Post: #1

Hey guys,

I wanted to hear other people's opinion on this. I am an instinct driven person for better and worse. I normally listen to my gut and go with the flow.

However, sometimes I get this sense that people do not like me in certain social situations. Now we obviously preach to not give a f*ck haters gonna hate, but still i'd rather not waste my time on useless people.

This was most prevalent in college. It felt like the other person knew stuff about me and was acting disingenuous. I always thought this was me projecting.

And now again quite recently, I had this feeling again with a church group. It was this gut feeling that I wasn't meshing well with the group even though no one said anything to my face. I had a few inklings from hearsay that people thought x,y,z about me but nothing ever substantial nor was it bad. I tried to get some volunteer stuff going and I had pushback and was eventually told they wanted to take it in another direction. I ended up leaving the group.

Is this me projecting insecurity or what? This never happens at work or the gym for that matter.

Post: #2

These instinctual feelings are extremely dependable, in my experience. I've learned to trust my gut a lot more over the years, especially if my instincts tell me that something is off with someone.

Reading vibes is also very powerful with women. It's amazing what you can pick up from someone you haven't even talked to yet from all the way across the room, and that can increase your odds of pursuing the right girl by a long-shot. You can almost pick a woman up purely through eye contact if you're grooving in this zone. Our body language, expressions, and chemistry dictate a lot more than we realize. Think about the way you always notice when someone notices you, and it's not always clear to your conscious mind why you know.

On the other hand, it's crazy how many times I've had the feeling a woman was lying for no reason at all and then dug in a little deeper to find out the feeling was right.

I know when people are talking shit about me. I know when someone doesn't believe what I'm saying or when they don't take me seriously. Or on the other hand, when someone respects me, looks up to me, or wants to suck my cock.

One thing to keep in mind is that people's minds can be changed, and they can warm up to you. Just because you don't fit in with a group or someone doesn't like you initially doesn't mean it'll stay that way. In fact, I often go out of my way to break the ice with people who give off a cold vibe - or have a conversation with them if we're around each other a lot and they're distancing themselves. It kind of seems to stun them at first, but it can also be very disarming. Often, the problem is them rather than you, and they aren't used to people stepping right over their walls.

This trick comes in real handy if you go out at night a lot in places with shady people around - keep your enemies close, as they say. Better to be on friendly, non-supplicating terms with all the dudes scowling around the bar looking for a fight than be the guy they're sizing up. It's easier to demonize one another if you never share a moment of humanity or manly respect.

Your instincts can save you from a sucker-punch too. I remember one time I got a weird vibe from a guy within 5 minutes of being in a bar. I decide to leave instead of ordering a drink, and as I walked out the door, the sound of it swinging shut behind me sounded a bit off. I turned around in a duck and just missed the opportunity to take a haymaker to the back of my skull by this big bastard. If I hadn't trusted my gut to begin with, I wouldn't have been on the alert and probably would have gotten laid out. He wasn't doing anything too obvious in the bar though - something just felt wrong.

I ended up befriending that guy later on, believe it or not. He was a few misfiring neurons away from a maniac, and even after we were friends I had to put to step up to him a few times to retain his respect, but he was a good guy to have on my side when out and about.

Certain people are just worth avoiding at all costs though. Those ones are usually the most obvious, gut-wise. Those types are typically on drugs, crazy, sociopathic, or all of the above.

We are men, but we are animals. Your instincts are powerful if you learn to trust them.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Rudyard Kipling

Post: #3

Could it be that people that are not like your ownself a turnoff and you struggle to deal with them? Reminds me of this thread you made: /thread-40327-...29367.html

In that sense, are you projecting?

Sometimes iNtuitive people have to learn how to relax and stop trying to anticipate everything around them. Not everything needs to have a higher meaning or serve some grand purpose. Realize that for many people the mundane things around them will always amuse them in ways a guy like you who hangs out with philosophical people everyday (RVF people), and you if you are not careful you will find yourself unable to fit into everyday life like Nietzsche wound up.

It's no secret that the modern day Church is just as feminist driven and blue pill as the rest of society. Elements you saw in that group may have turned you off. Such as effeminate leadership, or literally anything not following 1 Timothy.

If it is none of those things. Have you ever tried to figure out if you are clairvoyant to any degree? Any of these vibes actually come out true like you felt before it happened?

