If you have fucked a girl multiple times and she is not getting emotionally attached to you, then she is psychologically broken and you should avoid her.
I know some want to be super players, devoid of any emotion, who use women as nothing more than decoration, sex toys and maids. However, I think that it is natural to develop some sort of attachment to a person with whom you’re regularly sharing the most intimate experience. I am far less experienced than most of you and I’ve been in only one fuck buddy arrangement. Since then I’m not looking any more for such an experience. I want to fuck a girl a couple of times and never see her again, or I want to try to build a relationship with her.
The fuck buddy sex felt hollow and cold. It felt like a transaction. It felt no different than the interactions I have with my colleagues, my boss or the cashier at the shop. A purely conditional interaction, where each party is looking to invest the smallest amount of effort and to extract the maximum amount of profit. An interaction where appearances are only kept up because there is something to gain.
I understand that emotional attachment is not unconditional, and that it is build through providing value to people, be it to your friends, to your girlfriend, to your family. And it can be lost as well, once you stop providing value. However, people who fail to develop any emotional attachment to you even though you regularly provide them with valuable, intimate experiences, are not worth to be a part of your life.
(06-10-2015 08:55 PM)StrikeBack Wrote: It's how they get attached to you. There's wanting to invest in a relationship with you in a healthy way progressively, and there's the unstable drama bitch. With the latter, you get all sorts of wonderful things, too much too soon. Imagine you getting to meet all her friends and all the future "in-laws" within the first couple of weeks because she's so in loooooooove. The wall of TXTs you get every other hour on your phone. Call you at 2am on a week night because you make her feel so wonderful that she's gotta know right now at this moment, while you are getting a good night sleep, if you feel the same way. Find out where your mother lives all on her own because she wants to meet her future MIL... Or try to insert herself into every part of your life rapidly, and question why you spend so much time at the gym because she already loves you the way you are (no bitch, it takes hard work to get this hard bod that you like so much).
I completely agree with StrikeBack on this part. Clinginess = too much emotional attachment, too soon. A clingy girl is completely controlled by her emotions, which are a rollercoaster. She doesn’t care about rationality and she certainly doesn’t care about you. This is the type of girl that will stalk you (or worse) when you break up with her. And this is also the type of girl that will drop you like a brick all of a sudden.
I have been in an ltr with such a girl. The relationship lasted three months, and it that timeframe I met all her friends, her entire family and I even went on holiday together with her and her family. She was texting me all the time, and went crazy when I didn’t respond for a couple of hours. She was even talking about marrying one day. Her mood swings were terrible. One moment she could be the most pleasant person in the world, and 5 minutes later she was the biggest bitch ever or seemed ready to commit suicide. Out of the blue she dumped me to hop on the next shiny cock. In the years after she had multiple boyfriends and every single one of her relationships followed the same pattern. I am very happy that I managed to cut her out of my life.
My take on it: both the girl that fails to develop an emotional attachment to you and the girl that develops too much attachment too soon, are psychologically damaged and should be cut out of your life. I see no downsides to a healthy attachment, unless you are purely looking for sex and absolutely nothing else.