Post: #1

Short take:

I've been out of the game for a while. I proposed this 10 day, 100 approaches challenge to myself to get back in the groove. I'm posting it here so that there are (somewhat) social consequences if I puss out or fail.

The Rules:

- I have to approach (at least) 10 girls per day for 10 days, starting tomorrow Thursday, May 21.
- An Approach means starting a conversation with a girl who I have potential romantic interest in and with whom I have never before interacted.
- I'm not allowed to exit the conversation unless I've been rejected. If I exit early without asking for number, Facebook, whatever, then my counter for the day starts over.
- "Drive by's" don't count.
- Congratulate yourself thoroughly after each approach to train the habit.
- At the end of the day or next morning, I post my results and thoughts here.
- Other rules may be implemented as needed.

Backstory:

I'm coming off of a long recovery after a failed, serious, multi-year, long-term relationship.

I used to be somewhat of a player (dated multiple models, Olympic athletes, Miss CountryX contestants, regularly living off of girls for housing, food, money, etc etc) until I met my ex and eventually wanted to settle down and start a family. I wasn't a man yet, and I ended up getting dumped.

Took a long time off from girls to develop actual skills and become a contributing member of society. When I got ready to date again, my skills had naturally eroded from being inactive for so long.

A buddy who does well in the night scene suggested RealSocialDynamics. I'd heard of Roosh before and read Bang and Day Bang. Love the Elderly Opener.

Anyway, last month or so I've been getting back into it but results haven't been coming as fast as I'd like.

Here are the main sticking points I've noticed so far:

- Not opening enough girls.

I have a somewhat bad habit of talking myself out of starting chats with girls unless they're like smoking hot, 8.5 and above. In that situation, my brain pretty much shuts down, and I walk to them like a moth to light. I've had the most success with these type girls before, so that also likely plays a role.

- Exiting too soon.

This ^. Conversation loses momentum? Well, I've been excusing myself like a pussy. I want to retrain my mind to ask for Facebook info and/or phone # when the instinct to split kicks in. Also see above rule.

- Not knowing what I want.

I honestly don't at this point...eventually I want wife and kids (wives?) and all that. But of course I have to find a worthy candidate first... One night stands...those are not normally my thing though I've had some. Maybe a summer fling or a nice rotation of girls? We'll see. Most important thing is just to get the ball rolling again and re-build those habits.

One thing I do know is that I want options. I want the skills back so that when I do decide what I want, I'm able to go get it. So me posting this log and challenge here is just a way to brute force myself into forcing through the slog =)

I'll post back up here at least once every day during the challenge. Hope this helps someone or at the very least gives you guys good flame fodder

Post: #2

P.S. Hope this thread doesn't violate any forum rules or anything. I checked the FAQ and didn't see anything.

Post: #3

(05-20-2015 01:26 PM)55snacksters Wrote:  Short take:

I've been out of the game for a while. I proposed this 10 day, 100 approaches challenge to myself to get back in the groove. I'm posting it here so that there are (somewhat) social consequences if I puss out or fail.

The Rules:

- I have to approach (at least) 10 girls per day for 10 days, starting tomorrow Thursday, May 21.
- An Approach means starting a conversation with a girl who I have potential romantic interest in and with whom I have never before interacted.
- I'm not allowed to exit the conversation unless I've been rejected. If I exit early without asking for number, Facebook, whatever, then my counter for the day starts over.
- "Drive by's" don't count.
- Congratulate yourself thoroughly after each approach to train the habit.
- At the end of the day or next morning, I post my results and thoughts here.
- Other rules may be implemented as needed.

Backstory:

I'm coming off of a long recovery after a failed, serious, multi-year, long-term relationship.

I used to be somewhat of a player (dated multiple models, Olympic athletes, Miss CountryX contestants, regularly living off of girls for housing, food, money, etc etc) until I met my ex and eventually wanted to settle down and start a family. I wasn't a man yet, and I ended up getting dumped.

Took a long time off from girls to develop actual skills and become a contributing member of society. When I got ready to date again, my skills had naturally eroded from being inactive for so long.

A buddy who does well in the night scene suggested RealSocialDynamics. I'd heard of Roosh before and read Bang and Day Bang. Love the Elderly Opener.

