Post: #1

A few days after my 26th birthday, I had sex with just the 2nd girl in my life.

My first relationship, and when I lost my virginity, I was 22. It lasted for six months. And when it ended, I wouldn’t have sex for another three-and-a-half years.

The 2nd girl I’d ever had sex with was on a second date. This was three months after I started learning game. She was an exceptionally cute Mexican girl, raised in the States with nice tan skin, and very large breasts. After she left my place for the night, I was thinking, “I did it.”

The previous two months, I had read through Day Bang (and Bang). I approached her using the method straight out of Day Bang.

“I can’t wait,” I thought at the time, “until she's my girlfriend. I’ll tell her the story about how I opened her using an ‘elderly opener’. And this thing called ‘GALNUC’, how it was a strategy I used to ask for her number. Wait until I tell her these things, it’ll be such a funny story.” (I cringe writing this...)

Game had worked. I went to bed satisfied. I could relax and let up the hard work of approaching. I didn’t need to learn more game. I was done with game.

A week later, we had our third date. It was at a wine bar near her, and we walked back to her place. I thought to myself, this is awesome. We’re going to have sex again.

We sat on her bed, and when I went to kiss her, she said, “No. Not here my apartment is really small, not here.” I tried one or two more times, but she resisted quite strongly. For a kiss.

“Hmm. That's strange.” I thought, "Okay we’ll just do it at my place." I’ll invite her over for something at my place, like to cook. She came over to cook dinner. We made dinner, but she insisted that we eat outside. And when we were done eating, she told me she had to go.

This wasn’t looking good.

We went on one more date, before she made it clear she just wanted to be friends. We had sex just once.

I was upset of course, but optimistic it wouldn’t be long until I found another girl…

A girlfriend, or a fuck-buddy, or someone you’ve had sex with multiple (at least three) times. In my opinion, anything less is not a girlfriend. It’s a girl you’re still getting to know.

For the players reading this, how long did it take you to find a girlfriend/fuck-buddy upon starting to learn game and what was that like for you?

--

I started learning game in May 2014

It took two years.

Two years.

Easily one thousand approaches, probably closer to 1,500 approaches.

260 phone numbers.

It took going out almost every Saturday night for 15 months.

It took first dates with 50 different girls.

It took sex with 12 girls.

It took all of this until May 2016 where I could say I was with my first girlfriend/fuck buddy. A girl I was sleeping with regularly, who I banged at least three times, who I enjoyed, and she enjoyed being with me.

When I first started game, I’m not even sure my main goal was to find a girlfriend. I just never thought it would take two years. It certainly would have been cool to be with someone I liked hanging out with, and have some certainty in my sex life.

You’re probably going to do better than me.

It’s probably going to happen to you in less than two years.

But if you told me from the day I got phone number, it would take me 259 more phone numbers before I could confidently say I had a girlfriend/fuck-buddy, I might have given up right there.

Even if you never learned game, you could find a girlfriend. Millions of people do. Why was it so difficult for me? I don’t know.

Just know that:

1. Game doesn’t end. I thought it did once you found a girlfriend. You might choose to file it away for the time being, you might already be in a relationship, but that relationship will end. You’ll need to go right back out there. Even if you are in a relationship now, start. Make an approach tomorrow.
2. It might take longer than you ever anticipated. I can almost guarantee you will do it faster than me.
3. Don’t be discouraged if it takes a long time. You’ll have tons of crazy life experiences along the way. Experiences most men will never have.

But back to the girl I mentioned at the beginning for a second. Let’s say I was better at my game at the time, and we got into a relationship. Eventually we’d break up. I’d be right back to where I left off.

So I’m glad I had those two years of going out alone on a Saturday night and making approaches.

I’m glad I approached the girl at the gym who I never could get out on a first date, or the one at the park who never returned my text.

I’m glad it took that long.

Because it forced me on to this forum to ask questions when I wasn’t succeeding.

It forced me to go out and approach that girl on the bus who I met up on a first date then never saw again. Or that girl at a nightclub on a Sunday night who came back to my house 45-minutes later and gave me the best blowjob I’ve ever had. It forced me to say to myself, even though I've never done this before, I'm going to go on a capture-the-flag trip. It took me over a month to prepare, and overcome all sorts of hurdles, but while there I succeeded. Nothing comes close to the ups and downs of that trip.

I wouldn’t have had any of these experiences if I was in a relationship. I’d be spending my time with one girl.

So I’m bitter it took two years. But more than anything, I’m glad.

