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Do you always wait for signals to approach or escalate?
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Pride male Offline
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Post: #1
Do you always wait for signals to approach or escalate?
I can talk to girls fairly easily. Tease, story tell etc etc. But my main problem is I am always waiting for the right moment to go for the kiss or touch her tits. But like you know some girls don't give any signs but your gut tells you to go for the kill. So do you guys wait for a sign, or do you just make the ho say no?

Don't debate me.
11-03-2014 12:44 PM
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RE: Do you always wait for signals to approach or escalate?
Err on the side of 'controlled' aggression

After you create that comfort look to break the touch barrier, and escalate

There may not be physical signs but some of the signs you can look for: is she rambling, or her being fidgety etc? She may be nervous and waiting on you to make your move.

Create an open and go for it. If a girl is rambling on and I can't get a word in edgewise, I may try to redirect with some direct touching and proceed from there.

Nowadays pre-bang - if a girl is isolated with me I'm treating it like the last time I may see her

You are correct; most girls won't give you a clear signal but if your gut tells you it's time to move your move, then likely it's time

MDP
11-03-2014 04:25 PM
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WestIndianArchie Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Do you always wait for signals to approach or escalate?
(11-03-2014 12:44 PM)Pride male Wrote:  I can talk to girls fairly easily. Tease, story tell etc etc. But my main problem is I am always waiting for the right moment to go for the kiss or touch her tits. But like you know some girls don't give any signs but your gut tells you to go for the kill. So do you guys wait for a sign, or do you just make the ho say no?

It is certainly safer to wait for signals, but you'll be punished for it.

A lot of girls either
1) don't signal,
2) have "signals" that no normal man would ever notice.

"I used a dangling participle, I figured that would alert him"

Keep in mind, the game is
- talk first
- get her to talk to you
- touch first
- get her to touch you
- keep pushing forward.

So best practices

Overall?

Become social. Talk to lots of people. From the outside, you want to look social. On the inside, you want to change your personality and behavior to someone that likes to talk to people.

With respect to approaching and opening?

If you are establishing yourself as a people person, it helps to announce to the "world" that you're a people person within her line of sight or her earshot. It basically prepares the girl that you're a social person.

When that is not possible?

It's better to approach direct/semi-direct.

The classic, "you look like you're having the most fun here", along with the open body language, and "smile in your voice" let's a chick know, most of the time, that you're trying to be social.

After that, use your best game.

To get to the next level, after talking you need to put your paws on the girl, you start with


- Inadvertent touches - like reaching across her space to grab the salt shaker, your sleeved forearm brushing against her sleeved forearm.

- Social touches - Gently moving her out of the way, because the bar back is coming past you with a bucket of ice on his shoulder

- Romantic and playful touches that allow her choice - Like a palm open to lead her to the dance floor. Or thumb wrestling. Palm reading. Finger/Hand measuring.

None of this should make a typical girl feel threatened or creep her out, and it will bring you closer. Word and touch.

- Surprising touches - twirl her around, pick her up. Assuming the vibe is good, you go to these next.

At this point though, the conversation should be 50/50, she should not be recoiling away from your touch. And if she's not recoiling, if she's laughing at your jokes, that's the signal to get a little more physical, like a hand hold, or a triangular gaze kiss. (eyes, mouth, eyes, kiss)

What happens when she's not feeling you?

Somewhere along this sequence, a chick might cringe, or wince, or try to get away from you.

Let her.

If she continues to want to talk to you, and flirt with you - you went in to heavy. Try again.
If you fail again, she just wants attention - you should bounce.

Eventually, you'll drop away from this kind of "structured encounter" because you'll be better able to read the signs and check the vibe. What you do verbally and body language wise will escalate the encounter.

So during the chat aspect of the game, you're flirting, cracking jokes, telling stories, doing cold reads, bragging, teasing. And in my style of game, I'm doing the same non-verbally through my own body language, and through touch.

WIA
11-03-2014 04:35 PM
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Post: #4
RE: Do you always wait for signals to approach or escalate?
I always follow the "2 steps forward, 1 step back" principle. The problem with waiting for signs is that a girl will rarely, if ever, show signs that she wants you to escalate. If your gut is telling you to kiss her, do it. Always err on the side of rejection(in this case, her verbally or non-verbally rejecting your kiss) rather than regret(not kissing her and irritating about your inability to "seal the deal" later).
11-03-2014 04:49 PM
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Post: #5
RE: Do you always wait for signals to approach or escalate?
To me there 2 ways to make moves/escalate..

