Post: #1

I want to discuss the chivalrous act of giving up one's seat for a woman. Living in NYC and using the subway everyday, I see men give their seats up all the time. And I wonder about this gesture.

Today I was put in an awkward situation. Three women and two children got on the PATH train. They were a family: a young middle aged grandmother, her two daughters, and two school age children. I was sitting in the single corner seat, and somehow they all gravitated towards me and the pole that was near my seat. My space was a bit crowded but I didn't fret too much because the commute was only 20 mins.

Then the awkwardness came. One of the women started to make a joke about how the young boy, when he was even younger, would get on the train, complain about not having a seat, and eventually someone would give up their seat for him. They talked and reminisced and laughed about it as if it was the cutest thing ever. During this time I could feel their eyes on me, watching to see if I would crack under the pressure of the conversation and offer up my seat. I didn't. Then the grandmother started talking about how nice it is when people give up their seats for small children, and how her favorite seat, especially on a hot summer day like today, is the corner seat (where I was sitting). Again, a direct reference to me and my seat, I did nothing. I continued to stare at the wall and gather my thoughts.

The train was crowded, and I was not about to give up my seat so I could stand in discomfort for some strange woman/child whom I've never met, and who all appeared to be able-bodied enough to make it through the 20 min train ride.

I understand giving up one's seat to the obviously injured/disabled. I've done it before and I would do it again. But I don't believe in giving up my seat because an entitled woman feels entitled to it. In fact, this made me even more resolved in my effort to not give up my seat. I was not going to reinforce the already grand sense of entitlement that women walk around with each day.

I mean, it gets so pathetic sometimes, when I see grown men jumping, literally tripping over themselves, physically and verbally, to give up their seats to healthy young women. It actually makes me cringe. So I stayed on the train, and stayed in my seat until it was time to get off.

Now, we could argue the other side of the fence and say, well, what if it was my grandmother, mother, sister, etc? And to that I would say then she is no different in thinking she deserves someone's seat. Aside from suffering from some obvious injury, any female family member of mine who thinks they deserve a man's seat just because they are a woman is a part of that same female entitlement that does not deserve to be rewarded.

I don't give up my seat unless in my mind I assess the situation to be absolutely necessary. The very old and weak, or pregnant women about to pop soon, etc. I was curious as to what you other players think about the matter.

Would you give up your seat, and if so, under what circumstances?

Post: #2

Is she going to cook me dinner?

Post: #3

Or do my laundry?

Post: #4

Depends on the circumstances, but I see nothing wrong with giving up your seat for a woman. Society may be in crapper and a large percent of females may be undeserving of such gestures, but I think its possible to maintain your understanding of the true nature of women while at the same time performing some traditional "gentlemanly acts". It isn't "beta". I still want to live in a world where things like that go on, it won't last much longer.

Post: #5

I've stopped doing that. I've stopped opening doors. I've stopped saying excuse me.

They're just annoyances.

Post: #6

If she passes the boner test I would offer her a seat on my lap.

Otherwise only for someone who physically looks like they need it.

Post: #7

Quote:Depends on the circumstances, but I see nothing wrong with giving up your seat for a woman. Society may be in crapper and a large percent of females may be undeserving of such gestures, but I think its possible to maintain your understanding of the true nature of women while at the same time performing some traditional "gentlemanly acts". It isn't "beta". I still want to live in a world where things like that go on, it won't last much longer.

What are your circumstances? I've already stated mine in the op.

To me it's not about alpha/beta. Female entitlement is widespread and rampant, and as men who are aware, I see it as our duty to not feed the beast.

Post: #8

I have given up my seat for elderly women & men, the handicapped, obviously pregnant women & very young children. Would do so anytime because of my golden rule. I wouldn't do it for some woman healthy enough to be snarky, entitled & petty. How misogynistic of her to demand special rights (indirectly) when she's obviously equal & healthy enough to be indirect about her intent. She could have at least asked for the seat the way the average person might have.
You did the right thing. Your bag of fucks given about this specific incident should be empty.

Post: #9

If I'm on public transport and I manage to get a seat the only way I'm giving it up is if I'm about to get off. First come first serve.

Post: #10

(08-01-2015 02:42 AM)JonJon Wrote:  

Quote:Depends on the circumstances, but I see nothing wrong with giving up your seat for a woman. Society may be in crapper and a large percent of females may be undeserving of such gestures, but I think its possible to maintain your understanding of the true nature of women while at the same time performing some traditional "gentlemanly acts". It isn't "beta". I still want to live in a world where things like that go on, it won't last much longer.

What are your circumstances? I've already stated mine in the op.

To me it's not about alpha/beta. Female entitlement is widespread and rampant, and as men who are aware, I see it as our duty to not feed the beast.

I don't know if I know which specific circumstances. Some of it depends on my mood. If I don't want to, I don't, and I don't feel bad. We can't really know by just looking at a woman if she is one of the beasts that should not be fed. How can that be determined beforehand? Should it?

If we start looking at women on the train trying to figure out who might be unworthy then the whole exercise has become far too involved.

I sympathize with the story you told, I've experienced similar. Some of the things though like this, in my opinion, just need to be chocked up to a shitty individual or circumstance. Otherwise where does it leave us? Becoming bitter, scanning trains for things we cannot know, and refusing to do things we used to want to and that make society more livable.



In before "faggot!"

Post: #11

Neo is ok with it.

Post: #12

If she's pregnant or decrepit.

Post: #13

(08-01-2015 03:18 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  If she's pregnant or decrepit.