P.S. Game Goal 1 for 2016, accomplished.

Post: #2

I'm quite contrary to perhaps the vast majority of players here. I started out in game without realising what game was or even knowing about it. If I were to give a direct answer it would be 3.5 years or so. But that answer is pretty much meaningless as my goals/desires changes enormously throughout that time.

My journey into game starts when I'm 17 (technically earlier but but timeframe wouldn't work well) via missed opportunities. Opportunities were entirely my lack of foresight be it preparation or whatever. First girl I could have banged was drunk, horny and I didn't have a condom so I went home. I was tired, drunk and not horny enough. Next opportunity missed is on holiday on my second to last day. Walked her back to her hotel room, should have gone by the shoreline. Both my fault and both I wasn't going to stress over. I did take note that they were both right place right time with objectively speaking 7 or 8s.

I was at a house party and ended up outside smoking with this frumpy English chick who I had zero interest in. She looked rough as a dog and didn't really understand properly the situation I was in and was crying all the time. I asked her to leave me alone and what of the other guests swooped in and took her upstairs.

I did become a lot more confident and attractive to girls which did lead to a couple more missed opportunities. One of which with a English/Indonesian girl, opportunity missed I learned years down the line was called logistics.

Then I did early online game and met with this stoner chick who had a boyfriend. We made out and fooled around and I fucked her the second time I saw her. Pre-fucking I was into her post-fucking I was not and I noted that. Came in handy.

Few more uneventful missed opportunities and opportunities I took advantage of as well as girls I was actually interested in I noticed the following.

If I'm really into her I get nowhere
If I'm not bother an opportunity presents itself

I'm 18 almost 19 by this point. Still have no idea what game is but have a few notches under my belt.

One notch claims that I kicked her out in the morning and made her walk home in the snow. She talked about it in front me and her friends in a bar. Over the next 6-12 months I bang all of those friends. I'm not interested in either of them much. But I do find a girl I am really into and I have another missed opportunity (she was volatile emotional and very drunk at the time) I act overlay beta and she is turned off and I'm hurting.

I'm 20 at this point and at the moment I make the conscious decision to never act like that again. I know I need to get her out of my head and I do that by sleeping with a few girls, one of which becomes a fuckbuddy. A few months before I'm 21.

Which is about 3.5 years.

It was about 2 weeks after my 21st birthday I discover game formally. I had no idea what it was to that point and couldn't recall hearing what it was either. I did buy some game literature and the biggest eye opener I had was that I knew a lot of it anyway.

I did find post game awareness that my motivation levels dip a lot depending on what I'm doing. I'd say I transitioned to being mostly concerned with my own lifestyle. But I do miss plenty of opportunities, perhaps even more than before as I know there are so many opportunities presented each day.

Enjoy the game but remember none of the results really matter in the end. It is all about creating experiences and enjoying them.

Post: #3

With my new found super powers, took about three years to sow my wild oats before I met a chick that I wanted steadily. There was a whole lot of debauchery prior to chilling out. After we broke up, it was probably amount three years before I let myself get tied down.

WIA

Post: #4

Interesting...at first I thought WIA slightly misinterpreted the question, but on further glance, he may have it right. The frustration of not getting LTR or fuck buddy is an unfortunate side-effect of the red pill, in many cases. Of course, without the pill, your dick would still be dry.

I believe for most guys, popping the red pill creates a dynamic between yourself and the women you have sex with, whereby not only is the player more stringent for who to LTR, but the women are more careful with LTRing the player (unfortunately).

This can be frustrating for either party in different situations (Scenario A player meets potential LTR, Scenario B chick wants to LTR player). As a player, you deal with it...as my psychologist always said, "choose what set of problems you want to live with".

The unfortunate consequence lessens over time as the player improves. The player (guy who popped the RP) must understand that you'll see more and more Scenario B than A as you get wiser.

Post: #5

I had 2 girlfriends before finding Game. Both dumped me.

So negative time?

After that it took 12 months til I got another fuckbuddy, which eventually became my girlfriend. My Game still wasn't that strong by then though so I got dumped after a year. Since then though I've never got dumped, though my relationships I'd say as always max fuckbuddy level.

Post: #6

I have only had three girlfriends. My first one was when I wasn't in the game and she cheated on me (have a thread about it). The second chick was when I was in the game for about 8 or 9 months, ended up breaking up with her because I discovered she was a narcissistic slut. The one I'm currently with, is pretty cool, so I'll let it run its course.

