Post: #26

(07-09-2015 02:59 AM)Nord Wrote:  If you're not a natural then it would take a lot of practice. Its more a personality thing, a natural response. If you don't have that wit then its going to take a long time to change your natural responses and thought process. Its not something thats a script to follow/things to remember. Its you as a person that has to change.

I used to be incapable of talking to people. I used to dress like a serial killer.

Through willpower, study, trial and error, I've learned to make friends, get laid, dress well, and generally become better.

Fuck your negativity. Nothing that's worth doing is easy. I want to be better. Don't tell me it's going to be hard to learn, I don't care. If you have a key to understanding this shit, I'm asking for it. I'll put in the hard work to make it happen. Otherwise fuck off.

Edit: Look at the third post on this thread by samsamsam. He said sort of the same thing as you which leads me to believe he's a 'natural'. But he also gave some advice on how to improve. Learn from his post.

Post: #27

(07-08-2015 12:44 PM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

(07-07-2015 06:40 PM)Helium1 Wrote:  I sometimes encounter douchebags who try to be funny but I have a hard time trying to come up with fast replies.

I was wondering what advice do you guys have? Should I just ignore them or attack back?

Find a job on a constructions site, landscape crew, forestry crew, auto shop, welding shop, fruit/farm picker aka male dominated blue collar workspace. Any fast talking/quick burn skills I ever obtained were from those kind of jobs. Not only do you learn to talk fast but you learn the 'line' of and insult and a joke.

I was in a situation like this once. I was in my early 20s, extremely sheltered/shy, and not used to trading insults or whatever the fuck people call it. And funny enough, once the crew I was working with found out I was in college, the insults got worse... Needless to say, I didn't last long

I believe with "douchebags" there's really no need to trade insults if you act confident. As others have said, it's difficult to develop a "quick wit" if it's not something you naturally have. Also, it's more important to have a thick skin in every arena of life.

First try to figure out why you care so much what other people think and maybe work on that.

Post: #28

This thread is worthless without examples.

Post: #29

(07-09-2015 03:07 AM)h3ltrsk3ltr Wrote:  

(07-09-2015 02:59 AM)Nord Wrote:  If you're not a natural then it would take a lot of practice. Its more a personality thing, a natural response. If you don't have that wit then its going to take a long time to change your natural responses and thought process. Its not something thats a script to follow/things to remember. Its you as a person that has to change.

I used to be incapable of talking to people. I used to dress like a serial killer.

Through willpower, study, trial and error, I've learned to make friends, get laid, dress well, and generally become better.

Fuck your negativity. Nothing that's worth doing is easy. I want to be better. Don't tell me it's going to be hard to learn, I don't care. If you have a key to understanding this shit, I'm asking for it. I'll put in the hard work to make it happen. Otherwise fuck off.

Edit: Look at the third post on this thread by samsamsam. He said sort of the same thing as you which leads me to believe he's a 'natural'. But he also gave some advice on how to improve. Learn from his post.

Whoa whoa there buddy, I think you are really misreading the tone of my post, and you're over reacting. Maybe its because I'm writing in a direct style, and it wasn't meant to be prescriptive, more a statement of fact.

h3ltrsk3ltr Wrote:I used to be incapable of talking to people

Used to be? ....I kid. But man, chill out.

h3ltrsk3ltr Wrote:Through willpower, study, trial and error I've generally become better.

Which is exactly what I said is necessary, thus, obviously possible : "it would take a lot of practice." "Its you as a person that has to change"

h3ltrsk3ltr Wrote:Fuck your negativity

Where is that part, exactly?

h3ltrsk3ltr Wrote:Nothing that's worth doing is easy

So you acknowledge that it "would take a lot of practice" and "its going to take a long time to change your natural responses and thought process" - IE Hard work.. which isn't being "negative" obviously, because you agree with me that hard work is required and something worth doing.

h3ltrsk3ltr Wrote:Don't tell me it's going to be hard to learn, I don't care.