1. you just do it out of nowhere cause you see its good time to do it [during high emotional points or when you just feel it's ok to do it in that moment]. so you just take her hand or go in for a kiss.

2. you invite her to participate. it's a lot safer way. for example instead of just going for a hug and risking potential awkwardness you bait her by reaching out your arm first to indicate that you want to hug her. if she's down for that she takes your bait and comes to you which is her green light for you to escalate. when she's not down for hugging in that moment she simply doesn't come closer towards you. which is no big deal. there's no awkwardness in the air. you save face and register her level of compliance towards you.

that's the best way to escalate. especially in groups. especially in mixed ones cause everybody can see that she clearly agrees to do whatever it is you invite her to do. but in general it's very good way to make moves in most social situations in public places. for example you can talk to a girl for just 5-10 minutes and then "give your elbow" for her to grab it to lead her physically. it's safe nice yet effective cause it's "classy". girls like it. it's much better than just grabbing her hand out of the blue and trying . if she rejects it nothing bad happens. she will probably just giggle and see you as the guy who's not afraid to make moves. all good Smile
11-05-2014 05:18 AM
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bojangles Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Do you always wait for signals to approach or escalate?
I think this really goes along the lines of:

Men are supposed to lead the interaction

So lead

Escalate when you're ready, ready for any negative reaction, ready for any positive reaction. You should always be ready to escalate, the key thing when guys get into game is they are afraid of escalating. Without escalation, you won't get the bang. Go for it, you'll learn more each time you do it.

Don't forget to check out my latest post on Return of Kings - 6 Things Indian Guys Need To Understand About Game

Desi Casanova
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11-05-2014 10:10 AM
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Post: #7
RE: Do you always wait for signals to approach or escalate?
With approaching, I do not wait for a signal. I just talk to girls that I am attracted to.

What I wait for is an "approach opportunity", a moment when she is alone, a moment when she is available, a moment were we can both be in the same place at the same time with something in common to talk about about.

If I waited for a signal to approach, I would be waiting for a very long time.

*****

In terms of escalating, I do wait for a "signal".

This is something I used to struggle with.

I started getting numbers, then, I started getting dates, then, I started getting girls back to my place... They would sit on my couch but I wasn't sure when or how to get physical...

I made many mistakes. I tried to kiss girls and they turned away, etc.

Now, I have a methodology that I like..

First, I look for comfort. Is she relaxed around me? Is she talking openly with me? Is she giving me good eye contact and asking me personal questions?

If I get these types of "signals", I know the girl is at least comfortable in my presence.

My next step is light, non sexual touching. I casually touch her arm, shoulder, back, or thigh. This happens during laughter, during a moment of excitement or passion, or to playfully get her attention.

Hopefully, she touches me back.

If she does, I will likely make the first move by rubbing her hand and wrists, if this goes well, I rub her shoulders/back and the kiss is only moments away.

If she does not touch me back, I "invite" her to touch me by placing my body near hers. I might "accidentally" touch my foot against hers. I open up my body language, take up a lot of space and look for her to touch me in any way. Often times, they will touch their leg against mine or they touch my arm or shoulder.

Once this happens, I go into "Soft Stroking". This is when I rub her hand or wrist in a seductive way. If she lets me do this, the kiss is only moments away.

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Here is a post I wrote last month that is relavant to this discussion.

(09-15-2014 12:53 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  First, get her drunk. This lowers her inhibitions and opens up her up for pleasure and fun.

Then, touch her playfully in a non sexual way. Grab her arm to get her attention. Touch your leg against hers and pretend its an accident. Better yet, put your leg close to her's so it will seem like she touched you first. Gently, touch her shoulder or forearm when you guys are laughing together. Playfully, tap or "slap" her on the leg when she disagrees with you. Grab her arm and give it a gentle squeeze when you agree on something.. These are just basic examples of playful non sexual touching.

The next step for me is "Soft stroking". (Gently and lightly running my fingers over her skin)

I often start with her hands, rubbing them and caressing them.

I "soft stoke" her wrists, forearms, upper arms and shoulders, taking my time before moving higher. I caress her collarbone and neckline, rub her back and run my hand across the back of her neck...

Finally, I put my nose on her ear and my face next to hers.. I run my lips over her neck and hair line..

I go for the make out, I rub her ass.

This is what has worked for me over the years.
(This post was last modified: 11-05-2014 02:22 PM by Giovonny.)
11-05-2014 02:21 PM
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