Post: #26

I was asked in PM to elaborate on rule 5:

'The ego is crucial. Build yourself in such a way that your confidence is always high. It must come natural to you to think of yourself as the highest being there is. You should never doubt your path or your capabilities. When you think like that, you will gain what many would perceive as arrogance, but yet it is not. This is what attracts women (and not only women). A man who thinks like that is powerful, as nothing can break his path, his self-commitment. A man such as that cannot be controlled and that what cannot be controlled, will be admired.'

How to build your ego? For most people I think your ego will be defined in your early teens by your environment and your natural skills. An athlete who starts winning physical competitions at age 6 will have enough ego when he enters high school and as such immediately become popular and start gaining attraction with girls. If you are the sole black guy at school probably it will be the same, you stand out, get noticed and get a head start to display your character and strengths.

So my advice then is to find your strengths very early on and try to see how you can showcase them, find a way to stand out. If you don't have any particular natural strengths, you can use cultural aspects in your favor. Dress to the popular hype, get into popular music, etc. or you start working on a certain skill; like fighting, music, ... It's not an easy process for all and not a fast on either. Step by step you have to build that confidence and by every small victory you have, you will grow and it will be noticeable to others. A big part is mentally, you have to keep challenging yourself. There's plenty of guys who started out well, f.i. by good looks, but because of this, don't create the mindset of continuously evolving and challenging yourself. By the time there done with high school the formerly less popular guys, but ones with a eager mind will have passed them by in the hierarchy.

So my advice so far is two fold: Find a way to stand out and master a given skill / develop a mindstate of growth and never get comfortable.

Apart from these, a trick can be to fake it. You fake confidence (this mostly jointly with arrogance) that much, while making sure you don't get challenged on it, people will take notice and threat you better and this results in actual confidence growth. It's not a perfect way, but it can be a first step or for those who really don't have much to work with. Think of the small guy who is overly aggressive and as such gains respect, even though he probably would get his ass kicked whenever a problem would arise. Society is as such these days, that you will hardly ever be actually challenged for what you claim to be.

@Alexandrian: "Thank you for these truly golden rules. Very clear and logical. I only have a couple of (newbie) questions about point 7. Would you recommend "simulating" a dramatic situation and give her the thrill she wants while still being in full control? Also, does anyone have any tips on how to act a bit random and unpredictable without being branded as weird or 'eccentric'?"

Good question. For me personally it goes against my whole nature to have drama in my life. Without women, I would have none and be perfectly happy like that. However, you have to learn how to work with it. Do I simulate it? Yes, actually I do sometimes. Sometimes pretend to be angry when your not, go cold sometimes in messages, flirt with other women in her presence if you feel she is slipping, insinuate things you could do which she would not like to show your options, ... Most times I won't go as far to actually create situations, rather when something comes up, I play along with their natural drama and use it to my advantage. Also here, mix it up, one time you don't care at all, the next time make a fight about it. It will keep her stimulated and guessing. It's important again to not give a lot of information, the less you give the less predictable you are and they won't think of you as weird, just as complicated or mysterious, big difference.