It's not that black and white. I'll give up my seat for anyone old, decrepit or not. However, if you're a baby boomer, no way. I won't be giving up my seat to baby boomers even when they are all 80 years old. Those lazy, entitled slackers can earn the seat if they want to sit in it.

As for pregnant women, it's not so cut and dry. If she's pregnant, thin and is wearing a wedding ring, she gets my seat.

However, if she's not staying thin for her husband, I'll keep my seat and provide her with every opportunity to burn some calories standing. It's the least I can do.

If she doesn't appear to be married, she doesn't deserve my seat. She's a blight on society and I'm don't even want to look at scum like that.

Post: #14

Quote: I don't know if I know which specific circumstances. Some of it depends on my mood. If I don't want to, I don't, and I don't feel bad. We can't really know by just looking at a woman if she is one of the beasts that should not be fed. How can that be determined beforehand? Should it?

If we start looking at women on the train trying to figure out who might be unworthy then the whole exercise has become far too involved.

I sympathize with the story you told, I've experienced similar. Some of the things though like this, in my opinion, just need to be chocked up to a shitty individual or circumstance. Otherwise where does it leave us? Becoming bitter, scanning trains for things we cannot know, and refusing to do things we used to want to and that make society more livable.

No, we can't know if she is an entitled beast just by looking, that's for sure. And it's not about looking on the train trying to figure out who is unworthy or not. The people who are "worthy", when they appear, based on your own standards, you will know.

I agree this was a particular instance with a shitty individual, but by and large her overt actions represent the very entitlement that is embedded into the fibers of the vast majority of women. Some women just express it differently.

It is not about being bitter, it is not about scanning trains for things we cannot know. And does giving up your seat for a woman really make society more livable? Such a thing is debatable.

As far as refusing to do things "we used to want to", not the case for me. I was never really a fan of this chivalrous gesture. We only "used to want to" do it because it was a gesture that was passed down and programmed into us. I remember too many instances growing up, as a boy, and even as a young man (which I still am), where I gave my seat up to obviously healthy young women, and I did so grudgingly. I did so because I thought it was the "right" thing to do, because I was told by my elders who I trusted and believed in that a man should give his seat up for a woman. My beliefs have since changed.

Each man has his own standards I suppose. This I respect. As for the woman in the video though, I wouldn't even look twice. Her and her bag can stand all the way home.

Oh yeah, and Neo>>>>>>>>>>>Keanu Reeves.

Post: #15

Are you telling me if a boner fide 10 was standing next to you you wouldnt offer her a seat? Yeah right. I know I would.

Post: #16

I can't really disagree with any of your points. It comes down to how you feel in a specific circumstance. I certainly don't think any man should feel like he has to. But if he wants to? Thats fine with me, and I like that the gesture still exists.

Post: #17

(08-01-2015 03:32 AM)Pride male Wrote:  Are you telling me if a boner fide 10 was standing next to you you wouldnt offer her a seat? Yeah right. I know I would.

I would not. A boner fide 10 isn't going to suck your cock because you gave her your seat. She already thinks she deserves it just because she has a nice rack.

Instead, I'm going to offer my seat to the first old person to come along and then I'm going to stand up and game her.

Post: #18

Giving up my seat to a woman falls under the broad category of "favors for women" for me, and they're all governed by the three questions:

1. Would I do the same for a man?
2. Is there something in it for me?
3. Would she do the same for me?

If the answer is "no" to all three, then well, no favor, or in this case, no seat.

Post: #19

(08-01-2015 03:32 AM)Pride male Wrote:  Are you telling me if a boner fide 10 was standing next to you you wouldnt offer her a seat? Yeah right. I know I would.

Post: #20

I give up my seat to women all the time. To me it's not about "hey, you're a woman, please allow me to be a gentleman and swoon you." It's more of a "Hey, you are weaker than me, please sit here and I'll stand."

I've always done this.

Post: #21

(08-01-2015 02:20 AM)JonJon Wrote:  Would you give up your seat, and if so, under what circumstances?

For an elderly person - man or woman, I would give up my seat. If the grandmother seemed to be somewhat elderly and seemed to be uncomfortable standing, I would give up my seat. Someone with children....hmmm, not sure.

Post: #22

Good call OP. Only the Old and pregnant get the seat offer from me. Some of you guys have not been on a bus lately ( which is a great thing that I'm Hustling to get to) but offering your seat to a Hot girl or able body women now will get you called a Creep no joke. They say they want Chivalry and if you give it to them they'll look at you like a faggot. Don't play a game you can't win fellas

Post: #23

Its so difficult to get a seat in he metro that unless its a grandmother or a pregnant woman, an elderly guy or a disabled person I don't see the point in giving the seat especially if I will never see this person again. Most girls have no problem standing up anyway and are listening music, thus not giving a shit about their surroundings.

However if I want to try something with the girl, maybe I will offer the seat but this will be because i'm interested and i'm making an approach, which I've done only once in the metro because the girl was foreign and was curious about her.

Post: #24

I generally don't do it; and if there's an elderly person someone else usually gets up before I do anyway. Some of the most rude and aggressive passengers I've come across on the subways have been women, and I generally don't trust anybody when it comes to trying to get a seat. I've typically got reading to do and that's a bit of a nuisance standing against a pole.

Post: #25

call me old school, but I hold doors to look at ass.

Getting out of my seat for a broad? no blanket rule.

Aeroplane?

You knew that you couldn't lift your carry on above your head when you left the house.

WIA