Post: #1

Yeah, probably sounds weird to alot of you guys, especially since most people my age look forward to being adults. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly excited for the future, traveling, becoming independent, meeting new people and all of that. At the same time I'm sad because that means a chapter in my life is ending.

It sounds incredibly selfish but I really enjoy being this age, having no responsibilities, my parents do pretty much everything for me, my day is being structured for me. See, the thing that scares me about becoming an adult are all of the responsibilities it brings. People are going to have certain expectations of me and expect me to behave in an appropriate way. Right now it just doesn't matter what the fuck I do, if I fuck up people say " he's just a kid ". Everything just feels so light and easy. I'm going to miss going to school everyday and seeing my friends, or living at home with my parents and my sister and seeing them everyday.

I still remember when I was like 7 years old and thought 18 sounded like it was so fucking far away and now it's just 2 years away. I really don't feel anywhere near an adult. And it's all gone by so fucking fast. It feels like everyone around me is ready to become an adult and face all the challenges that brings while I'm not feeling anywhere near ready for that shit.

I have really mixed feelings about this, I want to become an adult because of the endless possibilities it brings and the fact that it's essentially the beginning of my life. But with the perks comes the cons too, I guess.

I really don't know, I still haven't fully thought this one out. The post probably looks like a bunch of confusing thoughts smeared into what resembles text. I don't know what answers I'm expecting on this, I just felt I needed to get this out somewhere as I haven't spoken to anyone about this, perhaps some words of wisdom from some of the older guys would be nice. Alot of people tell me I overthink stuff, so there's that.

Most people who read this might wonder why the heck I'm posting this here, well the reason why is because most of you guys seem to have your shit together. Perhaps this sounds like a " hamster rant " or " hamster text ", what do I know.

Post: #2

I think you should have titled this thread something different. You are coming of age and that is intimidating. Nothing changes when you become 18.

You should very reflective and intelligent. I think most people are scared of the unknown. I didn't see you mention what you are going to do. Are you going to college? Joining the military?

You will still have plenty of structure in the military and college. You need to do a massive reframe of your entire situation. Look at this as an opportunity to grow and adapt.

You sound a lot like me. You're thinking too much about this. You will also need to post more information if you want specific advice.

I think a lot of people go through this but a period of your life is coming to an end. Enjoy what time is left but realize you're about to move on to bigger and better things.

Post: #3

My 18th birthday was my weirdest birthday. I think it's the massive (and instant!) transition from one category to another for just about everything that makes it so.

As for the "he's just a kid" thing, if you're OK with that (not going to approve or disapprove), make the most out of it while people still have that mental image (which is independent of your actual calendar age) of you. Eventually, that'll go away. I'm in my late 20s and people ask me "What school do you go to?" even though I haven't been in school in years.

I'm also one of those who's a little nervous about change (meh, I prefer stability), so I can relate a little.

Post: #4

You're now responsible for 100% of your time. Use it wisely

Post: #5

Quote:Scared of turning 18...?

Quote:Yeah, probably sounds weird to alot of you guys

Quote:It sounds incredibly selfish but

Quote:People are going to have certain expectations of me and expect me to

Quote:Most people who read this might wonder

Quote:The post probably looks like a bunch of

Quote:Perhaps this sounds like [...] what do I know.

I notice a trend here... you have low self-esteem, you think too much about other people's opinions, you don't trust enough in your abilities and that is why you are afraid of the future and how to take responsibility for yourself. You even posted your statement in the thread-title with a question mark.

1) Try to improve that. Ways to improve confidence are: gaining experience, acquiring knowledge, playing sports/building muscle, training certain skills, making friends, etc...

2) You're still 16? At this age, even half a year will change you a lot. In two years, you will be very much different and you'll see everything very much differently. One requirement for this though: Do something somewhat meaningful with your time and you'll develop a lot until you're actually 18. Your brain just needs exposition to interaction with real-world stimuli. So don't waste that time in front of the computer, TV or with drugs.

3)

Quote:I really don't feel anywhere near an adult. And it's all gone by so fucking fast. It feels like everyone around me is ready to become an adult and face all the challenges that brings while I'm not feeling anywhere near ready for that shit.

Believe me, a lot of peers feel the same way but they just don't show it. Come to think of it - who of your friends really knows this stuff about you? They're probably thinking "I don't feel ready to be an adult but F1l1pV seems to be ready to face all his challenges."
You're 16 now - try to enjoy it while it lasts. You can start to worry when you're actually an adult. If you're really afraid of the challenges, try to "practice with a safety net": do a simple and easy job to earn some fuck-you-money while still not having to rely on it since you're still living with your parents. Not much can go wrong but you will get used to people relying on you (even if it's just for a simple task) to meet their expectations, you will get used to earning your own money, you will prove to your parents that you're diligent and you'll have something to better finance your hobbies or weekends.

