Post: #76

(06-20-2018 12:15 AM)EndsExpect Wrote:  

(06-20-2018 12:00 AM)jordypip23 Wrote:  I was once married so I can speak to this. Unfortunately I'd say more than half of marriages in the USA result in a woman exploiting a man's Beta tendencies. It even turns former Alphas into Betas lol. It's a sorry situation. If you happen to be an exception to this new reality, you are lucky.

Even a Beta can only take so much. The more horrific the woman... the greater the impetus for transformation, because you have nothing to lose.

A man who is a true Alpha never struggles to maintain frame because that frame is his reality... it's part of him. If a woman can come in and wreck that... what can we say about this man? Was he truly Alpha?

I now live in my frame. It's not 100% Alpha, but it's natural to who I am. No woman can change that... so they always wind up living in my frame not theirs... because mine is more dominant and more authentic.

I don't think "alpha" and "beta" are as fixed as you believe. A person who seems alpha in most situations is going to be a beta in certain other situations/crowds. There's always a bigger alpha out there than you. And when you come in contact with that person, you are no longer the "alpha". Beta/alpha is a constantly changing dynamic.

Post: #77

(06-23-2018 01:12 PM)FullThrottleTX Wrote:  I hear you. But I'd still delay. Most men aren't of the right mindset/maturity/resources to be fathers until their 40s anyway. It's not just about personal fulfilment. The kind of women you're meeting and can meet to as a late 20s guy are not going to be the same as when you're older, that's something to note.

Sex with random people isn't fulfilling to me either, I prefer having longer term girlfriends to one night stands. But that doesn't mean I want to be married and pop out babies. I've rarely seen a guy in his 20s married and with kids who isn't miserable.

Yeah I think it'd be pretty hard to find a good "wifey material" young girl when you are in your 40s. Seems way easier to do in your 20s to be honest.

Why not get married and have kids when you feel like it? There's always divorce. If you get married and have children in your 20s, by the time your kids are grown up and out of the household, you can safely divorce your wife without fucking up your kids, and you'd still be young enough to go back to the player lifestyle (or getting yourself a new, younger wife...if that's what you'd prefer).

Marriage does not have to be a life sentence I think. I rather think of it as something to commit 20 years of your life to. Do it at 30 and you're free again at 50.

Post: #78

(06-24-2018 09:30 AM)JayGould Wrote:  

(06-20-2018 12:15 AM)EndsExpect Wrote:  

(06-20-2018 12:00 AM)jordypip23 Wrote:  I was once married so I can speak to this. Unfortunately I'd say more than half of marriages in the USA result in a woman exploiting a man's Beta tendencies. It even turns former Alphas into Betas lol. It's a sorry situation. If you happen to be an exception to this new reality, you are lucky.

Even a Beta can only take so much. The more horrific the woman... the greater the impetus for transformation, because you have nothing to lose.

A man who is a true Alpha never struggles to maintain frame because that frame is his reality... it's part of him. If a woman can come in and wreck that... what can we say about this man? Was he truly Alpha?

I now live in my frame. It's not 100% Alpha, but it's natural to who I am. No woman can change that... so they always wind up living in my frame not theirs... because mine is more dominant and more authentic.

I don't think "alpha" and "beta" are as fixed as you believe. A person who seems alpha in most situations is going to be a beta in certain other situations/crowds. There's always a bigger alpha out there than you. And when you come in contact with that person, you are no longer the "alpha". Beta/alpha is a constantly changing dynamic.

I like the analogy. What's considered hot or alpha in one circle may not be in the next.

Maybe a more clear example. Maybe you got a kid that was the star player on a college basketball team. He just got drafted to the pro's (NBA). Now all of a sudden he's no longer the alpha go-to guy. At least not yet, unless he puts in a massive amount of work over the next few years & has some luck on his side too.

