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What are your biggest red flags?
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Femtilapp Offline
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Post: #301
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
Nah Im just a dude who likes to get my dick wet. I should've elaborated, I usually go out clubbing/bars with my mate. That's my red flag, as Im currently in a LTR
05-23-2018 10:02 AM
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Sandstorm Offline
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Post: #302
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
1. Asking "what do I get out of it?" when I probe if she likes giving blowjobs.

2. A sudden outburst of unwarranted anger at something inconsequential (often around being hungry or NEEDING TO EAT SOMETHING NOW!! (crazy cunts)

3. Not talking/monosyllabic responses even when I'm bothering to attempt new threads to talk about.

To any of those I'm very quick to.... next!

L:162 F:20 V:9 A:6 3S:1

"Water, water, everywhere, nor any drop to drink"
05-23-2018 11:35 AM
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HankMoody Offline
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Post: #303
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
- Smoking
- Being single and owning a big dog in a large city, or several cats, and talking about how her pets are her family / boyfriend
- Constant use of cursing
- Talking about sex openly (exception: unless it's dirty talk to me. not "I fucked this one guy and blah blah blah")
- No female friends / no friends / all male friends
- Openly atheist / hardcore feminist
- Has worked as a stripper or an escort
- Engages in male hobbies like jiu jitsu, Crossfit, etc. (what this means is those are the guys they want to fuck, and usually the ones at the top of the food chain).
- Makes negative comments about you when you're out. ("You should hold the door more." "That suit looks cheap." "I don't like it when you wear your work boots out." "You need to not be on your phone." I have an idea. How about you need to shut the fuck up?)
- Puts everything on Instagram, including "sexy" pictures and tons of selfies
- Only wants to do expensive shit and go to fancy restaurants. (No, we do not need to spend $200 every weekend on dinner; I'm much happier grilling hotdogs over a campfire. Sorry if that doesn't impress your Instagram followers.)
- Doesn't have a gym membership
- Eats like shit
- Very "protective" of her phone (i.e., it's always upside down, and on lockdown. Not that I care to inspect her phone or anything, but when she treats it like it's a top secret document, it means she's fucking 15 other dudes)

I'm pretty quick to write off girls with pretty much any of these red flags. The only exceptions are the gym membership (she can go to my gym), and male hobbies (some women like to come to BJJ with me and learn self defense.)
05-23-2018 02:27 PM
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Alpha_Romeo Offline
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Post: #304
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
^
This is a great list. On the protective with her phone part I would include sleeping with her phone as a red flag as well.
05-24-2018 12:39 AM
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Guitarhappy420 Offline
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Post: #305
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
Makes negative comments about you was a good one but I would extend that to include negative, snide, condescending remarks about other specific men, past boyfriends, or even men in general. Eventually she would get around to you if you show her you'll accept her put downs of other men. It's hard to find but I definitely prefer a woman who admires and appreciates men and expresses it in her spoken words.
05-24-2018 01:32 AM
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wonderman Offline
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Post: #306
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
My 1st date red flags (I am looking for ONS only), or signs which tell me she's probably not that interested in me:

- no (almost) kiss at the end of the date
- move back when I do the perfume test
- when the "who has bigger hands" test ends after 1 second
- when she suddenly creates topic b although you haven't finished topic a
- she never giggles
- your intuition tells you she is not interested in you the moment you say hello
- the goodbye procedure feels like it happened way to fast
- if she lets you know that she has a different opinion, all the time
- she will not let you get any closer to her (you will probably only realize it in hindsight)
05-24-2018 02:39 PM
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ulterior Offline
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Post: #307
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
So, a realization after reading through this entire thread and reflecting on my own experiences:

chance to be a white knight = red flag

Early in a recent mini-LTR, my girl had a nervous breakdown in a coffee shop because she saw an abusive guy from her past. We literally had to change seats and go upstairs to avoid her being seen. She got quiet, docile, brittle. It felt good in the moment, like I was protecting her and being the “good one” saving maledom from malefactors like him.

Fast-forward four months when I broke things off, and she flipped out to reveal the conniving, desperate, manipulative, terrible bitch she had been hiding. Hounded me relentlessly for over a month with verbal abuse, ad hominem attacks, character aspersions, despite my always having been a gentleman toward her.

When a girl gives you the chance to be The Good One, run hard, run fast.
05-25-2018 03:19 AM
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tobehero Away
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Post: #308
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
Constantly looking at her phone even if you say it's rude.
More concerned with taking selfies in the bar, what she's drinking.
05-25-2018 05:51 AM
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[email protected] Offline
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Post: #309
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
I've combed over this thread and I wish I did earlier. Would have saved me a lot of money and time.

