Post: #1

the girl I am with now, she is awesome, she will do anything for me and I can tell she is infatuated with me, I like her a lot as well but I am the one leading this relationship, she will pretty much do as I say, with that being said I always have in the back of my mind that all girls will/would cheat, there is no reason for me to think this about her and there isnt much time away from each other recently and I take notes of everything, nothing leads me to have any suspicions but I guess past experinces have me always on guard.

is this a bad thing on my part?

Post: #2

Trust but verify.
You're right to not trust her completely, i don't 100% trust my girl of nearly 4yrs.

What do you not trust about her?
Is she going out and being vague about the details?
Does she go through your phone?
Do you go through her phone?
Is she talking/hanging out with guy friends?

Post: #3

Gotta break out the Jack Nicholson game.

Start a simple conversation in the kitchen while you're preparing a meal. Transition to the bad news:

"One of my friends just found out his girlfriend cheated on him." (her: "that's horrible")

"Yeah... If something like that happened to me..."

*pick up the carving knife and stare at it vacantly for just a little bit too long*

"...I just don't know what I'd do..."

Measure response.

Post: #4

You mention that you lead the relationship.

- Is she at all, naive in the presence of other guys?
- Do her eyes roam around in public or are they locked on you majorly?
- If you want more validation, discuss more serious topics

Never instill too much trust. On the same note, make sure your insecurity doesn't leak into the relationship.

Post: #5

Speaking seriously, my experience is that if you want total ownership of a woman (her monogamy) you need to act the part. Women, more than men, have to act a thing out for it to be real to them. That means everything from how you touch her in public to how you bang her.

There is a golden point of domination that lies between perceived-apathy and deranged obsession. Most women want to be dominated (regardless of what they say) because domination is attention and attention infers you are not looking for a replacement. Moreover, domination is a kind of attention that demonstrates power, something their instincts demand a suitable protector and provider must possess. This is why the endless fountain of non-dominant attention a beta orbiter provides never gets him laid.

In practice this means doing things like guiding her by the small of the back when in public together. Using public displays of affection wherein you control her utterly (see the classic "V-Day kiss" picture). Buy her a new neck choker every week. She'll get the message soon enough and hopefully start wearing them. When you go out, order for her (at least her drinks). In private you need to be banging her at least most of the time in a dominant manner (hand firmly gripped on the back of the neck is psychological gold). If you're living together then it doesn't hurt to have a few photos around the place that reinforce this whole concept (one of her sitting and you standing behind her with your hands on her shoulders, another with you carrying her over your shoulder playfully for example).

All of this might seem a bit over the top, or maybe it's stuff you mostly do anyway. Decades ago all of this would be unnecessary, but these days the social order has gone to seed and keeping a woman faithful requires a little more effort than it used to. Sadly a lot of women have been indoctrinated to react negatively to this kind of treatment. I would suggest that if your dominance triggers annoying fits of rebellion then you're not looking at a woman with high LTR value.

Hope these ideas help.

Post: #6

Welcome to the club.

"I always have in the back of my mind that all girls will/would cheat"

They will. If you fully trusted her, you could sit on your couch, get fat, have no social life, and live on welfare and have no concern that she'll leave you or cheat.

That's what makes us men. We can't just show up and have women want us or stay with us and not cheat on us. We know we have to maintain a certain lifestyle to maintain her attraction.

In that sense, you can't fully trust her.

It really only matters in how it changes your behavior and actions, how it actually affects your life. If your distrust for her causes you to keep flirting with women to keep your game sharp, that seems fairly healthy human behavior. If your distrust causes you to check her phone for dick pics when she isn't looking, there's a pathology there.

The guys I know most secure in their relationships are the guys who could move on without their women. They trust their wives (yes, married guys), but they also know the true nature of women (either explicitly stated, or can be seen in interactions with other women).

Post: #7

(06-15-2016 01:52 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  the girl I am with now, she is awesome, she will do anything for me and I can tell she is infatuated with me, I like her a lot as well but I am the one leading this relationship, she will pretty much do as I say, with that being said I always have in the back of my mind that all girls will/would cheat, there is no reason for me to think this about her and there isnt much time away from each other recently and I take notes of everything, nothing leads me to have any suspicions but I guess past experinces have me always on guard.

is this a bad thing on my part?

You're operating from a position of fear. If she did cheat you would be hurt, but you would also get over it and find someone else. The world is not going to end. You want to operate from a position of awareness where you pay attention to what's going on and you address it.

Post: #8

I'm still trying to figure out how this is a 'problem.' I consider distrust part of a healthy mindset.

Trust no one entirely.

Post: #9

The term "commitment issues" is nonsense invented by women to gaslight men.

