Post: #1

So I met this girl at a party got her number the usual. Texted her had her over teased her about her being a stalker etc everything went well had her over for champagne and netflix haha.

We hooked up but didn't go all the way because she she wouldn't on the first day just on the third. I teased her kissed her made out with her body boobs made her want it yada yada. She went out of town for a few days when she got back she spent the night got a bit further almost all clothes except for her thong which she refused to remove until the 3rd night.

3rd night I Hung out with her the next night after a party. It seemed to be going well but me being a drunk fuck said "I miss you" fucking face palm i know. Anyways we still hung out and we went to her coworkers house where she disappeared in a room with her coworker for what i don't know but i didn't want to seem like a needy concerned bitch. Keep in mind we were kissing and walking with arms on each other and she was calling me cute all night so its not like i was just chasing with no rewards.

We me and her stupid drunk slut friends taxi out to a "party" full of dudes that weren't particularly friendly with me I knew no one. We were chilling there and i decided i wanted to go so me and her ubered back the whole way i was pretty pissed at this point as i was just trying to kick it with her but ended up spending an arm and a leg just for the uber.

i had my arm around her the whole way but i wasn't saying anything the whole ride. Got back just to realize I didn't have my keys, otherwise i was going to ask her inside. I told her i was kinda pissed that we had to do all this shit when she said she was going to come to my party earlier but instead she never did and showed up at 2 am. She said sorry and i was like its fine thats life have fun there. I tried to get her to stay but she said she wanted to take care of her friends, You know how persistent girls are with that shit.

She said sorry over text where i replied kind of the same thing. Now its been a little different where it was fun bubbly joking texts now its kinda cold one answer texts not eliciting too much response. I was texting her yesterday about a band i told her a song to which she said it was a good song. then i said a few more and she didn't reply and has not yet replied. I stopped texting her and am waiting for to send me a text first so i can kinda play the hard to get. This girl is my date to formal so i need to make sure this salvageable or find a new date plus i really want to get with her shit i am so close haha.

what do i do to get her back to the same way she was before this whole fiasco? I would invite her over for more champagne and Netflix but it seems repetitive at the same time i dont know another private place we can go unless i try to watch a movie with her. Or gone a hike or something.

Post: #2

Next. You're dead in the water here.

In the future, never let her dictate what's going to happen when you hang out. Always set the frame. She's coming along for the ride. You are the one calling the shots. Also, she presumably hooked up with a coworker at this party? You still want to take her to formal?

Post: #3

Your displayed emotions are all over the place. Pitiful. But then again you're not a dude. Gtfo.

Genre: Informal
Female = 1430
Male = 748
Difference = -682; 34.34%
Verdict: FEMALE

Genre: Formal
Female = 1231
Male = 601
Difference = -630; 32.8%
Verdict: FEMALE

Post: #4

(04-10-2016 02:13 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  Next. You're dead in the water here.

In the future, never let her dictate what's going to happen when you hang out. Always set the frame. She's coming along for the ride. You are the one calling the shots. Also, she presumably hooked up with a coworker at this party? You still want to take her to formal?

No idea if she did but okay will do. thanks for the advice. I dont know she was hella stoked about it wanted to chill with me alot telling me how she got a dress for it and got time off etc. then this.

Post: #5

(04-10-2016 02:18 PM)Virtus Wrote:  Your displayed emotions are all over the place. Pitiful. But then again you're not a dude. Gtfo.

Genre: Informal
Female = 1430
Male = 748
Difference = -682; 34.34%
Verdict: FEMALE

Genre: Formal
Female = 1231
Male = 601
Difference = -630; 32.8%
Verdict: FEMALE

Well besides the insult towards my manhood can you explain what when into your point calculations and shit. I'm working on my problems i understand i have fault and im trying to change them thus the reason for me asking advice. I dont see why you see the need to just insult and not give any constructive criticism.

Post: #6

(04-10-2016 02:26 PM)Jtguthrie12 Wrote:  

(04-10-2016 02:13 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  Next. You're dead in the water here.

In the future, never let her dictate what's going to happen when you hang out. Always set the frame. She's coming along for the ride. You are the one calling the shots. Also, she presumably hooked up with a coworker at this party? You still want to take her to formal?

No idea if she did but okay will do. thanks for the advice. I dont know she was hella stoked about it wanted to chill with me alot telling me how she got a dress for it and got time off etc. then this.

I'm she she was excited about it at some point, until you lost frame. Try to identify the point at which you lost control of the interaction and learn from it. Just charge this one to the game.

You will often have limited information to work with, learn to trust your gut. Once you sense she is pulling away or losing interest, resist the urge to double down and start ignoring her. That's a key many newbs need to learn. It doesn't matter if she was interested at some point, learn to acknowledge when it's best to either pull back or cut contact entirely and you will save much time and dignity in the long run.

Post: #7

(04-10-2016 02:34 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  

(04-10-2016 02:26 PM)Jtguthrie12 Wrote:  

(04-10-2016 02:13 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  Next. You're dead in the water here.