Post: #4

(11-12-2014 08:25 AM)frenchie Wrote:  Hey guys,

I wanted to hear other people's opinion on this. I am an instinct driven person for better and worse. I normally listen to my gut and go with the flow.

However, sometimes I get this sense that people do not like me in certain social situations. Now we obviously preach to not give a f*ck haters gonna hate, but still i'd rather not waste my time on useless people.

This was most prevalent in college. It felt like the other person knew stuff about me and was acting disingenuous. I always thought this was me projecting.

And now again quite recently, I had this feeling again with a church group. It was this gut feeling that I wasn't meshing well with the group even though no one said anything to my face. I had a few inklings from hearsay that people thought x,y,z about me but nothing ever substantial nor was it bad. I tried to get some volunteer stuff going and I had pushback and was eventually told they wanted to take it in another direction. I ended up leaving the group.

Is this me projecting insecurity or what? This never happens at work or the gym for that matter.

You are probably reading the situation correctly but I would advise acting differently and use the situation to practice your social group dynamics.

I tend to 'take over' any group that I'm in, which works well in work environment because I speak up, identify the tasks, ask who's going to get it done. It keeps things marching along. In a more social setting, especially with women or women-like men sometimes they just want to talk to feel important and resent someone taking a "ok, shut up unless you are moving the group forward" approach.

Church has been a good practice space for me to manage this because:
1. You're never going to be kicked out of the group
2. Because everyone has to be on their 'best' behavior, silent politics and chick like behavior are stronger.
3. People are continually joining the group and are a roll of the dice in terms of personality. You can recruit these people to your cause as they come in.

Don't bail on the group, just sit back and observe for a while.

Post: #5

You're reading the situation correctly according to your own perceptions of the situation. However, your hard-wired (ie neurons formed at a young age) might be seeing threats where none are present.

This isn't a question us here at the forum could really answer for sure. Even people who grew up in toxic environments respond to situations intuitively, it's just not always a logic response.

I feel hyper sensitivity is usually is a result of a toxic household caused by the dad. It can result from alcoholic or abusive dad (could be mom too). I wouldn't limit it to that though. I know I still struggle with what you're talking about coupled with some insecurities. Mine was simply due to toxic shaming in the name of God (Christianity).

I don't know your situation. For all we know you're reading these situations correctly. I just feel it's beyond the scope of an online forum (yes, even RVF).

Post: #6

(11-12-2014 09:29 AM)heavy Wrote:  You're reading the situation correctly according to your own perceptions of the situation. However, your hard-wired (ie neurons formed at a young age) might be seeing threats where none are present.

This isn't a question us here at the forum could really answer for sure. Even people who grew up in toxic environments respond to situations intuitively, it's just not always a logic response.

I feel hyper sensitivity is usually is a result of a toxic household caused by the dad. It can result from alcoholic or abusive dad (could be mom too). I wouldn't limit it to that though. I know I still struggle with what you're talking about coupled with some insecurities. Mine was simply due to toxic shaming in the name of God (Christianity).

I don't know your situation. For all we know you're reading these situations correctly. I just feel it's beyond the scope of an online forum (yes, even RVF).

^^^^^

I am down with the above. Very perceptive comment. It seems like you're reading negativity into situations where people are neutral. Most people in life aren't judging 24/7 and, in fact, are looking for acceptance themselves.

If you're feeling negative where there probably is none, you'd should try and do something about it. There were countless situations I read as negative when I was younger, but as decades passed I found out the people involved didn't view me negatively at all. I had viewed it all with a jaundiced perspective. As such, I missed a lot of opportunities.

Examples: Girl asks me out -- but I assumed it's to make her ex jealous. Years later she's like "What WAS your problem?" Decades later I got the ultimate freelance writing gig, but didn't pitch too much because I felt like the editor's crew was cliquish. A year later, they called and said "Why don't you participate more? We'd be happy to run your articles several times a week, not just once a month." In other words, I lost out on thousands of dollars because I assumed I was being "tolerated" not liked. Live and learn!

Post: #7

(11-12-2014 10:04 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  ...Most people in life aren't judging 24/7 and, in fact, are looking for acceptance themselves.

Yep, many people are feeling the same as you.

Quote:If you're feeling negative where there probably is none, you'd should try and do something about.

eg reach out to someone here who seems legit, or see a good psychologist (marriage/divorce + psych helped me a ton).