Anyway, last month or so I've been getting back into it but results haven't been coming as fast as I'd like.

Here are the main sticking points I've noticed so far:

- Not opening enough girls.

I have a somewhat bad habit of talking myself out of starting chats with girls unless they're like smoking hot, 8.5 and above. In that situation, my brain pretty much shuts down, and I walk to them like a moth to light. I've had the most success with these type girls before, so that also likely plays a role.

- Exiting too soon.

This ^. Conversation loses momentum? Well, I've been excusing myself like a pussy. I want to retrain my mind to ask for Facebook info and/or phone # when the instinct to split kicks in. Also see above rule.

- Not knowing what I want.

I honestly don't at this point...eventually I want wife and kids (wives?) and all that. But of course I have to find a worthy candidate first... One night stands...those are not normally my thing though I've had some. Maybe a summer fling or a nice rotation of girls? We'll see. Most important thing is just to get the ball rolling again and re-build those habits.

One thing I do know is that I want options. I want the skills back so that when I do decide what I want, I'm able to go get it. So me posting this log and challenge here is just a way to brute force myself into forcing through the slog =)

I'll post back up here at least once every day during the challenge. Hope this helps someone or at the very least gives you guys good flame fodder

Not saying this isn't true. BUT, if it is, you must have had some sort of fame/status before your LTR. Or have top 1% physical looks, in which case I'd say all you really need to do is dress well and show up to bars/clubs.

Post: #4

Day 1 May 21, 2015

Total Approaches: 7

Started off the day in complete crap mood, stuck inside my own head. First couple of approaches were just stuff like "do you know where X is?" "do you have a cigarette?". Just simple environmental stuff to get out of my own head.

Most of the girls early on were friendly but soon excused themselves from the conversation. Zero vibe.

Had to work late and by the time I was finished was completely burnt out. Total buzz kill mood like trapped in my own head, half-depressed, etc etc.

I watched a RSD video where the main guy (can't remember his name?) referenced he had a buddy who could kill it with girls even (especially?) when he was in a low energy, no party, half-depressed mood.

I figured that was something I could do (and probably have done before) so I decided to give it a shot. Hit the pavement until I found the right girl/situation for my mood -- a girl at a bus stop waiting.

Turned out to be a Russian headed to the airport. Strong vibes, lots of laughs and flirting, some touching, lots of her interrogating me, nice cheek kisses as she left. Got her FB info (i prefer FB to phone) and might look her up when she gets back from Rus.

Observations:

- Just open. There were a couple of girls I didn't open but should have. Can't leave any sitting on the table if I want to hit 10 every day.

- Not going to beat myself up if I don't open because I want to have ZERO emotional response. Even if I do puss out I'm not going to acknowledge it all. Don't want to inadvertently train myself to become addicted to those emotions.

- Posting in here and setting a tangible daily goal definitely helps in forcing me to approach. It's about the goal and not the chick

- I'm working on seeding the emotions and feelings of being successful with girls by having a little song I hum to myself when I'm out hunting. Idea is to be able to feel those feelings on demand by strongly associating them with this song.

Overall, day was a success as I pushed through some bad emotional states and approached anyway. Also, I overcame the habit of ejecting too early from the convo by just continuing to talk until the girl left (or I get info). Didn't hit my goal number, but I've already made some logistical changes to put me in front of more pretty girls during the day time. Success

Post: #5

(05-21-2015 04:16 PM)ordinaryleastsquared Wrote:  Not saying this isn't true. BUT, if it is, you must have had some sort of fame/status before your LTR. Or have top 1% physical looks, in which case I'd say all you really need to do is dress well and show up to bars/clubs.

Nah, not really. Fame and status are all relative anyway. Remember girls are practically 100% self-centered. So if you're famous and have high status in her environment and day-to-day life, then you're famous to her. Even if you're not

Think about those Mormon elders running the closed up villages out in the desert with dozens deep harems of young blondes...who has more fame and status to those girls -- the village elder or Brad Pitt?

I can be pretty outgoing at times with everyone. So think about if I'm walking down my street with a girl, and she sees 3-5 people say "hello" to me or come and shoot the shit for a minute. To her and in this setting, I'm famous.