Such doubts are somewhat normal and most of it will probably dissolve itself with time anyways since at the latest you will become ready once you're "thrown into the cold water" (which will prove to be actually not as cold as suspected). Times will change, required effort will increase, it won't be as easy as it used to be, but it has it's upsides too and you'll (have to) learn how to live with it.

What helps is to have your eyes open for what branch of specialization could interest you. At this point it would be normal for you to not know what to do later, but if you're vigilant about it, the idea will refine itself. Once you know what you want to do, treat that goal like a target and dash at it with full force. It will distract you from doubts and it will take the doubts away anyways since you'll become competent.
The reason why I even answer is because I can relate based on how I felt at your age. Overthinking took away from the would-be carefree moments that I still had available and it gave me nothing for it. Your only job right now is to study hard and not fuck up (e.g. with drugs or bad social circles).

Good luck.

Oh and there was a time when I got really motivated by Zyzz. Looking back, the older I get, the more ridiculous it seems but it actually doesn't matter as long as you find a way to get more confidence and motivation. Just don't start mixing roids and Coke. That seems like a really bad idea:




PS.: Whatever you do in life - you don't have to take any of my advice, but one thing I really want to stress: Whatever you do - do NOT, under NO circumstances whatsoever, watch porn. I'm not even kidding. If you continue to watch porn, that shit will take away so much quality of life from you, you wouldn't believe. There are many other things to enjoy - leave this one out for your own good.

Post: #6

Turning 18 makes you an adult legally but doesn't necessarily make you an adult mentally. Most 18 year olds are still children. Don't be a child and you'll be fine

Post: #7

(02-26-2016 08:45 PM)Requiem Wrote:  

Quote:Scared of turning 18...?

Quote:Yeah, probably sounds weird to alot of you guys

Quote:It sounds incredibly selfish but

Quote:People are going to have certain expectations of me and expect me to

Quote:Most people who read this might wonder

Quote:The post probably looks like a bunch of

Quote:Perhaps this sounds like [...] what do I know.

I notice a trend here... you have low self-esteem, you think too much about other people's opinions, you don't trust enough in your abilities and that is why you are afraid of the future and how to take responsibility for yourself. You even posted your statement in the thread-title with a question mark.

1) Try to improve that. Ways to improve confidence are: gaining experience, acquiring knowledge, playing sports/building muscle, training certain skills, making friends, etc...

2) You're still 16? In this age, even half a year will change you a lot. In two years, you will be very much different and you'll see everything very much differently. One requirement for this though: Do something somewhat meaningful with your time and you'll develop a lot until you're actually 18. Your brain just needs exposition to interaction with real-world stimuli. So don't waste that time in front of the computer, TV or with drugs.

3)

Quote:I really don't feel anywhere near an adult. And it's all gone by so fucking fast. It feels like everyone around me is ready to become an adult and face all the challenges that brings while I'm not feeling anywhere near ready for that shit.

Believe me, a lot of peers feel the same way but they just don't show it. Come to think of it - who of your friends really knows this stuff about you? They're probably thinking "I don't feel ready to be an adult but F1l1pV seems to be ready to face all his challenges."
You're 16 now - try to enjoy it while it lasts. You can start to worry when you're actually an adult. If you're really afraid of the challenges, try to "practice with a safety net": do a simple and easy job to earn some fuck-you-money while still not having to rely on it since you're still living with your parents. Not much can go wrong but you will get used to people relying on you (even if it's just for a simple task) to meet their expectations, you will get used to earning your own money, you will prove to your parents that you're diligent and you'll have something to better finance your hobbies or weekends.

Such doubts are somewhat normal and most of it will probably dissolve itself with time anyways since at the latest you will become ready once you're "thrown into the cold water" (which will prove to be actually not as cold as suspected). Times will change, required effort will increase, it won't be as easy as it used to be, but it has it's upsides too and you'll (have to) learn how to live with it.

What helps is to have your eyes open for what branch of specialization could interest you. At this point it would be normal for you to not know what to do later, but if you're vigilant about it, the idea will refine itself. Once you know what you want to do, treat that goal like a target and dash at it with full force. It will distract you from doubts and it will take the doubts away anyways since you'll become competent.
The reason why I even answer is because I can relate based on how I felt at your age. Overthinking took away from the would-be carefree moments that I still had available and it gave me nothing for it. Your only job right now is to study hard and not fuck up (e.g. with drugs or bad social circles).

Good luck.