Quote:Examples: Girl asks me out -- but I assumed it's to make her ex jealous. Years later she's like "What WAS your problem?" Decades later I got the ultimate freelance writing gig, but didn't pitch too much because I felt like the editor's crew was cliquish. A year later, they called and said "Why don't you participate more? We'd be happy to run your articles several times a week, not just once a month." In other words, I lost out on thousands of dollars because I assumed I was being "tolerated" not liked. Live and learn!

Good examples here. Understand, both DOBA and I are suspecting you may be over-sensitive. We could be wrong.

Post: #8

How long have you been going to that church? What volunteer stuff did you want to do? What was the group?

Post: #9

There are a lot of posts so I'll try and reply to them all. The first one should paint a clearer picture of what happened:

(11-12-2014 10:49 AM)TheWastelander Wrote:  How long have you been going to that church? What volunteer stuff did you want to do? What was the group?

I've been going for two years and earlier this year became a "full" member. Initially I helped run their sound and taught them how to use the grouping function on the board. Before I became a member I wanted to sing with the praise band since I'm a trained singer. At the time I wasn't a member and got the "Sure lets work it in, send me an email!" sent an email and never heard back. Did it three times over three weeks never heard anything back. I gave up and then it hit me that maybe i should become a member. So I became a member.

When I became a member earlier this year it was when I was in a bad place from a bad breakup with a live in girlfriend (also posted on this forum ). I wrote the whole experience in my testimony with the disclaimer that what I went through wasn't pretty. In it I wrote about some of the hard red pill lessons we all know about here on this forum and tied it into what I remember from scripture. The head pastor decided to withhold my membership until he had time for "discipleship" which honestly was really embarrassing and at the same time really helpful. I re-read the new and old testament and he really helped me fire up the spiritual side of which was dead at that point. There's a sort of feeling of "being saved" which honestly is just me feeling normal again and able to feel emotions in a relationship.

I figured being honest about my life during the whole membership process was what caused this.

Fast forward to day, I wanted to host a bible study at my house, cook dinner for them all, and have another more senior member "lead" the group so to speak. I used to go to another group, but being carless makes travel around town more difficult unless I want to take public transit. A friend of mine told me to talk to the more senior member about hosting it in my neighborhood.

I contacted him. We met and discussed Jesus stuff He loved my apartment and felt that we would make a great dynamic for the group.

We initially planned to start a week later. I got a text from him saying that since the head pastor was traveling so we'll have to wait another week. Ok cool. The next week, I contacted the senior member again and he said it'll have to wait another week.

One more week passes and the associate pastor who helps organize these things told my friend that they're going to shelve starting a study in my neighborhood indefinitely. Mind you during these past three weeks, the head pastor is pushing during his sermons about starting these groups in people's houses since the church grew a lot since september. If you're familiar with Boston, Allston is a very dense neighborhood and is the only place unrepresented with a study.

I ended up giving up and went back to running sound which by the way any two bit monkey can do now that I showed them how to run the groups. Four buttons need to be touched. I felt underutilized and decided to visit another church which was the same denomination of my home church growing up.

(11-12-2014 09:04 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:  If it is none of those things. Have you ever tried to figure out if you are clairvoyant to any degree? Any of these vibes actually come out true like you felt before it happened?

As much as I take my intuitive insights with a heaping helping of Morton's Salt, I have had a ton of clairvoyant "visions" if you will that affect my life directly which came true.

Off the top of my head without getting too personal, I was driving along a boulevard that runs parallel to a side street for parking. I was planning on making a right turn to get to my gym. I saw a car in the side of my vision and immediately something said to me, "she's going to run the stop sign". So instead of clearing the intersection immediately, I slowed down and sure enough the car blasted right through the stop sign as I sat on the horn. I would have been t-boned if I had went into the intersection.

I have a lot more of these that will fill up a ton of posts. So it's hard for me to just "swallow" what my gut is telling me. I end up getting nervous and shut down which is what happened with this group.

(11-12-2014 09:18 AM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  You are probably reading the situation correctly but I would advise acting differently and use the situation to practice your social group dynamics.

I tend to 'take over' any group that I'm in, which works well in work environment because I speak up, identify the tasks, ask who's going to get it done. It keeps things marching along. In a more social setting, especially with women or women-like men sometimes they just want to talk to feel important and resent someone taking a "ok, shut up unless you are moving the group forward" approach.