All in all, since discovering game, out of every 30 girls I banged, maybe one of those was worth dating. Of course, that also depends on location. I was in DC at the time.

Post: #7

The PUA journey is a slow and arduous one. I started at 17, spent about 6 months in my home country doing day game practically every day, got only three dates, one of them was an African immigrant who I went on 3 dates with before the bang, she was a run-down post-carouseler looking for a green card. I dumped her after the first bang, as I saw it coming, though I suppose this was the first time I could have had a girlfriend, even if I would have been the beta in the relationship. Looking back on that period, I realize there were so many girls I approached who were DTF, but I didn't know what I was doing. There were even girls I approached who tried to move things towards an SDL, but because I was so focused on the PUA structure, I wouldn't let them (or even realize what they were trying to do), and it wouldn't go anywhere.

My first game trip was to Poland, when I was 18. My daygame had become slightly better, enough that in a two month period I went on, dates with 6 different girls. I got major one-itis for one, who I now realize was a major slut who nowadays I probably could have fucked in 10 minutes off the street. She was totally DTF at the time, and I only realize that now in retrospect. When we went on a date, she wouldn't even let me kiss her, she realized how much of a beta I was. She blocked me harshly, for two dates. She told me she didn't want a relationship, obviously that is what I was projecting. After two dates without even a kiss I told her I didn't want to see her anymore, she sent me a message saying now she wanted a relationship, "because it would be amazing". I ignored her message and never saw her again. Regardless, it hurt me, and it caused me an anxiety that lasted for around a year. I didn't get a single bang in Poland, during two months. Yes, gentlemen, not a single bang. The girls all found me physically attractive and got very nervous and jittery when I approached, but the stench of beta quickly destroyed every interaction.

During this year of anxiety, I became obsessed with the topic of sluts. I made it my goal to understand exactly the mentality of these girls, and analyzing my Polish trip / obsessively reading red-pill stories on sluts and cheating, made me understand many things about female sexually and specifically about how the Western sexual market works. My main lesson, and what really revolutionized my results, was understanding R/K-selection. That yes, even though all girls did indeed want love deep down, it was a mistake to go in with that mindset. You had to go in trying to fuck them as quickly as possible, keeping it strictly sexual, telling them you don't want a relationship. Even with the most conservative girls this was the best course of action. I didn't understand before that emotional connection is something that a girl must arduously extract from you AFTER sex, not before.

The 10 months following that trip were strictly work, but I kept a document where I wrote all my thoughts. My anxiety had caused an obsession where random thoughts and analysis of past experiences made me realize new things every day. The document, written over 10 months, is over 1500 pages long, of random thoughts that I would write every single day. The red pill is an extremely deep topic, and even if these things could all be properly written down, reading them would not be enough. Cultural programming and indoctrination from youth causes you to reject it all, you simply cannot accept it. The process of accepting these truths is gradual and happens over the course of many years, there's no way around it.

After these 10 months, I had gathered so much information that I was ready for what would now be my first SDL. Before I barely even understood what sluts were, I thought that if a girl slept around it was out of the desperacy of finding a boyfriend, and that it was extremely rare or unheard of, or that SDL's were some huge PUA feat instead of a standard turn of the carousel. After my newly acquired knowledge (and I was still blue-pill if I compare myself to today), I went out and it took me two weeks of daygame to SDL an Italian girl who was fat and hideous. She was disgusting, but I was proud that I managed to do it for the first time in my life.

6 months later, I did what would be my first of many trips to Russia, now at the age of 20. This two month trip yielded 6 bangs. This was insane for me, as I had only ever had sex with two girls in my life before, one of them a green-card whore who made me wait, the other a disgusting fat pig. One of the girls during this trip was 185cm and was a legitimate Moscow 9 (I say that by my current standards, not by the standards of the beta loser days). Before going to Russia, I hadn't even laid my eyes on a girl like that before, having sex with one truly felt like a lifetime achievement at the time. She was conversative (only two other partners before me), and I managed to bang her on the first date after 3 hours of LMR (one of which was at the door of my apartment and involved me touching her pussy on the street as she faintly tried to remove my hand with a mixture of horniness and good-girl resentment). You can only imagine how much I had progressed in the past year, from the Polish trip where I could barely even kiss a girl, to fingering a supermodel on a first date outside my apartment door. I could have made her my girlfriend, but I was leaving the country soon after. The lessons of the past year had truly opened the floodgates, and this one event was important as my confidence was changed forever after it.

