Post: #1

So the other day I was reflecting on my life and what I have done throughout College thus far and I was really disappointed with the way things have gone.

Start-11th Grade HS

So I used to always have tons of friends and was told I was a really funny guy and I would say I was always one of the "it" people in a crowd. I was quite popular, funny, outgoing. I was constantly asked to hang out with almost all of the attractive girls in my grade. I really enjoyed my life and who I was at that point.

Now I am in my 3rd year of college and ever since 11th grade I feel like my personality has taken a turn for the worse, i am no longer as successful at meeting women and I have like 1/4th of the friends I once had. I also find myself extremely shy and intimidated at times. Since January I have brought only 2 girls back to my place and had sex with none of them. One was extremely pretty/great personality and then the next night we hung out again, but I could just tell I was losing it and she probably saw me as desperate. This really just sucks that I have lost so much of my confidence and I really hate not having women in my life. I still have like my buddys g/fs wondering why I don't get a lot of women because around them I am very comfortable, funny and I come off as confident. It's like I just get intimidated around new crowds, people, attractive girls which NEVER happened to me.

Anyways I need some advice of how to get out of this state of mind and regain my old confident self. I want to have lots of friends, be that alpha male who makes everyone laugh, be that guy who can really vibe with girls and have a good time.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Post: #2

I went through a similiar phase from about 20-21. I pulled out of it by trying new things. I became a raft guide the summer after my sophmore year, met a lot of cool folks, started pushing myself in my sport (whitewater kayaking). Transfered colleges to one with a much better campus life, and everything just fell back in place.

However, now at 25, out of college and recently out of 2 year career in politics, I'm in a bit of a rut again. Not nearly as many friends and girls in my life as 2 years ago, and about to move across the country to start grad school.

SO, my experience is life tends to be up and down for a lot of folks. But better times always will come. If you were a something of a natural with people and girls when you were younger, I bet you'll have an easy time getting back in the groove.

Try getting involved with a new sport/hobby/interest, that provides chances to meet new people and challenge yourself. Make an effort to go to social engagements and really try to connect with as many people there as you can and be the graviational center of the interaction. Talk to girls all over the place and don't hesitate to escalate the interaction if at all possible.