Church has been a good practice space for me to manage this because:
1. You're never going to be kicked out of the group
2. Because everyone has to be on their 'best' behavior, silent politics and chick like behavior are stronger.
3. People are continually joining the group and are a roll of the dice in terms of personality. You can recruit these people to your cause as they come in.

Don't bail on the group, just sit back and observe for a while.

Ha! You sound like me Doc. I do the same thing. I don't really care to "lead" a group, but I'll take up the reigns if people are dragging their feet. I've done that a lot during set up and break down. Not surprisingly, I could tell people were not thrilled with me strong arming the band during set up. Hey if you're going to dilly dally when we go live in 30 minutes i'm going to start pushing especially when the guy who is supposed to be running it isn't getting the band ready for sound check.

I honestly just wanted to find my niche in this group which I have struggled to do so. I've been a passive participant for a long time and I'd like to devote more of my personal time to a group that really helped me through a dark spot. Just showing up isn't enough for me. The worst part was there were people who I know for a fact enjoyed debating with me and respected my perspective. So while not everyone is giving me these vibes, the ones I am getting this feeling from are the power brokers of the group (head pastors).

Side note, not too long ago apparently some guy was "excommunicated" for some weird stuff. He was supposedly an intense individual like myself from what my one friend said. I was getting the impression that this guy pissed in the well and I'm paying the piper for it.

There is a shining light on all of this that I left out. A few weeks ago after being fed up with the group I went to another church that is the same denomination of my home church growing up. I came in before the service and was greeted by the pastor before the service started while I was sitting in a pew. After the first hymn finished and he came up to me again and asked me if I would like to join the choir . I met with the organist and a week later I was in the choir. Still not a member yet, but hell I freaking missed being apart of a choir. It's nice to be singing again.

Obviously I shouldn't expect others to just place me in a niche. I need to find and make it for myself. However this was just too easy and I don't feel like an outsider with these people.

The posts here are great and are really helping gents. I appreciate the insights.

Post: #10

(11-12-2014 11:33 AM)frenchie Wrote:  There are a lot of posts so I'll try and reply to them all. The first one should paint a clearer picture of what happened:

(11-12-2014 10:49 AM)TheWastelander Wrote:  How long have you been going to that church? What volunteer stuff did you want to do? What was the group?

I've been going for two years and earlier this year became a "full" member. Initially I helped run their sound and taught them how to use the grouping function on the board. Before I became a member I wanted to sing with the praise band since I'm a trained singer. At the time I wasn't a member and got the "Sure lets work it in, send me an email!" sent an email and never heard back. Did it three times over three weeks never hearing back and figured maybe i should become a member. So I became a member.

When I became a member earlier this year it was when I was in a bad place from a bad breakup with a live in girlfriend (also posted on this forum ). I wrote the whole experience in my testimony with the disclaimer that what I went through wasn't pretty. In it I wrote about some of the hard red pill lessons we all know about here on this forum and tied it into what I remember from scripture. The head pastor decided to withhold my membership until he had time for "discipleship" which honestly was really embarrassing and at the same time really helpful. I re-read the new and old testament and he really helped me fire up the spiritual side of which was dead at that point. There's a sort of feeling of "being saved" which honestly is just me feeling normal again and able to feel emotions in a relationship.

I figured being honest about my life during the whole membership process was what caused this.

Fast forward to day, I wanted to host a bible study at my house, cook dinner for them all, and have another more senior member "lead" the group so to speak. I used to go to another group, but being carless makes travel around town more difficult unless I want to take public transit. A friend of mine told me to talk to the more senior member about hosting it in my neighborhood.

I contacted him. We met and discussed Jesus stuff He loved my apartment and felt that we would make a great dynamic for the group.

We initially planned to start a week later. I got a text from him saying that since the head pastor was traveling so we'll have to wait another week. Ok cool. The next week, I contacted the senior member again and he said it'll have to wait another week.

One more week passes and the associate pastor who helps organize these things told my friend that they're going to shelve starting a study in my neighborhood indefinitely. Mind you during these past three weeks, the head pastor is pushing during his sermons about starting these groups in people's houses since the church grew a lot since september. If you're familiar with Boston, Allston is a very dense neighborhood and is the only place unrepresented with a study.

I ended up giving up and went back to running sound which by the way any two bit monkey can do now that I showed them how to run the groups. Four buttons need to be touched. I felt underutilized and decided to visit another church which was the same denomination of my home church growing up.

(11-12-2014 09:04 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:  If it is none of those things. Have you ever tried to figure out if you are clairvoyant to any degree? Any of these vibes actually come out true like you felt before it happened?

