Post: #1

Over the years I haven't really had many problems with getting girls or having general happiness . I have been a pretty happy go lucky guy with the social circle I had going through high school. Lately I have been off in a life tangent so to speak and never really been keeping track of my social life .

Since graduating high school , the obvious social circle decline has been steady, friends move, get jobs elsewhere , become their own individuals who no longer fit with my life etc . Myself I have taken work in a remote location and it doesn't really fit for maintaining friendships and to further add to that I have done extensive traveling by myself and have met some pretty cool people while being abroad , so in a sense I have somewhat of an abroad social circle .

However , this inflated abroad lifestyle will eventually come to an end and I am seeking to become back on track with building up an image once again for myself to regain some status .

My question is for the forum members who have shared this problem and what they have done to counter it? I'm in my early twenties and still at a very lost and confused pivot point in my life and traveling alone has given me the time and clarity to reflect upon this . When I return home I really want to enjoy my city and eventually move from the suburbs and into the heart of the city and meet some cool people.

The people whom I grew up with are seemingly not fitting anymore and they have slowly been filtering out while only select have remained ..

Insight ?
Comments ?
Thoughts ?

I know I'm not alone in this sense at all

Cheers
Fstr

Post: #2

What do you mean by wanting to build up an image to gain status?

Why do you think you've been letting your hometown friends slip away while you have been growing and traveling?

To me it sounds like you're looking for direction more than friendship. Both of those things are intertwined, but I know that the feel of directionlessness can't really be sated solely by developing yourself. You have to have someone to compare to, to compete with and most importantly to encourage you.

The way I see it you have 2 options.

1. join a social circle of like minded people and adapt to their interests

2. build a social circle and chose the direction for yourself

It's hard to do either of these in this age of social media and the city you live in, but just remind yourself that everyone is or has felt the same way as youat some point. friendship is a basic human need.

Post: #3

You aren't alone. I've experienced the same thing, in a slightly different way. At best it feels like sometimes people who I was once really close with don't make as much sense as they did. At worst its like I'm the only one who gives a damn.

Post: #4

I'm not sure if this topic warrants it's own thread, there are numerous threads about social circles with excellent advice in them. Social circle atrophy is natural and there are plenty of game/networking tools you can use to build a new circle according to your tastes.

Here's a handful of good threads:
/thread-34576.html
/thread-17752.html
/thread-36526.html
/thread-32477.html
/thread-8028.html

There are even more if you want. Use the search function.

Post: #5

I think it depends on what your priorities in life are.

Not every man has a NEED to be in a social circle. Some men are just happy having 1 or 2 friends that they see in far flung destinations on the odd occasion, who they share stories, ideas and wisdom with whilst they pursuit their goals whether that is money, pussy or virtue.

The first thing you must do it set yourself a goal and a direction you want your life to take and whether you'll be truly satisfied following that path. Every path has an impact on what kind of social circle you will have. For example my path is now working independently this has had a negative impact on my social circle and life as before I was in an investment bank and could go out with 20-40 people on any given weekend in the big city. Do you feel happier being in that latter atmosphere or more at ease and satisfied working on your own knowing you're heading towards a goal that you've set.

First thing to remember is that you're fucking young, especially for a man. A man can build social circles at any age but more progressively I'd say in his 30's when he's accomplished, has value, virtue and knowledge. Decide what you really want, if you want that city life, build up your character, style, skills and everything you need to be successful in the big town. Don't worry about building your social circle now because inevitably it'll fade once you move away.

Men go through life making acquaintances, it truly is hard to find lifelong friends, the guys you crashed your toy trucks into at nursery? I have no idea where the fuck they are, don't even remember most of their names. High school acquaintances? Married, fat and not happy going by facebook . University friends? Dredging along in jobs they hate bar one or two who just keep travelling. Work colleagues? Still living their lives with the same achievements, same debt and same robotic lifestyle oh and I do still keep in contact with some of them. My red pill friends? Ah I see them now and then and normally its for a week or two and then we fuck off on our own life paths to do what we please. Then we'll meet again and share our stories. Bit of a cycle I guess.

Post: #6

Yeah like someone else mentioned kind of sounds like looking for direction as well as. As far as friends go when you get home start making friends because the older you get the harder it gets to make friends people have families, etc. The earlier you get started the easier its to make friends. As far as making friends try to reconnect with your old friends but like you said if you guys have grown apart or things don't fit anymore look for new friends. It's kinda hard trying to make friends at a bar or something but you'd probably have better luck joining a softball league, a meetup group for shooting or sailing or dogs or something else your interested in. I know on here many people have talked about practice game and getting out of your shell by talking to people throughout the day whether its a women or a man. I've actually met some cool people just randomly in coffee shops or whatever. Heck the other day I was in a coffee shop, started shooting the shit with some dude about his surface computer since I was thinking about getting one, got to chatting and wound up smoking a bowl with him. Just get out there and meet people

Post: #7

I've never been fond of social circles; taking the solitary route for the most part.

There is only one guy I consider a friend in my life. He's basically like an alter ego to what I am. That is it. I have some acquaintances but all of the "friends" I had during high school and before I no longer speak to. No idea what they are doing.