Post: #26

Stupid Facebook quotes.

Post: #27

(08-19-2014 10:53 PM)TheFinalEpic Wrote:  I heavily disagree with your second point.

I do too. Most successful entrepreneurs start their business with not wanting to join the 9 - 5 world as a driving factor.

Post: #28

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

Post: #29

OP #1, I usually say "I'm not a multi-tasker but my brain is constantly trying to be" ha.

(08-19-2014 11:31 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  Insult.

Insult.

Insult.

You say something in response. And they say:

"Don't get defensive."

This is major psychological manipulation and controlling behavior. Several people I know did this to me and when I realized how regularly it happened I ended the friendships.

"Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference." - Mark Twain

Post: #30

(08-19-2014 11:45 PM)Felix88 Wrote:  I think the term toxic people is more appropriate, is it just me or the term loser is strictly american thing?

I believe there's a difference. A loser IMO is basically an under achiever that lacks drive/ambition for success. They usually have average or below average jobs, girlfriends, lifestyles and a cookie cutter personality. They often like to hang out with other losers, so if you start trying to improve yourself, they may try to put you down and THEN that's when they're toxic people. I've seen however, succesful guys that for some reason have this type of attitude as well. They may seem succesful on the surface and have their shit together in many aspects of their life, but deep down they are insecure or jealous when someone else is succesful and have a zero sum mentality. People with this mindset are never true winners. Even though it's human nature to feel jealous if a friend/acquaintance suddenly has a great success in something (women, money...) a winnner will channel his envy to fuel his own self improvement in a constructive way while showing support for his friend. A loser will just be a hater.

Post: #31

Anything that implies lack of control over their lives and passing the buck for bad choices and decisions.

Post: #32

Probably for the best to avoid even thinking about losers and their habits. Focus on the things winners do. Not to knock this thread or anything, but whenever I start focusing on what not to do, I start fucking up my ability to do it. It's a lot like asking, "was that beta?" It's beta if you start cogitating over your every move.

Post: #33

"If you don't love me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"

Trick phrase - there is no 'best' for that person.

Post: #34

Complain constantly

Blame others for their problems

Refuse to take responsibility for their mistakes and failures

Are resentful of successful people, especially ones they have some personal acquaintance with

Will denigrate and ridicule any ambitions, dreams, or projects you have. (Successful people will encourage you and give you advice)

Post: #35

“Let me just check that's ok with the wife first...”

Post: #36

'You're going there alone?'

'Isn't it really dangerous there?'

'I could never do something like that'

Post: #37

The term "loser" should be used carefully. Negative viewpoints and attitudes can be changed and most people can adjust their "loser"-mentality to become successful. However using the term is way too stigmatizing and final.

Negative things people say:

"Just be yourself!"

"I am poor."

"Watching TV is my favorite thing in the world."

Post: #38

"I'll do it tomorrow"

Post: #39

Quote:I'm a feminist

Post: #40

(08-19-2014 11:31 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  Insult.

Insult.

Insult.

You say something in response. And they say:

"Don't get defensive."

This is major psychological manipulation and controlling behavior. Several people I know did this to me and when I realized how regularly it happened I ended the friendships.

I've seen this tactic in business settings numerous times. "Calm down" is another variant, often used in response to someone who just made a good point but was mildly emphatic about it. I'd be hesitant to label it "loser" talk though. It's a reframing/dominance move that can be effective, however dishonest it might be.

If business were more civilized, it would be OK to punch someone for saying that.

Post: #41

"Well, I'm HAPPY!"

- Usually said by someone with an unsuccessful career. Sometimes, it's said by that person's friends when they quit a higher paying job for a lower paying or less prestigious job:

Me: "Yeah, I can't believe Alex quit Goldman Sach$ to go work for that shitty little company"
Female Friend of Alex: "But he's HAPPY!"

Post: #42

Some things that I recall hearing from guys that were huge red flags about them being losers:

"Well that's just your opinion. You have rights to your opinion and I have rights to my opinion."
No you idiot. There is a single universal and common truth and you better find it out and not cuddle your stupid opinion that your ego wants you to beleive to feel better about yourself or face conseqences.

"I am what I am!"
If you are a pathetic loser then you better start being something else.

"Let's have a beer!"
Fuck you pot-bellly couch potatoe. This is not my idea of a time well spent. Don't assume I am into beer just because I am a man.

"Why do you hate women?"
Not pedestalizing is not hate.

"What are you going to do with that strength/muscles/foreign language?"
Yeah right, those are not required to find a remote. But you are getting insecure.