Post: #10

Only 4 possible outcomes here:

1) If you trust her and she cheats - Loose
2) If you trust her and she doesn't cheat - Win
3) If You don't trust her and she cheats - Loose
4) If you don't trust her and she doesn't cheat - Loose (because you ruined the relationship by not trusting)

You can only control whether or not you trust, not weather or not she cheats, so your choice by the above logic only gives you one chance to win.

You have to trust. (but verify)

Post: #11

Some serious advices in this thread, i can say that you should expect nothing from women, like children they can only follow from your lead

You are right to be on guard, but don't bother too much with being on defense, you must dominate and have a solid frame(MikeCF has very good insights about frame on his blog danger&play) even if the girl cheats just move on, caring and suffering for an undeserving woman is a sad fate for a man

Post: #12

I always have trust issues with broads.
One big reason is I always feel like chicks are putting up a front for me. I've dated chicks who were all about me and liked everything I liked only to date someone else and be a completely different person.
I've had chicks beg me not to leave them and come crying to my doorstep only to date someone else 1 week later.
I've had chicks bang my best friends who I thought were loyal.

Trusting a female is like trusting a snake won't bite you when you're holding it. You just don't do that shit. If it makes her feel like you are distant, so be it. You're a man not a female.

Post: #13

(06-16-2016 09:02 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  Only 4 possible outcomes here:

1) If you trust her and she cheats - Loose
2) If you trust her and she doesn't cheat - Win
3) If You don't trust her and she cheats - Loose
4) If you don't trust her and she doesn't cheat - Loose (because you ruined the relationship by not trusting)

You can only control whether or not you trust, not weather or not she cheats, so your choice by the above logic only gives you one chance to win.

You have to trust. (but verify)

cosign
In my opinion you have noting to loose when you trust because If they ever did break it , it in my experience has made me stronger and eventually im numb to the pain of someone breaking my trust. It doesn't hurt for me to trust them because it creates an opportunity to have a great relationship with people, and if they break it now , oh well. Plenty of other people to move on (I make it a goal to always meet new people every single day) and create with. Those who don't break my trust I keep because they deserve it. Those that break it , I drop immediately (friend or family alike) Its a very clear cut line and my current friendships are the best i've had thus far not to say I haven't suffered some hardship along the way.

Post: #14

Be courteous AND suspicious.

If your gut instinct says "don't trust her" listen to it. Don't show it but absolutely listen to it. It is easier to trust people and girls when you are younger but the older you get the more careful you become. The hard part is the balance between being cautious and having fun, that's why young people get more hurt and older people seem more cynical and distanced.

I recently broke up with a girl after about 8 months, I didn't trust her (because of various red flags) and it showed so she decided to end the relationship. I felt like shit in the first week (I am human after all) but after that I got over her much easier because I didn't give her too much of me.

What you should do is screen her without showing it but at the same time have fun with her.
Only time you spend together will show if she truly is your ideal girl or a red flag trap.

Post: #15

(06-18-2016 10:25 AM)Ibagemyoutagem Wrote:  In my opinion you have noting to loose when you trust because If they ever did break it , it in my experience has made me stronger and eventually im numb to the pain of someone breaking my trust. It doesn't hurt for me to trust them because it creates an opportunity to have a great relationship with people, and if they break it now , oh well. Plenty of other people to move on (I make it a goal to always meet new people every single day) and create with. Those who don't break my trust I keep because they deserve it. Those that break it , I drop immediately (friend or family alike) Its a very clear cut line and my current friendships are the best i've had thus far not to say I haven't suffered some hardship along the way.

My friend, it may be good you don't care much about some girl being untrustworthy, however I think that you do lose when you show trust to someone who is not worthy of it.

ZFG attitude does have its merits but having ego/dignity and protecting it, is equally valuable (I think this is the part that makes you feel stronger after).
Don't tell me you don't feel at least dissappointed when a break of trust happens.
And most of the times relationships, especially with family and friends, aren't at all only black/white but in the grey area in between, so it may not be that easy to completely cut them off.

As I said before , trust and cautiousness are difficult to balance and in the end it is up to you to choose what you value more according to your character and experiences: have good time and get more hurt later or keep some things to yourself and get over the dissapointment more easily if it happens.

I acknowledge that though: It probably is easier for a relationship to succeed if you trust the other person than the opposite.

Post: #16

(06-16-2016 08:58 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  Speaking seriously, my experience is that if you want total ownership of a woman (her monogamy) you need to act the part. Women, more than men, have to act a thing out for it to be real to them. That means everything from how you touch her in public to how you bang her.

There is a golden point of domination that lies between perceived-apathy and deranged obsession. Most women want to be dominated (regardless of what they say) because domination is attention and attention infers you are not looking for a replacement. Moreover, domination is a kind of attention that demonstrates power, something their instincts demand a suitable protector and provider must possess. This is why the endless fountain of non-dominant attention a beta orbiter provides never gets him laid.

