Post: #1

I'm now 24 and I'm starting to lose touch with some of my friends from college. I really only have three guys who I can call on in case of an emergency or to chat about life. Is anyone else in the same situation?

Post: #2

Roll solo I don't need no friends. Still flip that 'Lac I don't need no Benz.

Post: #3

Most of your "friends" throughout your life will be champagne friends. Sad but true.

Post: #4

I only have a few actual friends I made in college. People who say you make lifelong friendships there are full of shit.

Post: #5

I'd say 4. That's how many I see/talk to on the regular, everyone outside that is merely an acquaintance. All 4 don't really know each other so it allows me to rotate. Problem is that I don't live too near them, closest is near 30 miles away.

Post: #6

It isn't an age thing, it is the quality of person thing. Not only the quality of those who are your friends, but a lot has to do with the quality of person you are.

Don't make age a thing you go to every time there is an issue. Sometimes when I flip through other forums some kid will want to have something reviewed and they put their age in their description as some sort of pre-excuse why it sucked.

While I am on a tangent, the other thing I hate is when people ask only for constructive criticism, as if any opinion they don't like is automatically not constructive.

Post: #7

As you get older, things change. You aren't going to see your friends all the time like you used to. You'll have your own shit to do and so will they. If you're lucky, you'll see them every once in a while (provided they don't have a nagging bitch wife/girlfriend who prohibits such activity). Your friendship will likely take the form of text messaging/"liking" the stupid shit one another post on social media. But once in a blue moon, when you do get together it's like nothing's changed even though everything's changed. You pick right back up where you left off and it's pretty fucking amazing.

Post: #8

Honestly I've only ever made bar buddies who come and go.

If I could redo things I would have joined the military when I got out of high school, I think there might be a better chance of making deep, lifelong friends in a situation such as professional sports or military service where men can forge a deep and meaningful bond.

These days friends are sometimes just someone to play Xbox or grab a few beers with, it's kind of sad.

Post: #9

This post makes me think why more guys on this forum don't get together? Admittedly you're not going to have the same bond as your best friend you spent 8 years with in high and college but I have more similar interest with most people on this forum then him now.

To get back to the actual post, you'll lose most of your friends. My closet friends are actually ones I made in elementary school. Everyone I've bonded with in college seems to have a mutual understanding that it was temporary.

Post: #10

(04-17-2016 03:01 AM)crawb Wrote:  This post makes me think why more guys on this forum don't get together? Admittedly you're not going to have the same bond as your best friend you spent 8 years with in high and college but I have more similar interest with most people on this forum then him now.

To get back to the actual post, you'll lose most of your friends. My closet friends are actually ones I made in elementary school. Everyone I've bonded with in college seems to have a mutual understanding that it was temporary.

Did you stay in the same place when you graduated from college?

Might be even harder assuming you move to a different state for college and/or work after graduation. This might be why I see so many people I knew from HS who are now married or in college still talking with their old HS buddies on FB.

(This is also why I'd say game is extremely important, because a lot of people after college or HS don't know how to talk to anyone who isn't in whatever meager social circle they have; I feel really bad for guys who's only social outlet after college is some mediocre office job with a bunch of middled ages women)

Post: #11

I've made age an issue in this forum because my thinking seems to have become a lot clearer as I've moved from my teens to my early 20's. I don't know the specific term, but I am aware that once you hit 25, your brain is an adult brain so you can make clearer choices. That's why I stress that I'm 24.

Post: #12

1. He is a man I've known for the better part of my life and a man that I have both been there for in difficult situations and have had be there for me in turn. We understand each other on an almost unspoken level. I consider him to be blood and in the unlikely event of a life-or-death situation, I would take a bullet for him.
I don't choose my friends lightly.

Post: #13

I made a lot of friends in highschool, had a pretty large circle of them actually.

Out of that very large group, only a handful remain, maybe 3 or 4. Each passing year we see each other less and less because we all have shit to do. Weirdly enough, these guys are my best friends and I probably would not be friends with them if we didn't go to school together at a young age.

In college I made 3 good friends, for some reason most of the guys at college were more interested in getting drunk and attempting to hook up with chubby cornfed girls than they were with having guy friends to do things with, like go shooting or even play videogames. Nebraska is a colossal shithole full of fatties and sad drunks.

I've actually made more friends (actual, good friends) at my first shitty job out of college.

There's this strange trend where a lot of the acquaintances I added on Facebook from my old school have deleted the majority of their college friends (myself included) under this idea that the social experiences they had in college "didn't count" and they're "ready to start a new chapter in their life" where they pare off all their old contacts and delete every trashy picture they had from years ago at parties.

Many of them are chicks who fucked around a lot and want to look good for a potential man. Some of the so-called "good girls" were the dirtiest whores around so I chuckle every time I see an engagement ring on one of them.

I laugh even harder when they finally get married and they put on the kind of weight that would make a hibernating bear blush.

Post: #14

All relationships need some kind of effort on your part. It's up to you whether you have "true" friends or not. If you treat them as casual acquaintances, then that's what they are. Make the effort to hang out and do shit together. You don't drive around with the hood of your car only painted in primer.

Post: #15

(04-16-2016 11:48 PM)johnbozzz Wrote:  I'm now 24 and I'm starting to lose touch with some of my friends from college. I really only have three guys who I can call on in case of an emergency or to chat about life. Is anyone else in the same situation?