Post: #79

(06-24-2018 09:35 AM)JayGould Wrote:  Yeah I think it'd be pretty hard to find a good "wifey material" young girl when you are in your 40s. Seems way easier to do in your 20s to be honest.

Why not get married and have kids when you feel like it? There's always divorce. If you get married and have children in your 20s, by the time your kids are grown up and out of the household, you can safely divorce your wife without fucking up your kids, and you'd still be young enough to go back to the player lifestyle (or getting yourself a new, younger wife...if that's what you'd prefer).

Marriage does not have to be a life sentence I think. I rather think of it as something to commit 20 years of your life to. Do it at 30 and you're free again at 50.

You're basically ignoring all the accumulated wisdom of the married/divorced people on this forum.

You're setting yourself up for a heist on your earnings.

Post: #80

(06-24-2018 12:45 PM)FullThrottleTX Wrote:  You're basically ignoring all the accumulated wisdom of the married/divorced people on this forum.

You're setting yourself up for a heist on your earnings.

Depends on the country you get married in though. But yeah if you're in the States, make sure you have a good lawyer who takes care of the paperwork beforehand.

Post: #81

People who claim that it is hard to find a good wifey in their 40s the definitely needs to read more self help books.It amazes me how pathetic some guys are at guys trying to trap women for marriage, next some guys will be designing what colors will be worn. The older you get the wiser you should be to game hotter women. I guess I am in the minority of truly Alpha guys. Me and a few buddies thought women were lying when they mentioned how guys would be weak and cater to them. I will get married at 45 with a 26 to 28 year old to have my first child. Until then it's just rinse and repeat.

Post: #82

I imagine most guys who end up as pussies in their relationships started going downhill by letting themselves go physically. Once they stop taking care of their own bodies, their girlfriends/wives know on some level they will not be found as attractive by other women. This, in turn, reinforces the belief that they can get away with increasingly bad behavior because the man is unable/unwilling to go search for a piece of ass anywhere else. Women will run down a man’s ego to try and make him believe she’s his best option and he’ll find only rejection elsewhere.

Post: #83

Another useless thread started by useless forum member EDantes.

EDantes you are the lucky recipient of my first neutral rep point.

In my world marriage doesn't correlate with pussification. In order to run a household especially with children, you need to absolutely be a man.

Then come the beta and alpha trolling. Guys, if you need to use both beta and alpha as context spaces to understand reality, you need to get out more often and be more social.

Post: #84

(06-24-2018 06:38 PM)Cobra Wrote:  Another useless thread started by useless forum member EDantes.

EDantes you are the lucky recipient of my first neutral rep point.

In my world marriage doesn't correlate with pussification. In order to run a household especially with children, you need to absolutely be a man.

Then come the beta and alpha trolling. Guys, if you need to use both beta and alpha as context spaces to understand reality, you need to get out more often and be more social.

I get this perspective too. The successful guys in a married situation with kids are more effective when they are as sharp as a CEO. Lotta deadlines, finances & intertwined relationships to manage in addition to the wife (and kids' schooling, soccer practices, etc.)....

Post: #85

^Exactly.

It's not easy to pack up 3 young children and get them to Gymnastics, dance, Baseball practice and figure out some time for leisure. This is on top of the extra tuition homework they need to do. On top of this, they also need to have some discipline and understand how to behave socially. I also like to squeeze in a nap because I've been working 65+ hours during the week. Not easy.

Example: My 2 younger kids were recently asked to be in a picture and smile. They are 6 and 4 respectively. Old enough to understand what's good behavior and bad, believe it or not. If you aren't a parent, you wouldn't know this and I wouldn't expect you to. The family tried their best to get them to stop crying and/or whining. It didn't work. I said, give daddy Cobra 5 minutes. I took each of them outside. In under those 5 minutes, I brought back cheerful kids. Total time spent was less than 8 minutes because I leveraged the fear from my oldest to the youngest, who didn't want to go outside with daddy. It sounds simple, but it took years of building appreciation and respect to get here. There are more mechanics involved in this that I will not get into.