In practice this means doing things like guiding her by the small of the back when in public together. Using public displays of affection wherein you control her utterly (see the classic "V-Day kiss" picture). Buy her a new neck choker every week. She'll get the message soon enough and hopefully start wearing them. When you go out, order for her (at least her drinks). In private you need to be banging her at least most of the time in a dominant manner (hand firmly gripped on the back of the neck is psychological gold). If you're living together then it doesn't hurt to have a few photos around the place that reinforce this whole concept (one of her sitting and you standing behind her with your hands on her shoulders, another with you carrying her over your shoulder playfully for example).

All of this might seem a bit over the top, or maybe it's stuff you mostly do anyway. Decades ago all of this would be unnecessary, but these days the social order has gone to seed and keeping a woman faithful requires a little more effort than it used to. Sadly a lot of women have been indoctrinated to react negatively to this kind of treatment. I would suggest that if your dominance triggers annoying fits of rebellion then you're not looking at a woman with high LTR value.

Hope these ideas help.

Great post. I agree.

Post: #17

When in comes to trust and interacting with women:

I really don't believe in trust; as in the kind of trust between two men, for example. Women are generally speaking, selfish and emotionally driven individuals where a man's concept of trust really doesn't exist in their minds (as in: you do your part and I will do my part). Any man who tries to trust a woman like they would with a man is ultimately doomed.

What do I believe in then? I believe in leverage.

What is leverage?

Examples of leverage are:

1. You can replace a woman without much effort.

2. You are comfortable with yourself to be alone and without a partner.

3. You have hard evidence protecting yourself from false accusations.

4. You live in a country/state where anti-male/anti-provider laws don't exist and therefore, can't get raped on child support, alimony, divorce, etc.

5. Your host culture emphasis' women being fit and rejects things like older women having kids/single motherhood.

6. Extensive daddy/welfare government doesn't exist.

7. You generally don't care about a woman's negative emotions towards you (to the point where you would not be overly emotionally affected by it at least); you only care if she is meeting her end of the deal at the present moment.

7a. In the early stages, this means lots of fucking, being pleasant and easy to deal with and so on. In the latter stages, this additionally includes displaying actions that demonstrate she has "Mother of My Children" qualities. You ultimately care about results; not getting sucked into her fleeting emotions that can swing in either direction for a thousand different reasons on any given day.

Personally, I think a major root cause for all the problems in western relationship dynamics these days is that men by and large at all levels, have lost almost all of their leverage in dealing with women. Thus, men are at the mercy of a woman's/a militant feminized society's emotionally driven goodwill and their respective concept of "trust."

Now, being game/red pill aware can restore some of this leverage but every men in the western world is still working within the confines of an environment where male leverage largely doesn't exist and is operating from a enormous disadvantage in the matter of relationship power dynamics; power dynamics where culturally and biologically, men are still expected to be the leaders. The problem is: it's pretty hard to lead anything without power and leverage.

In the end, I find that when most men complain about "trust issues" with women, it really stems from a lack of real/perceived loss of leverage and these same people are trying to rationalize holding on to what they got because they don't have the power (again, real and/or perceived) to replicate what they have today. The truth is if these same people had more leverage, most of these sort of "trust issues" wouldn't exist. Why? Because women naturally respond and often fall in line to dominance, power, and the men who display it.

Simply put, there are virtually no consequences for a woman to betray a man at any level of society today. Restore the consequences, restore men's leverage, and many of these "trust issues" and the reasons for their manifestation become obsolete.

Post: #18

In order for a relationship to flourish, you need to let a woman into your castle - but you can never give her the keys.

I can't speak for how things "used to be" because I was born in the late 80's... but I will say from my experience, observations, and personal research - unconditionally trusting a woman is a poor choice that opens you up for far more bad than good.

Point is, you can not stop a woman from cheating, lying, or whatever else she may be apt to due. This has always been the case since forever, but the changes over history in different human cultures throughout the world effect the probability of these things happening. I can say there used to be a time in the West where women were publicly shamed and outcast for dishonoring a man - in some culture this still happens, and worse. Such is not the case in our current times. It is far more common to get fucked by women you invest a lot of yourself in these days.

Look at the risk vs reward when entrusting a female with everything you have.

Post: #19

(06-20-2016 11:26 AM)The Black Knight Wrote:  Personally, I think a major root cause for all the problems in western relationship dynamics these days is that men by and large at all levels, have lost almost all of their leverage in dealing with women. Thus, men are at the mercy of a woman's/a militant feminized society's emotionally driven goodwill and their respective concept of "trust."

This is spot on the point.

Welfare, government, police, army and white knights have made men redundant in women's lives. We are playthings to discard or use and abuse.

Western society is set up so you HAVE to trust a women - with you heart, your kids and your assets.

She doesn't have to trust you, the government is behind her, and she will get everything, no trust required.

Post: #20

I have a joke about trust.
"You really don't know what trust is until you let a cannibal give you a blowjob"