Post: #1

So I've been out twice with this girl. Last Thursday we went out for sushi and I weaseled my way into her place with the bathroom line (I'm fucking amazed that still works by the way, it's literally the oldest trick in the book) but didn't have sex with her. I slammed her up against a wall had some making out with heavy petting going until she kicked me out. I told her to keep one day free this weekend and she says she might have to go to LA for business (she's a producer) but she'll try and keep Saturday open. A couple days ago I called her up and she said it was looking like she'd be free but still wasn't sure so I told her I'd hit her up later to confirm. Today I text her "hey how about we go to [club] around 11?" and 3 hours later she texts back "Sorry! My bro came into town, I'm going to be tied up."

First of all, my plan is to wait an hour or so and text back "ok". I'm assuming this is acceptable by the Roissy gold standard of laconic brevity.

My real concern, though, is that I'm about to go on vacation for 2 weeks, and after I get back it will have been over 3 weeks since I'd last seen her. What's the optimal way to play this and stay alpha and aloof while still maintaining enough interest to get her out after I get back? Should I just go radio silence until I'm ready to set another date with her or would it be better to have a few phone conversations while I'm away to keep me on her radar? I can see the point that I should be having too much fun on vacation to be bothered to call her but I could also see her going cold if I don't have any contact for another 2 weeks.

Post: #2

(03-19-2011 04:07 PM)gringochileno Wrote:  So I've been out twice with this girl. Last Thursday we went out for sushi and I weaseled my way into her place with the bathroom line (I'm fucking amazed that still works by the way, it's literally the oldest trick in the book) but didn't have sex with her. I slammed her up against a wall had some making out with heavy petting going until she kicked me out. I told her to keep one day free this weekend and she says she might have to go to LA for business (she's a producer) but she'll try and keep Saturday open. A couple days ago I called her up and she said it was looking like she'd be free but still wasn't sure so I told her I'd hit her up later to confirm. Today I text her "hey how about we go to [club] around 11?" and 3 hours later she texts back "Sorry! My bro came into town, I'm going to be tied up."

First of all, my plan is to wait an hour or so and text back "ok". I'm assuming this is acceptable by the Roissy gold standard of laconic brevity.

My real concern, though, is that I'm about to go on vacation for 2 weeks, and after I get back it will have been over 3 weeks since I'd last seen her. What's the optimal way to play this and stay alpha and aloof while still maintaining enough interest to get her out after I get back? Should I just go radio silence until I'm ready to set another date with her or would it be better to have a few phone conversations while I'm away to keep me on her radar? I can see the point that I should be having too much fun on vacation to be bothered to call her but I could also see her going cold if I don't have any contact for another 2 weeks.

My advice is not to text back at all and don't spend too much time thinking about it. You might let her know before you're heading out for your trip and hit her up when you get back. I'm not a big fan of the "ok" or other respond texts because they can be perceived as acceptance of her frame/situation. By not responding, it shows you're busy, have options, and/or DHV's. It gets her hamster wheel spinning and she'll wonder why she hadn't heard back from you. As long as she knows you'll be on vacation you have an excuse not to be in touch and if anything, she'll wonder about you having a good time with other women while you're away.

You definitely don't want to be in touch with her while you're gone and if there was any real interest there you can go with a restart text after your return.

Post: #3

(03-19-2011 04:46 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

(03-19-2011 04:07 PM)gringochileno Wrote:  So I've been out twice with this girl. Last Thursday we went out for sushi and I weaseled my way into her place with the bathroom line (I'm fucking amazed that still works by the way, it's literally the oldest trick in the book) but didn't have sex with her. I slammed her up against a wall had some making out with heavy petting going until she kicked me out. I told her to keep one day free this weekend and she says she might have to go to LA for business (she's a producer) but she'll try and keep Saturday open. A couple days ago I called her up and she said it was looking like she'd be free but still wasn't sure so I told her I'd hit her up later to confirm. Today I text her "hey how about we go to [club] around 11?" and 3 hours later she texts back "Sorry! My bro came into town, I'm going to be tied up."

First of all, my plan is to wait an hour or so and text back "ok". I'm assuming this is acceptable by the Roissy gold standard of laconic brevity.

My real concern, though, is that I'm about to go on vacation for 2 weeks, and after I get back it will have been over 3 weeks since I'd last seen her. What's the optimal way to play this and stay alpha and aloof while still maintaining enough interest to get her out after I get back? Should I just go radio silence until I'm ready to set another date with her or would it be better to have a few phone conversations while I'm away to keep me on her radar? I can see the point that I should be having too much fun on vacation to be bothered to call her but I could also see her going cold if I don't have any contact for another 2 weeks.

My advice is not to text back at all and don't spend too much time thinking about it. You might let her know before you're heading out for your trip and hit her up when you get back. I'm not a big fan of the "ok" or other respond texts because they can be perceived as acceptance of her frame/situation. By not responding, it shows you're busy, have options, and/or DHV's. It gets her hamster wheel spinning and she'll wonder why she hadn't heard back from you. As long as she knows you'll be on vacation you have an excuse not to be in touch and if anything, she'll wonder about you having a good time with other women while you're away.

You definitely don't want to be in touch with her while you're gone and if there was any real interest there you can go with a restart text after your return.

I'm a medical student and she knows I have an exam coming up that I'm studying for full-time before I go on vacation so I'm pretty sure she wouldn't associate a non-response with "he must be busy banging somebody else." Being too busy studying to send a 2-character text message is pretty implausible too, shit I have enough time to dick around on this forum which takes hundreds of times as long. Even if I were getting blown right now I think I could still be bothered to text "ok" but maybe that's just me.

Post: #4

What I would do:

Find some stupid-ass event (preferably free or inexpensive) that's happening in your city in two weeks (check your local indie, underground newspaper). Tell her you love fill-in-the-blank bullshit-band or whatever and that she's coming with you to that show. No flaking allowed.

Reverse the frame by saying you're going to be super busy when you get back and that you're deliberately scheduling actual events with VARIOUS people so you're forced to see them when you get back. "I've been flaking on people left and right, and I'm committing to being better." That way she won't think she's being singled out special.

Post: #5

I say dont text her anything and just go on vacation and hit her when u get back. Cause after all, if your really on her mind like she's on yours, she COULD reach out to you ya know.

After inviting a girl somewhere and see turns it down for whatever reason, the onus is on her to reach out cause she already knows that your interested simply by you asking her out.

You inadvertently create this "you chase her and everything is on her time schedule" frame when u hit a girl up again to see if she wants to go somewhere else before she hits u after she's turned down an opportunity to go out with you previously.