Post: #1

So, the last two dates I've been on I've gotten blown out for a second for pretty much exactly the same reason. The second to last the girl was all over me, probably a bit too much. I never hear anything back from her so I figure I'm dead, but after a few days I send her a "what's up?" text anyway because whatever. She replies that she felt I got too physical with her and that she wanted me to have waited to "know her better".

The second woman I went on a date with was pretty much a serial dater and basically told me as much immediately after I met her, so my heart sank fairly quickly regarding any second date. Regardless, I went for some light physical/touching stuff but she wasn't having any of it - even though she was talking about sex with other people pretty much all through the date. She hit me with a text afterwards something like "thanks but I'm not sure we're compatible as you got physical too quickly."

Makes one pissed off as hell as she's telling you about threesomes she's had and shit and then hits you with that..but breathe...maintain frame...

Either something is going badly wrong with my newbie game, or they never had any intention of seeing me again from the start and it's just a pretext. Any suggestions?

Edit: These women are in their early 30s. It seems this demographic is a lot of trouble

Post: #2

Girl 1 - She put up her ASD real fast.

Sounds like too much Kino without making her comfortable.

Just because a girl shows signs and is all over you, doesn't mean you're getting the bang. Touching, kissing, PDA, none of that shit means a second date or bang man.

If she's all over you, let her, let her drape on you. Play it cool and calm like you do this a million times, don't give in to her attention whoring.

I NEVER make out with girls on dates, only if I know I can't pull her home and the dates over or in the bedroom.

To be honest I don't kino at all, rarely I'll grab a girls hand to check out her tattoos or rings. I let my conversation and body language do the talking, I connect with them on an emotional level first.

I keep a girl guessing if I'm going to kiss her or not until the end of the date if I'm not banging her.

You even knew in your gut you shouldn't of done that much - listen to it next time.


Girl 2 - Her telling you she's a serial dater is a one red flag (read: slut)

You had 2 options - eject from the date asap or put her into the slut category.

Why was she talking about sex to other people ? Why wasn't she talking to you about ? How come her focus wasn't on you and she was distracted ?

She's talking about fucking threesomes dude, hands down a slut and an attention whore.

Girls LOVE to hear themselves talk and brag about sexual exploits or things they like.

Sounds like weak frame and her mind was distracted and elsewhere.

You attempted Kino and failed, I'm betting you tried it a few times also.

I'm sure when you heard the sex talk your game said "i'm in she's a slut" then went Kino on her - made you look thirsty.

Quote:Either something is going badly wrong with my newbie game, or they never had any intention of seeing me again from the start and it's just a pretext.

They met with you, so there was a possibility of a second date, but you crashed and burned on both.

Both girls are in their early 30's most girls want:
-The beta to take care of them.
-They're looking for an "emotional" connection less physical.
-Girl 2 admitted she's a serial dater aka looking to fuck and lock down some chump.
-They're more insecure.

You're in the wrong age range man, hell even late 20's girls are just like this.

Solutions:
-Less Kino
-More working on your frame, make it ironclad, work on shit tests.
-DON'T DATE IN THE 30's - If you're older it's still possible to date young.
-Screen girls better.
-Don't emotionally invest alot into these bitches.

This can all be worked on, you have RVF.

Post: #3

Thanks for the reply. Frankly, the second chick was just kind of weird. She had her phone out and was poking away at it within ten minutes of meeting me, and she got all pissed when I wouldn't pay for her food. Regardless of her slut talk, I sort of feel that at least for me it was kind of a lost cause. Again, she was just really strange for a lot of reasons.

I think you nailed it on the first one though. I kissed her too fucking much and it made me seem thirsty.

Well, I got another one on Sunday. I'll try to pull way back on the physical stuff as it clearly doesn't seem to be working for me, but I don't often have the logistics to pull same day stuff. How am I supposed to "escalate" then?

As someone said in another thread:

Quote:You hear stories from chicks of bad first dates where guys pushed really hard for sex and they got creeped. Well, if she thinks you're attractive and your game is reasonably tight (and you know when to quit), she's going to want to see you again, even if she doesn't feel comfortable enough to hit it yet. So when women complain about guys who push for sex, they're complaining about unattractive guys trying to have sex with them.

For me I think it's definitely false. I know for a fact that whatever 45 year old dude this chick was banging in a threesome however long ago doesn't really have anything on me in that regard - so it's frustrating that he's the one getting the action and I'm not.

Post: #4

(09-25-2015 04:10 PM)XPQ21 Wrote:  Thanks for the reply. Frankly, the second chick was just kind of weird. She had her phone out and was poking away at it within ten minutes of meeting me, and she got all pissed when I wouldn't pay for her food. Regardless of her slut talk, I sort of feel that at least for me it was kind of a lost cause. Again, she was just really strange for a lot of reasons.

You lost frame immediately after she went to her go to Boyfriend - her iPhone.

If you knew it was strange, immediately eject, don't wast anymore money or minutes of your life on her.

