a disgrace to Argentina!”

3. Increased Access To High-Income (Or Easy) Job Opportunities

Women who have very fit and attractive beach bodies have much greater access to lucrative job opportunities in their prime years (18-26) than women who have chubby or overall dumpy looking aesthetics. It doesn’t necessarily matter how “nice” they are, or where their education and skills set lies.

In the United States, female bartenders who work in busy and popular nightclubs and saloons are often fit as hell (in stark contrast to the general female population), and could routinely be pulling $300-500 a shift from thirsty customers, in more ways than one. Models, product promoters, and Youtubers are also all at a great competitive advantage to make more money while they are young.

Even while seeking jobs which don’t necessarily correlate to directly flaunting their bodies (secretary, receptionist, etc.), fit women stand a very good chance at being on the short-list for employment opportunities compared to their fatter compatriots.

4. Increased Social Capital

C’mon. When in the course of human history was the fat chick ever the most popular girl in school? When was the fat chick ever a top priority to invite over to parties, or be accepted into the most sought-after sororities? Moving up exclusively to the modern era, when was a young fat chick ever the most followed girl on Instagram or Snapchat?

When it comes to social opportunities and popularity contests, and the frequent discharges of serotonin and dopamine they will bring, fit women have everything to gain while overweight women have everything to lose.

5. National Pride And Prestige

Finally, it should be a great source of pride for all people (men and women) in countries like Poland, Colombia, Russia, Ukraine, Brazil, Japan, etc. when men around the world are often very complimentary of the overall state of female waistlines when they visit these nations.

On the other spectrum, it is a source of shame and disgust for men in countries like the United States, Mexico, Australia, and many others where the nation is overflowing with obese and aesthetically horrendous looking women.

When you compare the average talent on a beach in the “redneck riviera” of the United States, with just about anywhere in Brazil, the Brazilians should pat themselves on the back while the Americans should just consider burying their heads in the sand.

Conclusion

Fox News commentator Andrea Tantaros is absolutely correct. The only people who would be truly offended by the “Beach Body Ready” ads are people who have dumpy looking aesthetics and higher than average jealousy issues.

Our feminist society wants women to accept collective mediocrity in regards to excess body fat, and to tear down advertisements which encourage health, beauty, and self improvement. However, I’m sure they would be perfectly fine with an advertisement for bull rings and blue hair dye though.

So to hell with the feminist haters, and ladies (we know you’re there), get started with a gym routine if you haven’t already. Your quality of life will improve tremendously. Do it for America, more than anywhere else. 

Read More: 39 Statements That Reveal Whether You Are A True Man Of The Right

Posted on Sat, 16 Jul 2016 14:00:27 +0000 at http://www.returnofkings.com/90334/5-rea...body-ready
Comments: http://www.returnofkings.com/90334/5-rea...dy#respond

Post: #2

HAHAHAHAHA

The best comment:

Bob Smith • an hour ago

"Giant Thighs"

(A musical parody by Bob Smith, based on the song, "Lyin' Eyes", by The Eagles.)

Shitty girls just seem to pork out early
They dress like sluts and prowl the grocery aisle
A ghetto man and she won't have to worry
He'd bang it if her ass measured a mile

Late at night, her big old gut gets lonely
I guess all forms of self-loathing have a price
And it breaks her heart to think her love is only
Given to a glass of Diet Coke and ice

So she tells him she must go out for the evening
To comfort a fat friend who's feeling down
But he knows where she's going as she's leavin'
She is headin' for the fast-food side of town

You can't hide your giant thighs
And your smile is blubberized
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your giant thighs

On the other side of town a burger's waiting
With chili sauce and cheese - oh, so congealed
She drives on through the night anticipating
'cause it makes her squeal like piglets at a meal

She rushes to the food, they fall together
She whispers that it's only for a while
She swears that soon she'll be dieting forever
She pulls away - and pukes up yellow bile

You can't hide your giant thighs
And your smile is blubberized
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your giant thighs

She gets up, and pours herself some A-1
She stares down at her cottage cheesy thighs
Another night, it's gonna be a long one
She draws the shade and wolfs down curly fries

She dreams about warm donuts, soft and glazy
She thinks about a chocolate swimming pool
Did she buy cheese? - her memory is hazy
She's so far gone, she belches while she drools

My, oh my - you sure 'nuff are a deranged thing
You still have room for spare ribs and Hi-C
Ain't it funny how that half-rack didn't change things
You're still the same fat slob you used to be

You can't hide your giant thighs
And your smile is blubberized
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your giant thighs