Post: #1

It's funny (or I guess not) how being in the right frame of mind can seriously skew results. The other day I was super relaxed sitting next to these two girls, they actually opened me but I had their full attention for like 15 minutes and felt good after the interaction.

Today I had spent the whole afternoon programming by the end I was hungry, tired and just felt anti-social and as a result my interactions were piss poor.

In Bang RV says that he is "always on" but I just cannot see how I can be on after 5 hours of pure mental draining. Does anyone else have similar problems?!

Post: #2

I can't be always on. It's mentally exhausting. I do programming too so I get the whole being "in the zone" thing when working.
That itself is exhausting by the end of the day.

I need one day a week to unplug and basically clear my head from work and other shit.

Just get some rest and eat before going out. You only have to be on when you're in groups or when approaching.

Post: #3

I'm alone most the time during the week (excluding dates), I recharge from the gym. It's nice not worrying about game or anything in general.

I prefer to think I'm on autopilot rather than "on".

On autopilot you cruise, game, approach, react, etc are all working subconsciously.

You need to have ingrained into your mind in order for it to be on autopilot.

If I'm hanging with new girls in a social setting, i'm on auto-pilot, if I see ioi's or we talk outside the group, I take over the controls and proceed.

Post: #4

(04-17-2015 06:00 PM)The_Wonder Wrote:  It's funny (or I guess not) how being in the right frame of mind can seriously skew results. The other day I was super relaxed sitting next to these two girls, they actually opened me but I had their full attention for like 15 minutes and felt good after the interaction.

Today I had spent the whole afternoon programming by the end I was hungry, tired and just felt anti-social and as a result my interactions were piss poor.

In Bang RV says that he is "always on" but I just cannot see how I can be on after 5 hours of pure mental draining. Does anyone else have similar problems?!

Your problem is somewhat specific.

You spend most of your day doing somewhat brainy work that is best done without interruption and social interaction.

You probably despise emails and group meetings - anything that breaks you away from your task.

A lot of cubicle drones (myself included) face the same problem.

I can get into my work, throw on some ear plugs to drown out ambient noise, or typically some earbuds with some good music - but if I can avoid unnecessary human interaction I will.

At the end of the day, I'm mentally exhausted and even if I haven't talked to people, I'm irritable to the entire idea.

What typically works for me
- I change my environment.
- I spend some time unwinding. Some vegging out.

That'll bring me back to zero.

If I know I'm going to go out that night/that day

- go through the ritual
- shower, cologne, fresh clothes
- eat something
- throw on some good music

If that's not possible - not enough time, I pull something up on the iPod and rap along for a verse or two.

So the general answer to your problem is you need to decompress, and then use some sort of neutral outside stimulus to bring you back into the world of the social.

If you always want to be "on", you probably need to change jobs, or change roles at your current company.

Game at the highest level is entirely internalized. Even when you're not in a good mood, you know what to say and you say it. Sometimes getting that first smile/laugh is enough to reset your meter.

WIA

Post: #5

Sound like you're prone to getting stuck in your head. Especially after doing analytical work like that. I've had that issue, too.

Look into:

Being in the moment/being present
Mindfulness meditation
Inner body awareness (comes from qi gong)

All of these take some effort at first but the payoff is huge and worth it. They have helped me a lot.

Post: #6

I don't think it's necessary or ideal to be always on. What goes up must come down; alter that natural balance and suffer the consequences.

Your problem seems to stem from your work though. Sounds like you need a transition or ritual of sorts before you go back to the real world. Maybe an uplifting podcast. Our some comedy. Maybe a workout. Maybe a simple hot shower with music and sprucing up.

Find what works.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #7

Everyone has off days, but the more you practice being "on" the more natural it gets. At least thats my experience. It helps if you have a job that predisposes you to being on all the time - sales is perfect for this. If you have a sales personality game (or more accurately, frame) just comes naturally.

On a related note, I've found that sales books can offer some unintended assistance in developing game/frame.

Post: #8

This is an ongoing challenge you'll face right through your evolution as a man. Even when you've progressed through your newbie stage and have banged a lot of women, there are still moments when you're not on.

It's normal and you should embrace it as part of your being rather than try to fight and allow it to dominate you. In the modern world we face a heavy cognitive load with work, social lives and countless other bits of information (news) that fly your way. Establishing boundaries helps to monitor that. These boundaries can be either outward facing (refusing to spend time with negative energy people), or inward facing. Inward facing boundaries I like to view as mentally reinforcing to yourself not to get so caught up and over-obsessed with something (ie. your work or an interaction with a colleague). Do your best of course, but if you begin to feel tired and anti-social as a result, pull yourself back and realise that work is work and it will eventually get done.

What RexImperator said about mindfulness is correct. The more time you spend thinking and relaxing in this way, the less your programming tasks will be taxing on your sense of self.

And of course the anti-social feeling is an illusion. If you forced yourself to open a girl while walking away from your office, the negative energy will wash away and leave you feeling "on" instantly. Sometimes you need to engineer the first approach to turn the switch - otherwise you'd be too distracted to get anything done (because being always on in a game sense implies that you're hunting only for pussy at all times, which you shouldn't be).

A wing of mine had a similar job that he felt crippled his weekday game, so he began chatting up the girl on the corner convenience store by the office every day. He'd pop in at random times for a drink/pack of gum/whatever and just chat with her about random shit to keep the social juices flowing. She was also a beneficiary of this (as lone retail workers get bored), and it didn't have to be with the aim of sleeping with her quickly. Think of it as a calibrating aid.

One of these will help you.