Post: #26

How long have you two been together?

but tbh, you already know you don't want to be with her long term hence the creation of this thread. do what you gotta do

Post: #27

(09-20-2014 11:40 AM)pitt Wrote:  Your wife sounds great, if she has a big butt, feel free to pm me with her contact.

Post: #28

just did it.

oh well. at least she was civil about it. she wanted to know why no face to face and I told her because we always ended up having "weasel in heat" sex in the living room so I wanted to disarm her like that.

then she said that she flies out tomorrow and wanted to see if I could take care of her dog to which I said that I had left her her keys under her welcome mat and she got pissed and started crying that I didn't say hi.

then, and I'm sure this is a last ditch effort for attention, she said that her "stalker" ex started contacting her about getting back a dresser that supposedly belongs to him and she had scheduled movers to be there on Wednesday. I told her to schedule it for Monday if she really had no one to watch her dog I'd be there.

overall, a pretty clean break.

Post: #29

@mikeraw - I made some observations about your post that I found interesting in the beginning but somewhat disturbing in the end. We're going to get a bit away from the break-up here but I promise I have a point.

Yes I agree that there is something to be said about background matches between a couple. It's easier to get along with a girl that enjoys the same things as you in the LONG RUN. This is about the only place our beliefs cross paths.

The problem you have, however, is a bit bigger. It's made up of a few components that are in your head (e.g. because someone told you and you believe them) and not necessarily real:

Elitism: Again a social construct. I think you believe that your way is better, bottom line. Maybe this is my "blue collar" mindset talking. I actually came from another country and made a better man of myself starting from the bottom up. In my journey, I came across the so called "upper class" people as well as "hood rats." Got along with all of them because I saw a different perspective from each of them; often I learned how to be more ballsy from the hood rats and have good etiquette from the upper class dudes. Both of these groups never really mingled together.

Maybe your kids will pick up bad habits from their "blue collar" cousins but maybe they'll also pick up some street skills they can use for a time that they travel to another country or get in a fight.

Lot of the "hood rats" you mention that I met when I was 18 are now in leadership roles that transcended their background. Other people enjoy being around these people because they're social and have great interpersonal skills.

This all brings me to versatility. A good man, a classy man, is versatile. I truly believe this. He transcends class as a social construct and can deal with hood-rats as well as the upper class CEOs. All because he's versatile enough to have made every opportunity count and get to know every person available to him. I'm not preaching this to anyone but this is my template for living.

Masculinity: Masculinity also transcends class. If someone tries to fuck with your loved ones, you won't be able to go back to your "upper class" behaviors to protect them. Maybe you can but I highly doubt it. Some of the behaviors you mentioned will not be tolerated in the future by too many attractive women. For example, breaking up over the internet shows a lack of frame. Like you ran away from a fight. You need to build that up if you want to end up with a girl that's classy and versatile. Men don't run away from a face to face confrontation. Imagine a CEO doing that or a top salesman cancelling the relationship by email or phone. It doesn't work and can be considered an overall pussy move by those involved.

I may be getting a bit direct and brash here but honestly man, I suggest you make some friends outside of your group. See qualities in people for what they really are, not some elitist bullshit fed to you through the crack pipe of social programming.

What I find disturbing is that you are in a box and believe that box is everything and anything you need and desire. You believe it will protect you and cherish you. However, all it's doing is closing you off to the world. The world you're already in.

As a guy that comes from the "supposed" bottom of the barrel and being around people who are even further down according to society, I know for a fact that class is a moving target and you need to hit it every minute; it's not something you're born with.

You're not done being classy.

Post: #30

Crap.

I can't believe this entire thing has focused on the blue collar thing, but I'm not surprised, as it really WAS the last consideration that broke this relationship's back. The fact that readers keep going back to the class thing and I keep having to address it is what's making this sound very-unclassy. Come to think of it, I don't think I've read much on the Manosphere about class and the better things in life. I'll have to address that issue some day...

Cobra, thanks for your very logical and thought out views on this situation. For the record, I'm not freaking royalty, but I'm way closer to that extreme than the drug-pushing, ghetto gangbangers in the other extreme. And I know that her family is not closer to the ghetto gangbangers either, but from what I've heard and seen in pcitures, I come from a better background, so why take a step back in the inter-generational improvement of a family... of a bloodline?

I'm not disagreeing with you that there are things to be learned from rougher people...hell, the fighting thing is a perfect example. And even today, I've made plans to watch football and drink all day with my less refined buddies precisely because I want to let off some steam and curse and not be proper. So there... I do have friends in all walks of life.

All things being equal, however, it's preferable to expose oneself and our progeny to the better things in life. Because even within social strata there is a pecking order. And kids figure out this pecking order the physical, animalistic way when they're younger, only resorting to more civilized ways of resolving conflict when they're older.