As much as I take my intuitive insights with a heaping helping of Morton's Salt, I have had a ton of clairvoyant "visions" if you will that affect my life directly which came true.

Off the top of my head without getting too personal, I was driving along a boulevard that runs parallel to a side street for parking. I was planning on making a right turn to get to my gym. I saw a car in the side of my vision and immediately something said to me, "she's going to run the stop sign". So instead of clearing the intersection immediately, I slowed down and sure enough the car blasted right through the stop sign as I sat on the horn. I would have been t-boned if I had went into the intersection.

I have a lot more of these that will fill up a ton of posts. So it's hard for me to just "swallow" what my gut is telling me. I end up getting nervous and shut down which is what happened with this group.

(11-12-2014 09:18 AM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  You are probably reading the situation correctly but I would advise acting differently and use the situation to practice your social group dynamics.

I tend to 'take over' any group that I'm in, which works well in work environment because I speak up, identify the tasks, ask who's going to get it done. It keeps things marching along. In a more social setting, especially with women or women-like men sometimes they just want to talk to feel important and resent someone taking a "ok, shut up unless you are moving the group forward" approach.

Church has been a good practice space for me to manage this because:
1. You're never going to be kicked out of the group
2. Because everyone has to be on their 'best' behavior, silent politics and chick like behavior are stronger.
3. People are continually joining the group and are a roll of the dice in terms of personality. You can recruit these people to your cause as they come in.

Don't bail on the group, just sit back and observe for a while.

Ha! You sound like me Doc. I do the same thing. I don't really care to "lead" a group, but I'll take up the reigns if people are dragging their feet. I've done that a lot during set up and break down. Not surprisingly, I could tell people were not thrilled with me strong arming the band during set up. Hey if you're going to dilly dally when we go live in 30 minutes i'm going to start pushing especially when the guy who is supposed to be running it isn't getting the band ready for sound check.

I honestly just wanted to find my niche in this group which I have struggled to do so. I've been a passive participant for a long time and I'd like to devote more of my personal time to a group that really helped me through a dark spot. Just showing up isn't enough for me. The worst part was there were people who I know for a fact enjoyed debating with me and respected my perspective. So while not everyone is giving me these vibes, the ones I am getting this feeling from are the power brokers of the group (head pastors).

Side note, not too long ago apparently some guy was "excommunicated" for some weird stuff. He was supposedly an intense individual like myself from what my one friend said. I was getting the impression that this guy pissed in the well and I'm paying the piper for it.

There is a shining light on all of this that I left out. A few weeks ago after being fed up with the group I went to another church that is the same denomination of my home church growing up. I came in before the service and was greeted by the pastor before the service started while I was sitting in a pew. After the first hymn finished and he came up to me again and asked me if I would like to join the choir . I met with the organist and a week later I was in the choir. Still not a member yet, but hell I freaking missed being apart of a choir. It's nice to be singing again.

Obviously I shouldn't expect others to just place me in a niche. I need to find and make it for myself. However this was just too easy and I don't feel like an outsider with these people.

So who the hell knows whether or not my gut is correct or not.

This is gonna sound bad, but I'm automatically suspicious of any church that suddenly starts growing a lot. Is it one of those all positive all the time churches?

Churches where the pastors dish out hard truths usually aren't all that big.

Keep going to the church that appreciates you and wants you to do things like sing in the choir. Leave the other one behind.

Post: #11

I'll PM you some more info Frenchie, I've got some further insight.

Post: #12

(11-12-2014 11:47 AM)TheWastelander Wrote:  This is gonna sound bad, but I'm automatically suspicious of any church that suddenly starts growing a lot. Is it one of those all positive all the time churches?

Churches where the pastors dish out hard truths usually aren't all that big.

Keep going to the church that appreciates you and wants you to do things like sing in the choir. Leave the other one behind.

They aren't. In fact, in their membership they explicitly go and say that practicing homosexuals and women cannot perform certain things within the church citing Corinthians as their proof.

Thanks for the advice.

Post: #13

^^ Ha, maybe they're trying to make sure you aren't a gay.

Really tho, good bad or otherwise, sounds like they may actually be judging you.

Post: #14

They allow homosexuals to become members? What denomination is that church?

But yeah, go where you're appreciated. No point wasting time on a group that is ignoring you when you're making an effort to contribute. That's just nonsensical.