Back in my home country after this trip, I fucked 7 girls in 8 months, all while working and not actively gaming. They were spurts where I felt I wanted to bang and it never took me more than one or two daygame sessions to get a lay. This would have been unthinkable for me in the past. I got my first girlfriend during this period. She was a slut, but in my country that's all there is, she was hot and good in bed, so I sucked in up, knowing regardless that she'd probably bang other dudes. She did. At the end of the day, this isn't really your fault, sluts are gonna slut, and the only way to avoid it is by avoiding dating sluts. I went in knowing what would happen, but it was better than being alone. It made me miss Russia, where just a few months earlier I had had the chance to have a conservative ultra-beautiful girlfriend whom I know would have been loyal. This 4 month relationship with a slut was extremely eye-opening. I was very non-judgemental, and she told me her sexual history and the history of other girls she knew. The stories I heard were pure insanity, things I would have simply never believed if they had been told to me just a year earlier. It made me truly grasp and understand the extreme perversion of the mentality. These inner game advances I made were crucial in later opening the floodgates further. Over my game career I focused on many of the "special sexual situations" sluts would tell me about, doing practically everything possible, going out of my way to try everything.

My next trip was to China. I had sex with 32 girls in ten weeks, at age 21. I attributed it to the Asianness of the place, but at age 22, I returned to Poland, to the same city I had gone to 4 years earlier and gotten zero bangs. In ten weeks, I fucked 24 Polish girls. Yes gentlemen, 0 in ten weeks to 24 in ten weeks, with 4 years of game under my belt. At that point, I felt like I had mastered it. Like I could go out and fuck a girl the next day without any problem, and get a girlfriend whenever I wanted.

Excuse the long post, but I want people to see that this is a really long process. It's worth it in the end, but I went through almost two years of complete failure, thousands of hours invested where I got nothing, and countless nights where I felt like a failure as a person. If you're not willing to go through the process, then this isn't for you.

Post: #8

If you're just getting into game, don't even concern yourself with finding a girlfriend.

There are plenty of great resources through which to educate yourself in red pill philosophy: Roosh V website/forum, Return of Kings website/Wiki, Roissy/Chateau Heartiste's blog, "The Mystery Method" by Erik Von Markovik AKA "Mystery". If you're having trouble dropping your blue pill beliefs about women, I suggest you read "The Manipulated Man" by Esther Vilar to know what you're truly up against with the "fairer sex".

Although education is important, if you wait until you feel "ready" to approach girls, you'll be waiting for the rest of your life. Readiness is an illusion. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, either. You'll learn far more from fucking up than you ever will from your successes. It may sound cliche, but it's true, "Failure is just a chance to begin again more intelligently." Don't be OVERLY concerned with game theory, there are exceptions to every rule and all the knowledge in the world is worthless without practical application. The most important thing is getting out there and experimenting with different tactics and strategems.

As with most things in life, balance is key. You can game women without learning other skills, but I think you make your work a whole lot harder that way. Game, in the bigger picture, is about self-improvement. Seek to fortify your finances, eat healthy, develop a workout routine, read books, learn a new language, etc. The options are endless. It's much better to become an interesting, well-rounded person than merely pretend to be one long enough to get into a girl's pants.

Never give women too much power over you, especially by relying on them as your sole source of validation. It might sound cheesy but as long as you're OK with who you are, that's all that really matters. Basically, never forget that YOU are number one, not her. She can either get with your program or she can get the fuck out. Never be afraid to walk away from a situation that isn't serving you anymore.

I believe there's a tendency in life to want the opposite of whatever you have. When you're single and "spinning plates" you will at times feel empty and wonder if there's more to life than what you've been doing. You'll idealize feeling a deeper level of connection and intimacy with a woman. If you're in a relationship, you'll miss your freedom. The ability to come and go as you please without having to report to or even check-in with anyone.

The easiest way to find a girlfriend is by not looking for one. Go out and date around, play the field. After you have enough experience and have learned what you like and don't like, you'll be in a lot better position to screen for girlfriend material.

Above all, and if you take nothing else away from what I've written take this: Make your mission in life your number one priority. But don't make the mistake of making women your mission. Girls should always come second to your primary objective. Regardless of what they might say to the contrary, a female would much rather play second fiddle to man whose life is filled with purpose than to be "everything" to a man who has nothing else going for him.