I kind of expected the focus of this thread to be on the "class" thing because, again, it's not often brought up and those distinctions may seem silly nowadays, but my BIGGEST surprise is how users keep saying that I should've broken up with her in person (I did it over the phone, by the way, not the interwebz). By breaking up in person I'm opening myself to all sorts of potential problems:

1. If there is yelling and crying, neighbors call the cops, guess who goes to jail?


2. Women are extremely cunning, I know for a fact the ensuing waterworks would've led to a hug because we men are paternal in nature... and if I stood my ground and not tried to console her, she would've outright asked for a hug... her touch, smell, and the familiar embrace might've led to something else and look! back to where we started... in bed, with mutual promises to make things work.


3. A face-to-face break-up would've been a drawn-out affair... My phone conversation with her lasted 12 minutes and it kept going on various tangents that would've been worse in person and I would've been the bad guy no matter what... don't you guys read Vox? http://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2014/0...akups.html

I'm sure some of the keyboard jockeys on this site are familiar with the "Nuke it from orbit" meme...

Seriously, I'm pretty sure Sun Tzu or Robert Greene recommended that if you have to engage in conflict, better make it under your own terms and in your preferred ground... by doing this over the phone I took away the most powerful weapon in the female's arsenal... the ability to seduce as a last resort. In the movie "Munich", there's a part where one of the commando's discovers that one of the female members is a traitor, and once she realizes she's f*cked what does she do? She starts taking off her shirt to seduce her way into staying alive. (I don't remember if she was a traitor or a spy, the thing is that it was an act of desperation)

That's what this girl, my now "ex-girlfriend" could have resorted to. And that's what I successfully avoided.

Post: #31

Mikeraw,

Re-read Cobra's post again.

You and I are from a similar background class-wise. What Cobra wrote above is some real truth. Please re-read... both the words and between the lines.

Post: #32

I would say she's too old for you in general terms, because you can get someone much younger, but for an older guy she could be a sweet catch.

Beyond that, what Cobra said is true.

You need to work on yourself. Your inner game is warped and you're cruising for a psychic, or real, bruising.

As Cobra said, you're in a weird box. You don't even sound like a 21st century American, more like some character out of a Jane Austin or Balzac novel. One of the villains or losers.

(09-20-2014 08:16 AM)mikeraw Wrote:  What bothers me the most are the number of previous guys, divorced, blue collar background, and her out shining me in social situations.

Snobbery AND social insecurity? Not usually seen together and not good.

(09-20-2014 04:51 PM)mikeraw Wrote:  . . . . .
I'm sure some of the keyboard jockeys on this site are familiar with the "Nuke it from orbit" meme...

Seriously, I'm pretty sure Sun Tzu or Robert Greene recommended that if you have to engage in conflict, better make it under your own terms and in your preferred ground... by doing this over the phone I took away the most powerful weapon in the female's arsenal... the ability to seduce as a last resort. In the movie "Munich", there's a part where one of the commando's discovers that one of the female members is a traitor, and once she realizes she's f*cked what does she do? She starts taking off her shirt to seduce her way into staying alive. (I don't remember if she was a traitor or a spy, the thing is that it was an act of desperation) . . .

"I'm sure some of the keyboard jockeys on this site" has the smell of Asperger's or eau de troll. A condescending insult?

Military / violent metaphors for love affairs rarely work, despite the "all's fair in love and war" saying.

Post: #33

Quote: 10. Has a dog...
g. Heartache when death

This is either heartless (proleptic annoyance at her grief) or touching (admitting you would end up fond of the animal).
Thoreau was so shook up when his dog died that he never got another. He couldn't imagine going through the bereavement again.

Post: #34

The only thing I can add that may not have already been said is that the danger of escalation to sex is something to be taken seriously.

"A man has got to know his limitations". There's some good wisdom in that quote.

That said, perhaps you could meet her somewhere's public and private at the same time, like a park bench, to let her have the closure she needs with you in person.

That is if you have enough masculine will power to not go home with her from there.

If you don't want to meet with her because you fear having to endure the chaotic emotions and questions, then that is a bit cowardice since not only would it be good for her but it would be for you as well.

Post: #35

I had a girl a while back that was strong willed and at first I thought breaking up over the phone would be best. But after thinking about it some more I decided to take her to a nice restaurant and do it. I made sure she understood that it was OVER, and that I didn't want to see her again in the future. It went really well. She handled it OK and didn't cause a scene. Of course a couple of days later she texted me to get together to talk. I told her no. She tried a few more times and I stopped responding so she finally gave up. Just my opinion but breaking up with someone via phone or text after you're been with her awhile (1 year in this case) shows a lack of class. Unless she's some sort of nut job, in which case you shouldn't have been with her long enough to build a relationship.

Post: #36

She is 35 and wants kids??

What kind of kids does she want? Risk goes up when the age goes up. I wouldn't start a family with anything less than 25 so that'd be a deal breaker for me (if I wanted kids, which right now I don't).

The other thing is her talking over you. In public I presume? That's also a deal breaker. I was engaged to someone like that. Very conservative values except in public places she was ALWAYS cutting into my conversations out of nowhere...and finishing them. That shit will increase exponentially when you're married.