Post: #1

I was thinking about this subject the other day. It hit me when a girl I hooked up with in Colombia told me among the things she liked about me was that I was a 'gentleman.' It surprised me.

Now girls call me a lot of things, but rarely a gentleman! Usually the last thing I want to do is be called is a 'gentleman' to me it signifies that I've been to 'beta' or gamed it completely wrong. I certainly didn't hold back kissing her, touching, rarely complemented her. In this case I didn't fuck her, as I only had a couple of days, unfortunately certain Colombian girls are like this.

I slept with a few cute girls on my trip so I know my game was good. I know lots of women talk about wanting to be a man who is a gentleman, but I usually put that along with their other laundry list of qualities they look for in a guy which actually don't represent what they are attracted to.

Not really looking for advise on myself my question is do you guys have experience where behaving like the archetypal gentleman has worked wonders and has actually been rewarded?

Post: #2

I have never had an experience where being a traditional gentleman got me laid.

I have had girls rationalize their tingle by saying I was a gentleman, or well-mannered or considerate or any number of things that girls are told they're supposed to like. This is probably what happened with your girl. She probably grabbed on to the nice things you did do for her, and used it to rationalize why she decided to fuck you. In reality, she fucked you because you had good game.

Being a traditional gentleman doesn't work unless you have something else going for you like status/money, or if the girl is way below your league and being nice convinces her that you really like her, or she's a washed up cougar who is looking to settle down with a nice beta.

Post: #3

First thing I thought of was this:

ElBorrachoInfamoso Wrote:if the girl is way below your league and being nice convinces her that you really like her

I think this is the only time it legitimately works. So unless the girl is much lower status than you, it's probably going to backfire. Being too nice and deferential within the context of relationship or marriage will also make them eventually lose their attraction to you.

One of the central tenets of game is displaying higher value. If you're acting chivalrous like if it is a privilege to be in her presence, she will think you're weak or starved for female attention. They don't necessarily do this consciously, but it is obviously one reason why women aren't attracted to nice guys who run C&C game.

Post: #4

How are we defining 'gentleman.'?

"if the girl is way below your league and being nice convinces her that you really like her"

I have actually noticed it works on high quality girls (ie rich, from good families, smart and fly).

But then again, my "Gentleman Game" always has that International Playboy/money from mysterious means type vibe.

I have found that coupled together they work well.

Post: #5

(07-05-2011 05:38 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  But then again, my "Gentleman Game" always has that International Playboy/money from mysterious means type vibe.

I have found that coupled together they work well.

Agreed. When I roll up in a sleek blue-gray suit, with tan shoes and tan belt, I tune down the asshole and turn up the gentleman. Funny thing is, it's easier to get away with bad behavior in a suit.

Post: #6

Quote:Usually the last thing I want to do is be called is a 'gentleman' to me it signifies that I've been to 'beta' or gamed it completely wrong.

I immediately thought of G when I read this. He already beat me to the punch though.

Post: #7

(07-05-2011 06:34 PM)ElBorrachoInfamoso Wrote:  Agreed. When I roll up in a sleek blue-gray suit, with tan shoes and tan belt, I tune down the asshole and turn up the gentleman. Funny thing is, it's easier to get away with bad behavior in a suit.

Not me, I'm more polite and gentleman like in a trashy Tuesday outfit than I ever am in dressed in an English fitted suit. In fact I become an even huger asshole than I am usually in one of my English fitted suit, I blame Guy Ritchie.

Post: #8

Remember Oscar Wilde's definition, though: "A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally." That doesn't mean you can't be a vicious bastard if you mean it and have need.

But politeness and elegance can certainly be combined with light menace or danger. I'd classify Bond as a gentleman, for example.

Post: #9

Works with women 25 and up that are career/family/social status oriented. From experience its more of a social status thing, when out and about at say fashion shows and galas. All others, they dont even notice your gentleman-isms. I could be wrong but from experience if your looking to rap the to Ivanka Trumps and Pippa Middleton's of the world, your gentlemanliness and manners better be impeccable.