And if you do decide to join this new church (or any other church) there's no point in writing out some big testimony full of your opinions on life and stuff. Be honest but just keep it simple. "I was saved when I was X years old, have been doing X since then and recently X. I want to join this church because I like X, Y and Z about it."

I don't think the Lord cares about people's testimony all that much. He cares about them being saved and keeping his commandments to the best of their ability.

Post: #15

(11-12-2014 01:15 PM)TheWastelander Wrote:  They allow homosexuals to become members? What denomination is that church?

But yeah, go where you're appreciated. No point wasting time on a group that is ignoring you when you're making an effort to contribute. That's just nonsensical.

And if you do decide to join this new church (or any other church) there's no point in writing out some big testimony full of your opinions on life and stuff. Be honest but just keep it simple. "I was saved when I was X years old, have been doing X since then and recently X. I want to join this church because I like X, Y and Z about it."

I don't think the Lord cares about people's testimony all that much. He cares about them being saved and keeping his commandments to the best of their ability.

It's non-denominational, but the pastor went to a southern baptist seminary. I don't recall if they allow practicing homosexuals the right to become full members, regardless they do denounce the behavior.

Again thanks for your advice. I definitely won't be making the same mistake twice. So many feels hitting me on this.

Post: #16

I'm guessing it's a Fundamentalist church, even if it isn't Southern Baptist. Fundamentalists, or as my dad always refers to them, Fundies, are about as conservative as it gets...even if it's non-denom, the pastor has a conservative baptist background (did he go to Bob Jones?).

Based on your pastor's background, they're probably judging you. Again, up to you if that's what you're looking for, but they're gonna want you to be washed in the blood pure as the wind-driven snow.

Post: #17

(11-12-2014 03:32 PM)heavy Wrote:  I'm guessing it's a Fundamentalist church, even if it isn't Southern Baptist. Fundamentalists, or as my dad always refers to them, Fundies, are about as conservative as it gets...even if it's non-denom, the pastor has a conservative baptist background (did he go to Bob Jones?).

Based on your pastor's background, they're probably judging you. Again, up to you if that's what you're looking for, but they're gonna want you to be washed in the blood pure as the wind-driven snow.

He allows homosexuals in his church. How conservative could he really be?

Post: #18

(11-12-2014 03:37 PM)TheWastelander Wrote:  

(11-12-2014 03:32 PM)heavy Wrote:  I'm guessing it's a Fundamentalist church, even if it isn't Southern Baptist. Fundamentalists, or as my dad always refers to them, Fundies, are about as conservative as it gets...even if it's non-denom, the pastor has a conservative baptist background (did he go to Bob Jones?).

Based on your pastor's background, they're probably judging you. Again, up to you if that's what you're looking for, but they're gonna want you to be washed in the blood pure as the wind-driven snow.

He allows homosexuals in his church. How conservative could he really be?

Now I don't know that exactly as it has been awhile since I looked over the church rules and bylaws.

@heavy, yeah I knew they were fundamentalist going into it. It was really refreshing to have that level of traditionalism since I came out of the wanton world of progressivism. It was naive of me to think that just because they're devote individuals that it means that they'd be able to value ones past and experience in relation to the lessons one learns in scripture.

Sigh, I'm right back where I started. At least I have a new church that has a place for me. I won't make the same mistake twice.

Post: #19

My gut has been an accurate barometer to tell me when a woman is full of shit. An example is a girl I was banging for a while who was in college would sometimes go home on the weekends. She would text some, but I might text her on a Sunday morning around 10ish. She'd text back at say 2 or 2:30 something like "hello". That's it....freaking "hello" when normally her texts would be longer and warmer.

I just imagined her being in bed and as the guy she was banging got up to go to the bathroom....she had time to check her built up texts in her phone and quickly reply back. I suppressed that belief because she would return to town and keep banging me....though the pussy got drier and drier as her hamster was getting confused from her multiple weekly cock intake. Slut that she was...her body was torn/confused in a sense. But me, in my hope, believed that she was just visiting family....and probably just really busy with her family, thus the brief weekend texts....so I buried what my gut instinct was telling me.

After we broke up and I reflected, I realized that she was indeed banging an old ex on the weekends at home. My gut was 100% right.

In cases like this....where your gut is telling you something based on the circumstances around a girl you're seeing and it comes to gut instinct vs "hope" that things will work out...or the thought of "no, she couldn't possibly be doing that....give her the benefit of the doubt" then gut instinct always wins. Gut trumps all....rock , paper, scissors and hope.