Right before this you said nothing thats worth doing is easy so not sure why you'd be upset at hearing it, and more importantly I'm not telling you anything, again I do not understand why you think I'm responding to you personally.

h3ltrsk3ltr Wrote:If you have a key to understanding this shit, I'm asking for it. Otherwise fuck off

Again, why do you think I'm talking to you. You're not the OP, and I'm not quoting you. And who are you to demand and dictate what can or can not be said. I'm not here for you. If you don't find what I say valuable then move on. But don't make stuff up and attack out of nowhere.

All you're doing is projecting your pre-exiting anger and angst on to me. Nothing I said is "negative".

If this is how you regularly act then you still have a long way to go.

Post: #30

Women definitely dig when men are witty to each other. It's just not something women do with other women out of fear of being labelled a bitch and cast out of the group.

Post: #31

Watch all seasons of Californication. David Duchovny does the witty comebacks better than anyone I've ever seen. Yes it's a scripted show but it's actually pretty realistic in terms of how he interacts and handles shit tests from women.

Post: #32

Double

Post: #33

@Nord - Ok dude, on second thought, let's just bury the hatchet. I'm sure I did miss your point.

Post: #34

(07-09-2015 02:28 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

(07-08-2015 01:37 PM)kaotic Wrote:  As I've gotten older, I do this less, unless I'm teasing girls. I grew a lot of facial hair, started working out, I have that "resting asshole face", and I have a serious demeanor yet easy going vibe...that is until I open my mouth or crack a smile.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articl...eason.html

Did not know that resting asshole face was a thing - like resting bitch face.

is that it?

Yeahs for men it's kind of a pissed off angry look but kind of calm and cool.

It's always been natural for me, I remember back in high school a handful of incidents where guys thought I was mad dogging them when in reality I was just chilling.

It's easier to show than explain.

Occasionally people ask if I'm pissed, why I'm so serious, etc.

If I'm at the gym, I'm in the zone


I just have that intense look, I look pissed, I look aggro. I never smile, I'm always focused, people are surprised when I come up and ask them if they're using a bar or rope, or if they're almost done.

(07-09-2015 02:54 AM)h3ltrsk3ltr Wrote:  

(07-09-2015 02:28 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

(07-08-2015 01:37 PM)kaotic Wrote:  As I've gotten older, I do this less, unless I'm teasing girls. I grew a lot of facial hair, started working out, I have that "resting asshole face", and I have a serious demeanor yet easy going vibe...that is until I open my mouth or crack a smile.

Did not know that resting asshole face was a thing - like resting bitch face.

is that it?

Hilarious. Yes, I'd say you nailed it.

This is one of my biggest hang-ups. I suck at comebacks! I don't know if it was because I'm the oldest child in my family, or because I was homeschooled (yup, sure was).

I've had the feeling of being in command of a social situation, but I feel like I'm kind of being a bully. I'd rather be the cool and collected dude who speaks 'less but better'.

Being able to banter seems to be a matter of developing an alpha mindset in a group of people. Though multiple sports teams, military, and male-dominated jobs, I still suck at shit-talk. Can anyone help me with this?

Fuck, I'll pay. Seriously. PM me and I'll either trade services or cash for instruction and guided practice.

Nothing wrong with speaking less and with more quality.

Start listening to comedians dealing with hecklers, Comedians doing a roundtable discussion.

Seriously comedians get it, they know how to burn someone so good with a few words.

Start telling stories if you're a good story teller.

Post: #35

(07-09-2015 10:52 AM)h3ltrsk3ltr Wrote:  @Nord - Ok dude, on second thought, let's just bury the hatchet. I'm sure I did miss your point.

No problem man

Post: #36

(07-08-2015 12:52 PM)booksarefun666 Wrote:  Something I noticed is people are more receptive when you say nothing but what needs to be said and when the quiet guy says something truly burning it amplifies that sting a hundredfold.

