Post: #1

So I met the girl at work, we chitchat like 5 minutes, what she does she didnt like she wanted to change what did she want to do. hmm, i was notciing no ask back from her then she did ask somethign however intangible but i explained a bit. we exchanged names and i looked her up

so i wrote this email...

[color]It was nice talking with you this morning. How has your day been?
We should have lunch Thursday. There is a Thai place down the street from here and the weather promises to be nice.[/color]

she waited till the day off and replied...

Sorry for the late reply.
Unfortunately i will not be able to have lunch today - it is cold and rainy


Is this a lost cause. this was b4 lunch. i went to lunch with another. i was going to reply with something that sounds like well just wanted u as a "friend" but then i might as well not bother (as advised by a female friend)

Post: #2

If this was a first I wouldn't give up entirely. The are a couple of things though. What did you mean by you looked her up? She just gave you a name (no number or email) and you tracked her down? If you did that could have been a creepy thing to do so you might want to clarify that.

Secondly, I think you went after it too early with an email. If you're not going to invite her out face-to-face then don't send an email the same freaking day. Another thing the email seems so mundane if I were her there's nothing in it that takes me back to the time that would make me feel like it was a good, memorable, experience. If she didn't give you a number or email maybe she didn't want to hear from you again.

Thirdly, she didn't counter propose in her response. The way I read it is "No. I'm not interested." The fact that she bothered to take the time to respond could be an indication of something. Unless she's worried that "I have to see this guy again" kind of thing and didn't want to hurt your feelings or come off as a bitch. In any event, maybe run into her again later down the road. Make the encounter memorable to her then wait at least a few days and try again.

Don't take advice from women! No question about that at all. Stop listening to your female friend because you'll never get laid taking her advice. I'm sensing in your writing that you're a very Beta, soft to the core, kind of guy. You're asking a woman for dating advice which I believe is a typical Beta trait. And they basically have no clue how to look at dating from the opposing view point and generally are the ones that fall prey to the trappings of a PUA.

Post: #3

1. I did realize it was a bit too early. woulda gone face to face, but at the time...
2. I looked her up, work directory. sort of a cuilture here
3. i take all lack of counter proposal as a lack of interest.
4. we can hardly run into each other. its either i have something to do in her dept which is like never.
5. yes i am beta cant seem to out run it and dont know how, but in this case i didnt so much as ker advice but told her what happened.
6. i didnt ask for her number, itwas a quick conversation

Post: #4

May want to start with girls outside of work.

Post: #5

Ouch, a chick at work. I think office game is to be handled much differently than out of office game because this girl is thinking that she quite possibly has to work with you and see your face again if things go south. It creates a very uncomfortable position for her. Not to mention I'm sure you're not the only guy at work that had the bright idea to ask her out on a date via email. Be different from those guys and be original. Also, women can tend to be different in the office because they could be an environment where they feel like their gender holds them back. So they feel they have to be more competative and that generally means being less open to advances in the work place.

Of all the people I can think of that have hooked up in my office I can almost say with absolute certainty that there was some kind of engagement outside of work that happened first. Whether it was at the company softball game, or just a get together of peers at a bar somewhere. Maybe there's a small chance she could have a shred of interest, but if her professional life is important to her she's not going to sacrafice it on a whim. It would require something more and usually that would mean developing rapport outside of work.

I think the best thing to do here is to just let it go. Don't send her anymore emails, don't look for her in the office, don't track her down during lunch, just leave it be. However, do make yourself available to activities outside of work that she may be a part of. Look for those opportunities and start building your rapport. But for everyone's sake don't let it drag out for months either. After a couple of gratutious encounters and hopefully after having worked your game make the move.

There are those instances where the stars align and the hot chick would love nothing better to do than to jump your bones, but in reality those opportunities are few. Instead play the odds by playing the game right and improve your chances overall.

Post: #6

why should she go to lunch with you if you had a low quality interaction? - How have you shown your interest in her? DO you want her to make the first move ? Have you risked anythign at all? It seems like you're playing it safe off a very low quality interaction, so no surprises there.