Post: #1

I don't mean normal confidence, but more-so complete, utter self-confidence exhibited by a handful of people (like Donald Trump, Mark Cuban, Kanye West, Rick Ross, Vladimir Putin). These guys are like Teflon, absolutely nothing can mess with these personalities.

Is it the personality of shameless arrogance that allows for extreme forms of professional flourishing or is it the act of flourishing in one's profession that forges these super-confident personality?

I honestly don't think that one can "fake" confidence, but rather has to seek to "earn" it through life experiences. Like most self-help books try to do is build momentum...that's in my opinion, the key and why lifting is so stressed in manosphere circles.

Can an obese, World of Warcraft-playing neckbeard really "fake" this sort of confidence or would his inertial state-of-being create a negative feedback loop in his mind about the reality of the situation?

Also it's important to note that a lot of comedy centers on laughing at the irrationally self-confident (Ron Burgundy, Kenny Powers, Zoolander, etc.) and I wonder why this is?
shouldn't this be a sought after trait?

I do honestly believe this form of "egotism" is actually deceiving as it's "egoless" when analyzed more carefully, since these characters condition away any fears, anxieties, and depressions (all side effects of an "ego" that wishes not to be hurt) in place of extreme competencey in craft.

Post: #2

Without actually having access to the genomes of the men listed above, I'd wager a guess to say it is largely genetic. That is, some men have a genetic predisposition to embrace risk and speak their minds, regardless if what they say is popular or not.

The group above would comprise the vast majority of irrationally self-confident men in my opinion.

The second group of men who have that same type of gusto aren't genetically gifted with that trait, but are extremely high IQ and EQ men who know about the power of self-confidence, NLP, human psychology, group dynamics and all related fields. These aren't your "naturals", but rather have learned the "game" of self-confidence through intense study, plus trial and error.

When you consider that we all only have one life to live, even if you aren't a natural, there is absolutely no harm in going out there and perusing the life you want to live as a man. Even if a man who is self-confident isn't always the nicest person to be around, you can learn to shape your life using confidence for how you best think the world should be molded.

In the end, nobody respects a mush mouth.

Reference:

Post: #3

To me, confidence is simply conviction in your daily demeanor and communication. In-the-moment belief in what you're doing / saying.

I almost think enthusiasm and confidence are roughly the same thing. Your heart is really into something, or it's not. Trump enjoys what he does. He enjoys debating, politicking, negotiating, etc... The others are pretenders and don't have real convictions.

Most conviction and self-belief is highly situation, however. I.E. the highschool quarterback who can't get laid in college and doesn't understand why his social value has changed. Your picture of yourself is largely whatever environment most of your youth was in. Few can adapt.

A lot of supposedly 'confident' people can't adapt to new situations because their picture of themselves is only reinforced in their hometown, social circle, job, etc... That's why I think it's important to sit back and observe (in many cases), instead of being the enthusiastic guy with fun conviction. Things change. You have to take survey and adapt. I think to truly learn and gain wisdom you need to go through a period of little/no confidence so you can observe what really makes your self identity real.

Kind of like those retired NFL players who kill themselves. Their identity and confidence were situational, based around their high status career. That's why I think true confidence can only come from introverted, isolated belief in one's world view.

Edit: Like Fortis said below, I think smarter people are more analytical and less confident. There are 7 billion people, smart people recognize it's irrational to believe so deeply in yourself when there are so many other methods / people who might be better. So they think. Confident people simply act without regard. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Post: #4

I think a lot of that is genetic. Which i know sounds like a cop out, but I think that is a huge part of it.

I can put on false bravado after years of being around true, extremely confident people, but I am not wired that way.

People like my younger brother are just wired that way. I grew up with my step-dad but I am not like him in that way. He's one of those high-level sales guys who is just bred for that environment. He doesn't flinch and just goes all in and brings home a lot of money doing it.

My brother (his biological son) is just like that. He doesn't consider failure. He just does something and he's doing it. There is no philosophical basis for that. In his mind, he's the best guy doing what he's doing and you could present all the data you wanted to him and he'd still find a way to say he's the best and everyone else is just waiting to be second place.

I doubt my younger brother has ever read a book of philosophy of his own volition. It's just encoded into his blood to not give a fuck and go all in.

Sure, you can glean some mindset techniques from that (as I have), but I won't ever be on that level. I'm more of a thinker in that regard. I like to consider many different angles and plot my approach accordingly. Guys like my brother just pick a target rush towards it and either get it or crash.

Post: #5

Confidence is competence in my book. I wouldn't feel confident in a lab with nuclear physicists. I feel confident in the gym because I lift every night. Anything can be learned and mastered and so can confidence.

Post: #6

A lot of game (as in PUA) theory is this 'philosophy' around self confidence. All of the 'congruency' and 'state' pontification is pretty much referring to it. In essence, the key to self confidence is explanatory in its name. You simply have to believe that what you are doing is who you are. When you don't believe it, and really believe it deep down, it manifests as exhibiting and feeling low self confidence.

PM me if you want my recommendation for a game oriented self confidence PDF.

Though, what will help you most is a certain type of experience with women. And yeah, I know that it's a catch 22.

Post: #7

(04-30-2016 12:04 AM)BIG BOSS Wrote:  Confidence is competence in my book. I wouldn't feel confident in a lab with nuclear physicists. I feel confident in the gym because I lift every night. Anything can be learned and mastered and so can confidence.

Yes, that is certainly part of it. A positive feedback loop of success drives further success, and therefore, more confidence. It is a virtuous cycle that becomes self-reinforcing.