A lot of this is a "good cop, bad cop" scenario playing out between me and my wife. It's game, pure and simple. If it works on random women and your wife, it also will work on the kids. Also, understand, however that kids also have game.

Edit: There are a lot of theories here on why marriage doesn't work. I don't disagree with a lot of them. However, these conveniently leave out the raising of children in a healthy household as being a major benefit, which just makes those theories less credible. I personally am here to leave a positive legacy behind with my children and I don't think raising them in separate households will be healthy. It's less about the marriage. I hope this makes sense.

I guess in this situation, I'll leave it up to forum members to decide if I'm beta or not.

Post: #86

(01-25-2016 10:06 AM)thoughtgypsy Wrote:  A woman has all the leverage in this situation, and is rewarded for blowing up her marriage. A man is playing russian roulette every day he's married. She's got all the power in the arrangement, so she can treat the husband however she wants and get away with it.

Especially when women have have the legal system on the side. When couples who get divorced, the woman gets all the benefits while the man is hung out to dry and left in financial and/or emotional devastation.

Post: #87

(06-24-2018 09:35 AM)JayGould Wrote:  Why not get married and have kids when you feel like it? There's always divorce. If you get married and have children in your 20s, by the time your kids are grown up and out of the household, you can safely divorce your wife without fucking up your kids, and you'd still be young enough to go back to the player lifestyle (or getting yourself a new, younger wife...if that's what you'd prefer).

If a man gets divorced, there is a high chance that he'll be stuck paying alimony and/or child support.

Post: #88

I think either way guys have to rationalize what they're doing in order to be able to do it with conviction. A married man has to consider what he's doing right, otherwise he'd be betraying himself, if he truly believed he was being a "cuck" or a "beta".

A single man is convinced that banging chicks and nor marrying is the way to go. He values his freedom etc.

There is "alphaness" in both behaviors. Hell, there's even alphaness in just reading a book. Both are presumably living or chasing their definition of a somewhat ideal life. And there's beauty in both

Post: #89

I don't really understand the false perceptions of wedding on this forum. Not every married forum member has done it because of fear to be alone or because he is a beta. In most of the cases , it's because the woman understood that she has to "lock" the talented man she has found......
In addition I am not sure that married guys have been cheated by their wives here...i think more the opposite !

Post: #90

I think the real question to this, one I've been thinking about, has more to do with alphas who get married and transform into betas. If a guy is a pussy he's a pussy whether he's married or not, and vice versa.

For the record I'm not married and never have been. But I study organizational psych and am fascinated by interpersonal communication and power.

Posters noted that the "system" changes with marriage and children - more tools are available for women, like alimony and child support. So naturally, the most Alpha or Alphas is destined to be broken down into a beta, right? Wrong.

This is where I think the PUA shit loses it's value. Its nothing but gimmicks and games that work in certain situations but not others. Being single and "free" means as soon as a few tried and true strategies wear off, on to the next plate. Which is fine, takes little effort, etc.

That's not being truly Alpha. Being Alpha means being able to read the shifts and changes in interpersonal power and deploying tools effectively to develop yourself. An Alpha that goes and gets married likely has used the same leverage points, game and strategy to land this woman worth marrying or whatever in the first place. But he's unable to cope with the shift in power and update his strategy, which leads to the woman running amok.

Offense is always the best strategy, because by the time you are on the defensive protecting your meager assets its already too late. If someone, anyone, actually wants to get married, they must be willing to maintain frame for as long as the relationship lasts.

Post: #91

(08-16-2018 04:22 PM)OptimisticTRP Wrote:  Offense is always the best strategy, because by the time you are on the defensive protecting your meager assets its already too late. If someone, anyone, actually wants to get married, they must be willing to maintain frame for as long as the relationship lasts.

100% Spot on.