If a bitch is ever on her phone when we're on a date, i'll do one of the following:
-"Good idea I need to let X know that I don't need an escape text" -grin-
-"Don't tell me you're one of those girls whose ALWAYS on their phone" -grin-
-Touch her screen playfully as she's texting
-Grab her phone and put it in her purse
-Grab her phone and put it on your farthest side
-JOKINGLY let her know that's one of your pet peeves.
-If she's still being a bitch about it, close YOUR tab out, and leave her with hers when she goes to the bathroom

You actually just reminded me to put my LTR's phone usage in check around me (see even I need reminding !)

I would've laughed at her face if she got mad I didn't pay for her and would've straight bounced without a word.

Another problem, you guys got food, without her investing anything.

Always keeps dates at a bar or drinking venue, keep it to a drink or 2 and maybe an app. THEN venue change if she's cool in your book, or cut your losses and bounce.

Quote:I think you nailed it on the first one though. I kissed her too fucking much and it made me seem thirsty.

Yeah man, I never kiss a chick until the end of the date, especially if I know she isn't coming home with me, keep her guessing, be mysterious.

Quote:Well, I got another one on Sunday. I'll try to pull way back on the physical stuff as it clearly doesn't seem to be working for me, but I don't often have the logistics to pull same day stuff. How am I supposed to "escalate" then?

DON'T escalate with a shit ton of Kino, you don't want to "scare the cat", play "don't fuck up game".

You aren't going to bang EVERY girl you have sex with on the first date. It happens.

Maybe you should only go on dates when you have solid logistics to back home to, that way you aren't worried about it in the back of your head. OR car bang, park bang, whatever, bitches love adventure.

Logistics are important as fuck, and always have a Plan B. I've lost some great notches because of this.

Focus more on connecting with her emotionally, that's the bridge to a sexual connection, especially in the dating arena.

You can make a bitches gina tingle without even touching her man. I had a bitch yesterday say she was so turned on by me - I haven't even met this bitch, and I got her number an hour before she said that !

Quote:As someone said in another thread:
You hear stories from chicks of bad first dates where guys pushed really hard for sex and they got creeped. Well, if she thinks you're attractive and your game is reasonably tight (and you know when to quit), she's going to want to see you again, even if she doesn't feel comfortable enough to hit it yet. So when women complain about guys who push for sex, they're complaining about unattractive guys trying to have sex with them.

This is correct.

Yeah it's true girls can get creeped out fast with too much Kino. I've had a bitch walk out on me - we got tea, she came over, had her topless, then she had the "wait I'm not a slut anymore" epiphany and walked out on me.

Remember, it's only creepy if you're unattractive to them.

Quote:For me I think it's definitely false. I know for a fact that whatever 45 year old dude this chick was banging in a threesome however long ago doesn't really have anything on me in that regard - so it's frustrating that he's the one getting the action and I'm not.

It's not false man, stop with the self defeating attitude.

He OBVIOUSLY has something on you if he banged the girl you're on a date with AND another girl.

An old man CAN be attractive to a young woman, that man needs to dress well, be successful, and take care of himself first.

You can't hate on a dude who had a threesome, I'd high five every mother fucker who had one on the threesome thread in person if I could.

That threesome is a non issue, the issue is you working on your game/frame/health/style/looks etc.

Post: #5

Chick 1- Normal chick, apply game.

Chick 2- High T attention whore. Possibly Amazonian Alpha. Apply extreme game measures or run away. Ignore her shit tests and proceed to endlessly qualify her. If you achieve the bang, Next her immediately thereafter.

P.S. Us older dudes bang younger women all the time. Something for you to look forward to if you keep yourself in shape. We have something called experience that adds SMV from time to time. Lzozlzozl

Post: #6

(09-25-2015 04:10 PM)XPQ21 Wrote:  she got all pissed when I wouldn't pay for her food

Golddigger, confirming the vibe I was getting from your OP. First date should be coffee or something free to disqualify that type of whore. Text her with "how's the golddigging working out for you these days"

Post: #7

(09-25-2015 06:35 PM)Engineer Wrote:  

(09-25-2015 04:10 PM)XPQ21 Wrote:  she got all pissed when I wouldn't pay for her food

Golddigger, confirming the vibe I was getting from your OP. First date should be coffee or something free to disqualify that type of whore. Text her with "how's the golddigging working out for you these days"

Why ?

Why bother using any energy at all into something that isn't worth it ?

Why bring more hate, spite, and frustration into your life ?

It's NOT worth it man.

It just shows immaturity in your game. She'll get a laugh and show it to her girlfriends. You aren't making her hamster spin, she knows exactly what she is.

The only thing you should be doing is deleting her number, and getting new ones.

Post: #8

(09-25-2015 07:04 PM)kaotic Wrote:  The only thing you should be doing is deleting her number, and getting new ones.

Precisely what I'm doing.

Also, I talk too much on dates.

Post: #9

(09-25-2015 07:15 PM)XPQ21 Wrote:  Also, I talk too much on dates.