Oh and there was a time when I got really motivated by Zyzz. Looking back, the older I get, the more ridiculous it seems but it actually doesn't matter as long as you find a way to get more confidence and motivation. Just don't start mixing roids and Coke. That seems like a really bad idea:




PS.: Whatever you do in life - you don't have to take any of my advise, but one thing I really want to stress: Whatever you do - do NOT, under NO circumstances whatsoever, watch porn. I'm not even kidding. If you continue to watch porn, that shit will take away so much quality of life from you, you wouldn't believe. There are many other things to enjoy - leave this one out for your own good.

Thanks, well thought out and comprehensive post.

I'm unfortunately wasting alot of time infront of the PC playing video games. I do go out with friends whenever they call me though.

I'm trying to hit the gym, but I only do so in the morning because I hate going there during daytime when there are loads of people there. Perhaps I should make myself go during daytime as a way to improve confidence? As in, perhaps overwinning that mental barrier of going in the middle of the day would improve confidence?

I've already applied for a job this summer so hopefully that'll work out.

Again, thanks for taking the time to write a detailed post Also, what's so bad about porn?

Post: #8

(02-26-2016 08:16 PM)MiscBrah Wrote:  I think you should have titled this thread something different. You are coming of age and that is intimidating. Nothing changes when you become 18.

You should very reflective and intelligent. I think most people are scared of the unknown. I didn't see you mention what you are going to do. Are you going to college? Joining the military?

You will still have plenty of structure in the military and college. You need to do a massive reframe of your entire situation. Look at this as an opportunity to grow and adapt.

You sound a lot like me. You're thinking too much about this. You will also need to post more information if you want specific advice.

I think a lot of people go through this but a period of your life is coming to an end. Enjoy what time is left but realize you're about to move on to bigger and better things.

I'm probably going to college. I've heard alot about other options though so I will definately read up on that.

I'm not all pessimistic about growing up. I am still excited for the change and the possibilities it brings. It's just that I'm going to miss this too and it'll never come back :/ I probably am overthinking this way too much though, most of my friends tell me I overthink everything. Thanks for posting

Post: #9

^^ Your at a very important stage of your life. Glad to see your thinking about the future. Here is my advive.

Contact some of the senior members on this forum and ask about advive. They are intelligent men with years of life experience.

Stop watching porn
No stupid video games
Hit the gym
Find ways to make money
Don't think about marriage
Whatever you do don't get a girl pregnant
Find a career that lets you live the live you want. (Traveling)

Best of luck

Post: #10

You're 18 and you know about TRP and RVF.

I would make a deal with the devil for real to go back to age 18 with that knowledge, as would many others undoubtedly.

You better live a kick ass life my man. You've been given a gift.

Post: #11

(02-26-2016 08:45 PM)Requiem Wrote:  

Quote:Scared of turning 18...?

Quote:Yeah, probably sounds weird to alot of you guys

Quote:It sounds incredibly selfish but

Quote:People are going to have certain expectations of me and expect me to

Quote:Most people who read this might wonder

Quote:The post probably looks like a bunch of

Quote:Perhaps this sounds like [...] what do I know.

PS.: Whatever you do in life - you don't have to take any of my advice, but one thing I really want to stress: Whatever you do - do NOT, under NO circumstances whatsoever, watch porn. I'm not even kidding. If you continue to watch porn, that shit will take away so much quality of life from you, you wouldn't believe. There are many other things to enjoy - leave this one out for your own good.

Can you explain more on this?

Post: #12

Quote:I'm trying to hit the gym, but I only do so in the morning because I hate going there during daytime when there are loads of people there. Perhaps I should make myself go during daytime as a way to improve confidence? As in, perhaps overwinning that mental barrier of going in the middle of the day would improve confidence?

Depends on why you don't go when it's busy. I prefer an empty gym because I don't have to wait for the burger-bros to finish their 10th set of bad-form-benchpress. But if the reason why you go early is because you are afraid of what other people think about your form, then yes, go there when it's full until you stop caring. I used to have the same problem when I started out. The trick is to focus completely on the exercise and your schedule. While you think about other people, you can't be focusing on your form the way you should be. It's like a meditation.

(02-26-2016 09:27 PM)F1l1pV Wrote:  Again, thanks for taking the time to write a detailed post Also, what's so bad about porn?

(02-27-2016 11:47 AM)loremipsum Wrote:  Can you explain more on this?

