Post: #1

When I initially message a woman, I ask her a simple question like “ketchup or mustard?” or “do you like cereal with or without milk”? This has worked a lot better than tailoring each message to a woman’s profile because I’ve found that women care more about your pics and profile rather than the content of your message. I get lots of profile views, but I only get a 10% response rate.

After their response, I talk about random stuff like asking about their quirks, asking if they have a special talent etc. If they give me a witty response, I’ll banter with them, but I’ve found that it’s very rare for women to banter; they usually give pretty basic responses even if they’re enthusiastic. After that, I try to build comfort (i.e. getting to know them as a person) by asking them what they do for work, where they live and what they do on the weekends.

I feel like I’m being very boring and that they think I’m like every other guy who messages them.

What kinds of things should I talk about before trying to build comfort? And what should I talk about when I try to build comfort? I’m having lots of trouble with this.

Do you ask for her number after building comfort? Or do you ask for her number before building comfort and build comfort over the phone (I prefer to talk on the phone before actually meeting up with her)? Basically, what do you talk about on okcupid, what do you talk about over the phone and what do you talk about on the actual date?

What do you do when you make a witty comment but the woman doesn’t make a witty comment back? Is it a dead end if you can’t banter? How should you talk to the woman if you can’t banter? A lot of women who I contact don’t banter and give basic responses, but some of them are enthusiastic.

Also, if the woman doesn’t ask a question at the end of her response (in an effort to continue the conversation), does it mean that she isn’t interested? Or should you keep the conversation going anyway? What is the best way to do that?

Post: #2

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Post: #3

I only used OKC for a couple weeks, and landed one meet up off of it. After talking to the girl, she told me about how many messages she received daily on OKC and I realized that it's very much a market that favors the women. This girl was a generous 6 or so, so nothing special. I deleted my account after I got bored of spamming 50 girls to only get a few responses from mediocre girls.

Anyways, it sounds like you're doing a lot right, a 10% response rate is pretty good in my opinion. I would try to get the number as soon as possible if I were you after opening. You're competing with every other guy on OKC, so if you hesitate she will forget about you. Have a little bit of back and forth, and then get those digits ASAP. Then make plans accordingly using her #. If she doesn't give you her number, it's likely that she is just there for validation and attention whoring.

Post: #4

Let's lump OKC and POF into the same camp. I would really like to know if generic messages actually work, because I've tried delicioustacos ones with mixed results. It seems consistent ones that work involve using something they wrote in the profile. I didn't think chicks were smart enough to screen out people by spotting cut-n-paste messages.

Post: #5

(12-12-2014 06:00 PM)DJ-Matt Wrote:  Let's lump OKC and POF into the same camp. I would really like to know if generic messages actually work, because I've tried delicioustacos ones with mixed results. It seems consistent ones that work involve using something they wrote in the profile. I didn't think chicks were smart enough to screen out people by spotting cut-n-paste messages.

I exclusively copy and paste. That said, I write my own openers to fit my personality. Delicious Tacos' messages are great, but you need to find your own voice.

In my experience, a copy and paste that tells a story date is the best. And try to keep it around 2-3 sentences.

Post: #6

I keep it generic but then add in 1 or 2 things that shows that I read their profile. Like if it says they are new in town I asked where they moved from, stuff like that. If their profile says nothing that I can ask about I don't even bother. Keep it at a paragraph max. I usually start out with "I read your profile and you seem really interesting" then state 2 sentences that show I took the time to at least glance at their profile. Then I close with, "I don't want to write you a novel in my first message so hit me back if you are interested." 10% response rate is probably about the best you can expect unless you look like a model. Also when you sort make sure you choose only to see users that have logged in during the last week, otherwise you could be wasting your time. Finally I know it sounds stupid but be cognizant when you answer the survey questions. Believe it or not, women actually take time to read the shit. I had a few girls tell me they weren't interested because of how I answered a question.