Realistically, you can only really have a a couple of really close friends. That's normal.

No one can be that close with more than a handful of people in my opinion.

I myself only have 3-5 people I would call very close friends who I can share anything and everything with and confide in and vice versa. I would say only maybe 2-3 of those dudes are "best" friends whom would do just about anything for me and I would do anything for them.

I consider myself fortunate as I know a lot of people my age who only have one really close friend, or even none. Just a bunch of acquaintances. Some people are find with that, but I don't think I would be. While I can be pretty reclusive, I'm not that much of a loan wolf.

Post: #16

I'm actually glad you posted that, Stalin. I see a lot of guys from my college and high school tagging dozens of guys in photos and chatting about "their boys" and their fraternity, but that seems mere a way to raise their self esteem and make themselves look more appealing to the women of Facebook.
Also, I've fought pretty hard to keep my friendships alive. I don't know about girls on Facebook, though. I wonder if any of them have genuine female friendships at all.

Post: #17

(04-17-2016 10:24 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

(04-16-2016 11:48 PM)johnbozzz Wrote:  I'm now 24 and I'm starting to lose touch with some of my friends from college. I really only have three guys who I can call on in case of an emergency or to chat about life. Is anyone else in the same situation?

Realistically, you can only really have a a couple of really close friends. That's normal.

No one can be that close with more than a handful of people in my opinion.

I myself only have 3-5 people I would call very close friends who I can share anything and everything with and confide in and vice versa. I would say only maybe 2-3 of those dudes are "best" friends whom would do just about anything for me and I would do anything for them.

I consider myself fortunate as I know a lot of people my age who only have one really close friend, or even none. Just a bunch of acquaintances. Some people are find with that, but I don't think I would be. While I can be pretty reclusive, I'm not that much of a loan wolf.

I remember reading somewhere that says our brains are really only capable of handling 5-6 close friends. The rest of what we call "friends" are generally just acquaintances.

Your post is representative of this. Like you, I have about five or six friends I hang out with regularly, and out of that group there are three of them that I'm closest to. Not surprisingly, I've known those three since grade school. The others I met during high school.

Post: #18

Has that been out of convienience or were you able to meet other guys who shared your values at an earlier age?

Post: #19

(04-16-2016 11:48 PM)johnbozzz Wrote:  I'm now 24 and I'm starting to lose touch with some of my friends from college. I really only have three guys who I can call on in case of an emergency or to chat about life. Is anyone else in the same situation?

Short answer, yes.

Long answer, your one line posts and that other shitty thread you made indicate you are either lazy or just don't know how to present yourself better.

Based on your posts history alone i doubt many members of this forum would be jumping at the opportunity to meet up with you. That should give you something to think about.

Also i don't know what fighting really hard to keep your friends means, but since you mention you're still young, you're most likely coming off as clingy and having the opposite effect on people.

If you want more friends you're gonna have to be a lot more proactive compared to how it was during college. Throw parties at your house, or get into a sport or hobby and organize activities with those people into another area.

Specially don't complain about all the hard work you're gonna have to do, or using i'm just young as an excuse. Most people just sit on the couch on their spare time waiting for a text message from someone with an idea of something fun to do. You might aswell be that person.

Once you have a large group of friends, you're naturally gonna gravitate towards the people that have more in common with you and share your beliefs.

"True" friends have a lot more to do with what you do for them, than what they do for you. You can start by putting more thought into your posts and maybe contributing in a thread of your area of expertise on the forum.

Post: #20

Most of those guys I'm friends with from highschool have great jobs and are good people. Like I said in another thread, many of us played football and basketball from pee wee all the way through highschool. That's a lot of time spent together through experiences have bonded us.

I found it harder to make friends in highschool. Most were just drinking buddies and studying buddies but I did make a few from the fraternity and outside of it.

Not sure what guys here expect. Most men have 5 maybe 6 good friends when they hit the real world so that's normal. It's chicks who are fake and claim to have fake girlfriends or beta orbiters who they call their male friends.

Post: #21

I've lost touch with the vast majority of my college friends as well. No dramatic fights or falling outs, just gradually drifted our separate ways and stopped talking. As far as I can tell this is perfectly normal.

I'm seeing now that fraternity brothers tend to be the ones who stay friends years after they graduate.

Post: #22

I'm almost 21 - I have probably only two 'true' friends and a lot of acquaintances.

Like Cr33pin said, mostly roll solo. That isn't always a bad thing. Having a lot of acquaintances in your life is great, but keep your true circle tight.

Post: #23

Dog24, I generally don't enjoy being criticized but I do enjoy your post and your constructive criticism is helpful. Thanks.

Post: #24

I'm 24 and have probably 4 real best friends – all from the same community and who I've known since early elementary school. We've sometimes not talked for up to a year but are always able to reconnect. Through them I have quite a bit of acquaintances that are also from the same community, but just never bonded at the same level.

I have nearly zero friends from college I talk to. I know more people from volunteering abroad than from my time in college.

I'd rather have a handful of close friends than shallow relationships with an extensive amount of people, though that isn't necessarily a negative thing either. But a good comrade or two keeps you well grounded.

Post: #25

(04-17-2016 01:46 PM)johnbozzz Wrote:  I generally don't enjoy being criticized.

Who does?