Post: #9

I've always treated the title of girlfriend serious so I'm very slow moving and screen heavily for girls I wanted to actually make my girlfriend. It's the reason why I've only had three girls I've actually considered that and given that title to. The time between each of those relationships was pretty similar to WIA's. In between 2-3 years of all the dating and girls until I would find one that fit the criteria.

The rest in between were all plates, fwb, fuck buddies but never were the level where I considered them a girlfriend.

Post: #10

It depends on how many girls you can meet and what you're looking for. In general it's totally random thing. You never know whether the next girl you talk to is exactly your type or a total opposite of that.

Post: #11

(05-12-2016 12:51 PM)Jagnum Wrote:  How Long Does It Take To Find a Girlfriend After Starting Game?

I stopped having girlfriends when I started learning game.

The entire process of the Red Pill and learning about the nature of women tends to turn one off to the idea of entering any kind of committed or even semi-serious relationship.

Since I was a senior in highschool I never went more than 2 or 3 months without being locked down with a girlfriend. Now I've been 'single' going on 3 years and it's great.

There are times here and there where I am out somewhere or sit alone and think it would be nice to have a close female companion to share a certain experience with or curl up next to me doing nothing - but over time I have come to realize a few things:

- If you play your cards right, you can have wonderful women around you to experience nice things without having to take all the headache and heartache that comes with long-term relationships. Over the past 6 months, I've cuddled under blankets with girls and watched movies while eating junk food, had a girl teach me how to dance, had a romantic weekend stay in a cabin (more than once), gave/gotten erotic massages, gone on a couples hike, tried out new restaurants and microbreweries, had long deep conversations, had dinner made for me, etc. Not once was it with a "girlfriend" just a girl I was casually seeing briefly - and I've discovered that was plenty adequate.

- The long stretches of time when I was locked down with a girl in my younger years I would often find myself longing to be single, and when single again I was grateful. I've come to realize the freedom of being single is preferred - all the passion and puppy love of a "girlfriend" fades within a year and unless you are starting a family, the relationship gradually just becomes two co-habitants who slowly start to resent eachother while getting bored with one another.

- A man's heart and mind is strong. One can get used to most anything. Being happy and content being alone is one of the strongest assets a man can acquire. the amount of a things a free and focused man can accomplish are astonishing. All of the best things I've done in my life were done when I was single and the only things girlfriends did was selfishly get in the way of it.

Without a woman to distract me I...
Started a band and toured the country 3 times.
Graduated college.
Moved out of my father's house.
Started my career.
Learned how to record music and started a business.
Moved across the country.

Being single has brought out the best in me.

Post: #12

I too stopped having girlfriends, over the last three years as I dove into game.

I had a steady GF or wife since I was 18, for over 20 years. I have always had one available, with a few short breaks in between. But never lived a truly 'bachelor' lifestyle, where I didnt get locked down into an exclusive LTR. I was always envious of men that could live that lifestyle.

So over the last three years, being non-exclusive with lots of girls has been one of the most exciting times of my life.

As GS mentions ^^^, being happy and alone develops solid self esteem, self confidence, and is something every man should attain in their own self development. For me it resulted in many of the best things I have achieved, in the last five years.

I could have kept going, but one came in 6 months ago, from a typical daygame approach in a coffee shop, from a little "elderly conversation", and its the longest and only exclusive ltr I have had since really beginning.

Decide on what you want. I wouldn't try to keep one exclusive for a while. Go have some fun first and learn more about yourself first. You have a long way to go in your experience, and dont worry about your success right away. Build yourself into your own best image first, and then it comes so much easier.

Post: #13

There's some really good stuff in this thread

A lot of gems about game not just about women, but also about self-improvement.

If you wait to approach, you'll be waiting the rest of your life.

Go around, date, and play the field.

Post: #14

Agree with LeoneVolpe, if you are starting out in game dont think about getting a girlfriend, though ironically this is the initial goal for a lot of us.

Getting a quality girlfriend and keeping her is not for newbie, and involves quite a bit of maturity from your part. Not to mention sacrifice, because in the end, it's still a big time sink and investment, even if the LTR is happy and fulfilling.

Anyway, took me 2 years (and I would also add, a healthy dose of luck) to find the girlfriend I am with currently. It also took hundred approaches, many nights out, a lot of agony, some failed flings and failed mini-LTR.

You dont go out and find a girlfriend. You date around, fuck around with lots of women. If a girl is cool spend more time with her. If she is great for you then shackle up.

Obviously, depends also on your standards. If you want yours to be hot, low notch count, has huge racks and great personality, might take more time and even traveling.