Post: #10

Gentleman? As in holding doors, footing checks and laying my jacket in puddles? Not even; I'm a serious threat to fuck you, not a walking wallet or a guy that you call when you need someone to pick you up from the airport. I won't 'do the right thing because it's the right thing to do', more like 'I'll do the right thing if it's the best way to get what I want.'

Gentleman? In the dashing, mysterious, suit-wearing and unquestionably bold sense? That's the sweet spot; class and refinement but with a distinct edge.

Post: #11

(07-05-2011 08:38 PM)Stitch Wrote:  But politeness and elegance can certainly be combined with light menace or danger. I'd classify Bond as a gentleman, for example.

Exactly. Being a gentleman does not mean being a pussy. I'd never want to be anything BUT a gentleman. What's the alternative? A frat boy?

Post: #12

(07-05-2011 04:51 PM)dk902 Wrote:  I slept with a few cute girls on my trip so I know my game was good. I know lots of women talk about wanting to be a man who is a gentleman, but I usually put that along with their other laundry list of qualities they look for in a guy which actually don't represent what they are attracted to.

Not really looking for advise on myself my question is do you guys have experience where behaving like the archetypal gentleman has worked wonders and has actually been rewarded?

You've missed the cultural context.

Being a "gentleman" or "nice guy" is only really a kiss of death in the USA and (to a lesser extent) the rest of the anglosphere, with the UK coming closest to the American attitude. In the US especially, you must go out of your way to avoid either of those labels. Women here simply do not respect it, and should not be taken seriously when they say they do.

In many other parts of the world, however, you can get away with being a "nice guy"-women may, in fact, prefer it.

Oldnemesis will often tell you about how Eastern European women do not respond well to typical American cocky-funny, negging/teasing game.
That works perfectly on most American women because they generally don't respond well to "gentlemanly" behavior-here, the men who care the least tend to get rewarded the most.

Many Eastern European women (it varies slightly by nationality/ethnicity, of course) may respect a "nicer" guy, and respond more favorably to less superficial styles of game (they also generally take longer to bed than American women). Things that don't help a guy much in America, like education level, are also a bit more valuable to them, just as they are in many parts of East Asia and Latin America.

This doesn't mean that you can be a complete, cringe-inducing, wet leaf beta nerd/chump and get the girl, but it does mean that you can be a bit more of a "gentleman" and have it work for you.

You'll see this sentiment on the forum all the time. If you followed Roosh's Denmark thread, you'll notice how he and several other guys mentioned the fact that Danish girls(and quite a few other Western European nationalities) seemed to genuinely prefer "nice guys", to the point at which it seemed there were an unusually large number of such "nice guys" within those male populations.

If you follow Roosh's twitter, you'll also see occasional mention of the ability Polish girls have to "soften" a guy, simply because they're sweet. I believe he even joked once about actually running "Compliment and Cuddle" in Poland, stating that if he spent more time there he might not need the same amount of game (or, at least, could use less aggressive/superficial styles and still succeed).

I see the same sentiment from guys traveling in Latin America and Asia.

You have to understand that America (I am going to assume you're an American) is a pretty tough place to date and find a good long term relationship of quality. You can't just be a "gentleman" here and expect to do well, as American women simply don't respond to or appreciate that, and are in fact entirely repulsed by it (until age hits). This is what many guys contend may have seriously benefited American gamers-guys here have to work a lot harder and more aggressively to avoid being labelled "nice guys",so they end up with some of the best game in the world.

In other cultures, you can still be a relatively "nice guy" and do just fine. You will still need game (women are wired similarly everywhere), but you won't have to work as hard to avoid looking "nice" as you do in the US.

Post: #13

A girl can call me whatever she wants as long as I'm beating it up.

Post: #14

if she says you are gentleman but without this phrase ''but we are good friends'' ...then there is no any problem.

Post: #15

I think one thing that is not discussed is HOW one is being a gentlemen. Personally, I feel that the "gentlemen actions" must flow naturally and effortlessly for USA (and probably UK) women to accept it.

For instance, you cannot do things like hold the door in such a way that IT SEEMS that you are trying too hard and expecting "points". The action has to be like second-nature. This kind of relates to buying a chick a drink. You are doing it and thinking NOTHING of it. Of course, you should have already evaluated if this chick is worth all of this.