I agree with this, I'm not a very talkative guy. Friends have described me as , "The quiet storm". I don't say much, but when I do open my mouth, its well thought out and sometimes has the whole room cracking up with laughter.

My dad used to tell me, If your mouth is moving you're not learning anything.

Post: #37

(07-08-2015 01:37 PM)kaotic Wrote:  I grew up around a bunch cats that ALWAYS were busting your balls. At first I'd just smile/laugh, then agree and amplify. As I hungout with them more I got better at talking shit, spitting out burns fast, being more creative with jokes.

As I've gotten older, I do this less, unless I'm teasing girls. I grew a lot of facial hair, started working out, I have that "resting asshole face", and I have a serious demeanor yet easy going vibe...that is until I open my mouth or crack a smile.

People can't tell when I'm being serious or joking, which is a great thing to use.

The main corpo job I work at isn't much PC at all, it's a mostly male environment, we cuss, we joke about women, being whipped etc. My secondary job is me being the boss, we still joke, talk shit, diss eachother, and even when the girls are working.

I think I was born with it...nobody ever gives me shit thankfully.

Unfortunately it's not too much help in job interviews...

Post: #38

Learn these three simple words:

"No, you are!"

Post: #39

(07-08-2015 01:37 PM)kaotic Wrote:  People can't tell when I'm being serious or joking, which is a great thing to use.

This is a great thing.... I once tried to hide this quality of mine but that was a terrible idea. They don't know I am are serious until the next morning when I ask them to leave because they havn't cleaned the house up or made breakfast like a solid Asian or Latina would do.

Post: #40

Work in construction.(edit: as Dr.Howard said, most traditional type jobs, or male-dominated work)

Alternatively, find some people who work in a competitive field, they will often 'banter' a lot at work. Listen to them.

Post: #41

Arnold Schwarzenegger once got pelted with an egg by a heckler and he simply asked for "more protein!"

The key to winning comebacks is positive misinterpretation.

Like everything else in game, after a point this will come to you naturally as you gain bantering experience, until then watch the comedians and TV shows already mentioned. I also enjoy reading repartee jokes & anecdotes and one of my favorites is this one:

Quote:Traveling on a train in New York, Horace Greeley (editor, NY Tribune), observed a fellow passenger reading the Sun. Always interested to discover what made people buy the rival newspaper, Greeley asked "Don't you read the Tribune?"

"I do," replied the other man, "but I use it to wipe my arse with!"

"Keep it up," said Greeley, "and soon you'll have more brains in your arse than you do in your head."

Post: #42

Wounderful advice, thanks for share

Post: #43

(07-09-2015 01:22 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Start listening to comedians dealing with hecklers, Comedians doing a roundtable discussion.

Seriously comedians get it, they know how to burn someone so good with a few words.

Bill Burr was talking about this other comic who made a joke about a plane crash and some dude in the crowd stood up and yelled something about how his wife was on that flight.

Without missing a beat the comic came back and said, Great let's dig her up and fuck her.

After that Bill was talking about how the comic had to go to that level to win. He had to amplify in a situation where a normal person wouldn't.

I am always impressed when a person can amplify to a nuclear level at the drop of a hat like that, especially if they can do it with only a few words.

This can also work with women. Here's an example from a Tucker Max book:

Tucker “Look, I’m not trying to judge you about it. I’m slutty sometimes too. And personally, I like sluts; they’re the most fun. But if you act like a slut, you should be ready for some guys to call you a slut.”

Velma “I’m not a slut!”

Tucker “You’re not a slut? Really? If you told your dad how many dicks have been in your mouth, what would he say?

Another key is in the delivery. You can't come off as angry if you want to clown people. You want to amplify but you have to be calm about it.

Post: #44

(07-22-2015 06:38 PM)General Mayhem Wrote:  Another key is in the delivery. You can't come off as angry if you want to clown people. You want to amplify but you have to be calm about it.