Other thing with the model chicks/athletes/whatever....these girls tend to be quite tall. So automatically like 80-90% of men are disqualified for being too short. I'm taller than them plus a huge guy (think powerlifter or rugby). So I'm in like the 1% of guys who are even capable of physically dominating them....

As for looks, realistically I'm not a model. But I've been told by a lot of girls that I have a memorable or different or striking face. Who knows. Not sure if it really matters. Obviously, I think I'm the shit.

Post: #6

why on earth do you prefer facebook to phone?

Post: #7

Day 2:

Approaches: 7/10

Definitely built on momentum from day before.

First girl I opened -- cute blonde waiting on line to buy coffee -- went swimmingly. Lots of laughs and flirting...her asking me questions. Solid vibe. Definitely mutual attraction at work. Got her to buy my coffee as well Got her details BUT should have gotten her to sit down and have coffee and a chat together. That way could have gotten to know each other a little bit and gotten comfortable together.

May or may not contact her, we'll see. Good chance i'll run into her again. If the # isn't super strong then sometimes I like to not contact and see if some serendipity can occur where the girl ends up chasing me...for example if she sees me getting another girl to buy my coffee next week

Also had really good interaction with 4-5 other girls.

One i asked for # and stuff but didn't get it. This was my fault though because of the way I had framed a flirting thread from our conversation...her saying "no" to giving # was actually the right answer for increased vibe and, well, I laughed. Difficult to explain that via text.

Lots of faces getting flushed and hands twirling through hair all around. Good signs.

A thing I heard from a few girls is "i didn't come hear to socialize, just to work/study/whatever". Need to think about a way to reframe this objection/shit test.

Also did a really direct open of a cute red head in a case where logistics were horrible.

Basically was like me opening and then getting shot down in front of 100s of people who all *could have* overheard the convo or seen it. Heh.

Honestly, it felt great just to practice that could of moxie. Recommended. Good to do those kind of approaches now and then as it makes the more mundane ones even easier.

Don't think direct is the ticket when girls are in study/work mode, with certain exceptions (like tons of eye contact across a room).

Some thoughts:

- Feeling very good about my ability to build attraction in 5-10 minutes and then get numbers/FB. Which, fine, but these numbers are lukewarm because the comfort and genuine connection aren't there, only attraction in the moment -- which is a fleeting little pixie, at best. Will work on doing that...maybe start bouncing certain girls outside for a tea or smoke or sunlight break? We'll see. Lots of options.

- Time management. I spent at least an hour yesterday talking to girls, realistically I need to be able to put in 2 hours per day to get the type of results I want. Need to cut out any and all extraneous BS from my life. Might start waking up earlier and getting bulk of work done before the pretty girls and the sun are out

Solid day. Put together a strong foundation to build upon.

Post: #8

(05-23-2015 04:05 AM)eradicator Wrote:  why on earth do you prefer facebook to phone?

A few reasons:

1. Boiled frog theory. Make the path as easy as possible for the girl. There's wayyyy less resistance to giving out FB versus phone number. Particularly if i only have time for 5-10 minutes of convo.

2. My FB profile is kick ass Lots of hobbies, lots of photos of me in cool places with cute girls. Plus there's some reasons particular to my location. Also, kind of humanizes me a bit...this is also difficult to explain.

Like...she expects me to ask for the # from our convo's vibe....if i ask for FB then she might think "hmm, maybe this man just wants to be friends...wtf..am i getting fat? why doesn't he like me?" etc etc. good to defy their expectations from time to time

3. Comfort building. With a lot of these girls I'm only building attraction, in order to take it to the romantic stage need the comfort there as well. Just logistically easier for me to do that via FB (send them pictures of bears, cats, puppies, etc) than phone. I also have an old phone that I leave on airplane mode most of the time.

Just personal preference as i'm not a big fan of being slave to the phone but use FB quite a bit for business, so i'm already there. Also, check out the FB news feed blocker for Chrome

Once I chat these girls up for a bit on FB, and we make some sort of plans, then getting the phone # is inconsequential.

That said, the ideal case is to get the number from the get go. But to do that I need attraction + comfort and comfort takes time. And I'm not going to give my precious time to girls right away who i don't really really click with.

