Post: #26

@Off the Reservation

On the social front? Much better than I was a year ago. Setting up a study group fell through, but now I know good places to study and meet up with people on campus when I want to do it again. I've also been doing an improv class and going to a Toastmaster's group to try out some new things and meet people. Oddly enough, I have found I can talk or perform onstage better than I can interact with people one-on-one.

I got a job at a movie theater, and it's helped me out the most so far. It's a more relaxed setting, so I get to work on talking to a variety of people, joking around and being goofy with other employees (it helps since I usually take myself too seriously), work on my salesmanship skills, interact with customers all day, and learn from people who are better at this social stuff than I am. Free movies and popcorn are also a sweet bonus.

Girls-wise? It's been more challenging. All my insecurities and social fears get amplified when I talk to girls. I'm not the smoothest with girls, and my campus is always quick to announce some kind of assault crime on campus. I'm worried if I approach the wrong girl and make her uncomfortable, I might end up on the wrong end of a false accusation. Hell, I think I remember reading a report about a guy getting falsely accused of rape at my campus. He didn't get charged, but it was clear from the report his reputation wouldn't be coming back. I know it's not likely to happen to me, but it's always sitting there in the back of my mind whenever I'm on campus.

I've been slacking off and letting my fear get the best of me lately. To change it, I'm going to do some exposure therapy. I'll start with things I'm least afraid of socially, then go up from there. I'll go up to some shopping malls or around my town and make it a habit of being talkative and friendly with people.