90% of LTR red flags fall into the following categories:

- attention whoring behaviour
- non-compliant behaviour
- high T behaviour (notch count)

These are not mutually exclusive behaviours. The best predictor of failure in LTR outside of notch count is non-compliant behaviour. It goes beyond simply not listening or doing what you tell her. It also means she doesn't listen to other people/authorities. Short hair, tattoos, piercings, drugs, immoral behaviours are all things people have told her NOT to do, she didn't comply.

What's disheartening is that this eliminates 50-70% of LTRs that are 7 and above. Most of us will ignore or forgive obvious red flags when we see them because hot women are few and far between. I know I did. It's only after I got cheated on I realised how important red flags are and cut my losses early.
05-25-2018 03:17 PM
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Palo_alto Offline
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Post: #310
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
Biggest red flag: Gut feeling

The harder you practice, the luckier you get.
05-25-2018 03:21 PM
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ulterior Offline
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Post: #311
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
This.

We should all bear in mind that when we experienced each of these red flag behaviors, something didn’t seem right. We were just pussy-struck in the moment.
(This post was last modified: 05-25-2018 05:29 PM by ulterior.)
05-25-2018 05:29 PM
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Batman_ Offline
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Post: #312
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
-has kids
-religious
-into astrology
-no sense of humor
-majority of her friends are guys
-SJW/intersectional feminist (obvious one)
(This post was last modified: 05-25-2018 10:59 PM by Batman_.)
05-25-2018 10:56 PM
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Donfitz007 Online
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Post: #313
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
entitlement.....which 99% of women suffer from so my main red flag is pretty much unavoidable
05-26-2018 11:46 AM
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jcardial Offline
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Post: #314
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
Women with male friends:
Whether it's a red or yellow flag probably depends a lot on the nature of her interests and specific friends. Quite a few of the smartest and most drama free women I've known over the years have had friend groups polarized at least somewhat towards men. Intelligent women grow tired of drama, gossip and backstabbing and they over time realize men tend to be the opposite. Also if they happen to be interested in a more technical field like finance or engineering it kind of comes with the territory.

Motives for male friends:
Whether it's a yellow or red flag clearly comes down to the kind of guys she's friends with and her motives. Every guy who is either a work or school nerd is pretty inert as a threat and probably a better influence than an average female friend (especially in a Western country). Since goofy orbiter guys rarely ever get laid and don't party that hard it's not like promiscuous or wild behavior is rubbing off on her like it does when female friends constantly boast bout their recent fling. If her friends are degenerates it's bad regardless of their gender but it's arguably worse if they're female. If she prefers to be around men due to an insatiable need for male attention it's an entirely different beast.

Band of sluts:
I was around a London apartment for a few months that consisted of four single girls of various Euro nationalities and they basically fed off each other's bad habits and seemingly got progressively sluttier as they condoned one another's whorish behavior. There is probably a slippery slope of sluttyness, but I think these girls who have a big group of male and/or female friends in a smaller city are forced to care a lot more about their reputation than some band of sluts in a major metropolitan area who religiously watch every episode of Girls and Sex and the City together.

Tentative conclusions:
If you get along with her dude friends you can in theory just hang out with them whenever she does and if they're relatively cool it's a win win. If she is treating them like brothers or coworkers and not being flirtatious it's probably innocuous. If on the other hand she is seeing these guys furtively on her own or partying with them regularly and getting flirty, it's probably a red flag for daddy issues, promiscuity, or low self esteem.
(This post was last modified: 05-26-2018 12:10 PM by jcardial.)
05-26-2018 12:08 PM
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[email protected] Offline
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Post: #315
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
I think male friends are always going to be a problem especially if some of them are high value. Also women don't like social conflict and tend to keep their ex's as friends so they can break them out in case of an emergency. this happened to me after I had a fight with a girl I was seeing as an LTR and she started messaging her ex from 2 years ago and got back with him within days. It's just so easy now and you can't stop a girl from having these options lying around her.
05-27-2018 07:57 AM
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Donfitz007 Online
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Post: #316
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
Yeah it's easy for a girl to find their exes or ex fwb, and then contact them via text, snap, IG, or if they're desperate facebook.

VERY VERY VERY Few girls are ever lonely for more than a night.
05-27-2018 11:07 AM
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Supreme4ever Offline
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Post: #317
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
Who cares about red flags when you're just trying to bang. If you swallowed the red pill the sensitivities of a soap opera emotions are out the window... Some guys can be worse than women sometimes.
06-01-2018 08:57 PM
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Easy_C Offline
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Post: #318
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
If I had to pick just one, it's attention whoring in any way shape or form.
06-01-2018 09:06 PM
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Банин Offline
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Post: #319
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
Firstly, I can’t believe that you guys are filtering this much for notches. If she passes the boner test, she’s down for some plowing, and I don’t care if she was abused by her father, goes on meds, has piercings and loads of alpha male friends. Usually the crazy ones are the best in bed anyways.