So, what I might do from now on is:

- If i'm really attracted to a girl and the vibe is very strong, push for us to go somewhere else and do the comfort/get to know you thing.
- Medium vibe, then get FB. That way, i can just be messaging a handful of girls on FB at the same time (with the same messages ) and trying to build comfort and push for a date or meetup.

This way let's me focus my time on the strongest candidates for entry into 55snacksters's world without throwing away girls who maybe weren't in the right mood at the time to really vibe.

Hope that makes sense. Kind of thinking out loud here a bit

Post: #9

Weekend was a bit of a blow out...not really in a bad way though.

Saturday is normal rest and day off day for me...should have accounted for that in my original plan. Ended up approaching a handful of girls anyway just because. Also realized, even though I'm not going to force myself to approach in Saturdays, I do want to reorganize my weekend routine a bit to put my around more girls during the day.

I've had a long standing rule not to talk to any girls in the gym. Well, i'm done with that. Not like I'm a pro athlete or body builder or something anyway

Sunday was out in a boot on the water all day. Met a few new girls, had some good vibes, and have plans with one in the near future. Win.

So, it's been 5 days now (I think...still a little tipsy from yesterday =S ) and have four (I think) girls who could possibly enter the rotation. Obviously law of averages says one or none will actually work out, but still....this is what momentum feels like...

And now I've got a blonde across the room making eyes with me....

Post: #10

To help us out can you give us your age and height? You mentioned you are in top 1% of the population so I assume just by your looks you should be able to get far. Day-game is all about initial attraction as usually you only have 5 minutes or so for conversation, especially when these approaches are bus/metro/store line approaches. Since you mentioned that you dated models and Olympic athletes I honestly don't understand why you should even bother with 100 approaches.

Just go to a bar or club that has a decent ratio, post up by the entrance and chat up the girls who come near you. In two nights at a happening place you can get more numbers than spending 10 days casually approaching.

Post: #11

(05-26-2015 08:44 AM)TripleG Wrote:  To help us out can you give us your age and height? You mentioned you are in top 1% of the population so I assume just by your looks you should be able to get far. Day-game is all about initial attraction as usually you only have 5 minutes or so for conversation, especially when these approaches are bus/metro/store line approaches. Since you mentioned that you dated models and Olympic athletes I honestly don't understand why you should even bother with 100 approaches.

Just go to a bar or club that has a decent ratio, post up by the entrance and chat up the girls who come near you. In two nights at a happening place you can get more numbers than spending 10 days casually approaching.

I've been out of the game for a whilllllllllleee. Needed some crazy goal like 100 approaches to shock my system a bit.

Going out at night during the week regularly isn't really an option for me at the moment. Don't really count those approaches anyway since that's too easy. IF what I wanted was just one night stands then yes i'd be doing that hardcore.

Also, I'm most attracted to introverted girls...so they're not typically at the loud, night spots eh

Anyway, last two days have been failures on my little system here. Some approaches but didn't track them and blah blah. Was overstressed about some work stuff and in no mood for convo. That's mostly resolved now.

Anyway, I've decided to adjust my system.

Problem was by only tracking and rewarding approaches, I was incentivized to just open and not really push the interaction further. Also it became a time burden since I was getting into longer convos pretty easily.

Instead of 10 approaches per day, my new goal is 10 points.

Here are how points are allocated:

• Approach: 1 point
• Phone number: 2 points
• Instadate: 5 points
• Kiss: 7 points
• Sweet sweet love: 10 points
  

Decided to take FB out of the mix. I need to be more...let's say overtly sexual...in my approaches rather than just falling into the entertaining/fun convo vibe which has happened a couple of times. All or nothing, burn the bridges, get the # every time.

Soooooo...to make sure I keep skin in the game I'm adding some incentives.

Negative incentive:

If I fail to get 5 points in a day, i.e. five approaches at the very least, then I have to donate $20 to the worst, most vile cause imaginable.

You guys can pitch in on what that could be

Don't really have a positive incentive or tangible goal in mind yet. I'll think on that one.

P.S. On the looks thing...it's not that I'm Brad Pitt...more like that I really project the danger/protector vibe. Some girls find this really attractive.