Post: #26

Quote:I'm likely trolling, but, here goes.

That's what you meant to say.


You're clearly a female. No man talks like this. And what's with the physical description of yourself? We don't care any neither should you. Your entire posts reeks of bragplaining which is a uniquely female position.

Post: #27

(01-24-2016 06:57 PM)nickoz22 Wrote:  Hey gents,

I'm likely going to be trolled, but, here goes.

I just signed up. Gold member as I'm a long-term lurker and I think this is a very good community that I'm happy to support.

A bit about me: 28, 6"1, athletic build, blue eyes, dark blonde hair, educated, Australian. English teacher (I've taught in Korea, Japan, Cambodia, Australia - but I prefer working in China).

I have a pretty solid game where I use cocky confidence, humor and empathy . I have never had any problems getting laid to be honest (it's not hard when you're young and traveling Asia).

But, I do have one problem I need help with:

--- Every girl I get involved with, whether it be a few ONS or FWB the outcome is always the same.

After a few nights, weeks- I decide it's time to cut them loose... but they ALWAYS are deeply hurt.

I'm not a complete asshole. I do tell them early on that I'm only interested in a short-term casual relationship...

I tend to go for 18-21s who are sweet, kind, not too experienced - but I'm not a virgin-hunter at all. Sadly, they equate sex with love... and they think they can change me "He said short-term, but, I think I can convince him otherwise".

Plus, sex on it's own isn't enough for me. I always pick girls I can have a real conversation with. so, we become intimate, we cuddle, we hang out socially - we connect socially/emotionally as well as sexually.

And, I'm a very affectionate person. So, I'm at fault for sending them mixed signals.

Let me cut to the chase:

I feel like a lowlife when I end things and I can see the pain their eyes, or they leave a voicemail where they're sobbing...Sure, some are just wanting money/visa/status - but MOST are just very sweet girls who want a relationship, love and all the rest.

I've tried the following:
1. Telling them I have to go home for a family emergency and I won't be able to return.
2. Being a bit of a jerk (arrogant, not returning phone calls etc in hope they'll lose interest in me - this never works.
3. Telling them my family will not accept me if I marry a foreign girl.

Yeh, pretty lame excuses... I haven't played the "I'm gay" card yet.

Guys, I don't know what to do.

Please no comments or misogynistic attitudes like "Dude, man up - who cares about their feelings?" - No offence, but I've seen some of these comments elsewhere on these forums
.
Well, Thanks in advance for any suggestions helpful advice !

As long as you're being straight up and not lying or misrepresenting yourself just to get laid then you have nothing to feel guilty about in that area.

If you're being up front with a girl that you want no strings attached sex, you're not manipulating her. If you're intentionally giving mixed signals, or trying to make her think you want a relationship when you don't then that's wrong.

But try to imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and see how ludicrous it would be:

---

*Woman dates a guy and has casual sex but isn't interested in a relationship. Guy gets angry or hurt because she 'won't commit' and accuses her of using him.

If a guy was doing that people would say he's "desperate, creepy, psycho, stalker", etc - yet if the shoe is on the other foot people will immediately claim that the guy is a "player, used her for sex, etc" even if he made it clear it wasn't a commitment.

When you think about the double standard then hopefully it'll cure the irrational guilt. Just be honest and don't lie or deceive to get laid.

Post: #28

Try getting burned real bad a couple of times, it will make you friggin ruthless.

Post: #29

hey nickoz22, are you still here? You remind me of someone I know so I have some feedback but I would like to ask some questions first.

Why did you prefer teaching in China the most? Phoenix asked this before but you didn't answer it.

Some guys have called out your writing style. They think you might be a women. What is your response?