"Manipulation with people is evil!"
Everything is manipulation. Especially evil shaming.

"But it's tasty/cheap!"
It's also poison.

"What women like most in a man is his wallet."
Sucker.

Post: #43

So many of these are just traits of the passive aggressive…the subset of people i hate the most.

Post: #44

(08-19-2014 10:46 PM)nek Wrote:  In the increasingly difficult pursuit of finding driven, positive people to surround myself with, I'm starting to notice certain things that people say that immediately indicate to me that they are not a person to be around for any extent of time. Two examples

1) " I'm a multi-tasker". No, you do a bunch of things in a shitty fashion, can't focus, and change tasks when one of them gets tough

2) "I can't do the 9-to-5 gig". At first this seems harmless, and on the surface most of us here would agree, as the life of an office drone isn't the life for a man (I need to fix this myself) and self-employment is the way to go. That being said, most people who say this, are implying they don't like routine. Newsflash: Routine and habits are the key to getting anything productive in your life done, be it your business or your fitness. Victor Pride at Bold and Determined is self-sufficient and answers to no man, but he has routine in his life. He even wrote a good article about routine:

http://boldanddetermined.com/2014/06/24/...d-killing/

So what are some of the things you here people say that signal LOSER to you? I figure this would be a good information sharing exercise to help all of us navigate a modern world hell bent on mediocrity.

Agree with you 100% on #1. Multitasking is one of the most ridiculous words used in business and life. Nobody can actually multitask, neither men nor women It's just that some delude themselves and believe they can. The result nearly got me seriously injured when a women driving her kid to school, distracted, ran a stop sign in a leafy suburban street and collided with my car inches behind were I was sitting. 1/3rd of a second earlier the impact would have been directly were I was sitting and I'd have had metal/plastic in my ribs and my car would probably have overturned as well. This multitasking delusion has serious life changing and ending consequences. Women especially are told non-stop that they are so special and naturally good at multitasking. It's pure BS. The results is girls texting and driving and killing themselves or others.

Don't completely agree with #2. While I agree that certain activities are best done in a routine fashion, most creative(using term broadly) activities really shouldn't be. If, quite literally, all your hours from 9-5 are taken up with routine work activities, and many of your remaining hours are taken up with routine personal activities I thing you have the balance wrong. The goal, for me, would be to acknowledge that certain things just have to be done in some sort of routine, but work to minimise this as much as possible so that I have more time for "creative" endeavors.

Post: #45

"Work hard, play hard"

"Lord knows..."

"Lemme get a (Twinkie or whatever)"

Post: #46

Its just a coincidence...

Post: #47

(08-20-2014 05:44 PM)Blaster Wrote:  ...
I've seen this tactic in business settings numerous times. "Calm down" is another variant, often used in response to someone who just made a good point but was mildly emphatic about it. I'd be hesitant to label it "loser" talk though. It's a reframing/dominance move that can be effective, however dishonest it might be.

If business were more civilized, it would be OK to punch someone for saying that.

Things losers say are usually great power moves to win the crowd. Things losers say either come from a beta/feminine thought process or an alpha power move to shut down guys (and piss them off) and win women (ie the crowd).

Post: #48

Apologizing.

I've done this a lot. I think it's better to just not do shit that you need to apologize for. An apology implies that you made a conscious effort to do something wrong.

If it's something you weren't aware or really weren't prepared for, then there's a different way to talk about instead of saying "I'm sorry". If you weren't aware that you were doing it, then it's not really your fault.

Post: #49

(08-21-2014 10:47 AM)soup Wrote:  Apologizing.

I've done this a lot. I think it's better to just not do shit that you need to apologize for. An apology implies that you made a conscious effort to do something wrong.

If it's something you weren't aware if, then there's a different way to talk about instead of saying "I'm sorry". If you weren't aware that you were doing it, then it's not really your fault.

"Never complain. Never explain." Disraeli

Probably my favourite quote. Despite not completely living up to it.

Post: #50

(08-21-2014 10:47 AM)soup Wrote:  Apologizing.

I've done this a lot. I think it's better to just not do shit that you need to apologize for. An apology implies that you made a conscious effort to do something wrong.

If it's something you weren't aware or really weren't prepared for, then there's a different way to talk about instead of saying "I'm sorry". If you weren't aware that you were doing it, then it's not really your fault.

It also goes the other way. Losers will make mistakes and then make excuses instead of owning up to them. We all make mistakes and you can apologize if you did something wrong but I also had some friends who would screw up shit and then simply make excuses. That is also a loser in my books.