In the future, never let her dictate what's going to happen when you hang out. Always set the frame. She's coming along for the ride. You are the one calling the shots. Also, she presumably hooked up with a coworker at this party? You still want to take her to formal?

No idea if she did but okay will do. thanks for the advice. I dont know she was hella stoked about it wanted to chill with me alot telling me how she got a dress for it and got time off etc. then this.

I'm she she was excited about it at some point, until you lost frame. Try to identify the point at which you lost control of the interaction and learn from it. Just charge this one to the game.

You will often have limited information to work with, learn to trust your gut. Once you sense she is pulling away or losing interest, resist the urge to double down and start ignoring her. That's a key many newbs need to learn. It doesn't matter if she was interested at some point, learn to acknowledge when it's best to either pull back or cut contact entirely and you will save much time and dignity in the long run.

You are totally right now that i think about it at first I was just acting like i could pencil her in she was the stalker she wanted me etc and then later down the line when i started wanting it more and we started getting further i showed it too much lost value as the prize and then hung out with her whenever it was possible rather then what was ideal for me. Thanks man for the advice i will definitely remember this and identify it in coming interactions.

I just need to control my urges and emotions better because the first 2 nights i was solid af guess i just lost it on the last night and fucked myself pretty hard, fuck it abundance theory thanks brotha.

Post: #8

I suggest you forget about any form of sex until after the formal. Not even that night. Point being, you scared the kitty somehow and you've got to let it calm down.
It doesn't seem like you were saying she did something with the coworker, just that you were jealous. Remember, if you have to ask if you are acting jealous, you're acting jealous.
Just call her and ask her to meet for a coffee. Tell her you're sorry for acting weird that night but the guys at the party were being aggressive with you and it got you into fight mode. Just get her to go to formal, that seems the important thing.
It sounds like she is into you but you started acting weird. I guarantee if you get her to formal and don't try to fuck her, like you really don't care, she's going to start fucking you good.
Give us an update and stop overthinking everything.

Post: #9

Try not getting drunk so you can stay on point.

Post: #10

You would get more responses if your writing wasn't so bad because this is an interesting situation. However, you use bad grammar and run-on sentences that are hard to follow. Textspeak is against the forum rules.

(04-10-2016 03:25 PM)TornadoByProxy Wrote:  Remember, if you have to ask if you are acting jealous, you're acting jealous.

Agree

(04-10-2016 03:25 PM)TornadoByProxy Wrote:  Just call her and ask her to meet for a coffee. Tell her you're sorry for acting weird that night but the guys at the party were being aggressive with you and it got you into fight mode.

Disagree. Apologizing and explaining usually aren't good moves if you are still trying to get with the girl. The situation is partially her fault so apologizing is chasing her and being needy. You will probably get friend-zoned if you do this.

(04-10-2016 04:07 PM)BassPlayaYo Wrote:  Try not getting drunk so you can stay on point.

Strongly agree. Make a habit of being the one guy who isn't wasted at college parties and your game will get better rapidly.

(04-10-2016 02:26 PM)Jtguthrie12 Wrote:  I dont know she was hella stoked about it wanted to chill with me alot telling me how she got a dress for it and got time off etc. then this.

I think this situation would be easy to handle if she wasn't your formal date. You would assume she is gone unless she replies or follows up with a more enthusiastic attitude.

You could be dead in the water like Red_Pillage said but I would be careful if this girl goes to your school or is connected to your social circles. You don't want a reputation with other girls as the guy who un-invited a girl to formal after she bought a dress and got time off.

Hopefully, you have some time before formal. I would go silent on her and see how she responds. If she doesn't respond then start looking for another date. You could possibly invite her to coffee and apologize for things being awkward so you can mutually agree that she shouldn't be your date to formal.

If you don't have much time before formal then you want to meet with her or talk on the phone as soon as possible. You need to get a read on her and you won't get that from text messages. I think the most likely scenario is mutually agreeing to not go to formal together.

I hope other guys respond to this even though the writing is bad. It is an interesting situation with a lot of dynamics.

Post: #11

Update . She replied to my text and said "I'm sorry i missed your texts" and told me the songs i sent were good. I didn't reply for a while because my phone died. I texted her teasing her for not knowing a certain song then I butt dialed her realized it and hung up.

She sent me a snap that said "You hung up" with a sad face. I called her back and it wasn't awkward at all, it was back to normal. She was flirting and talking about the massages we gave each other, how i was so comfortable in bed and how she got her formal dress today so i think im solid haha. I was just overthinking it way too hard


I definitely acted needy, clingy and jealous that night so that was me being a fucking idiot. But i realize what i did and will remember it and not do it again.

I really want to stop relying on alcohol as crutch. It's just not easy to not drink on weekends when all your friends are at the bars and your buddies bought a keg. But i want to really make an effort to cut down on the drinking especially when it comes to game.

I would have been super dead in the water if i would have kept texting her. I stopped sending shit after she didn't reply and wait a day until she replied to regain face and apparently it worked. Thanks for the advice guys i definitely try to take it and apply it so i can keep progressing.

I'm going to make an effort to work on my writing.