Post: #1

I used to work with this girl (I work in a science research lab at school). So this girl is pretty antisocial. From what the rest of the people that work there told me, she keeps to herself usually. She usually eats by herself and rarely gets involved in conversations with others who work there when they are gathered together and talking. When she walks into the lab she pretty much never greets anyone and just sits down (she sits at the far end of the lab but passes by everyone to get there), and when she leaves the lab, she doesn’t say bye to anyone even though she passes by them. So basically, she seems pretty antisocial.

The first 2 weeks I was there (when I first started working there), she seemed to be really flirty with me and into me. One time, I was asking one of the lab members about where I can find bookstores nearby to buy books for my classes (since it was the beginning of school). The girl joined in the conversation and when she talked to me, she was very happy, energetic, enthusiastic and had a big smile on her face and she was telling me about different bookstores and which books she recommends for my classes. Another time, I was asking some people in the lab for advice about a certain class that I had to take (a class that they took), and she joined the conversation, again with lots of enthusiasm and a big smile and she was giving me information and advice on the class (how to do well etc.).

Another time, I took my jacket off in the lab to work with some chemicals, and I have a tattoo on one arm. I was making a bottle of some chemical, and while I was waiting for the chemicals to mix (basically just standing there doing nothing but waiting), she went up to me and started asking me questions about my tattoo, like when I got it, did I design it myself, and she said that her cousin has one and that mine looks really nice and she likes the color. I just said thanks and didn’t continue the conversation, and she eventually left. She seemed very happy and enthusiastic and had a really big smile and was very energetic when she was talking to me.

I never really initiated a conversation with her (the only time I ever talked to her was when I asked questions about how to do something). I never made an effort to talk to her, but I talked to the other people in the lab and made friends with them. She almost never came along when me and everyone else ate lunch together. At the end of my 2nd week there, she stopped being so cheery with me and talked to me with a normal tone of voice. She also pretty much never got involved in any conversation that me and the rest of the lab were having. And if she did, she never directed any attention toward me. I don’t work there anymore, but if I see her and I say hi to her, she’ll say hi to me without a smile and no enthusiasm. But other people that worked there greet me with a smile when I see them nowadays. And now I like this girl (and it’s been probably half a year since I stopped working there and I almost never see her).

So did this girl even like me? If she did, why did she start acting differently a couple of weeks later (meaning not being so happy around me and not trying to talk to me)?

And did I make the right choice by essentially giving her the cold shoulder, since it was at work? Or should I have tried to get with her?

Has she completely lost interest in me? If I try to get with her now, will she turn me down?

Post: #2

You were correct (IMO) in not starting an office romance, but that's about where things stop going right for you here. Being that you're both students at the same school, and the job you shared wasn't permanent, there would've been less risk had you attempted to make more of the relationship early on.

She probably stopped being so "happy" around you because most people don't want to be a dick to the new guy. Even if she did like you, you gave her cold responses, so she probably felt spurned and resents you for that.

Here's my list of issues and why you need to just forget about this one and find someone else to practice on:

1. You worked with her, so she knows some of your social circle
2. You seem to like her to the point where you value you her more than you should
3. You've known her at least 6 months already and nothing has happened
4. She's shy/antisocial, you're better off passing due to the added time and effort required with that type

If you absolutely MUST see her/hang out with her, my advice would be next time you see her say something like, "Hey, how have you been?" Etc... and then "We should get a drink and catch up." I wouldn't spend any additional time thinking about this though.