Well, porn seems to have a strong influence on several pathways in your brain. It hasn't been scientifically proven yet (before the porn advocates jump in), but several studies hint to it, plus a library full of personal-experience-reports strongly suggest it. One of the reasons why there isn't strong research yet is because it is close to impossible for researchers to find subjects for control-groups (=men who don't watch porn and have never watched porn regularly). The effects are more detrimental in younger brains and for people who had their first "sexual experiences" with porn rather than real girls. It does a couple of things, I can list some of which I can think of right now off the top of my head but if you haven't heard about this yet, I'd advise you to do some research. Of course, not all of the following will be the case for everyone and the severity will also vary individually.

1) With porn, you have to ability "to fuck" as many hot, beautiful girls every day, as you want. Whenever you feel horny even a bit, you can just get online and "fuck" any girl you could ever dream of. This is unnatural. The human brain is not made to be overwhelmed with such a selection. By doing this you basically flood your brain with dopamine. It feels amazing - almost like a drug, but it can also be as addictive as a drug. And after years of exposition, you will experience sexual oversaturation and jaded pleasures. The dopamine-receptors become less sensitive, which leads to a situation where normal levels of dopamine don't have a strong enough effect anymore. Which leads to point number two:

2) With porn, you not only have a huge variety of which girls you want to fuck, but also what they do. Every single fetish can be streamed immediately. This often leads to the development of weird fetishes that you never thought you had. In the beginning when boys start watching porn, just a nude girl will get them rock hard. After a while, they often start wanting something else. She has to get fucked. Then she has to get fucked in the ass. Then she has to get gangbanged. Then she has to... to be continued, you get the idea. At some point, some men experience that it is difficult for them to get erect with erotica only. And it can even lead to erectile problems with real-life partners. Real girls can't change into the other girl from tab number 20. Not every girl will want you to ATM her. So because the brain is adapted to sexual over-stimulation, it can not react accordingly to normal (sexual) stimuli anymore. This is what is called PIED (Porn-induced erectile dysfunction) and an increasing number of even teenagers seem to suffer from it.

3) This jadedness can cause problems not only in regards to sexuality. In every-day life your brain uses dopamine to regulate your mood and how your feelings react to the situations you encounter. When your dopamine-receptors are desensitized, you literally won't be able to enjoy life as much anymore. Dopamine has also motivating effects and helps with learning, etc. All this can be negatively impacted by porn. People report constantly feeling tired, dizzy, unmotivated, having some sort of brainfog, etc. Most of this resolves when they abstain from porn for a few weeks/months. All effects can be reversed with complete porn/erotica-abstinence.

4) Especially in a developing brain with little to no prior real-life experiences, porn can be very bad. What is the situation like when you watch porn? Well, you usually see how the girl you want badly right now gets fucked by another dude. And you enjoy that. Porn teaches your brain that watching sex equals sex. Because it is the first/only sexual experience your brain gets. Some men report they can't get hard with their girlfriend, but they have no problems when looking at pictures of women. You basically train yourself to be a cuck.

5) When you're sexually satisfied (with frequent porn-consumption you're even over-satisfied), there is little to no incentive for you to actually go out and talk to girls. If you do this from puberty onwards, it will get increasingly difficult to change everything around. It also lowers confidence, which seems to have already impacted F1l1pV - although not every case of low self-esteem can be explained by this. However, every case of low self-esteem will be reinforced by this.

etc., etc.
The more frequent and the more extreme the porn, the worse the effects. If you bang your girl every day but additionally watch porn once a week, then that probably won't be a problem.

If you want to learn more about it, you can start here:

http://yourbrainonporn.com/
https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/
/thread-12879.html

Good luck.

Post: #13

Fuck it im giving up on porn.

Post: #14

I think I can kinda understand how you're feeling. I'm a young guy too(21) and at the crossroads of turning 18, believe it or not, well..no fireworks appeared at midnight at 12am and nothing much changed in my life in the days that followed. It almost felt...just like any other birthday. Except that it is. 18 is an important age where you start to formulate your own views and opinions and as you grow older, you tend to either build on those views or discover new ones that you relate more to. I'm in no way qualified to tell you decades long personal success stories since I'm probably just a couple of years older. I think the fact you CARE about your future enough to research on it shows that you have what it takes to go far. Other 16 years old could barely give a shit. The only advice I can give you is that at your age, it is the absolute worst and detrimental to be a crowd follower or pleaser. High school may be pressurizing and by all means, make the connections you need but don't ever mentally compromise on your own well being. High school will come and go, have a blast and move on to the next phase of life. Don't follow the crowd blindly, find your own passion. Start looking at potential internships or colleges or even cities you want to move to next time. Everything that will shape the life you will have in future. It's never too early to be ready. If you need life advice, I'm probably not the most cut out to be giving that but if you need to talk about your troubles going through this phase of life that a fellow millennial went through not too long ago, feel free to send me a PM. Good luck buddy.