In the face of rather obvious situations and strong gut instinct telling you something is awry....to hope for what you wish was....what you would like reality to be and to suppress what your gut instinct is telling you.....is for chumps.

Post: #20

Gut instinct gets more accurate with experience.

I still trust it more than my conscious mind.

Every time i've fucked something up big time in my life has been when I've over-ridden my gut feeling with "logic".

Post: #21

@Frenchie

may sound like old aged advice, but I wouldn't really take it personally.

If you had to face threats growing up, then it can make you over cautious, or end up over thinking about situations and interactions.

It must be remembered as well, that a lot of people are pretty insecure, or lack social skills. So they may be a aloof with you or come across as cautious, but its more of a reflection of them rather than you.

Also there could be projection going on here as well, people are very receptive when it comes to picking up others, although its usually registered on a sub conscious level. If your gut is telling you there is a potential threat, just register it down but relax. If you are using this forum you must have some understanding of social dynamic and creating a presence for yourself. Sometimes this can lead to over thinking and looking into situations that aren't even existent.

Post: #22

Has anyone ever had their gut feelings or intuition mislead them, or let them down ?


Is intuition always right ?

Post: #23

It comes down to how much information you have.
For example, I met a guy I thought was going to be a real asshole. Come to find out he was really sick physically and in a lot of pain. In other words a really good guy with an uphill battle. It all comes down to how much information at the moment.

Post: #24

(01-29-2017 05:22 PM)Mercenary Wrote:  Has anyone ever had their gut feelings or intuition mislead them, or let them down ?


Is intuition always right ?

The number of times I didn't listen to my gut and regretted it far outnumber the times I listened to my gut and regretted it. I can't really think of any examples of the second case.

I think the reason for this is that your instinct, gut, animal brain, whatever you want to call it, notices things which your conscious mind doesn't. Primarily in terms of body language.

But with that said, you can of course be oversensitive to things. That's basically what anxiety issues are about, though I think they're more of a "learned" instinct that crowds out gut instinct, rather than your actual intuition. Mindfulness and a non bullshit shrink can help. After an accident that nearly killed me, I had some therapy sessions with a tough old Brooklyn dude who wasn't afraid to call me out when he thought I was full of shit or rationalizing being a pussy.

Post: #25

(01-29-2017 05:22 PM)Mercenary Wrote:  Has anyone ever had their gut feelings or intuition mislead them, or let them down ?


Is intuition always right ?

I would say it is impossible to know. I know a couple where the wife has amazing, almost psychic intuition, and the husband does not, or at least doesn't know how to access his own.

Except the wife has no idea she has good intuition, she thinks, against all evidence, that she is the thinker in the family, and the husband is the one with the intuition.

So she ignores her intuition, and always tries to think things through, making everything worse in such a consistent way, that it is like her mind is a kind of anti-intuition.

The husband though knows the score, and has developed a clever hack, that he has never told the wife, because she would not believe it, and would ruin if she knew about it. The hack is, whenever he is stuck on something, a plan, idea, or even what color pants to wear with what blazer, he asks her what he should do and says, don't think about it, what is your first impression?

He says that in this way, he gets reliably good advice from his wife.

So, a major problem with intuition is that it can be very difficult to tell the difference between your true intuition and what you think, or what your preferences and inclinations tell you.

You may think your intuition is letting you down, when in fact you weren't listening to it in the first place.

Also, because there is no way to set up a test where you create the same situation twice and test it both ways (follow/not follow intuition), there is no way of knowing whether or not it would have worked out better had you not followed your intuition. All you can know is that it seemed to work out pretty well when you followed your intuition. You have no idea whether or not it might have worked out much better if you hadn't.

Also, the usual conception of intuition is that it saves you from some kind of trouble, as in, don't trust that person, or, don't walk home, take a cab.

So can we say that intuition only works for specific, immediate, finite situations? Is it strictly bounded in scope?

Haven't you had times where your intuition led you into more difficulty and trouble than you might have encountered otherwise?

And it was only later down the road, that you saw the value in what you went through? And that maybe your intuition was teaching you things that might come in handy later?

And how do you distinguish this from the backwards rationalizing that we do to save face?

I think it is impossible to know much about intuition beyond the supposition that it is an a-rational way of knowing things that seems to work for some people and not for others.