h5757
Game Denialist
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Being quirky
I can be a quirky guy when I get comfortable with people after knowing them for a while. I can be verbally impulsive and it makes me say random things when I start a conversation or during a conversation. I can also be unintentionally socially awkward at times. When people get to know me and like me, they laugh at my quirkiness and find it amusing. Some people lightheartedly tell me that I’m weird. Even though I say unintentionally funny things, I’m also a very witty person and people think I’m intelligent. People know that they can also take me seriously because I am able to communicate in a mature and professional manner. It’s almost like an on-off switch, except I’m sometimes unintentionally verbally impulsive or socially awkward. In a way, I sometimes come off as a clown. No one looks down on me though, and no one is abusive towards me. People still show me respect. Aside from my quirky behavior, I’m never rude and I never get aggressive. I come off as laid-back, talkative and happy.
At work and elsewhere, before I bring out my quirkiness, people think I’m quiet and shy and don’t have much to say. I can make small talk perfectly fine, but people tend not to be too interested in talking to me and they don’t show much enthusiasm towards me unless I bring my quirky personality out. I basically act like a “normal” person. I’ve found that after I reveal my quirkiness, people tend to like me a lot and want to be friends. It’s worked well for me in the workplace. However, I don’t know how it’ll work in the dating world. I’ve suppressed my quirky behavior in the dating world because I don’t know how it will affect me. I’m also out of college, so I don’t know how older women (who are in their mid 20s and older) will respond to my behavior. I don’t want to come off as immature or childish.
How do women who are in their mid 20s and older usually feel about quirky guys? How do they feel about unintentionally funny social awkwardness and randomness? If a woman’s first impression of me was seeing my quirky personality, would she immediately friendzone me? Would she see me as just a clown or a source of entertainment? Or could she see me as a guy who she could potentially date or be attracted to? Can quirkiness ever be an attractive trait?
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| 12-06-2015 01:36 PM |
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The following 2 users Like h5757's post:2 users Like h5757's post
Off The Reservation, Built to Fade
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Anabasis to Desta
Banned
Posts: 1,118
Joined: Oct 2015
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RE: Being quirky
Is this quirkiness of yours a fake & sneaky way for you to attract attention toward your otherwise bland and uninteresting self or are you quirky because you actually are eccentric? I'm not mocking you man, it's just that I've noticed a lot of socially awkward guys who don't have a lot going for them latch on to personas such as "Nerd", "I fucking love Science", "Hipster" or "Quirky".
Instead of working on improving themselves, they dial up whatever social malfunction they have and act like it was their choice.
Quote:I can be a quirky guy when I get comfortable with people after knowing them for a while. I can be verbally impulsive and it makes me say random things when I start a conversation or during a conversation. I can also be unintentionally socially awkward at times. When people get to know me and like me, they laugh at my quirkiness and find it amusing.
In college i noticed the newer shy guys who wanted to join our Fraternity would be quiet at first. But once we made them feel a little welcome and comfortable they'd start becoming verbally impulsive and start saying awkward shit. They were good guys but our attention & approval was so important to them that they were convinced the only way to keep it was by telling crazy stories and in the process came off as weirdos. Yes we enjoyed their company. They were cheap entertainment while we had nothing to do but crush our Heinekens. But they got little respect.
Do those people you who "laugh at my quirkiness and find it amusing" respect you? Can you command their attention without being quirky and by being just yourself?
If the answer is anything but a resounding Yes! then you must stop this low-value behavior immediately. Quirkiness is like getting drunk, you can use it as a social crutch but in the long run it will hurt you.
There is nothing wrong with being shy and quiet as long as you own it.
Now, if you are genuinely eccentric and comfortable with yourself ... girls won't care. They'll actually love it. Men will think you're weird but respect you for sticking to your guns.
But when that quirkiness comes from a position of neediness (like it does 9/10 times) then people will hate it. Men will tolerate you and put you near the bottom of the social hierarchy ... women will outright reject you.
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| 12-06-2015 03:59 PM |
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The following 5 users Like Anabasis to Desta's post:5 users Like Anabasis to Desta's post
Repo, amity, SupaDorkLooza, Rhyme or Reason, Built to Fade
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blacknwhitespade
Wingman
  
Posts: 652
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RE: Being quirky
(12-06-2015 01:41 PM)XPQ22 Wrote: If you're into careerist SWPL yoga pants suburban chicks, it'll probably go over like a lead balloon. Majorly different is death. You have to be just different enough to stand out from all the other lame dudes, but not so different that you make them feel uncomfortable or weird. So wear a shirt with stripes that go the opposite direction or something.
If you're into urban tattooed artsy hipster chicks - pussy paradise. Game on.
Your "quirky" they may consider "funny" or "clownish" which, as has been detailed here, most women in that age bracket want.
I've also found it is very off-putting to many women who are getting up into my age range (30s) and are looking for a provider to settle down with and raise a crop of youngins.
But who cares.
This more or less.
I'm a quirky introvert, with a somewhat creative/hipster vibe, I get positive vibes from artsy chicks, a fair amount of hipsters/vegans/leftists actually like me when I show them my creative wild cards. Career yuppie types, and more conservative types found in churches, or standard white redneck or hood rat minority chicks, not so much. They wont get your substance, they'll think you're weird and probably label you immature. My engineering job and close ties to family is what impresses them more.
Frankly, a lot of American girls are super programmed to like the standard archetype American dudes: yuppie, hipster, frat, etc. If you want urban yuppie chicks and you look like Chad from the LaCross team, you're in. If you want hipsters and you have some tats, scruffy clothes, are into some sub-cultural music scene, you're in. If you live out in the sticks, wear a camouflage coat, own some guns, like to hunt, fish, snowmobile, etc., you're in! If you're a quirky gamma male character who doesn't quite fit neatly into any of these archetypes, you'll struggle.
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| 12-09-2015 10:35 AM |
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The following 1 user Likes blacknwhitespade's post:1 user Likes blacknwhitespade's post
Built to Fade
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