For LTRs, I understand that many people would be trying to filter with red flags, but my personal experience has shown me that the most dangerous females are the true black widows, the ones that really don’t give you a warning. No amount of cautiousness will ever protect you from these. Which has taught me to never ever get involved with a girl if you aren’t ready to dump her unaffected at any time, or to pay the price (emotional, social, etc) like it was worth it.

Example: I dated this 9 once. She had this amazing little tight pussy, was basically a nympho and jumped on me 4/5 times a day. Needless to say, she was also a manipulative and bipolar nutcase. In the end i became entangled, lost emotional control (ie started caring for her) which she tried to leverage, and eventually she dumped me. It was early on so I took it a bit hard, but looking back on it I can’t ever regret it. Her sexual appetite at that early stage in my development helped me become what I am now.

Example 2: my buddy was dating this woman who on paper was GF material. She never was attention-whoring, did not have insta though she was a stunner, was submissive to him and generally an all-round nice girl. He’s a strong alpha and for him it was just one more conquest, until he started getting involved emotionally. After that point she basically exploited him as long as he would allow, financially, practically and socially. When he started pulling back she ghosted him and moved on to another alpha higher up the food chain. Anyways, that girl was screened and re-screened by my buddy, I even weighed in on it after having met her and gave her green light. Nothing in her behavior was a red flag, but she turned out to be one hell of a manipulative bitch.

My point is, as much as we might like the idea to screen our prospects and protect ourselvea, my impression is that it doesn’t work. Some girls might give off red flags early on but still give you an overall positive experience, while some girls will go under your radar and you won’t notice until it’s too late. I just tend to follow my dick, and deal with the fallout when it happens :/
(This post was last modified: 06-02-2018 03:40 AM by Банин.)
06-02-2018 03:32 AM
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jcardial Offline
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Post: #320
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
@Банин

The majority of red flags mentioned are reliable tells that there are likely big problems in store. Of course you can't view any one thing completely in a vacuum.

If you're paying attention, people often give away big clues about their personality and behavior within minutes or seconds of talking to them. The guys who consistently end up with problematic women are very often oblivious to the warning signs or are foolhardy enough to try and repair her damage.
06-02-2018 04:16 AM
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Банин Offline
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Post: #321
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
@jcardial

Or maybe they just get attracted to the damage?
I’m not saying that the girl won’t give cues, obviously they do, and the entire flirting process, you’re unconsciously processing this in your attraction level. But I think that filtering girls with these red flags is a bit misleading. Half the time I will only find out if I want something more than a ONS with a girl after i’ve banged her. And her cues and flags from early on will play a role in that decision of course, but in the initial stage i’m just following the boner test.
Now that may not be the smartest thing to do, but I’d rather get the notch and move on, than starting to filter and overanalyze when i’ve only just met her. I suppose with age i’ve become more emotionally immune, so I can afford to do it without risking much.
06-02-2018 04:33 AM
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Donfitz007 Online
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Post: #322
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
(06-02-2018 03:32 AM)Банин Wrote:  Firstly, I can’t believe that you guys are filtering this much for notches. If she passes the boner test, she’s down for some plowing, and I don’t care if she was abused by her father, goes on meds, has piercings and loads of alpha male friends. Usually the crazy ones are the best in bed anyways.

For LTRs, I understand that many people would be trying to filter with red flags, but my personal experience has shown me that the most dangerous females are the true black widows, the ones that really don’t give you a warning. No amount of cautiousness will ever protect you from these. Which has taught me to never ever get involved with a girl if you aren’t ready to dump her unaffected at any time, or to pay the price (emotional, social, etc) like it was worth it.

My point is, as much as we might like the idea to screen our prospects and protect ourselvea, my impression is that it doesn’t work. Some girls might give off red flags early on but still give you an overall positive experience, while some girls will go under your radar and you won’t notice until it’s too late. I just tend to follow my dick, and deal with the fallout when it happens :/

The best sex i had of my life came from the crazy girl that i wrote about on here before

And this nympho, bipolar, always depressed, selfish (but thinks she cares for everybody) gothic SJW. WHo doesn't hate the world but hates herself to the point of self-mutilation. BY FAR THE BEST SEX OF MY LIFE but hated her



The point is, yes the sex was great but sometimes these red flags are too much to handle so we'll rather miss out on a good thing to avoid a worse thing.

If you did your research and everything warned you NOT to explore a desert. Then it's not smart to explore it suffer and finally find an oasis.
06-02-2018 08:54 AM
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Jack Hughes Offline
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Post: #323
RE: What are your biggest red flags?
For me the one red flag that has never served me wrong is when a girl has an intense obsession with astrology/tarots/pseudoscience.

While it is someone normal for a girl to know a lot about astrology, if she's an expert in any of these wack-job sciences then she may very well be a wack-job herself.
06-05-2018 04:05 PM
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