Very astute observation. It seems counterintuitive to a lot of game newbies but women connect with men and become more comfortable by doing the majority of the talking. She should be talking 70-80% of the time and your only job is to lead the conversation by asking the occasional question and then deep diving into related conversation threads from there. Really get her talking about her hopes, dreams, goals, passions...anything really that gets her (positive) emotions engaged. I know we as men have the instinctual urge to want to sell ourselves and give a virtual resume of why we're better than the competition but you need to resist that urge with every fiber of your being.

As far as touching a woman too much, I had the exact same issues as you, almost verbatim, a couple of years ago when I first started my game journey. Now my only touching are light taps on forearm, shoulder, a quick hand in the small of the back when we're walking somewhere and that's it. Even if she's really digging all of the hands on attention in the moment, her ASD will come roaring to life once she's alone and reflecting on the date and you're as good as dead then.

One other thing to think about and be aware of: Pay attention to your overall body language and posture when you're on dates. Make sure you're not leaning in--and if you're touching her that much, you probably are! Instead, sit back in your chair and relax your posture almost as if you're the slacker kid who got called to the principal's office. I remember the first time I did this (unintentionally) on a date, the girl literally moved across the high top table in the bar and began making out with me!

@Kaotic knocked it out of the park as usual with his extensive replies to your situation and there's nothing more I can add to that.

Post: #10

Sit like this, and don't be a fucking Nancy running your mouth. Then you'll be good.



If you decided to go into for a strong make out in public which I do recommend if are feeling it in the moment is you get one strong make out, you pull out of the makeout first. It doesn't last more than 10 seconds. That's it. Back off like nothing happened no silly grin. No reaction. Go back to talking. Nothing else as far as kissing until she is back at your place. Like you see in the middle of an action movie when Bond or whoever grabs the girl and does the lustful make out (which is their first kiss), then back to the action.

It's a sneak preview of your physicality while also letting her know you aren't thirsty. You just dabbed her.

Post: #11

(09-25-2015 07:04 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(09-25-2015 06:35 PM)Engineer Wrote:  

(09-25-2015 04:10 PM)XPQ21 Wrote:  she got all pissed when I wouldn't pay for her food

Golddigger, confirming the vibe I was getting from your OP. First date should be coffee or something free to disqualify that type of whore. Text her with "how's the golddigging working out for you these days"

Why ?

Why bother using any energy at all into something that isn't worth it ?

Why bring more hate, spite, and frustration into your life ?

It's NOT worth it man.

It just shows immaturity in your game. She'll get a laugh and show it to her girlfriends. You aren't making her hamster spin, she knows exactly what she is.

The only thing you should be doing is deleting her number, and getting new ones.

Because it's funny and makes me laugh. Nothing is funnier to me than female hamsterization. Not meant to regame the golddigger.

Post: #12

Update: Followed the advice given in this thread on my past two dates. No leaning in, and I did my best to keep from running my mouth like a fool. I had to keep reminding myself to LEAN BACK and I may have slipped a few times, but I don't think they really noticed. It was hard to keep the conversation 70%-30%, it was probably more like 60%-40%, but I think I did OK.

One brief kiss during the middle of the date on both when the indicators were there and the timing seemed right, and it went fine. They definitely wanted to push for more at the end and I gave in a little bit, but I didn't have logistics in place, and I wanted to see if I'd get a second date so I played it cool and didn't give too much.

Result: Had sex with the first girl at her place the other day after the second date. Awesome. She even made me dinner.

Second girl hit me up yesterday and wants to see me tomorrow for the second date. I'm expecting the same result.

I think we're on to something.

Post: #13

See ?

It's all about adapting and changing your game. Congrats man good shit !

Post: #14

Excellent job correcting the situation

Post: #15

Nice job! Also kaotic gave some solid advice there.

Post: #16

(10-03-2015 04:15 PM)XPQ21 Wrote:  Update: Followed the advice given in this thread on my past two dates. No leaning in, and I did my best to keep from running my mouth like a fool. I had to keep reminding myself to LEAN BACK and I may have slipped a few times, but I don't think they really noticed. It was hard to keep the conversation 70%-30%, it was probably more like 60%-40%, but I think I did OK.

One brief kiss during the middle of the date on both when the indicators were there and the timing seemed right, and it went fine. They definitely wanted to push for more at the end and I gave in a little bit, but I didn't have logistics in place, and I wanted to see if I'd get a second date so I played it cool and didn't give too much.

Result: Had sex with the first girl at her place the other day after the second date. Awesome. She even made me dinner.

Second girl hit me up yesterday and wants to see me tomorrow for the second date. I'm expecting the same result.

I think we're on to something.

Nice job on applying the advice you were giving and making the adjustments. You wouldn't believe how many guys here ask ask ask yet continue to do the same things that don't work.

I'm curious how you went about getting the second dates. Did you end the first dates with make outs, a quick kiss, no kiss at all? Also, how much contact did you have with both girls post date? When did you ask for the second date? I'll admit I'm extremely weak in getting second dates so as much info as possible would be helpful.